The hardest part of adopting through foster care is the uncertainty of a final adoption.
Our 10-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit, was placed in our home after a violent dispute between the mother and her grandmother, last December. The mother had had her parental rights terminated with her 5 previous children which were not placed with relatives. We were told the baby would be ours for adoption. (oops!)
This case has been a complete mess and $6,000 in legal fees later – Lil Bit is still with us until a custody hearing in late September. You can read the history HERE.
We had a permanency meeting last month to discuss the forever plan for Lil Bit and his mother’s progress for reunification. When a child is first removed, the parents and the State draw up a permanency plan checklist that lays out all the individual steps a parent must do in order to be reunified with their child(ren). Items include things as routine (for the normal responsible population) as getting (and keeping) a job or income and finding a place to live independently. Other things include drug testing, anger management classes, parenting classes, first aid training, and individual or group counseling.
In the meeting, Lil Bit’s mentally-challenged birth mother showed that she is working hard to complete everything on the permanency plan checklist to get back custody of her baby. She had completed all the training and is now receiving SSI and will be moving into government housing soon. She has purchased a baby bed and high chair for Lil Bit, fully anticipating his return.
This is the saddest part! After all of her hard work, in this meeting, a State worker looked the birth mother in the face and told her,
I felt so horrible for this mother. She really has no clue and neither does her mother.
The State’s current plan is adoption by the baby’s great-aunt. The birth mother and grandmother oppose this adoption and stated in the meeting that they want us to adopt Lil Bit instead of their family. They stated that the uncle is a weekend disc jockey and there is a lot of alcohol consumption in the home. “They like to party.” The State did acknowledge that they did need to “check out some things” in regard to their home study.
The CASA stated that another court hearing will occur before our original September 22nd custody hearing. We believe that the State will be seeking to terminate the birth mother’s parental rights before September, but we do not know.
The good news is that Lil Bit will stay with us in the meantime. More time to be a true blessing in our home!
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I just heard that everything is fine for the licensing of our home for the 18-year-old with Asperger’s Syndrome. We still haven’t heard from his case worker and are assuming they found a home for him.
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Yesterday, our 3-year-old Stinkpot, was very upset with us for not taking him with us to “Big Church” after Sunday School. So last night, we took him with us to Sunday evening worship since there wasn’t any childcare that night. He did GREAT, sitting up in his chair, paying close attention – UNTIL – the singing stopped. Then continually, loudly whining politely asking to go to “his class”.
So he and I went outside to the church playground, split a Wendy’s Apple Pecan Chicken Salad, and enjoyed a special “Mommy and Me” picnic!
Hosted by Krystyn
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Have a great week!
