Foster2Forever

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Another Custody Battle

As you know, I have a new nephew who has been fighting for his life in NICU for the past few weeks. However, there is another fight for his life brewing.  This poor baby entered the world with parents in the midst of a divorce.

Unexpectedly, the father has filed for custody of the baby. Amidst the joy of the birth of her first child, my sister is not only worried about her premature baby’s health, but frightened that the father’s family will do everything possible to get custody of the baby.

Please pray for my sister, Randi, and her baby!

Dragon is a fictitious name.

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A New Family Member

For those who follow on Facebook or Twitter, we have a new member of our family!!!

Welcome, Dragon!!! (see photo below)

Last night, my sister’s blood pressure was out the roof and little Dragon just wasn’t strong enough to enter the world the old-fashioned way. So he came out in the fashion of Alien – ouch! Right before midnight – a month early – all 4 pounds, 11 ounces of him. A clone of my sister with dark hair. Rushed into NICU. Dragon is still in NICU this morning… Prayers are appreciated!

20121115-100158.jpgWith a new baby, will come lots of photos. And most of us now share our photos online – Facebook & Instagram. But all those digital photos are sometimes difficult to show others, especially grandparents. What I do is create photobooks!

With me being a working mom of two preschool boys, it’s extremely difficult to find the time to compile a photobook.

Blurb has a creative publishing platform that allows you to create beautiful photobooks using your photos from Facebook and/or Instagram – within minutes.

I created a photobook of my Lil Bit!

Once you’ve made your book you can share it with others on your Facebook, Twitter or website & blog. Easy to make! And easy to share!

Blurb is a creative publishing platform that allows anyone to create, share and sell a professional quality book. Make a portfolio of your client work, an archive of your blog, a cook book of your favorite recipes, a photo book of your family pictures or a quick book of your Instagram photos – the possibilities are limitless. It’s easy and quick to do – with a variety of software options you could complete your dream book in next to no time. This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Blurb. The opinions and text are all mine.

 Have you ever made a photobook exclusively from your Facebook or Instagram photos?

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When Birthparents Make the News

One evening, after putting the kids to bed, I sat back on the sofa and propped my feet up – my first chance to relax after coming home from work.  I flipped on the television and turned on the local news – maybe a new store was opening?

My feet, along with my jaw, quickly hit the floor when I saw this…

Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan are NOT the birthparents, although they are that good-looking.

My child’s birthparents had been arrested!  Not for shoplifting or writing hot checks – but for an extremely violent crime!

The birthfather was sentenced to prison.

I am thankful that my little boy isn’t in the middle of all that. I am thankful that my little boy doesn’t have to be fearful of the police showing up to take his family away. I am thankful that my little boy is safe!

I am also thankful, in this case, that we have a closed adoption.

(The crime and arrest occurred three years ago, and the birthfather was recently released from prison. I will let you know later how I knew he was released.)

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Tantrums Don’t Take Vacation

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We had a fabulous time on our Disney cruise out of Galveston! It was such a joy to see my kids enjoy Rum Point Beach on Grand Cayman as I had just 8 years before.

However, even with all the fun we still had to occasionally have to deal with a tantrum, approximately one per day.

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Even the captain’s staff got involved!

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However, I did notice that each tantrum was before mealtime. So the last few days, when JD was having a meltdown, I gave him a small piece of candy.

Viola! Tantrum over!!!

He has a doctor appointment next week to check his blood sugar.

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Orphan Sunday

On Orphan Sunday, Christians stand for the orphan.

We are a people called to defend the fatherless…to care for the child that has no family…to visit orphans in their distress.

What are you doing to spread awareness on Orphan Sunday?Will you share this post?

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Are You Ever Really Prepared to be a Foster Parent?

We had taken over 30 hours of training to become a foster parent!
We had a car seat and a crib – the items our caseworker required before opening our home to new placements!
For two years, I had successfully home schooled my teenage stepson with his ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome.
I was ready for a child!!!
Or so I thought….

And then our first placement arrived!

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I learned just how clueless about parenting I really was!

; How clueless were you about parenting?

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Meeting a Child that Changes Your Life: Gabie’s Story

Hi! I am Gabie, a 34-year-old mom who volunteered as part of the Special Learning Program within the regular school. The program was filled with at-risk children; those who are not “regular” in behavior. This is my story of how the Lord brought my attention to foster and adoption:
One child was 8-years-old and lived in the Shelter.  His task was  to draw life under the sea. So, he drew a lonely fish, and quietly began teasing his own little drawing, “Haha, this is a lonely fish. Look! He has no family. He is alone! Silly!” Then he drew another figure, a big fish and said, “He is not alone anymore! Now there is a big fish with him. It is his mom!” He named the small fish *Tommy. (*Made up name to the real child)

The big one? “It’s Gabie”, he said – That’s when I thought to myself, “Wait a  minute. I can be a big fish! Why not?”

Tommy suffered from Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), and children with RAD can manipulate people.  But, in that moment, I did not feel manipulated. It felt more like he was desperately trying to find normalcy. I don’t believe he actually saw me as his mom, but I believe he just wanted to feel “normal.”  Any adult would do, to fill in his blank.
Often, when I would greet him as he was playing with his friends, Tommy would say (without anyone really asking), “No! This is not my mom… She is not my mom…”, all the while clinging to me.
It was easy to read what was happening. He was not telling his friends that I wasn’t his mom. He was telling himself!  He missed his mother so desperately that he wanted someone to represent her, and I was there.  At the same time, he had to remind himself and others that I wasn’t the real thing. But since it felt so good, he was holding on to me just in case, because it was irresistible to feel nurtured.
And so, my eyes were opened. I could see behind the RAD, behind the melt-downs and behavioral issues. Oh, Tommy had issues. Plenty! But I could see his heart. And to me, it was beautiful!
For 9 months, we desperately did all we could to become Tommy’s foster parents; however, we were not able to qualify as foster parents for Tommy, mainly because of his very intense therapeutic needs. While it felt as though I had miscarried a child, the call remained in my heart.
The sad reality was clear. There are still many hurting children to help. All the hurting children are in desperate need of comfort and open arms. My heart breaks for the lonely ones, who are filled with shame and deep need for acceptance. No child should have to plead for a mom… They should all have one, rather biological or foster or adoptive. They all need a family!

When did you become aware that you wanted to become a foster parent?

Gabie is a 34-year-old mom in the process of becoming a licensed foster home. A stay-home mom by choice (and by God’s grace). She has been married to her best-friend for 12 years. She has two daughters, age 10 and 7 (almost 8). She lives in a small town in Montana (but it is the second  or third biggest in the state?). Slow paced life-style 🙂 Lots of farms and ranches around, all with a touch of cosmopolitan because of the University of Montana being here. She writes about her foster care journey at One More With. Us.

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My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Roll Student

I’m proud of our 5-year-old RADish, Stinkpot! He has done such a good job of keeping his temper in check at school. However, last week, I had to travel out-of-town on business for two nights. My absence didn’t go well for him.

On Monday night I wasn’t able to keep in touch, then Tuesday night, I finally figured out how to video chat around 6:30 pm. But it was too late! By that time, Stinkpot had already raged, and fallen asleep!

Aching for my child, I rushed back home Wednesday to pick him up from school, but it was too late!

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I rushed inside and while I was hugging and holding my stinky boy, his teacher approached, unhappy…

“He punched a friend on the playground! I gave him a warning, and then he went and punched another child. He said he did it just because.“

She was obviously surprised at his behavior. With me being gone, and him having such a bad evening at home, I’m not.

He made it seven weeks!

How long can your child be on best behavior?

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What is Your Child Afraid Of? 6 Tips for Overcoming a Child’s Fear

“Come watch me!”

The 5-year-old had an incredible fear of being alone – to the point where he wanted me to watch him poop. He wouldn’t let me be in the next room. I had to be right there – watching (and smelling). And if I didn’t respond immediately, he would throw a fit!

This would get annoying – He was in Kindergarten – 5-year-olds can go to the bathroom by themselves at this age!

But then I remember his history: Brought to us at 8-months-old. Very ill and congested. A diaper rash the size of the diaper. Unable to even roll over. And screaming if I left his sight or if a door was simply closed in the room. (My baby was seriously neglected, constantly being left in a car seat in another room by himself during drug binges.)

I have been reading The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family.

I’m now on Chapter 4 (“Disarming the Fear Response with Felt Safety”) which details the many ways to help a child feel safe.  This chapter had an overwhelming number of tips and techniques on creating an environment of “felt safety” especially in regard to schedules and avoiding tantrums – the best chapter so far.

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As far as a child’s fear of being alone, I found these:

6 Tips to Overcome Fear in Children

  1. Be approachable – Getting down and talking at a child’s level can help build trust so that a child can share what’s really going on with them
  2. Honor your child’s emotions – As tempting as it is, a parent should never tell a child that “A Kindergartner should go to the bathroom without Mommy having to watch.”  A child has a fear that a parent should acknowledge.
  3. Be responsive to your child’s need for assurance – Always send the message to your child that you understand how he feels and that he is safe.
  4. Give choices – This helps a child feel empowered with their situation. “Do you want stand or sit when you potty?“
  5. Help your child through the challenge of overcoming his fear – I went to the bathroom with this child for months.  I would challenge him by standing by the doorway to the bathroom where he could see my arm. One day, he just went to the bathroom alone because he knew I was in the next room. Yeah!
  6. Praise accomplishment – “Wow! Look at you! I stood outside with my arm in the door! You are getting so big!“

What is your child afraid of? How do you help your child overcome their fears?

I’m Clever

Sway