Foster2Forever

by

UPDATE ON LIL BIT (Part 3) – ANOTHER DAY IN COURT

This morning we went to court again for a placement hearing on our 6-month-old foster baby that we have nicknamed Lil Bit.

Our day in court began at 9am; however, with a full docket, our case was, of course, heard LAST after the 5 other cases (one was from 2001)!

Tic tock, tic tock…
More attorney fees.
In fact, we actually had TWO attorneys representing us in court today!

When our case finally was called, it was after 11am.
TWO hours of attorney fees to listen to other cases!

First, the mother’s attorney called up the foster dad that has 5 of the mother’s other children. (The mother wants Lil Bit with her other children.)

The baby’s ad litem attorney jumped up adamantly objecting.
“He has no standing!”
“No relevance now!”
“He hasn’t even met the child!”

The judge said he would briefly allow this testimony. This testimony was mainly regarding how he currently cares for the mother’s other children.

Then the cross-fire, I mean, cross-examination from the baby’s ad litem attorney shot out. She asked some very tough questions.

“If the other children are failing in school, how can you care for another child?” He wasn’t able to answer the question.

“The last home study completed when you adopted the mother’s last child stated that you were to not have any more children in your home, correct?”

The CPS caseworker was the next witness. The CPS attorney and the baby’s ad litem attorney focused on how Lil Bit should be with his great-aunt. Our attorneys focused questions so that she would say that Lil Bit would be safest with us.

Then the baby’s ad litem attorney called Lil Bit’s mother onto the stand. She began by asking detailed questions about her relationship with the father, where she conceived the baby, when the father moved to Mexico, when she moved to Mexico, when and where she gave birth to Lil Bit.

(Later, our attorney told us that those questions were to confirm that the U.S. and Texas have jurisdiction over Lil Bit’s case and not Mexico where he was born.)

Then I was called to testify on the stand. I was so nervous, nearly to tears. So much on the line here. Our attorney asked me questions to reiterate to the court that Lil Bit would be safest in our home, since we have no contact with the violent members of his birth family.

Leave it to me that when he asked me questions in the negative like attorneys sometimes do, I messed up my answer & he would have to repeat it & I would have to correct myself.
(All these expensive meetings & he didn’t prepare me for THAT!)

No other attorneys questioned me (another good sign).

My husband testified so diplomatically when asked who the baby preferred. “When both of us are in the room, the baby prefers my wife!” (His calm diplomacy is one of the characteristics that drew me to marry him.)

To our advantage today, the great-aunt wasn’t in court to testify. It was optimistically believed that CPS didn’t inform her of the new court date since it had been postponed twice.

The judge ordered a brief recess to review the great-aunt’s home study and call the attorneys into his chambers.

The judge then issued his ruling…
THE BABY WOULD STAY WITH US UNTIL ANOTHER PERMANENCY HEARING ON MAY 25TH!!!!

So – HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!
But by May 25th, Lil Bit will be in our home as a member of our family for 6 months of his 9 months of life! Two-thirds of his life with us!
That will be to our benefit at the next hearing….

A HUGE THANK YOU for all your prayers!

Have a great week cherishing your loved ones!

Hugs to you all!

by

SNOW – An Act of God!

What an AMAZING day of snow in Texas!
Over THREE inches! WOW!

As Texans, we become frozen with enchantment of a winter wonderland.

Schools close.
Businesses close.
Snowmen line our streets.
Snowball fights ensue.

The anomaly of snow here in Texas brings out the kid in all of us!

In Texas, any amount of snow necessitates a winter weather advisory.
But 3 inches of snow in Texas is an Act of God!

An Act of God is a legal term used in contracts & other legal documents to describe events outside of human control, such as storms & natural disasters.

Not that the 3 inches of snow here could ever be described as a disaster,
but it is an Act of God!
A blessing!

And the timing of God’s blessings can show us all that He is in control of EVERYTHING!

Psalm 107:25 – “For He commands & raises the stormy wind,
which lifts up the waves of the sea.”

We were richly blessed by the snow this week, not only for the joy it brought into our lives, but in that our custody hearing for our foster baby was postponed another week!

Another week to enjoy & love this angelic baby as part of our family!
Another week to PRAY!

Isn’t it amazing that God is in complete control of every aspect of our lives?

“And we know that all things God work together for good
to those who love God” – Romans 8:28

Have a great week enjoying the blessings in your life!

Hugs to you!
~penelope

by

UPDATE on Lil Bit…Part 2 (Our Day in Court)

Foster parents usually don’t have “standing” in a custody hearing on foster children unless the child has been in the foster home for at least a year.
[“Standing mean that you have a legal case in court.
If you don’t have standing, your case is dismissed.]
Here we are about to “intervene” in the custodial placement of Lil Bit, our 6-month-old foster baby, into the home of a distant relative. A foster family “intervening” in a family placement is pretty much unheard of in our area.

However, this is an unusual case in that another family also tried to intervene in Lil Bit’s placement with the distant relative. All of Lil Bit’s 5 siblings have previously been adopted by a friend of his birth mother. This family friend also intervened and requested standing in court.

Lil Bit’s birth mother was supporting him going to live with this family and his 5 siblings (along with the many other children in the home)
instead of with her family member.

However, Children Protective Services (CPS), the baby’s ad litem attorney, the Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for the baby, ALL objected to their intervention. Their case for standing was quickly dismissed with these objections and because they had not met Lil Bit.

At this point, there was no objection to our standing in this case.
(WE’RE IN!!!)

Now that the birth mother’s friend wouldn’t get Lil Bit, the mother asked her attorney to meet me. Our attorneys awkwardly agreed. When we were introduced, I gave her pictures I had taken of Lil Bit in the 2 months he had lived with us. Looking through the photos, she wiped away tears from her face. She decided to now support us instead of her family member in this custody hearing. (Strange, isn’t it? Sadly, I believe it demonstrates a deep dysfunction in the family)

Also, in our favor, there was doubt of whether Lil Bit would be able to receive government benefits in the near future since he was born in Mexico. Since we are financially able to provide for him with our income, the CASA and ad litem attorney now supported Lil Bit staying with us.

So now we are in court asking that our foster baby stay in our home and not go live with a distant relative. The baby’s mother, ad litem attorney and CASA all support Lil Bit staying with us.
Then, there is CPS policy…

The CPS policy is, if possible, children are placed with family members –
However, since CPS is the only party not supporting the baby staying with us, they had to call state headquarters to see if they could officially support the baby staying with us. If so, then there would be a consensus of all the parties that Lil Bit stay with us and we could all go home without a hearing.

So there we are in court –
waiting –
tic tock, tic tock –
$4 a minute in attorney fees…

45 minutes later we finally get the official answer from Austin.
CPS policy is always family first.

The judge then granted a continuance and our custody hearing is now set for another day.

Please pray for us – we need strength, courage and faith that “all things work together for good.”

by

UPDATE on Lil Bit…Part 1

My last writing on our now 6-month old foster baby, he was in the hospital with RSV & we were to give him to a relative on the 9th. It has been a whirlwind since!!!

Lil Bit was admitted to the hospital on February 2nd – Groundhog Day, no less – for RSV. My wonderful husband and I took turns staying/spending the night at the hospital. (An adult has to stay with an infant at all times)

Already emotionally & physically exhausted, I received all the legal paperwork discussing Lil Bit, his birth family, & the home study of a family member. Instead of being placed with his 5 siblings & other children, the home study recommended that Lil Bit be placed with his great-aunt. (don’t freak out – she’s younger than us at 33 years young!) As I read the home study & how they already had a room ready for Lil Bit, I began to cry. This baby has a family that loves him & wants him! He has 12-year-old & 7-year-old cousins that are excited about having a baby in their home. Who are we to get in the way of that?

I spent Thursday night in the hospital alone with Lil Bit saying my goodbyes to the little man & sleeping very little. (Can you hear the violins softly playing in the background?)

On Friday morning, my knight in shining armor that I married 5 years ago, comes into the gloomy hospital room & tells me that he wants to meet with our attorney. “I just want to hear what the attorney has to say” were the words he repeated to me.

Later that morning, I received a conference call from the law firm – my husband & TWO attorneys. Some of the things discussed:

  • Great-aunt cannot financially take care of Lil Bit without government assistance;
  • An arrest of great-uncle for violence years ago;
  • Lil Bit has lived with only the mother & us;
  • We have had Lil Bit for 1/3 of his life;
  • We have the financial capability to take care of Lil Bit long term;
  • Final adoption of Lil Bit is uncertain – other family members may be located;
  • This may cost up to $15K in legal fees!

So much to digest in one call & a really tough, expensive decision to make!
I was both excited & shocked when my frugal knight in shining armour told me –
“LET’S GO FOR IT!!!”
….to be continued….
Hugs until then!
~penny

by

YES, IT DOES GET WORSE!

What a week!

I am still very nervous about what going to happen to Lil Bit, our 5-month-old foster baby. His case worker called me last Friday to tell me that they were going to send Lil Bit to the family member that has his other 5 siblings.

Since then, I have spoken with our attorney, and it all comes down to whether we, as foster parents, have standing for a court case. Foster parents can ask a judge to be considered as an option for placement if the child has lived with them for a year. Even though Lil Bit has lived with us less than 2 months – he has lived with us for 20% of his short life. But that doesn’t hold up in court.

We will have to prove that placing Lil Bit with the family member will possibly “endanger or otherwise cause harm” to him. Did I mention that, as I understand it, this family member has 6 children of their own? I know that the State is not recommending this placement; however, the family member does have an attorney & is requesting a sibling placement. I am meeting with our attorney tomorrow.

The worst part of all this is that I took Lil Bit to the doctor on Tuesday because he was getting a cough – and, turns out he has RSV! He was admitted to the hospital & is in isolation! I’m thankful I went ahead and took him before he had gotten worse! He has been doing well in that he is still getting plenty of oxygen; however, he has been fighting a fever & severe congestion.

Please keep Lil Bit and our family in your prayers!

by

THE DOWNSIDE OF BEING A FOSTER PARENT

We have been so blessed as foster parents to have such beautiful, wonderful foster children! It has been “pure joy” to open our home to neglected children. But now comes the hard part – I received a call today that CPS has found a home with a distant relative for our 5-month-old precious baby boy that we’ve been fostering for the last month and a half.

The toughest part emotionally has to be that since CPS did not foresee any family members for this baby, we were asked, “Do you want to keep him?” Anticipating his membership into our family, we have been searching for a name to fit this beautiful dark-haired, blue-eyed baby and had decided on a combination of family names. (Another “J” name for another boy which means God rescues & a middle name to honor my husband’s late uncle that passed away before we started dating)

I don’t blame anyone. I can totally understand why someone would want this beautiful creation. He is so perfect! He only cries when he’s wet or hungry and now only wakes once during the night. Did I mention that he is BEAUTIFUL???

I’m extremely disappointed and have contacted our attorney to see if we have any say at all. Right now I’m feeling quite nervous and have butterflies the size of 737s in my stomach. I know, however, as the impending date of February 9th draws closer, losing this little angel will become more difficult to deal with.

Until then, I must focus on being the best parent I can be for this child and the others in our home.

Romans 8:28 “all things work together for good to those who love God…”

I will keep you posted as more details unfold…

Hugs to you!
-penelope

Read more about our adventures in fostering by clicking the fostering label.

by

My husband LOVED this…..

The other day after work, I dropped by a local camera store for a hands-on look at a camera I’ve been eyeing for a few weeks now. (though I really don’t NEED another camera)

The young salesman was doing a great job of demonstrating the different features of their line of Canon cameras (my favorite). As we were talking, I pulled out my camera to show him a few of my pictures & get some advice on how to improve them.

As I was showing him pictures of our new 4-month-old foster baby that we’re hoping to adopt, he smiled & said, “CUTE GRANDBABY!”

Given that statement, I will NOT be purchasing from him!

Bundle up & have a GREAT weekend with your loved ones!

Hugs to you all!

by

On Becoming a Foster Parent

This has been an exciting few weeks! On Tuesday, December 15th, I received a call from CPS asking if we would accept a 4-month-old baby boy to foster. Of course, I said, “YES!” I picked him up an hour later. He is so beautiful & such a good baby! I AM SO BLESSED!

Because the child’s mother has had numerous children removed before & has already had her parental rights terminated, he will be eligible for adoption after all the legal stuff has been completed.

I’ve had a number of people asking me about foster parenting & how difficult the process is. It actually isn’t that difficult to become a foster parent. Our licensing was more complex because we were in the middle of moving to a different county during the process, but overall, the process wasn’t too bad. We are licensed through our state agency as both a foster & adoptive home.

  • The first step is to attend an informational meeting. There are a number being held Tuesday, January 12th in the evening in Houston, Austin, Bryan & Waco. Check HERE for details. This is very informal, but for some reason, attending this meeting is required before moving forward in the process.
  • Next, you would attend a 35-hour parent education training, called PRIDE (short for Parent Resource Information Development Education). Our classes met twice a week for a few hours each evening. Before each class, we had to bring “homework”, which actually were documents required for our homestudy, such as identification, family profile/background form, home layout, desired children profile form, & scheduling FBI fingerprinting, etc. This helped keep the documentation process less cumbersome.
  • You will also need CPR/First Aid training, a home fire inspection (local fire dept) & a home health inspection. (We completed our CPR training at our jobs.)
  • Lastly, a home study will be conducted by a caseworker that will come to your home and interview everyone in the home. For us, scheduling the caseworker took the longest because we lived in a rural county 40 minutes from Bryan. When she finally came, we had already closed on our house & were in the process of moving. We had already boxed up a lot, given away our sofa & had to sit in the dining room for the interviews.

The cost of becoming licensed with the state agency has been minimal with the FBI fingerprinting costing around $50 per person. [Anyone over the age of 18 living in the home will have to be fingerprinted. My stepson will have to be fingerprinted SOON!] We also had to purchase a fire extinguisher for the home.

I hope this post gives you the information you need. If you are remotely interested, I encourage you to attend the informational meeting next week.

James 1:27 says that we are to reach out to orphans & widows in their distress.

Let me know if there’s anything else you’d like to know!

God bless & hugs to you all!
~penelope

I’m Clever

Sway