Actress Nia Vardalos shot to stardom with her breakout movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, but at the time, she was secretly struggling with infertility. She eventually adopted her daughter through the foster care system and this is what she has to say about it and her book, Instant Mom.
Chat with Foster Parent Nia Vardalos on Wednesday
Writer and star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Nia Vardalos firmly believed she was supposed to be a mom, but Mother Nature and modern medicine had put her in a headlock. So she made a choice that shocked friends, family, and even herself: with only fourteen hours’ notice, she became an instant mom to a preschooler through foster care.
Instant Mom is Nia’s hilarious and poignant true chronicle of her attempts to become a mother. With her signature wit and candor, she describes her and husband Ian Gomez’s bumpy road to parenting, how they found their daughter, and what happened next. Nia includes a comprehensive how-to-adopt section and explores innovative ways to conquer the challenges all new moms face, from sleep to personal grooming. She learns that whether via biology, relationship, or adoption—motherhood comes in many forms. Some families are created in different ways but are still, in every way, a family.
You can also view the trailer for Nia’s book, Instant Mom, here.
LIVE CHAT WITH NIA VARDALOS ON WEDNESDAY
This Wednesday, February 13th at 2pm EST/11am PST, you can live chat with Nia about her book on Twitter. Just follow @NiaVardalos and the #InstantMom hashtag.
You can win an autographed copy of Instant Mom by tweeting your questions for Nia in advance to @HarperOne with the #InstantMom hashtag. [Official Rules]
You can pre-purchase Instant Mom (due out April 2nd) via: AMAZON, BARNES & NOBLE, BOOKS-A-MILLION, or IBOOKSTORE!
Do you “tweet”? Will you be joining us on Wednesday? Add your Twitter handle below!
New Foster Care Placements: Will It Work for Your Family?
Day: Sunday
Time: 7:30 p.m.
Location: Our Church
It happened again! I hadn’t seen THIS in nearly a year. And I was not prepared. (If you follow on Twitter, you know.)
Our kids were enjoying their Sunday night Awanas program. At the end of the evening, I went to pick up 3- year-old Lil Bit, as my husband went to pick up 5-year-old Stinkpot. After waiting for over 5 minutes in the atrium with Lil Bit, my husband came from the stairwell alone. The look on his face told me that our strong-willed Stinkpot was refusing to leave.
As I stood up to meet him, a loud roar rumbled through the atrium. The echo making it more powerful.
And as quick as that, my Stinkpot comes running from the stairwell, his face flushed a bright red, teeth clinched and flashing anger. He charged at my husband, fists flying, with a fierceness that was as if an evil force had taken control of my little boy.
I quickly interceded, so my husband could make a quick escape with our Lil Bit. Our hope was that I could calm him. Nothing was working. My face was punched and scratched. He was possessed by his Reactive Attachment Disorder. The sound coming from my little boy’s throat was a frightening growl.
All this time, parents are leaving the atrium, attempting to shield their children from what they were witnessing.
Our Stinkpot finally calmed down. But we are exhausted!
We will do all we can to help our little boy overcome his demons! We know our God is powerful, and we are seeking His wisdom for healing.
On the other hand, an 8-month-old baby girl needs a forever family. This baby girl is my deceased cousin’s great-grandchild, so my relatives are requesting that this baby be placed with us as a kinship placement. How can we add another child to this chaos?
Please pray for us as we make these important, life-changing decisions!
Have had to you turn down a foster care placement?
Why Race Matters
Dr. Martin Luther King had a dream. Transracial adoption is truly his dream realized – full integration. Whites adopting black children to become forever members of their families. As divided as our nation was at the time, could transracial adoption been fathomed in his dream?
This weekend, we attended a foster parent training entitled “Healthy Racial & Ethnic Identity.” Race, as our instructor told us, is the white elephant in the room. Her words to us were: “Race matters.”
As an African-American mother of a gifted & talented African-American son, our presenter spoke openly about the reality of how race matters to our children, even today.
Teen filmmaker, Kiri Davis, explores the message that society gives African-American children in her video – A Girl Like Me.
Halfway into the 7 minute film, she shows African-American preschoolers 2 baby dolls, identical except for skin color. Watch what happens when she asks: “Which is the bad doll?”
I can’t help but tear up when she asks the little girl why. “Because she’s black.”
Julian Abagond writes more about the Brown vs. Board of Education doll experiment.
Another heartbreaking point in the film is the African-American teen who began wearing her hair natural, then her own mother tells her that her hair looks too African. What?
Another good film about the importance of race and ethnicity, produced by the Casey Family Services, is Knowing Who You Are, where former foster children and birthfamilies openly discuss integration.
Skin color may not mean anything to you. You may truly be “color-blind;” however, at some point in our children’s lives, someone will point out their differences to them, as they try to fit in. Skin color is just one of those external factors. We can’t ignore it.
Honestly, can your African-American son safely go for a walk in your neighborhood at night? Or could he end up as Trayvon Martin, the African-American teenager shot in Florida last February by a neighborhood watch coordinator?
Our speaker even asked a friend that is an officer with the Austin Police Department about what route her African-American 16-year-old son should drive to school. His words to her: “Take the interstate – your son will get stopped by the police if he drives through the neighborhood!”
The takeaway of the training was that race matters in society and as parents you have to be aware of that.
- Realize that, at some point, your child will probably be stereotyped according to their race;
- Give your child proactive and protective messages about their individual abilities and identity;
- Help your child identify themselves as something other than race (“I am a girl who enjoys reading vampire novels”)
What issues or controversies have you encountered with transracial adoption?
Did You Read These Most Popular Posts of 2012?
2012 was a fabulous year for our family! An entire year with our Lil Bit being officially our son!!! This little blog had a good year too with a number of posts that had great dialog – also some were quite a bit controversial! Here are the Top 12 of 2012:
#1. Easy DIY Disney Mickey and Minnie Mouse Costumes
When I had my “twin” 2-year-olds, I planned Halloween costumes as Mickey and Minnie Mouse. However, my Blondie moved to live with an aunt just 3 days before Halloween. I had to scramble to become Minnie for my little Mickey. This post was on the first page of Google search for DIY Minnie Mouse costume.
#2. Adding Foster Children to Your Family: How Will Your Kids Take It?
This popular post was written by a teenager with foster siblings and gives her personal view of how bringing children from hard places into her life at such a young age affected her. A MUST-READ for potential foster parents with other kids!!!
#3. Did She Drink When She Was Pregnant?
This post discusses Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD), the first signs, physical features, and the sensory issues attributed to FASD.
#4. Why Does My Child Act Like This? Could It Be RAD?
Another informative post about Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). My Stinkpot has been diagnosed with RAD. The most difficult issue with diagnosing RAD is that it has many overlapping characteristics of 9 other mental health diagnoses in children.
#5. Why We Fought To Keep Our Foster Child
What a controversy that this post caused with a group of birth mothers fighting the foster care system!
#6. Free Online Foster Care Training!
In the state of Texas, you can receive 2 hours of training for your foster home license with this online course on psychotropic medications. Will your state accept this course?
Another controversial post regarding relationships between birthfamilies and foster parents. The comments from the birthfamily community are just ridiculous.
#8. My Struggle with Parenting a Difficult Child
Remember this controversial cover photo on Time Magazine? Here I share my struggle with how to parent my neglected child.
#9. Do You Celebrate Your Adopted Child’s Culture?
We did not celebrate Cinco De Mayo with our Mexican child. Some commentators think we are doing wrong for our child.
#10. Lil Bit’s Baby Brother – Isn’t He More than Just a Check?
We received a placement call for Lil Bit’s newborn brother born a week before our adoption. Here’s an update about how this baby is caught up in another crazy custody battle.
#11. You Can Tell He Isn’t Your Child
Yes, this is what a CASA worker actually said to me!
#12. Titties!
With that title I should have known! Since that title was the #11 searched term on this blog, I realize I have a number of elementary schoolboys that “read” this blog. haha! This post is actually about teaching our foster children appropriate words and behavior.
Which blog post was your favorite this year?
What Do Foster Parents Say About the Sandy Hook Shooting
Rebecca Hawkes of Love is Not a Pie in Helping Our Children Cope With the Sandy Hook Tragedy:
If you are parenting a child, as I am, who came to you by way of the foster care system, your child may be needing extra support around recent events, but really all children are likely to need some parental guidance as they attempt to make sense of something that is beyond comprehension, even for most grownups.
Kelly of Monkey Soup in Buzzers and Cameras wrote:
There are people who do bad things sometimes. They may be sick, they may be mad or upset about something. They may hurt people. Momma, Daddy and the grown-ups that are around you will do everything in our power to keep anything from happening to you, and to keep you safe.
Denise of Fostering a Blessing in Hits Home wrote:
Before foster care I NEVER knew this world of childhood mental illness existed. Let’s talk about it. Let’s help these kids. Locking them up…NOT THE ANSWER.
Momma of Called to Foster in Mental Illness: Conversation – Resources – Guidance wrote:
As a child raised by a mentally ill mother, you would think I would fully understand the depths of that reality but I suppose I’m still drifting around somewhere not fully grasping the truth of it all. Hoping that it would never become my reality again.
Cherub Mamma in Mr. Mini Wonky???? wrote:
I guess I put this out there to show what it looks like in OUR house. We don’t have to make trips to psychiatric hospitals. We don’t have three hour violent rages that involve restraints. But it isn’t easy all the time. There’s a lot of anger and frustration. There’s a lot of hurt. There’s a lot of ugly that most folks wouldn’t understand.
Do Your Christmas Cards Include Your Foster Children?
Do you send Christmas cards? Many years I have and some years I havent’. One year (while fostering Stinkpot), I actually sent out a newsletter – now that was work!! Now with Facebook, I think it’s becoming a bit old school to send out actual printed cards.
I sent out cards in 2007, a newsletter in 2008, nothing in 2009, a printed calendar in 2010.
However, last year I sent out this card after we adopted our foster son, Lil Bit!
This is the card I sent this year using photos from a summer photo session. I had the cards done in October!!!
We’ve never sent Christmas cards with our foster kids on them. It was just the timing of when the kids were in our home. Only Stinkpot & Lil Bit were the only foster children in our home during Christmas time.
Do you send Christmas cards? Are your foster children on them?
How Interactive Storybooks Can Help Foster Children
Christmas is a special time of year when giving, love & memories take center stage. But Christmas can be an especially tough time of year for foster children. Away from family members and Christmas as they know it, foster children may miss their loved ones even more than ever. But what if they could hear a familiar voice anytime they missed someone.
Here’s the answer: Interactive storybooks from Hallmark to help “Bring the Holidays to Life” for foster children!
· Interactive Story Buddies: My kids just love these Interactive Storybooks and Story Buddies! So much that our collection is growing! You can read more about how our Story Buddy, Christopher, makes bedtime calmer in our home.
What can make these stuffed animals so special is that there is an iPad app!
So a foster child’s loved one can record the story to be read to the child in your home!!!
· Recordable Storybooks: A foster child’s family member can record a story and read to their child no matter where they are this season with the help of Hallmark Recordable Storybooks! With fun illustrations and music, their familiar voice can be added to a Christmas story that can be replayed time and again by your foster child. Check out this Spanish version of The Very First Christmas!!!
Other Hallmark products I absolutely LOVE are:
· Be a Part of the Story: Transform traditional story time into an interactive adventure with Hallmark’s newest storybooks, Be a Part of the Story. When special lines are read aloud, the main character chimes in with a question or choice for a child to answer. Once the child answers, the story continues! Our 3-year-old, Lil Bit, loves choo-choo trains and in this book, All Aboard!, he helps the conductor, Conner, make decisions, such as which track to take and what to feed a cow standing on the tracks.
· Keepsake Ornaments: More than just decorations, Keepsake Ornaments capture the memories of the holidays, commemorating the events, relationships and interests that shape your life throughout the years. Check out this Forever Family snowflake ornament!
And this weekend is Hallmark’s Gift of Memories weekend!!! You earn $5 with the purchase of any Keepsake Ornament!
Hallmark is generously giving away a Christmas gift pack (valued at over $50) to one lucky Foster2Forever reader! The gift pack will include:
- “A Visit to the North Pole” Be a Part of the Story Storybook
- One of Hallmark’s “Everyday” Recordable Storybooks – Perfect for loved ones to record a story for their little ones no matter where they are! Family members can add their voice to a story that can be replayed time and again by your foster child.
- A selection of the newest Signature and Interactive Greetings from Hallmark
Enter using the Rafflecopter below!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Would your foster child benefit from a recordable storybook? Or did you become a forever family this year?
This post and giveaway is sponsored by Hallmark; however, my family loves the products so these opinions are our own!
Birthparent Out of Prison
Earlier this month, I told you how, one night, a few years ago, I saw my child’s birthparents on the news when they were arrested for committing a violent crime.
Well, last week, I learned that the birthparent has been released early.
How did I know?
A few years ago, I set up Google Alerts for names of birthfamily members for both our children. My intention was to know if our son’s grandmother had passed away since she lives in another city.
Here’s how to set up Google Alerts.
I set up Google Alerts for my name, my family members’ names, birthfamily names, my blog name, foster care, etc. I receive an email each week with a list of links that mention these terms, only if the terms are used on the internet that week. (One family member name is the same as a fisheries expert on the West Coast so I receive an alert with that name at least once a month.)
Have you set up any Google Alerts?
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