Foster2Forever

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Staying Calm During a Tantrum

I’ve written before about identifying the emotional triggers that can send a child into a tantrum – a toy doesn’t work a certain way, foods that touch each other on a plate, the word “NO”…

And when the tantrum begins, a parent is always perfectly calm, right?

I don’t know about you, but sometimes my child can certainly push my buttons, and can trigger me into my own “mommy meltdown.”

When your child throws a tantrum, make sure you dont either. Great parenting advice.

In the video below, condensed from a livestream, I discuss the importance of remaining calm when your child is misbehaving — plus I discuss the book I’m writing!!!

Video: Staying Calm During a Tantrum

Great reminder for when my child is throwing a tantrum. #parenting

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Silly Song to Teach Children to Control Emotions

My kids and I loved the Disney/Pixar movie, Inside Out! (Have you read my Inside Out movie review for foster/adoptive parents?)

What makes the Inside Out movie a great tool in parenting is that it gives kids a language to talk about ways to control emotions they are feeling. Getting your children to talk about their emotions can be quite frustrating as a parent.

Here’s a silly song about emotions so you can teach your children various ways to control emotions.

{sung to the tune of If You’re Happy and You Know It}

If you’re JOYful and you know it – Laugh out loud
If you’re ANGRY and you know it – Breathe in deep
If you’re SAD and you know it – You can cry
If you’re SCARED and you know it – Hug your dad

Be sure and read these 8 Tips to Teach Children How to Control Emotions.

If you’d like to laugh at me, here’s my blooper reel from this video.

Remember that activity also helps children regulate emotions. Check out these top toys for active boys (& girls). 

Disclosure: I was not compensated for this post; however, the plush toys were purchased via another sponsored post.

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A Fun Way To Teach Children to Control Emotions

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #InsideOutEmotions #CollectiveBias

My kids and I loved the Disney/Pixar movie, Inside Out! (Have you read my Inside Out movie review for foster/adoptive parents?)

What makes the Inside Out movie a great tool in parenting is that it gives kids a language to talk about the emotions they are feeling. Getting your children to talk about their emotions can be quite frustrating as a parent.

And now that Wal-Mart has the Inside Out plush characters, a parent can use them as puppets to get children talking about their emotions.

inside-out-control-emotions

How can puppets help children talk about their emotions?

Puppets create a playful environment. Play is safety in a child’s eyes. It’s difficult for a child to be guarded in the midst of play. Using puppets to communicate complicated feelings gives a child a safe way to communicate what’s going on with them. During play, children are more willing to express their feelings.

To a child, talking with a puppet can feel safer than speaking with an adult, which can be quite scary.

Tips on using puppets to communicate emotions:

  • Have the child choose an Inside Out plush toy of an emotion. (Joy, Anger, Sadness, Fear, Disgust) The goal is to have the child become the character and talk as the emotion.
  • Begin with helping the child tell a story as the emotion. — For example, “My name is ANGER and I get really mad when you don’t give me candy for supper.” (Remember that the emotion is speaking to you and not the child)
  • Show empathy. “I understand why you would be angry.”
  • Use open-ended questions in your puppet show to allow the child to lead the discussion.
    • What happened when _____?
    • Why do you feel _____ (the mood of the puppet he has picked)?
    • What did you do when _____?
    • Did that make you feel better?
    • How do you think that made someone else feel?
    • What else could you do?
    • How would that make you feel?
  • Point out that it is okay to have emotions, even if it feels uncomfortable.
  • Help your child realize that emotions can affect what he does, BUT that he has choices about how to act when having that emotion.
  • Explain that if he doesn’t like what he is feeling, he can do something — like talking to someone about how he feels.
  • At the end of each story, discuss with your child ways to cope with each feeling. “When you’re feeling mad, you can take three deeps breaths.” “When feel you sad, it’s okay to cry.“

Also, here’s a song about emotions you can teach your children ways to control emotions.

If you’re JOYful and you know it – Laugh out loud
If you’re ANGRY and you know it – Breathe in deep
If you’re SAD and you know it – You can cry
If you’re SCARED and you know it – Hug your dad

You can find the Inside Out plush characters at WalMart for only $8.88 each.

inside-out-toys-walmart

Just go to the Toys section of the store

inside-out-plush-toys

But, remember, the emotion of Sadness can show up anywhere unexpectedly!!! Even in the toy aisle! (He wanted one of these toys for active boys.)

inside-out-crying-boy-walmart

inside-out-control-emotions-pin

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Parenting Using The Whole Brain Child – Book Review

Have you read THE WHOLE BRAIN CHILD: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind?

This best-selling parenting book by psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel and psychotherapist Dr. Tina Bryson has excellent advice on parenting that is based on the science of the brain.  The authors teach 12 parenting techniques that can help children deal with fears and frustrations by applying the latest research on brain development.

This book is an excellent resource to help parents understand how your child’s brain handles emotions and experiences; and gives you techniques to use as a parent to help your child make sense of their experiences.

I highly recommend this book, but I do give you a warning my video review.

Click here to view this Parenting with The Whole Brain Child video through YouTube

Purchase THE WHOLE BRAIN CHILD: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind {Amazon affiliate link}

Here are some posts that I’ve written about the strategies from The Whole Brain Child:

NAME IT TO TAME IT: How to tell stories to calm big emotions

FAMILY BONDING: Increase the family fun factor

Be sure & subscribe to my YouTube channel!

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Great Novel about Abandonment, Trauma and Not Giving Up

I read a fantastic novel, When I Found You, by Catherine Ryan Hyde.  The Kindle book is only $1.99.

Here’s the video of my review!

Here’s the direct link to YouTube.

BOOK DESCRIPTION:
While duck hunting one morning, childless, middle-aged Nathan McCann finds a newborn abandoned in the woods. To his shock, the child—wrapped in a sweater and wearing a tiny knitted hat—is still alive. To his wife’s shock, Nathan wants to adopt the boy…but the child’s grandmother steps in. Nathan makes her promise, however, that one day she’ll bring the boy to meet him so he can reveal that he was the one who rescued him.

Fifteen years later, the widowed Nathan discovers the child abandoned once again—this time at his doorstep. Named Nat, the teenager has grown into a sullen delinquent whose grandmother can no longer tolerate him. Nathan agrees to care for Nat, and the two engage in a battle of wills that spans years. Still, the older man repeatedly assures the youngster that, unlike the rest of the world, he will never abandon him—not even when Nat suffers a trauma that changes both of their lives forever.

GIVEAWAY:
I loved the book so much that I contacted the author to see if she would be willing to giveaway an autographed copy to you & she said YES!!! To enter, just leave a comment below on why you’d like to read this book. For another entry, subscribe to my YouTube channel & leave another comment below with your user name.

Great book for your reading list! Abandonment, trauma and never giving up on loving a kid.

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Must Read: Former Foster Kid Jimmy Wayne’s Biography

Country music artist, Jimmy Wayne, has been a strong advocate for youth aging out of foster care — because he was one of them.  In Jimmy Wayne’s biography, WALK TO BEAUTIFUL: The Power of Love and a Homeless Kid Who Found the Way, he details his chaotic childhood of abandonment, homelessness, and juvenile delinquency.

jimmywayne-quote-where-youre-going

As a young child, he witnessed more than many adults, including a horrific brutal attack of a man he knew.  What was interesting to me in reading Jimmy Wayne’s biography was that as he described his experiences, I was able to see his fear response consistently in his childhood.

It takes a special person to be a foster parent. #quote

As time went on in his chaotic upbringing, his survival tactics changed somewhat because they had to. He was making grown-up survival decisions at such a young age. Although he had stolen occasionally so he and his sister could eat, Jimmy knew he couldn’t rely on the adults in his life to meet his needs, and he began making money on his own anyway he could — thus, developing a work ethic that would change his life.

At age 13, he was abandoned by his mother at a bus station in Florida in the middle of the night and told to find his way home.  By the time he was placed into the foster care system, his abandonment issues had caused so much resentment in him that he took to the streets instead of putting any type of trust into a foster family.

Accept and try to understand where your foster child is coming from. Jimmy Wayne #fostercare #quote

Throughout Jimmy Wayne’s biography, he amazed me at how he used his self-reliance and resourcefulness while he was homeless. He survived by finding odd jobs to buy food — but when he knocked on the door of an elderly couple and asked to mow their lawn — his life changed forever.  Jimmy eventually moved in with Russell and Bea Costner and the rest is history…

See what else I have to say about Jimmy Wayne’s biography

Link to my YouTube video review on Jimmy Wayne’s biography.

Read Jimmy Wayne’s biography, WALK TO BEAUTIFUL

You can't try on a kid. Jimmy Wayne #quote #fostercare #adoption

FTC Disclosure: The links in this post are affiliate links to Amazon, which means when you click on a link and purchase, I receive a very small commission (at no additional cost to you). Amazon then gives that commission to me as an Amazon gift card so I can purchase from Amazon. See how nicely that works for Amazon?

It's not where youve been! Great inspirational quote on letting go of the past by Jimmy Wayne.

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VIDEO: The Surprise Results of My Cancer Biopsy

A few weeks ago, I underwent major surgery for ovarian cancer biopsy. Beforehand, I just didn’t comprehend just how painful my recovery would be, so I was surprised when I awoke from surgery in excruciating pain from my rib cage down to the middle of my thighs.

On top of this, due to my adverse reaction to pain medications, I had an extended hospital stay until the pain was manageable. UG!

But the biggest surprise was when I received the cancer biopsy results…

Cancer is a word, not a sentence!

Cancer-biopsy-word

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Video: Being a Homeschool Stepmom and Finding Child’s Talents

This is my story of becoming a stepmother and how my role quickly changed and expanded. With an ADHD label, public school was torture for my stepson, and our family saw numerous advantages of homeschool. Through our homeschooling, we discovered this boy had an unknown musical talent. Here is a video of my story that shows my stepson playing Beethoven’s Fur Elise on the piano.

You can also watch this video on YouTube.

Do your children have a label to overcome? What are their talents and gifts?

I’m Clever

Sway