“Mom! You’re not listening to me!” My strong-willed 5-year-old, JD, growls at me. And he’s right!
Sometimes I get so focused on the task I’m working on that I actually just don’t hear him.
I’m currently reading The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family
Chapter 5 (“Teaching Life Values”) of this fabulous book discusses ways that foster and adoptive parents can teach their children appropriate life values. Values that a child without a devoted caregiver may not learn – such as respect, kindness, obedience, and consequences.
Parents can best teach values by living them first!
My strong-willed son is the first to point out any inconsistencies between what I say and what I do. So my actions speak much louder than my words!
Because of my son’s Reactive Attachment Disorder, he struggles with empathy for others. He is extremely ego-centric (as many preschoolers are). Teaching him that others matter is going to be a struggle. It already is.
One way we show we value others is by respecting and listening to what they say!
And when I get busy and tune him out, I am not teaching him about valuing others.
Many times when JD accuses me of not listening to him, I don’t realize that he’s speaking to me. When he’s talking, I have to make myself stop what I’m doing and check in with him. Amusingly, sometimes his reply is: “I’m talking to myself.“
