In December 2009, a precious 4-month-old baby boy was placed in our home – a pre-adoptive placement (or so we thought).
At 4 years old, he now tells his adoption story:
“I was under the Christmas tree — I was a present!“
I cannot imagine my life without my precious LilBit. His affectionate, sensitive soul touches me deeper than I ever thought imaginable. I love him so much! He may not have my DNA, but he certainly has my heart!
It’s Christmas and what over 107,000 foster kids in the US want, can’t be put under a Christmas tree. It’s a home and a forever family!
The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption (DTFA) is airing its 15th annual television special that features uplifting stories of adoption from foster care tonight (Wednesday, December 18th, 2013). Join me on Facebook and Twitter to chat during the show. #AHFTH
If you are new to this website or would like to learn more about adoption from foster care, you can join our community of foster parents or read about our journey to get our foster care license.
National Adoption Day is a national effort to raise awareness of the more than 107,000 children in foster care waiting to find permanent, loving families. Two years ago, on National Adoption Day, we officially became the forever family for a little boy that had been brought to us as a baby in foster care.
This year’s spokesperson for National Adoption Day is Rachel Crow, The X Factor standout, Nickelodeon star and Columbia Records recording artist., who was adopted as a “crack baby” from foster care. I was thrilled to have the opportunity to interview Rachel and hear her adoption story and passion for foster care adoption.
Here is the video of me interviewing this young star. At 4:30 minutes into the video, I asked her advice to foster kids ashamed of their past. The maturity of her answer amazes me!
Here is the link to my interview with Rachel Crow.
Be sure and enter our $60 giveaway for an Amazon or PayPal gift card!
November is National Adoption Awareness Month to raise awareness of the 107,000 foster children available for adoption. I’ve teamed up with several bloggers that have adopted from foster care (or are in the process) for a blog tour! Throughout the month, I will be featuring a different blog and their unique adoption story.
And we are giving away a $60 to Amazon or PayPal!!! Just in time for Christmas! This giveaway ends at midnight on November 30th! So are you ready to meet some fabulous foster parents?
If you also blog about your adventures in foster parenting, leave your link in the comments!
Foster parenting is not for the faint of heart! The goal in foster care is ALWAYS reunification with birthfamily, if at all possible.
And sometimes it isn’t easy. Supporting reunification can be difficult, especially given some situations of dysfunctional, unstable families on the brink of collapse.
But what if your home is much more stable? Can a foster parent support reunification if they feel they can provide a much more stable environment for a child? How can a foster parent support reunification knowing that a foster child will be going back to a dysfunctional home? As a foster parent, how do you keep your feelings in check?
Foster parents just have to find their own way through the emotional roller coaster of parenting these children from hard places. God has a little one already planned for you… it may be this child, or it may be another one. But someday you will have the forever child that has been waiting for you all along!
As foster parents, our first goal is to always support reunification with birthfamilies. But sometimes, reunification just isn’t safe for a child, especially given situations of abuse and violence.
Foster Ducklings explains the Foster Parent’s Dilemma:
I believe in reunification. I believe in keeping families together. We started fostering because we understand that sometimes life just jumps up and kicks you in the teeth. We feel called to be able to say to bio parents, “Hey, sometimes life is too much. You worry about you and get yourself straightened out. We’ve got the baby. He’s safe and happy and loved.” We love the idea of mentoring these parents to help them learn to be the best possible parents for their child. Because we believe that the vast majority of the time, the best possible parents for a child are the ones who created her.
But… sometimes… reunification isn’t what’s best…
When parental rights are on the brink of being terminated, some birthparents just give up and disappear. {Drug addictions that just can’t be broken} Sadly, the birthparents of our two boys and another foster daughter saw their children just a few times before disappearing out of their lives. However, some birthparents have a chance for a last visit to say goodbye to their children.
Foster mom, Ashley, of Fostering Love at Home, wrote in her post A Time to Say Goodbye to What Used to Be:
Today my kids will be saying goodbye, officially, to their past life. Their former life connections have been terminated. They are no longer tied to where they came from. The legal process of this change occurred earlier this month, and today is when my children will be given a chance to say goodbye.
There are a lot of feelings surrounding this event. The children are anxious and worried and wanting to express anger while also crying because of the grief of the situation. Yet, they are also excited that this means adoption is getting closer. Can you imagine the conflicting feelings? Great sadness, yet great joy. Great anger, yet great happiness.
I felt awful….that this {birthmother} has to live with the last image of her little boy forever – him running out of a room with her in it, calling someone else mommy. It makes my stomach hurt to think about the kind of pain that must bring.
The Lark’s Nest shares in her post, the day they said goodbye:
today was the kids’ final visit with their birth mother.it was horribly heartbreaking.she was devastated but she tried to be strong for the kids.she was able to have a few minutes alone with each child, individually.she told them how much she loved them.she told them it was okay to love their new family.today we start the healing.it will be a rough few weeks… months….who knows how long it takes to be okay after losing someone you love so much.their hearts will still ache years from now when they think about her.
The foster care system is full of brokenness. Broken homes, broken families, broken lives, broken hearts, and broken spirits.
Our role as foster parents is tough. Gut-wrenchingly tough to console grief-stricken children on situations they might not understand.
Although an emotional nightmare, a goodbye visit with birthfamily, is a means of closure. Our foster daughter intensely struggled with unresolved grief from her abandonment. Her mother chose to relinquish her parental rights just before her daughter’s ninth birthday and did not want to see her daughter again. Although, a goodbye visit would have been tough on both mother and daughter, this poor, little girl needed to see her mom one last time to say goodbye.
Children need to know they are loved and wanted. As difficult as it can be sometimes, we just have to love them through the tough times to help them heal from the brokenness.
The majority of this summer, our family was larger by 2 foster children. A little girl that we thought would be a good playmate for our 6-year-old was a parenting challenge. Plus, I had forgotten just how HARD it is to take care of an infant, especially one that is already exhibiting signs of hyperactivity with NO napping. We were ALL stressed out.
When the foster children left at the end of July, we realized that our family had been so busy in this chaos, that we hadn’t planned a summer vacation! After the stress of constant bickering, we ALL needed a nice break!
After discussing our options, we were excited about a getaway to the Dallas Metroplex, and opted to stay in Arlington with all the family activities there.
Check out my video of our day at the Six Flags Hurricane Harbor waterpark! (Listen to the lyrics of the song, Gone, Gone, Gone: “You will never be alone. I’ll love long after you are gone, gone, gone.”
Thanks for watching!
Racial tensions have exploded this month with Paula Deen’s racist remarks, the Travon Martin verdict, and this Cheerios commercial featuring an interracial couple that caused General Mills to disable the comments due to the inflammatory racial remarks made.
This is what Michael Twitty of Afroculinaria has to say about the Cheerios commercial controversy:
“Take for example the completely un-Christian and inhuman rage at Cheerios for their simple and very American ad showing a beautiful biracial girl talking to her white mother and pouring cereal on the chest of her Black father. That Cheerio’s had to shut down the comments section says that the idea of inter-human relationships outside of one’s color bracket is for many hiding behind a computer screen—a sign of the apocalypse. So just like those old spaghetti sauce ads, yes, America, racism—“it’s in there” even when we were prefer it not be.”
Check out what kids had to say about the Cheerios commercial controversy.
In this video, I didn’t catch what friend and fellow blogger, Martha Wood of Momsoap, pointed out in her post about the Cheerios commercial controversy:
It’s mostly white kids doing all the talking. There are eight white children. Two black children. One Asian child. And one child who looks biracial. The main child of color who talks is the Asian kid.
Are you telling me that you couldn’t find more black children for this video?
Talk about white privilege! I didn’t catch that this video was mostly white children talking about racism until Martha pointed it out.
Swimming (and playing in the water) is the number one recreational activity in the summer! However, according to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), one in five people who drown are children age 14 and under! [CDC]
These rules for foster families are actually practical water safety tips that ANY family with children should implement.
Who has to abide by these water safety requirements for swimming pools & water bodies?
These requirements only apply to homes that are providing foster care services. This includes foster homes also approved as adoptive homes, but does not include adoptive homes only approved for adoption.
What are the general requirements for caregivers regarding water safety for foster children?
What are the child/adult ratios for swimming activities?
The maximum number of children one adult can supervise during swimming activities is based on the age of the youngest child in the group and is specified in the following chart:
|
If the age of the youngest child is… |
Then you must have one adult to supervise every (number) child/ren in the group |
Swimming Child/Adult Ratio
|
|
0 to 23 months old |
1 |
1:1 |
|
2 years old |
2 |
2:1 |
|
3 years old |
3 |
3:1 |
|
4 years old |
4 |
4:1 |
|
5 years old or older |
6 |
6:1 |
Do all supervising adults have to know how to swim?
No. However, at least one adult counted in the swimming child/adult ratio must be able to swim, carry out a water rescue, and be prepared to do so in an emergency.
When must a child wear a life jacket?
A child must wear a life jacket when:
What are the general requirements for a swimming pool at a foster home?
What are the requirements for accessibility and fences around swimming pools?
Are the requirements different for aboveground pools?
An aboveground pool must:
Does a backyard fence meet these requirements for inaccessibility?
A backyard fence may serve as the pool fence/wall if it meets all fence/wall and gate criteria above that requires that children may not have unsupervised access to the pool area. Therefore, if the backyard fence serves as the pool fence/wall, then children may not have unsupervised access to the backyard and doors leading to the back yard must comply with the requirements. However, if the entire backyard is serving as the pool area, children may not be in the backyard without direct caregiver supervision.
What are the safety requirements for a hot tub?
A hot tub must be:
What are the safety requirements for wading pools?
Wading/splashing pools (less than two feet of water) must be:
What if there is a body of water that is on or adjacent and accessible to a foster home?
You must document the following regarding a body of water that is on or adjacent and accessible to the premises of a foster home:
Note: This list of water safety rules is for foster homes in the State of Texas. You can read more of the Texas regulations for foster homes or check with your state foster home licensing agency.
