Foster2Forever

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Foster Children Are Eligible for WIC

This month, FosterDad took our foster baby, Lil Bit, to the WIC (Women, Infants and Children) office that provides nutritional foods for children under the age of 5.  Foster children are automatically eligible for WIC. 

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Our foster baby’s mother was still receiving these benefits for Lil Bit even though she did not have him in her care.  We didn’t believe that this was right, so we called our state’s WIC program toll-free number to set up an appointment with the local WIC office to transfer the baby’s benefits.

The local WIC intake person stated that you MUST bring the child to the appointment, along with documentation that the child is in foster care.  FosterDad spent a long afternoon in the waiting room of the WIC office to make it through the cattle-call process with a fussy baby.  However, in the end, Lil Bit did receive EIGHT cans of formula. Since he is lactose-intolerant, his formula costs $15 a can – so it was probably worth the ordeal.

This month, I took off an afternoon from work to take the baby back to his followup WIC appointment.  As I was waiting, I counted 13 adults and 17 infants/children in a 280 square-foot waiting area. (yes, I was so bored that I calculated the square footage using the ceiling tiles) I was there 2 hours with a fussy baby. It sucked! (At one point, a worker expressed to me her frustration of the kids running around. I wanted to respond to her, my frustration of being required to bring my child.)

However, the benefits Lil Bit did receive was helpful. They took a blood sample and discovered his iron was a bit low. He is being weaned and so there is no more formula, but other foods, like bread, 3 gallons of lactose-free milk, a dozen eggs, a pound of cheese, and other nutritional foods are now on his program.

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We don’t have to bring him back for another 6 months, and that will probably be the end of Lil Bit’s government handout.

Have any of you foster parents gone through this process for the little ones in your care? What are your experiences?

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BLONDIE

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters

OUR FOSTER BABY WITH US….

Lil Bit has been sick with an ear infection this week.
Fever.
Not sleeping (any of us).
He has now learned how to gag himself when we give him medicine. yuk!

{Last night, we sent in our revised laundry list of potential birth family contact} Thanks for all your prayers and support during this journey!

MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND…
This week was his birthday, and we spent his special day at the health care clinic. He didn’t get a nice lunch or dinner or cake or even his presents. Poor boy, we’ll have to make it up to him.
Have you ever had a birthday that totally sucked???
[I celebrated my 25th birthday on a Greyhound bus broke down in Eunice, Louisiana during a winter storm. Top that!] 

OUR FOSTER GIRL THAT LEFT….

Meet Blondie!

  • Arrived June 2009 at nearly 2 years old
  • sweet and shy at first
  • serious attachment issues with excessive clingyness
  • aversion to men (including my hubby)
  • incessant whiner
  • prone to night terrors
  • extremely competitive with Stinkpot
  • extremely intelligent (possibly gifted)
  • loved water, shopping, and all things girlie
  • in October 2009, left the biggest hole in my heart when she went to live with a relative!!!
  • I still miss her!
I entered this photo in this week’s I Heart Faces challenge – click the badge for more “Shades” photos!
But I did want to also show you this photo of Stinkpot and Blondie together since it’s so CUTE!

If you still waiting to hear the next chapter of our love story, my hubby is writing the next part from his point of view – and he won’t let me see it!  I’ll post as soon as he finishes it…

Y’all have a great week!

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ABOUT US

Look it’s a blog hop!

Howdy, y’all!

I’m a mid-40s first time mom! Yep! A late bloomer at its best! You see, I was a single girl in the big city of Houston, Texas all through the 1990s +. Then in 2004, my life changed drastically forever through a whirlwind romance and marriage!

I moved from a city of 4 million to a town of 1,400 and began trying to conceive at age 40. In less than 2 years, our fertility doctor told us that all my eggs were gone and should realistically look at adopting a child.

We began the process to become foster parents in Jan 2007 hoping to adopt through our state’s foster care program. After a move back to our hometown and struggles with state licensing staff, we officially became foster parents to Stinkpot on March 4, 2008 and adopted him over a year later on my husband’s 50th birthday in August 2009.

Through this journey, we have been foster parents to 4 girls (age 2-12), having to say goodbye and wonder how they are doing.

We currently have a 1-year-old baby boy (Lil Bit) that we foster and would like to eventually adopt: however, his case is a MESS!

On this blog, I share our struggles and joys of being foster parents and eventually becoming a forever family!

I hope you enjoy our adventures in foster care! Hold on because it can be a crazy ride!

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FOSTER BABY AND OTHER MISCELLANEOUS THINGS

The hardest part of adopting through foster care is the uncertainty of a final adoption.

Our 10-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit, was placed in our home after a violent dispute between the mother and her grandmother, last December. The mother had had her parental rights terminated with her 5 previous children which were not placed with relatives. We were told the baby would be ours for adoption. (oops!)

This case has been a complete mess and $6,000 in legal fees later – Lil Bit is still with us until a custody hearing in late September. You can read the history HERE.

We had a permanency meeting last month to discuss the forever plan for Lil Bit and his mother’s progress for reunification.  When a child is first removed, the parents and the State draw up a permanency plan checklist that lays out all the individual steps a parent must do in order to be reunified with their child(ren). Items include things as routine (for the normal responsible population) as getting (and keeping) a job or income and finding a place to live independently.  Other things include drug testing, anger management classes, parenting classes, first aid training, and individual or group counseling.

In the meeting, Lil Bit’s mentally-challenged birth mother showed that she is working hard to complete everything on the permanency plan checklist to get back custody of her baby. She had completed all the training and is now receiving SSI and will be moving into government housing soon. She has purchased a baby bed and high chair for Lil Bit, fully anticipating his return.

This is the saddest part! After all of her hard work, in this meeting, a State worker looked the birth mother in the face and told her,

“We do not believe that you have the mental capacity to care for the baby by yourself.
The current plan for permanency for this baby is adoption.“

I felt so horrible for this mother. She really has no clue and neither does her mother.

The State’s current plan is adoption by the baby’s great-aunt.  The birth mother and grandmother oppose this adoption and stated in the meeting that they want us to adopt Lil Bit instead of their family.  They stated that the uncle is a weekend disc jockey and there is a lot of alcohol consumption in the home. “They like to party.” The State did acknowledge that they did need to “check out some things” in regard to their home study.

The CASA stated that another court hearing will occur before our original September 22nd custody hearing. We believe that the State will be seeking to terminate the birth mother’s parental rights before September, but we do not know.

The good news is that Lil Bit will stay with us in the meantime. More time to be a true blessing in our home!

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I just heard that everything is fine for the licensing of our home for the 18-year-old with Asperger’s Syndrome.  We still haven’t heard from his case worker and are assuming they found a home for him.

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Yesterday, our 3-year-old Stinkpot, was very upset with us for not taking him with us to “Big Church” after Sunday School.  So last night, we took him with us to Sunday evening worship since there wasn’t any childcare that night.  He did GREAT, sitting up in his chair, paying close attention – UNTIL – the singing stopped.  Then continually, loudly whining politely asking to go to “his class”.

So he and I went outside to the church playground, split a Wendy’s Apple Pecan Chicken Salad, and enjoyed a special “Mommy and Me” picnic!

Mommy and Me Monday at Really, Are You Serious? Hosted by Krystyn
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Remember to enter this month’s GIVEAWAY! Foster2Forever is giving away an autographed copy of Spoken from the Heart signed by Laura Bush, the former First Lady herself!

Remember to enter a comment, if you are already a follower or subscriber!

Have a great week!

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IS IT ABUSE-YOUR-CHILD MONTH?

Can you believe that within a month, we have received calls for placement of EIGHT children?

The first child was a 3-month-old baby girl with blond hair and blue eyes. Mom had had parental rights removed from previous children, but was doing okay with this one. Then just one day, skips town, leaving the baby with a relative (who is married to a sex offender).  The State was going to move forward with termination and placing the baby for adoption. However, the State wouldn’t place another child with us while our 12-year-old foster girl was still in the home since she had been rough with our 2-year-old, Stinkpot.  By the time she moved, the baby had been placed in another home.

The second call was for an 18-year-old boy with Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of autism. This would be a temporary placement until he left for training in August.  Since my husband is a Special Education teacher and his son has Asperger’s, the case worker was hoping to place him with us. We have yet to hear back on whether he will be coming here or if another home has been found.

Then, we received a call regarding 3 and 5-year-old brothers. Can you imagine our home? I would be as bald as my husband chasing boys around!  However, these boys were for foster only, and we thought it would be best to leave our home open to children that may eventually be available for adoption.

The last call was last Friday morning before we left to go out-of-town. It was for a sibling group of FOUR. However, the State was going to split the sibling group and was asking us to care for a 2-year-old girl and 3-year-old boy. Sadly, there was a baby that had been born in September and just released from the hospital for FAILURE TO THRIVE, and the State wanted to place her with a stay-at-home mom. Since the goal for the children was reunification with the parent, I explained that we were looking more for legal risk children that might become available for adoption. When I told the case worker this, she seemed pleasantly surprised.

So here we are! Currently, still a family of 4! But who knows when that will change?

Remember to enter this month’s GIVEAWAY! Foster2Forever is giving away an autographed copy of Spoken from the Heart signed by Laura Bush, the former First Lady herself! (I had to stand in line for over an hour for this!)

Remember to enter a comment, if you are a follower or subscriber!

Have a great weekend with your family, however, large or small!

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First Blogiversary, a Makeover and Custody Update

TODAY IS THE FIRST BLOGIVERSARY OF THE FOSTER2FOREVER BLOG!

I began this little blog last year to share stories and pictures to our family and friends. But as time went on, to my surprise, friends began asking more and more questions about our experience as foster parents. They wanted to know the “real stories” of foster parenting.  That is how this blog morphed from just a family blog to Foster2Forever.

BLOG MAKEOVER

In celebration of the blogiversary, the blog received a makeover! With the help of Amber from Stolen Moments Design, Foster2Forever has a new look! (But it is still a work in progress) What do you think?  You can check out Amber’s designs in the ScrapMatters store for your custom blog wear design.

Plus, Foster2Forever now has a Facebook page! Check out the a badge on the right side bar. Now, you can just click on the badge and “like” Foster2Forever on Facebook. How cool is that?

CUSTODY UPDATE ON OUR FOSTER BABY

Some of you have been asking about last week’s permanency meeting in the custody struggle with Lil Bit, our 10-month-old foster baby. Here’s the Reader’s Digest version: It was an informal, casual, routine status meeting. The mentally-challenged birth mother showed that she is working hard to do everything on the permanency plan checklist to get back custody of Lil Bit. The State does not believe that she can care for Lil Bit by herself. The current plan for Lil Bit is relative adoption. The birth mother and grandmother oppose relative adoption and support us adopting Lil Bit. Another court hearing will occur before September 22nd. Lil Bit will stay with us in the meantime. I will post more details next week!

LAURA BUSH BOOK REVIEW

I finally read my autographed copy of Spoken from the Heart signed by Laura Bush, the former First Lady herself! (I had to stand in line for over an hour for this!)

I was fascinated to discover that, like me, by marrying later in life, she and George had struggled to conceive. They even had an application for adoption at the Gladney Center, when they discovered Laura was pregnant with the twins. (unlike me).

This is what other blogs are saying about Spoken from the Heart:

Susan from Thoughts from Over the Rainbow:
“I was moved by how poignantly she describes her heartache when she was unable to conceive in early marriage. She says that there is no word in the English language to mourn absence. She says, “For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like a silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that was never held?”.”

Laura Gerold from Laura’s Reviews: 
“Laura Bush writes the story of her life starting from the very beginning and through the move back to Texas after the end of George Bush’s presidency. I found her entire story intriguing, and was a great modern history. The book seemed to show me what I had always thought; Laura Bush is the kind of person I would like to sit down with for dinner and chat with.”

Have you read Laura Bush’s book?

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PERMANENCY FOR OUR FOSTER BABY

Wednesday is a big day! We have been invited to the permanency conference for our 10-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit.  A permanency conference is a meeting that the State holds to discuss a plan for permanency for a foster child with the involved parties.

The first permanency conference is held when a child is first removed, where the plan for permanent placement is almost always reunification with the parents. In this meeting, everything the parent has to do to be reunited with their children is discussed with all the tasks spelled out for them.

Another is held later, especially if the parent has not complied with the permanency plan. My husband and I showed up for one with another foster child, where the case worker didn’t think we should attend and sent us on our way since the State was going to discuss terminating the mother’s parental rights. (She had disappeared for a month and a half on a drug binge)

Remember, our strange day in court last month, where we showed up expecting a hearing on whether or not the baby stays with us or moves to his great-aunt’s home? With the CASA and baby’s ad litem attorney pushing for a familial placement with the great-aunt, we were preparing to pack the baby’s things and say good-bye. We were shocked when the recommendation from the State and CASA was for the baby to remain with us until another hearing in September!

However, last week, through our attorney, I received the status report from the State on this case. The State is moving for terminating the mother’s parental rights!  We had no idea!  The mother is mentally-challenged and recently moved back in with her abusive grandmother. She has lived in 4 places in 6 months.

Another important thing we learned from the status report is that there is a cousin wanting custody of Lil Bit.

A list of those in line for Lil Bit:

  • Lil Bit’s great-aunt – barely passed home study due to previous investigations, but State and others are recommending this familial placement for Lil Bit
  • US – foster parents for most of the 10 months of Lil Bit’s life
  • The Cons – has Lil Bit’s 5 other siblings and is collecting a disability check on ALL of them (actually told State investigator that they would get Lil Bit by buying the mother “a shiny, new cell phone”)
  • AND NOW, A COUSIN HAS COME OUT OF THE WOOD WORK!!!
Where were these family members with the last 5 children the mother lost custody of ?
Please say a quick prayer for us Wednesday morning!
“And we know that all things God work together for good to those who love God” – Romans 8:28
Here’s a picture I recently took of our Lil Bit with my 12-year-old puppy that suffers from ADHD/OCD.
Check out the other pet photos at iheartfaces.

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FOSTER BABY 9 , I mean, 10 MONTHS OLD TODAY!

Lil Bit is 9 10 months old today!  But we may have to rename Lil Bit to Lil Chunk. He weighs nearly 23 pounds! Our nearly 3-year-old, Stinkpot, weighs only 29 pounds. He is 9 10 months old today and most of his 12-month clothes are too small!  He only wore these 12-month clothes for 1 month! I guess I’ll get up into the attic next weekend…

Did any of your kids grow this fast???

Update on Lil Bit’s case — We received a notice for a permanency conference in 2 weeks. We have no idea what this is about. Our guess is maybe the State is moving toward terminating the mother’s rights, or it could be that the State wants to discuss how to protect Lil Bit if he is moved to his great-aunt’s home.  We received a notice of discovery from the mother’s attorney so it might be the former.

Lil Bit’s new case worker will return to the office on Monday so we will invite her to visit our home so that we can meet her and possibly learn more about the status.

Y’all have a great weekend with your family!
Hugs!
p.s. I had to correct the blog this morning, as my wonderful husband so gently reminded me that Lil Bit is 10 months old today and not 9 months old as I had previously posted…you know, I am an Aggie.

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HOW TO BE THANKFUL WHEN A FOSTER CHILD MOVES

“Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.” James 1:27 Our hectic life has caused a lot of stress lately. Also, the behaviors of our 12-year-old foster girl have taken its toll on us. She has taken things and we have caught her time and again in lies. She cannot handle discipline, and the consequences of her actions can send her into an emotional meltdown. She recently ran away after being grounded (on an evening I was out of town) and my husband had to call the police. She realizes now that decision was a mistake.

However, we’ve begun to notice that she has been bullying our 2-year-old little boy. She always does it in another room where we can’t see, but Stinkpot will come out of his room crying that “She hit me”. We’ve never actually witnessed it, but it happens at least once on most days. When I discovered that she had a history of being rough with little kids, my husband and I decided that a move might be best for her and us as a family.
After talking with our foster home worker, she agreed that a move would be best and now our foster girl will be moved this morning. My emotions run from partial relief to guilt to sadness. Because the new home is a potential adoptive home, she is taking it quite well.

So on this Thursday, I’m thankful that:

  • We were able to provide a stable home for her after a failed adoption
  • A more suitable foster home has been found for her with no little kids and in the country to deter her from running away
  • This new foster home may lead to a forever home for a girl abandoned by her mother
Please pray for all of us this week during this transition!

I’m Clever

Sway