Foster2Forever

by

Did You Read These Most Popular Posts of 2012?

2012 was a fabulous year for our family! An entire year with our Lil Bit being officially our son!!!  This little blog had a good year too with a number of posts that had great dialog – also some were quite a bit controversial!  Here are the Top 12 of 2012:

#1. Easy DIY Disney Mickey and Minnie Mouse Costumes

When I had my “twin” 2-year-olds, I planned Halloween costumes as Mickey and Minnie Mouse. However, my Blondie moved to live with an aunt just 3 days before Halloween.  I had to scramble to become Minnie for my little Mickey.  This post was on the first page of Google search for DIY Minnie Mouse costume.

 

#2. Adding Foster Children to Your Family: How Will Your Kids Take It?

This popular post was written by a teenager with foster siblings and gives her personal view of how bringing children from hard places into her life at such a young age affected her.  A MUST-READ for potential foster parents with other kids!!!

#3. Did She Drink When She Was Pregnant?

This post discusses Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD), the first signs, physical features, and the sensory issues attributed to FASD.

#4. Why Does My Child Act Like This? Could It Be RAD?

Another informative post about Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). My Stinkpot has been diagnosed with RAD. The most difficult issue with diagnosing RAD is that it has many overlapping characteristics of 9 other mental health diagnoses in children.

#5. Why We Fought To Keep Our Foster Child

What a controversy that this post caused with a group of birth mothers fighting the foster care system!

#6. Free Online Foster Care Training!

In the state of Texas, you can receive 2 hours of training for your foster home license with this online course on psychotropic medications. Will your state accept this course?

#7. Love From a Birthmother

Another controversial post regarding relationships between birthfamilies and foster parents. The comments from the birthfamily community are just ridiculous.

#8. My Struggle with Parenting a Difficult Child

attachment-style-parenting-discipline-criticism

 

Remember this controversial cover photo on Time Magazine? Here I share my struggle with how to parent my neglected child.

 

 

#9. Do You Celebrate Your Adopted Child’s Culture?

We did not celebrate Cinco De Mayo with our Mexican child. Some commentators think we are doing wrong for our child.

#10. Lil Bit’s Baby Brother – Isn’t He More than Just a Check?

We received a placement call for Lil Bit’s newborn brother born a week before our adoption. Here’s an update about how this baby is caught up in another crazy custody battle.

#11. You Can Tell He Isn’t Your Child

Yes, this is what a CASA worker actually said to me!

#12. Titties!

With that title I should have known! Since that title was the #11 searched term on this blog, I realize I have a number of elementary schoolboys that “read” this blog. haha! This post is actually about teaching our foster children appropriate words and behavior.

Which blog post was your favorite this year?

by

The Easiest Way to Read Through the Bible In a Year

A new year, full of new beginnings! And, of course, New Year Resolutions.

What are your New Year resolutions? Lose weight? Exercise?

One resolution that I’ve had for years is to read the Bible through in a year. But I can never keep up with the reading plans. I fall behind and can never seem to catch up. And then I get discouraged. And give up…

The sad thing is that I love to read! However, reading is next to impossible with my rambunctious preschool boys. When I’m finally able to relax…zzzzz!

However, last year, I discovered Audible.com!

Get 1 free audiobook credit at audible.com!

I began “reading” audiobooks as I drove (alone) to/from work, running errands, on day trips for business, etc. In fact, my list of books I’ve read has grown tremendously.  Check out the list of books I’ve read on GoodReads that includes best-selling parenting books, The Whole-Brain Child and Bringing Up Bebe. {Check out all these other parenting titles available on audio.}

And then I found Zondervan’s NIV Dramatized Audio Bible! It is WONDERFUL!!! I’m learning so much about the history of God’s people – in its entirety.

The best thing about Audible is that you can get a free a 30-day trial that includes one free monthly credit you can use to download the entire Bible (all 75 hours of it).  You can cancel any time during the trial month before your credit card is charged $7.49 for the next month. After 3 months, memberships will begin renewing each month at the regular Gold rate of $14.95 (less than a hardcover book).

I absolutely love “reading” audiobooks! How about you?

Do you “read” audiobooks? Have you ever wanted to read the Bible through in a year?

Disclosure: Links to Audible are affiliate links which means, in the very distant future, I will receive a small commission if you choose to purchase a plan.

by

What Do Foster Parents Say About the Sandy Hook Shooting

Rebecca Hawkes of Love is Not a Pie in Helping Our Children Cope With the Sandy Hook Tragedy:

If you are parenting a child, as I am, who came to you by way of the foster care system, your child may be needing extra support around recent events, but really all children are likely to need some parental guidance as they attempt to make sense of something that is beyond comprehension, even for most grownups.

Kelly of Monkey Soup in Buzzers and Cameras wrote:

There are people who do bad things sometimes.  They may be sick, they may be mad  or upset about something.  They may hurt people.  Momma, Daddy and the grown-ups that are around you will do everything in our power to keep anything from happening to you, and to keep you safe.

Denise of Fostering a Blessing in Hits Home wrote:

Before foster care I NEVER knew this world of childhood mental illness existed.  Let’s talk about it.  Let’s help these kids.  Locking them up…NOT THE ANSWER.

Momma of Called to Foster in Mental Illness: Conversation – Resources – Guidance wrote:

As a child raised by a mentally ill mother, you would think I would fully understand the depths of that reality but I suppose I’m still drifting around somewhere not fully grasping the truth of it all.  Hoping that it would never become my reality again.

Cherub Mamma in Mr. Mini Wonky???? wrote:

I guess I put this out there to show what it looks like in OUR house. We don’t have to make trips to psychiatric hospitals. We don’t have three hour violent rages that involve restraints. But it isn’t easy all the time. There’s a lot of anger and frustration. There’s a lot of hurt. There’s a lot of ugly that most folks wouldn’t understand.

 

by

Do Your Christmas Cards Include Your Foster Children?

Do you send Christmas cards? Many years I have and some years I havent’.  One year (while fostering Stinkpot), I actually sent out a newsletter – now that was work!! Now with Facebook, I think it’s becoming a bit old school to send out actual printed cards.

I sent out cards in 2007, a newsletter in 2008, nothing in 2009, a printed calendar in 2010.

However, last year I sent out this card after we adopted our foster son, Lil Bit!

This is the card I sent this year using photos from a summer photo session. I had the cards done in October!!!

We’ve never sent Christmas cards with our foster kids on them. It was just the timing of when the kids were in our home. Only Stinkpot & Lil Bit were the only foster children in our home during Christmas time.

Do you send Christmas cards? Are your foster children on them?

by

How to Make Kids Christmas Photos Less Horrifying

I am ashamed! This is my Stinkpot’s first photo with Santa…santa-pictures-tips

Go ahead and nominate me for Bad Parent of the Year for terrorizing my kid – I nominate myself!  I’ve learned quite a bit in the last four years of parenting. Last year, we had a good experience taking family portraits and pictures with Santa.  This is how we did it…

1. Introduce your Children to Santa Claus Beforehand

In the picture above, Stinkpot had no clue who this scary guy in a red suit was.  A new parent, I simply handed my toddler over to this guy for a photo. Wrong tactic! I did a much better job at introducing Santa Claus to my Lil Bit. I pointed out Santa Claus on television, at parades, on items in stores, and at the mall beforehand. By picture day, Lil Bit wanted to tell Santa about the choo-choo he wanted.

2. Schedule an Early Appointment with Family Photography Studio

Make your appointment as early in the day as your family can manage.  Early enough that the photos are taken before naps or lunch is necessary. We had an 8:30 a.m. appointment on a Saturday. This also avoids the crowded chaotic waiting area of photography studios that happen as the day moves on.  By the time we left at 9:45 a.m., the waiting room was becoming quite full.Christmas-card-design-adoption-front copy

3. Take Family Portraits and Santa Photos on the Same Day

The kids are already dressed up.  A quick trip to the mall immediately after it opens hopefully guarantees shorter waiting lines to sit on Santa’s lap.

4. Dress for a Different Look in Kids Pictures with Santa

Remove the tie and jacket, then add a sweater vest for a different look.kids-pictures-with-Santa-Claus

5. Provide a Simple Snack

Since discovering my 5-year-old Stinkpot has meltdowns associated with low blood sugar, I try and have snacks readily available.  Snacks can help tie a child over until mealtime and be a useful incentive, especially during wait times.

6. Be Realistic about Pictures with Santa

Even at older ages, this may be your foster child’s first experience with Santa. Don’t stress out about having the smiling, happy Santa photo. It may not happen and that’s okay. Whatever photo you do get, could possibly be the ONLY photo your child‘s ever had with Santa. (I don’t have a photo of me with Santa)

What are your tips for making pictures with Santa enjoyable for your children?  Have they had pictures with Santa before?

by

My Confession: My Bad Habit as a Parent

“Mom! You’re not listening to me!” My strong-willed 5-year-old, JD, growls at me. And he’s right!

Sometimes I get so focused on the task I’m working on that I actually just don’t hear him.

I’m currently reading The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family by the late Dr. Karyn Purvis.

Chapter 5 (“Teaching Life Values”) of this fabulous book discusses ways that foster and adoptive parents can teach their children appropriate life values.  Values that a child without a devoted caregiver may not learn – such as respect, kindness, obedience, and consequences.

Parents can best teach values by living them first!

My strong-willed son is the first to point out any inconsistencies between what I say and what I do. So my actions speak much louder than my words!

Because of my son’s Reactive Attachment Disorder, he struggles with empathy for others. He is extremely ego-centric (as many preschoolers are).  Teaching him that others matter is going to be a struggle. It already is.

One way we show we value others is by respecting and listening to what they say!

And when I get busy and tune him out, I am not teaching him about valuing others.

Many times when JD accuses me of not listening to him, I don’t realize that he’s speaking to me.  When he’s talking, I have to make myself stop what I’m doing and check in with him.  Amusingly, sometimes his reply is: “I’m talking to myself.“

What is your bad habit as a parent? What family values are you teaching your children?

by

The Craziness of Medicaid and Flu Shots

My 3-year-old was burning up with fever this morning. 101 degrees! “Oh no!” I thought. “He has had a cough and runny nose for a week now. Please God, don’t let it be pneumonia again!”

A fever in either of my boys adopted from foster care puts me into high alert. Both boys were born premature (one in Mexico) and have had numerous hospitalizations for respiratory issues.  But this morning, my biggest concern was the flu.

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports:

“Significant increases in flu activity in the United States have occurred in the last two weeks, indicating that an early flu season is upon us. 48 states and Puerto Rico have already reported cases of laboratory-confirmed influenza and, nationally, the percentage of specimens testing positive for influenza is rising fast. Influenza-like-illness (ILI) activity levels in parts of the country are already higher than all of last season. 5 states are already reporting the highest level of activity possible.“

Last week, I took Stinkpot to the doctor regarding my suspicion that he might have hypoglycemia. I requested a flu vaccination, careful not to say the word “shot” in front of my 5-year-old.

The doctor left for a few minutes and then returned, refusing to give my little boy the flu shot.

Apparently, since he is now receiving health insurance coverage under Medicaid, the doctor said that their office cannot give flu vaccinations under Medicaid!!! What???

I now have to take my children covered under Medicaid to the county health department to get them immunized for the flu!!! You cannot be serious!!!

RANT: In my opinion, the government should make it easy for everyone to receive a flu shot – not dictate where someone, especially the poor, would have travel to get vaccinated!!!

The irony is that the CDC, which receives 85% of its funding from the Federal government, has designated the first week in December as National Influenza Vaccination Week!

Have you gotten your flu vaccine? It's not too late! It's National Influenza Vaccination Week.

I will be taking my children to the county health clinic as soon as Lil Bit is able.  However, because I had an allergic reaction to the flu shot, I cannot take it without allergy testing first.  However, because of my asthma, I will!

Have you had your children had their flu shots? Do you have to deal with the same Medicaid craziness?

If you have a blog, use these banner and web tools to spread the word and promote flu vaccinations!

by

How Interactive Storybooks Can Help Foster Children

Christmas is a special time of year when giving, love & memories take center stage. But Christmas can be an especially tough time of year for foster children.  Away from family members and Christmas as they know it, foster children may miss their loved ones even more than ever.  But what if they could hear a familiar voice anytime they missed someone.

Here’s the answer: Interactive storybooks from Hallmark to help “Bring the Holidays to Life” for foster children!

· Interactive Story Buddies: My kids just love these Interactive Storybooks and Story Buddies! So much that our collection is growing! You can read more about how our Story Buddy, Christopher, makes bedtime calmer in our home.

What can make these stuffed animals so special is that there is an iPad app!

So a foster child’s loved one can record the story to be read to the child in your home!!!

· Recordable Storybooks: A foster child’s family member can record a story and read to their child no matter where they are this season with the help of Hallmark Recordable Storybooks!  With fun illustrations and music, their familiar voice can be added to a Christmas story that can be replayed time and again by your foster child.  Check out this Spanish version of The Very First Christmas!!!

Other Hallmark products I absolutely LOVE are:

· Be a Part of the Story: Transform traditional story time into an interactive adventure with Hallmark’s newest storybooks, Be a Part of the Story. When special lines are read aloud, the main character chimes in with a question or choice for a child to answer. Once the child answers, the story continues! Our 3-year-old, Lil Bit, loves choo-choo trains and in this book, All Aboard!, he helps the conductor, Conner, make decisions, such as which track to take and what to feed a cow standing on the tracks.

· Keepsake Ornaments: More than just decorations, Keepsake Ornaments capture the memories of the holidays, commemorating the events, relationships and interests that shape your life throughout the years. Check out this Forever Family snowflake ornament!

And this weekend is Hallmark’s Gift of Memories weekend!!! You earn $5 with the purchase of any Keepsake Ornament!

Hallmark is generously giving away a Christmas gift pack (valued at over $50) to one lucky Foster2Forever reader! The gift pack will include:

  • “A Visit to the North Pole” Be a Part of the Story Storybook
  • One of Hallmark’s “Everyday” Recordable Storybooks – Perfect for loved ones to record a story for their little ones no matter where they are! Family members can add their voice to a story that can be replayed time and again by your foster child.
  • A selection of the newest Signature and Interactive Greetings from Hallmark

Enter using the Rafflecopter below!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Would your foster child benefit from a recordable storybook? Or did you become a forever family this year?

This post and giveaway is sponsored by Hallmark; however, my family loves the products so these opinions are our own!

by

Birthparent Out of Prison

Earlier this month, I told you how, one night, a few years ago, I saw my child’s birthparents on the news when they were arrested for committing a violent crime.

Well, last week, I learned that the birthparent has been released early.

How did I know?

A few years ago, I set up Google Alerts for names of birthfamily members for both our children.  My intention was to know if our son’s grandmother had passed away since she lives in another city.

Here’s how to set up Google Alerts.

I set up Google Alerts for my name, my family members’ names, birthfamily names, my blog name, foster care, etc. I receive an email each week with a list of links that mention these terms, only if the terms are used on the internet that week. (One family member name is the same as a fisheries expert on the West Coast so I receive an alert with that name at least once a month.)

Have you set up any Google Alerts?

I’m Clever

Sway