Foster2Forever

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Foster Baby Arrives! Then Adopted!

On March 4, 2008 at around 3pm, I received a call from the State for an 8-month-old baby boy that needed a foster home. “Foster only“, she repeated twice. “Sure!” was my quick response.

If you recall, that was presidential primary election day. My husband & I were planning to attend our precinct convention that evening & were excited about the possibility of attending the Texas Republican convention again, this time in a presidential election year.

However, this call from the State changed our focus from that night forward.

A State investigator from an adjacent county arrived at our home at 6:45 that Tuesday evening carrying in her arms the cutest baby boy. His bright eyes lit up as he smiled at us for the first time. His bottom 2 teeth gleaming. He was wearing an olive corduroy jacket over his navy onesie with the cutest navy & white striped pants. He was wearing navy tennis shoes! So adorable!


I can only rely on my memory as I didn’t have the foresight to grab my camera.
(A mistake I haven’t made again!)

As the State investigator began telling us the story on this baby, we were thinking “how can anybody neglect a baby that way?” He came with next to nothing & had been kept in his car seat & dirty diapers. What a horrible diaper rash he had! (This is one reason we are having such a difficult time potty-training him now!) He was 8 months old & couldn’t sit up or even roll over! He was also very sick. (Look at those poor little sick eyes!)

That first night was TORTURE! He was so congested that he could only sleep 15 minutes at a time – ALL NIGHT LONG! It was the most exhausting night of my life!

The next morning I drove 1-1/2 to pick up my mother-in-law to help me. I had no idea how to care for an infant! (When pregnant, you have nearly 8-9 months to prepare.) I was an instant Mommy!
For the next 2 weeks, we had DAILY trips to Walmart to pick up some type of baby paraphernalia that we needed. I was absolutely, totally FRAZZLED for at least 6 weeks solid – overwhelmed by the incredible responsibility of instant motherhood!
As time went on, it became more apparent that this baby wouldn’t be going back to his parents. He did have a full brother 2 years older that was living with his grandparents. The baby would have been sent to live with his grandparents, but they were already raising SIX of their other grandchildren!
Once the parental rights were terminated, the grandparents realized that we could provide more for the baby than they could & decided to allow us to adopt him.
What a handsome little man he has become!
foster infant child kid adopting adopted
As challenging as our JD has been, he has been an amazing blessing in our lives!
Have a great weekend!

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Saturday Shout-Outs

Today, I’d like to share posts from other foster care blogs.

Kristin of Adventures of a Betty Crocker WannaBe is taking a leave of absence from blogging because…Cooper’s sister is moving in with the intention of adoption! Congratulations on your growing family!

La Mama Loca has been feeling overwhelmed with everything and is asking for prayer. Go on and give her a big virtual hug! 

Katrina of Making Many Memories began a series called Finding Forever Families Fridays featuring children with Down’s Syndrome. Would you consider adopting a Down’s Syndrome child destined for a life in an institution?

Adoptive Momma of Two had this informative post on ADHD.

Adoptive Momma of Two

Brit of Living with Three Boys of Our Own inspired me about batch cooking.  Could I really do this? Have you?

The Rockin' Mama ChallengeAnd I have to mention Lisa of A Bushel and a Peck aka One Thankful Mom. This Houston mom has eleven, yes, 11 children and has hosted a Rockin’ Mama Challenge to spend 15 minutes every day rocking our little ones to promote attachment. I have to say that, after this challenge, our Stinkpot is now asking to be held now.

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Am I Harboring an Illegal Immigrant?

Living in Texas, illegal immigration is a HUGE controversial topic. Especially, since April when Arizona passed their stringent illegal immigration law. With a third of the Texas population being Hispanic, our Tex-Mex culture inundates us here. So much, that we don’t really think much about whether someone is here legally or not.

How does illegal immigration affect us personally?
Our 17-month-old foster baby, Lil Bit, was born in Mexico and brought back to Texas by his birthmother.

WHY? Because the State has removed so many children from the birthmother, she cannot give birth in this area without the hospitals contacting the State for removal. Before giving birth, the birthmother (a U.S. citizen) fled to Mexico with the Mexican birthfather and gave birth to our Lil Bit in Mexico. So, Lil Bit is “officially” recognized as a Mexican citizen with a Mexican birth certificate.

MexicoThis does complicate matters in that he is not considered a U.S. citizen.  (Dual citizenship has recently become discouraged by U.S. policy.)

The birthmother has voluntarily relinquished her parental rights; however, the State has to also remove the birthfather’s parental rights before Lil Bit will be officially available for adoption.

The problem is that the birthfather is somewhere in Mexico and must be given notice before the State can legally terminate his rights. Another problem is that the mentally-challenged birthmother cannot remember where he lives. So the Mexican consulate is now trying to locate a man with a fairly common Hispanic name somewhere in Mexico.

Another court date is scheduled for next month. We anticipate that the birthfather’s parental rights will be terminated at this hearing. Then Lil Bit will officially be an orphan and available for adoption.

Because Lil Bit is not “officially” a U.S. citizen, this will make our eventual adoption of him quite a bit more complicated — more like an international adoption. Although, he is considered a Mexican national without a green card, the State does have custody of him; thus, our Lil Bit will NOT be deported. Whew!

The State is currently working on his application for U.S. citizenship.

Who knows when the courts will “officially” name Lil Bit as our son – what we know is that Lil Bit already IS our son!

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2010 – THE RECAP CONTINUES…

2010 began with MIRACLE AFTER MIRACLE

JULY
Our Stinkpot turned 3 years old!
Foster2Forever celebrates our first blogiversary with a re-design
July became Abuse-Your-Child month when we were called about EIGHT children
Adoption by a relative is still the plan for our then 10-month-old foster baby, Lil Bit

AUGUST
My husband and I have a 3 DAY DATE!!!
HIDE YOUR KIDS! HIDE YOUR WIFE!
Our LOVE STORY begins

Lil Bit’s birthmother plans to VOLUNTARILY RELINQUISH PARENTAL RIGHTS
Stinkpot’s REIGN OF TERROR begins
WE WILL ADOPT LIL BIT (MIRACLE!!)

SEPTEMBER
The case of the MISSING RELINQUISHMENT PAPERS

OCTOBER
Lil Bit becomes AN ORPHAN (or so we thought)
Stinkpot is OUT OF CONTROL
BLOGGY AND MOMMY BOOT CAMPS

NOVEMBER is National Adoption Month
We host an ADOPTION BLOG HOP – 117 families have added their story (Have you added yours?)
Mama Foster wrote on the LOSS OF HER DAUGHTER through foster care
Melody from I Heart…small kitchen appliances shared her experience with TRANS-RACIAL ADOPTION
We had a BABY JOIN OUR FAMILY!
Kelly from The Six of Us told us about her INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION
Katrina from Making Many Memories told us about their OPEN ADOPTION
La Mama Loca talked about BLENDING 3 FAMILIES

DECEMBER
WORLD AIDS DAY
When we DISCOVERED OUR INFERTILITY
Stinkpot’s STRONG WILL PAYS OFF

2011 will be a year of CHALLENGES and CHANGE. 
The CHALLENGE of controlling Stinkpot’s behavior.
(& getting him potty-trained)
The CHANGE as I leave my career to stay home with him.
The final adoption of Lil Bit. (hopefully)
How was your 2010? Did you experience any miracles??? 

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Prayer Warriors Needed

As foster parents, we sometimes have to face the tearing apart of our families. A family is fragmented with a letter stating that a child will be removed and placed elsewhere.


The State doesn’t always have the best interests of the child in mind when making these decisions. Sometimes the removal of a child is what is quickest, easiest and will require the least amount of paperwork.

Shannon at http://4kidsandsurviving.blogspot.com needs prayer warriors! Little Mya needs prayer!

The State is quickly moving toward reunification with her birthfamily and the 2-year-old is distressed over leaving her foster family.

Please add Mya and all her family and workers to your prayer list.

“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” ~Ephesians 6:18

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2010 – A YEAR OF MIRACLES!

What a year! Miracle after miracle occurred in our family. The Bible verse to define the year for us:
Romans 8:28 “all things work together for good to those who love God…”

JANUARY

  • 12-year-old foster girl joins our family late one night just 1 month from being adopted
  • 2 of my dear friends lost family members
  • I bought my fancy-smancy camera and was asked THIS QUESTION
  • After receiving a beautiful 4-month-old baby boy 10 days before Christmas that would be available for adoption (we had even picked a name); we were notified that he would be leaving us.

FEBRUARY

MARCH

APRIL

MAY

JUNE

I’ll be back later for the “rest of the story”…

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ADOPTION MONTH HIGHLIGHTS

WOW!  What a month for adoption this has been! 

4,800 foster children in the United States were adopted this month!!!

Over 100 adoption stories were added to our Adoption Blog Hop!!!  Thanks to all who added their stories! Supporting each other through the tangled web of adoption is important. The blog hop will be open through December, so encourage other adoptive families to join. I found some incredible stories and simply AMAZING families and will be adding them to my blogroll. Did you find any other adoption blogs to add to your blogroll? 

The purpose of National Adoption Month is to raise awareness of foster children waiting for forever families.  It is also the purpose of this blog.  I hope that we have achieved this.  I have had a few inquiries about how to become a foster parent.

Kristen of Betty Crocker Wannabe wrote this incredible post on Navigating the Foster Care System. A must-read for those considering getting licensed. Would you consider getting licensed if just to provide respite care for foster families?

Have a blessed week!

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HOW TO MAKE 3 FAMILIES INTO 1 (Blending Families)

PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST WINNER
The winner of yesterday’s photo caption contest is Denver Laura of Fertility Alphabet Soup who is making the leap from fertility treatments to foster care.  This month, she had the joy of an 8-month-old baby boy in her home and then the disappointment of his leaving with a relative. Go give her a *BIG* virtual hug!!!

BLENDING FOSTER KIDS INTO ONE FAMILY
Now – Say a BIG “Howdy” to La Mama Loca, a foster mom that has adopted 5 of her foster children! Her family of 7 is about to move from the Midwest to Puerto Rico…

Hello and thanks for reading about our crazy family! Just over five years ago, my husband and I jumped on the foster care roller coaster adventure. Never did we imagine the ride that was in store for us!
In January of 2006, we received our first call, three children, ages and names unknown.  That list of questions to ask before you take a placement….right out the window! All we knew when we went to pick them up several hours later was that there was 1 boy and 2 girls, they were approximately 3, 4, and 5 yrs old, sick, and none spoke a word of English.
Papa Loco, my husband, is fluent in Spanish, and I know enough to be dangerous! We picked the kids up around 7 in the evening and from then on out, our lives changed dramatically!  While I had a degree in Education and we had both been around children all our lives, for the first time, we were totally responsible for these precious lives! It was a bit scary, but we made it through!  I think back to those early days and I am amazed at how we all clicked and made it work.  Going from no children to three children does not work for everyone, but for us, it did.  Due to the nature of the kids case, we were still unsure of their full names and ages until about 2 weeks into the case:
  • Smarty Pants had just turned 5 years old, less than two weeks before we got him.
  • Sweet Thing was 3, almost 4 years old.
  • Drama Mama was 2.5….and every bit her nickname!

Over the next few years, we added other foster children into our home.  Almost a year into their placement, we added Goofy Girl.  She had been a pre-adoptive placement and been doing (free) respite from 14 mos-18 mos.  The kids were so excited to have her finally move in.  They have always had warm and loving hearts and welcomed her in.

For the first two years of the older three’s case, and first year of GG’s case, we had no parental visits.  This is rare.  We took it for granted.  After a year in care, Goofy Girl’s bio mom showed up…demanding visits.  This time she had her boyfriend, who she claimed was GG’s bio father, in tow.  Visits were hard.  Very hard!  From 11 mos-2 yrs old, GG had no contact with her bio mom.  I was her mom, Papa Loco was her Papa.  It took many months for her to feel comfortable with leaving our sides.
Several months later, we added La Loquita to our family….Goofy Girl’s sister.  She was with us from 1.5 months old to 7 months.  She had a short 3 months reunification with bio mom, but surprise, we got a call one late night saying she’d been removed again…did we want her back?? Of course, she was our baby girl!

At that point, we had 6 children in our home.  We also had Chunky Monkey…the 1/2 brother of the older three kids.  He was with us for the first year of his life.  The kids did not know he was their 1/2 brother right away.  We were really torn on how to handle this issue.  They had no contact with their bio family.  For two years, we had no idea where their bio mother was, if she was dead or alive.  It was a total out of the blue call telling us that Chunky Monkey existed and was in care! CM had weekly visitation with bio mom and his father.  He went home at 13 months old.  This was very hard for the kids.  They were very very very concerned about him, if bio mom was making good choices, if he was safe. Losing him was heartbreaking for all of us.  Yet we also saw God’s hand on the situation.  While bio mom made a lot of stupid choices in those past few years, she also realized it.  She worked hard to get Chunky Monkey back.  We developed a relationship with her, that while it has its ups and downs, has been a blessing. We now have frequent contact with Chunky Monkey, Mr. Macho, and La Gorda, the other two half siblings.

We have now finalized the adoption of our 5 children.

Each set of cases last 3.5 years from placement to adoption.
Ages at placement:
Smarty Pants-5, Sweet Thing-3, Drama Mama-2, Goofy Girl-11 mo, La Loquita-1 mo.
Ages at adoption:
Smarty Pants-8, Sweet Thing-7, Drama Mama-6, Goofy Girl-4, La Loquita-2.

We have, by the grace of God, managed to blend three families into one.  We have an open adoption with both bio mothers, but currently, only contact with 1.  We know we are not the only family these children have.  With boundaries, we have managed to have good relationships with extended bio family.  The kids know there are biological differences amongst them.  We talk a lot about how we are a family formed by adoption with a lot of people to love them.  Like any group of 5 siblings, they bicker and fight.  Yet they also have a very tight bond that no one can tear apart.

Love has brought our family together in a way, we never imagined.  We continue to pray about adding more children to our family!  We can’t get enough crazy in our lives!

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New Foster Baby: Wordless Wednesday

On Friday night, we were blessed with the placement of a 4-month-old baby boy for foster care.  He was brought as a temporary placement for a few days that has now been extended for a number of months.

As much as it breaks my heart, we cannot keep him and requested that he be moved to another foster home.  As a 2-parent working family, we are just not equipped to have another infant in our home.

It took a few days to find the baby another foster home – we are the ONLY foster home in our area that is licensed for infants! 
Would YOU consider opening your home to children???

Be sure and enter Foster2Forever’s Shutterfly photo book giveaway! (worth more than $40!)
You can enter by linking your Wordless Wednesday photo below!
Simply Being Mommy 125x125

I’m Clever

Sway