Foster2Forever

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It’s Me or the Blankie!

This week, our 3-year-old, Stinkpot, who we adopted through foster care, accidentally smashed his finger in a door.  The poor boy was screaming in pain as I ran to him.  He was screaming, “Blankie! Blankie!”

As I scooped him in my arms, he continued screaming, “Blankie! Blankie!”  As his mother, I wasn’t able to comfort him. I asked him, “Do you want Mommy to hold you or do you want Blankie?”

“I waaaaaannnnnttt Blankie!”

foster child attachment

Stinkpot at 10 months old with Blankie

Stinkpot’s attachment to Blankie has been one of the strongest forms of attachment of any child.

  • Blankie is the baby blanket given to his by the hospital of his birth.
  • Blankie was the only thing that he had when he was removed from his birth family at 8 months old.
  • Blankie with all its cigarette burn holes was probably his only consistent form of security during those 8 months of neglect.

As Stinkpot’s mother, on many occasions, I have felt that he is more attached to Blankie than me. And is some ways that could be true.

Because of Stinkpot’s behavior issues, I chose for the year 2011 to be a focus of transformation for Stinkpot and our family.

The first and foremost was TIME! I took leave from work to spend more time with Stinkpot, less time at work or on the computer, and more time focused on him! This has helped in that he now has a desire to be with me more.

Second, I participated in The Rockin’ Mama Challenge hosted by Lisa of A Bushel and a Peck.  The challenge was to rock our wounded little ones for 15 minutes EVERY day. The first few days were tough for our hyperactive 3-year-old; however, now he asks to be rocked almost every day.

He is still very attached to Blankie; however, last night, he left Blankie at church and did well sleeping with Cars Blankie! One step at a time!

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Bonding with our Abused Children {Blog Hop}

During April, National Child Abuse Prevention month, Foster2Forever will be hosting a link-up on topics in regard to the abused and neglected children that we, as foster parents, bring into our home.

This week’s topic is Bonding/Attachment.

You can write a new post or just go ahead and add a post from the past!  Foster2Forever will feature one blogger on Sunday!

This link-up is for foster or adoptive families that have brought abused or neglected children into their homes.

Future topics:

April 11-16   Feelings/Emotions

April 18-23   Challenges/Loss/Trauma/Neglect

April 25-30   Overcoming the Past

Feel free to grab the code and add this blog hop to your website.

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April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month

A Foster Parent’s Perspective – Preventing Child Abuse

When Penny asked me to write a guest blog for National Child Abuse Prevention month, I said ‘yes!’  Then I thought, ‘What have I done? ‘ I don’t know anything about child abuse Prevention. I know some about child abuse.  I know a little, and I stress little, more about dealing with abused children. But, prevention – not so much.

Click this to get your own widget

So, here we are – National Child Abuse Prevention month. While I do not claim to be an expert in any sense of the word, I do believe that these thoughts are practical ways that will reach multiple generations, if we are willing to say yes.

My husband and I have been foster parents for the last 16 months.  Fostering has opened our eyes to a broken, overworked system that focuses on putting out immediate fires with little regard for long term consequences.   Please understand, the system is broken – not necessarily the people who work in the system.

One really great person that works in this system is the Child Advocate or CASA volunteer. We have the most amazing CASA volunteer and are blessed to be in a county that requires every child be assigned a volunteer.  The CASA volunteer’s job is simply to speak on behalf of the child.  Because, they are volunteers, they work with the kids because they WANT to, not because they have to.  These volunteers provide the child a voice, that isn’t looking out for their own interests – like attorneys, CPS, judges, etc.  So, what can you do?  If you are not a foster parent, sign up to be a volunteer.   Be the voice of an abused child and help prevent abuse for the next generation.

Our fostering process has had SO many ups and downs.  Our intention has always been that we would adopt one or more children through fostering, which is the riskiest decision we have ever made.  I’m not good at making relationship boundaries; I’m an “all in” kinda girl…which makes fostering SO hard for me. Anyway,  about 10 months into fostering our daughter, I had an epiphany.  While losing a child would be the worst loss of my life, I get the opportunity to lay a foundation of love, hope and joy for a child whose foundation would have been abuse, drugs, drama and who knows what else.  That, my friends, may be the ultimate way to personally impact the prevention of child abuse, the riskiest perhaps, but worth it.

So, remember at the beginning when I said we have to be willing to say yes?  Well, that may be the hardest part!

Melody, from I Heart…small kitchen appliances, is a wife, mom and children’s pastor who currently resides in the Greater Houston area.  She enjoys creating – food, crafts and organized chaos!  When she isn’t at home or church you will find her behind a 1929 baby grand practicing for a choral concert.

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6 Tips for Open Adoption in Foster Care

Today Foster2Forever is hosting a guest post from Jennifer of The Lark’s Nest who will be writing on the sensitive topic of open adoption…

open-adoption-in-foster-care

My name is Jennifer (aka Mama Lark).  I am a fellow foster mother and have been doing that for a good 4 years now!  My husband and I jumped into foster care immediately after finding out that we struggled with fertility issues.  We LOVE our lives as a resource family for our state and we wouldn’t change it for anything!  If you want to learn more about my family, please check out our blog.

Foster Care Open Adoption **Disclaimer: Open Adoption in Foster Care is NOT for everyone!! Not all situations would be advantageous for pursuing openness.  These relationships take a great deal of time (and effort).  Open foster care adoptions are NOT for the faint of heart.  As mothers, our primary responsibility is protecting our little ones.  As a foster/adoptive mother, that responsibility is even greater and even more discretion is necessary.  These children have been hurt once before.  Putting them back into a dangerous situation- whether it be physical or emotional- should be out of the question.

Our journey to parenthood was filled with many trials and tears.  On a cool October afternoon, I received a phone call informing me that I would be a mother. Within the week, a beautiful little angel moved into our home (and our hearts)!  After 2 adoptions (and 1 more scheduled for April), we are ridiculously proud parents with the support of 2 beautiful birth mothers whom we have lovingly dubbed our “Tummy Mommies”.

Our daughters are biological siblings.  They were removed from their birth mothers’ custody for various degrees of neglect stemming from her drug abuse.  Miss D was born addicted to drugs, and had developed a muscle weakness in her neck from being left in her car seat too long.  Sassy Pants came to us with a urinary tract infection so bad, it hurt when I used the restroom! An open relationship was NOT something I envisioned in the least bit! It just wasn’t going to happen.  NO WAY, NO HOW!

As random health issues arose, I looked into the girls’ files and discovered their birth mother had also been a ward of the state.  I read through HORRIFIC accounts of her life pre-foster care, and my heart ached for that poor child.  After numerous stints in group homes and few “failed” placements, she eventually aged out of foster care as an unwed, drug-addicted mother.  Knowing her heartbreaking past, made it easier to find some level of forgiveness.  Our open “arrangement” did not happen overnight! (Our youngest was 2 1/2 before I even considered tracking birth mom down.)  When I did, I was pleasantly surprised.  She had stopped using drugs, had gotten a job, was attending school, found a great guy and was raising a daughter with him.  (Believe me- I was skeptical… but she still hasn’t gone back to the old ways.) From her huge lifestyle changes, we were able to form an amazingly strong relationship built on trust and mutual respect.

Do you want a more OPEN relationship?  Are you interested in pursuing some version of “open”? Great!! Remember from my earlier disclosure- its NOT for everyone! But for those of you interested in trying it out…

Here is my list of 6 “Non-Negotiables”:

1. the HMMM stage: Plan this out! Ask yourself questions like, how do I WANT this to look?, how will I explain this to our children?, how will I explain this to other people? If all goes well, you will also find yourself asking, how often do we want to visit? Do we want to visit at all? Would it be easier to just exchange photos and emails so many times a year? Should we invite them over for birthdays/holidays? YOU are the one that needs to feel comfortable!  Make your plan work for YOU!! Do what is within YOUR comfort level!   Once you figure out what YOU are wanting this to look like, set up a time where you and the birth family can meet.  Don’t drag your little ones with you until you KNOW that this is a safe situation for them.  A pre-meeting will definitely help!

2. follow your guts:If your motherly instinct kicks in and tells you something just isn’t right, it probably isn’t! One of my rules from the get-go was Tummy Mommy could only be around our children if she was drug-free.  It would be unrealistic to demand urine tests, but we did other things to make sure it was safe for the kids.  I spoke to police officers and counselors about drug addictions and behaviors that could indicate that she was using…   Educate yourselves!  And even if you think its just a silly reaction- TRUST YOURSELF!!  Don’t worry about offending people when your sole priority is keeping your children safe.

3. communicate!: Tell the birthfamily what you are wanting! If you are hoping for this relationship to grow and develop, being upfront about your expectations.  It may be awkward and weird, but it’s equally awkward for the person sitting across from you.  Be honest in your dealings!  Don’t deviate from the plan you created in the HMMM stage! Make sure that these families know that in NO WAY is this a co-parenting situation!!! YOU are the parent, they no longer are.  They have no say in the way the child is disciplined, in the child’s schedule, schooling, clothing… ANYTHING!!  I also recommend that you come up with what you want the child to call their birth family members.  Like I said, Tummy Mommy worked for us.  The girls know that they grew in her belly, and are now part of our forever family.  They don’t know the exact reasons yet because I don’t feel its appropriate at this point in time…  Just make sure you are comfortable with what they call her.  Our children are small, so I am not sure what the best method would be for older children.  Do some reading & research!

4. BOUNDARIES! BOUNDARIES! BOUNDARIES!: While you are communication your “HMMMM plan” with the birth families, make sure to set BOUNDARIES!! Every relationship has them, this one should be no exception.  Each of us will have different comfort levels which will mean each of our situations will have different boundaries.  Some of our boundaries include:

  • No babysitting!
  • She is never alone with the girls.  We always do “family activities”.
  • No showing up without an invitation.
  • No additional people unless they are approved by me.

I ALWAYS made sure I was comfortable in the situation, so I encourage you all to do the same!  If you aren’t comfortable with birth families knowing where you live, meet in a public place.  If you aren’t comfortable with them knowing what your vehicle looks like, take public transportation to the visit! If you aren’t comfortable with the idea of them posting pictures online, make sure they know that! Tell them if a camera comes out, the visit will be over.  If you don’t want them bringing friends, tell them!  Do NOT be afraid of setting these boundaries!

5. no flakes allowed: Your time is valuable.  Waiting around for a birth parent visit that was supposed to start at ten is not an option!! If you plan on a ten o’clock visit, there needs to be a ten o’clock visit or no visit at all.  If there is a serious issue that comes up, that’s one thing… and you should exercise your best judgment.  If it becomes habitual, visits are not in the best interest of your children.  If seeing their child is not a serious priority to them, don’t put child through the back & forth.  Its not fair to the kiddo, and it just places them back  in the situation where they originated from.  DON’T STAND FOR IT!!!

6. “can I borrow…”: This statement is NOT an option in our arrangement!  Gifts around holidays/birthdays are one thing, but loaning money is not an option.  Our birth mother has never asked us, and knows that if she did, I would tell her no.  (I don’t feel comfortable loaning my little brother things!!)   Don’t pay their bills, don’t ask your friends to do them favors, don’t give them cell phones…. just don’t be naive.  Taking advantage of me is NOT happening!!

Hopefully these things will be helpful to you in planning/organizing a more open relationship.  Please don’t think that I advocate ALL foster care/adoption relationships to be open.  Because I do NOT!! There are cases where it is not safe for the child to have any contact.  As parents, do what works best for your family!!  This relationship has worked out wonderfully for us.  We love and appreciate Tummy Mommy so very much.  She is a great example of what overcoming the adversary should look like.

Foster Care Open Adoption“In the end, the number of prayers we say may not be as important as the number of prayers we answer.”  Our prayers were answered by our beautiful children and the mistake of another.  As long as she is working hard to overcome, we will continue to answer her prayers by letting her know that our children are safe… and oh, so beautiful.

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When a Foster Child Lags Behind

Learning to roll over, follow your voice, sit up, walk, and talk are important developmental milestones for infants and toddlers to reach.

Also, the Early Childhood Interventionage your child reaches these milestones is equally important: You can possibly foretell a child’s learning potential or perhaps another underlying issue by examining a child’s development pattern.

Our Lil Bit is a big baby – at the 95th percentile for weight. Given his chunkiness, it took him longer to roll over, put weight on his legs, crawl and walk. Since he was behind on all these milestones, his caseworker at the time requested that he be evaluated for developmental delays by our state’s Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) program.

Early Childhood Intervention is a result of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) which, among other requirements, mandates that infants and toddlers with disabilities or developmental delays receive support services from birth to age 3. (Local school districts provide services for children over the age of 3.)

In October, at 14 months, our Lil Bit was evaluated by ECI on the following criteria:

  • Cognitive: difficulty with playing, learning and thinking
  • Motor: gross, fine and oral
  • Communication: limited understanding or responses in communicating with others
  • Social-emotional: attachment problems, limited parent/family interactions or behavior concerns
  • Self-help skills: feeding

    • Although behind (mostly fine motor skills), he was still within the normal developmental range.

    Flash forward to February, at 18-months-old, our Lil Bit is becoming increasingly behind in his communication. He does babble, but says very few words and rarely calls for mama or dada. (At 18 months, Lil Bit should be saying 8-10 words)  In December, his hearing was checked and was normal. He is social so we don’t have too much of a concern for autism. But we are concerned, especially seeing his classmates in daycare saying so much.

    Lil Bit was evaluated again last week by ECI and was markedly behind in communication. An Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP) is being developed to assist us in helping Lil Bit catch up, with an emphasis on speech therapy. These services are provided free of charge regardless of income or immigration status.

    This 4-minute video by CDC gives a good overview of how to recognize child development problems early.
    Early Recognition of Childhood Development Problems

    Is your child on target for meeting developmental milestones?  Here is a great resource for checking important developmental milestones.

    If you would like to have your child evaluated, here is a List of State Early Childhood Coordinators to find one in your state. Evaluations and assessments are free.

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    Prayer Warriors Needed

    As foster parents, we sometimes have to face the tearing apart of our families. A family is fragmented with a letter stating that a child will be removed and placed elsewhere.


    The State doesn’t always have the best interests of the child in mind when making these decisions. Sometimes the removal of a child is what is quickest, easiest and will require the least amount of paperwork.

    Shannon at http://4kidsandsurviving.blogspot.com needs prayer warriors! Little Mya needs prayer!

    The State is quickly moving toward reunification with her birthfamily and the 2-year-old is distressed over leaving her foster family.

    Please add Mya and all her family and workers to your prayer list.

    “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” ~Ephesians 6:18

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    HOW TO MAKE 3 FAMILIES INTO 1 (Blending Families)

    PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST WINNER
    The winner of yesterday’s photo caption contest is Denver Laura of Fertility Alphabet Soup who is making the leap from fertility treatments to foster care.  This month, she had the joy of an 8-month-old baby boy in her home and then the disappointment of his leaving with a relative. Go give her a *BIG* virtual hug!!!

    BLENDING FOSTER KIDS INTO ONE FAMILY
    Now – Say a BIG “Howdy” to La Mama Loca, a foster mom that has adopted 5 of her foster children! Her family of 7 is about to move from the Midwest to Puerto Rico…

    Hello and thanks for reading about our crazy family! Just over five years ago, my husband and I jumped on the foster care roller coaster adventure. Never did we imagine the ride that was in store for us!
    In January of 2006, we received our first call, three children, ages and names unknown.  That list of questions to ask before you take a placement….right out the window! All we knew when we went to pick them up several hours later was that there was 1 boy and 2 girls, they were approximately 3, 4, and 5 yrs old, sick, and none spoke a word of English.
    Papa Loco, my husband, is fluent in Spanish, and I know enough to be dangerous! We picked the kids up around 7 in the evening and from then on out, our lives changed dramatically!  While I had a degree in Education and we had both been around children all our lives, for the first time, we were totally responsible for these precious lives! It was a bit scary, but we made it through!  I think back to those early days and I am amazed at how we all clicked and made it work.  Going from no children to three children does not work for everyone, but for us, it did.  Due to the nature of the kids case, we were still unsure of their full names and ages until about 2 weeks into the case:
    • Smarty Pants had just turned 5 years old, less than two weeks before we got him.
    • Sweet Thing was 3, almost 4 years old.
    • Drama Mama was 2.5….and every bit her nickname!

    Over the next few years, we added other foster children into our home.  Almost a year into their placement, we added Goofy Girl.  She had been a pre-adoptive placement and been doing (free) respite from 14 mos-18 mos.  The kids were so excited to have her finally move in.  They have always had warm and loving hearts and welcomed her in.

    For the first two years of the older three’s case, and first year of GG’s case, we had no parental visits.  This is rare.  We took it for granted.  After a year in care, Goofy Girl’s bio mom showed up…demanding visits.  This time she had her boyfriend, who she claimed was GG’s bio father, in tow.  Visits were hard.  Very hard!  From 11 mos-2 yrs old, GG had no contact with her bio mom.  I was her mom, Papa Loco was her Papa.  It took many months for her to feel comfortable with leaving our sides.
    Several months later, we added La Loquita to our family….Goofy Girl’s sister.  She was with us from 1.5 months old to 7 months.  She had a short 3 months reunification with bio mom, but surprise, we got a call one late night saying she’d been removed again…did we want her back?? Of course, she was our baby girl!

    At that point, we had 6 children in our home.  We also had Chunky Monkey…the 1/2 brother of the older three kids.  He was with us for the first year of his life.  The kids did not know he was their 1/2 brother right away.  We were really torn on how to handle this issue.  They had no contact with their bio family.  For two years, we had no idea where their bio mother was, if she was dead or alive.  It was a total out of the blue call telling us that Chunky Monkey existed and was in care! CM had weekly visitation with bio mom and his father.  He went home at 13 months old.  This was very hard for the kids.  They were very very very concerned about him, if bio mom was making good choices, if he was safe. Losing him was heartbreaking for all of us.  Yet we also saw God’s hand on the situation.  While bio mom made a lot of stupid choices in those past few years, she also realized it.  She worked hard to get Chunky Monkey back.  We developed a relationship with her, that while it has its ups and downs, has been a blessing. We now have frequent contact with Chunky Monkey, Mr. Macho, and La Gorda, the other two half siblings.

    We have now finalized the adoption of our 5 children.

    Each set of cases last 3.5 years from placement to adoption.
    Ages at placement:
    Smarty Pants-5, Sweet Thing-3, Drama Mama-2, Goofy Girl-11 mo, La Loquita-1 mo.
    Ages at adoption:
    Smarty Pants-8, Sweet Thing-7, Drama Mama-6, Goofy Girl-4, La Loquita-2.

    We have, by the grace of God, managed to blend three families into one.  We have an open adoption with both bio mothers, but currently, only contact with 1.  We know we are not the only family these children have.  With boundaries, we have managed to have good relationships with extended bio family.  The kids know there are biological differences amongst them.  We talk a lot about how we are a family formed by adoption with a lot of people to love them.  Like any group of 5 siblings, they bicker and fight.  Yet they also have a very tight bond that no one can tear apart.

    Love has brought our family together in a way, we never imagined.  We continue to pray about adding more children to our family!  We can’t get enough crazy in our lives!

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    I HEART…. Trans-Racial Adoption!

    Today – we have a special guest blogger, Melody, from I Heart…small kitchen appliances talking openly about TRANS-RACIAL ADOPTION in the South!

    —>
    When my husband and I decided to adopt one of the first discussions we had was about race. We grew up in a very traditional part of the South where the lines between neighborhoods were not so ‘imaginary.’ We asked ourselves all the questions you would expect.

    “Will our families accept a child that isn’t Caucasian?”
    “Are we prepared to raise a child from a different culture?”
    “Will we love a child that doesn’t look like us?”
    “Will that child love us, when he/she realizes we aren’t the same?”

    We also had a great list reasons why we could adopt outside of our race:

    • We now live in a major city with EVERY culture imaginable. So, no matter what race we ended up adopting, we would be able to expose them to their culture.
    • We have so many friends of different cultures – Hispanic, Indian, African-American.
    • No matter what kind of hair we ended up with…someone could help us fix it! haha!
    • Most important we just wanted to be able to say YES!
    “Yes, we will make it work even if it means we might be uncomfortable at first.”
    “Yes, we will pursue whatever means necessary to raise a healthy, contributing member of society.”
    “Yes, we are willing to make a lifetime commitment to a child that has no other option.”

    So, here we are, in the middle of our first placement with a GORGEOUS Hispanic girl. We were so blessed to be able to meet her at just 4 days old and she will be turning 1 year old next week. It has been an AMAZING year that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Reflecting back, here is how our lives have been affected by having a a child of a different race in our family.

    1. Awareness
    We have become SO aware of every Hispanic child that crosses our paths. Height, weight, skin color, eye shape, hair color. I must admit, before having a Hispanic child, in my naivety, they all looked similar to me. Now, I notice every difference and how unique and amazing each child is. And, wow, they wear more jewelry than me!

    2. Language
    We haven’t had a language barrier with our daughter simply because she has only known us from birth. However, due to an open adoption, she comes with an Aunt, Uncle, 5 cousins and a sister – few of whom we can communicate with. Our visits with them are frustrating. I often feel like I’m not getting the whole story or things are being said about our family in a negative light. But, I can not confirm or deny this! Which is even worse! The reality is that while our daughter will be able to live a whole, healthy life speaking English, she needs to know Spanish. I want her to be able to communicate with her entire family one day. This is definitely still a work in progress.

    3. The Peanut Gallery
    You know, all the people that have something to say, but at the end of the day their opinion doesn’t matter a hill of beans! There aren’t as many as you would think. Remember, we live in a very large city, one of the 4 largest in the country. So, it’s not odd at all to see parents with children that don’t look exactly like them. When we visit ‘home,’ though, we do get quite a bit of attention. Mostly because most of them have never seen a Hispanic baby, and she is so darn cute!

    4. Love really is blind
    One year later, we can not imagine our lives without our daughter. She’s an amazing little bundle of energy that makes me smile all the time! I don’t see her differences – I see her similarities. She smiles like me, she’s brave like her papa and she adores music…like both of us.

    Trust me, this is just the beginning. It will not always be this easy. I wonder (worry) about how she will process our differences when she is older.

    • Who will she identify with at school?
    • Will she feel closer to her biological family, than us?
    • Will I really be able to raise her to appreciate her culture?

    I don’t have any of the answers. So much will depend on her personality and our pro-activity. But, our answer to her will always be YES. When it’s easy and when it’s hard.

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    MAMA FOSTER: Adopting Through Foster Care

    Hello Everyone!

    My name is Mama Foster, I choose to hide who I am so I can share the REAL stories of fostering my wonderful kids.

    I want to thank Penny for letting me guest post!  I love her blog (I check it up to twice a day!) – I am a total blog stalker!

    I thought I would share with you guys a little of what I have learned about adopting through foster care because, trust me, it is nothing like I thought it would be!

    My husband and I have an 8 year old son that we made the old fashion way.  After my annoyingly eventful pregnancy I really didn’t have any desire to get pregnant again.  He was born healthy and beautiful and I was thankful for that, and that it was over with!!  So, we went almost 5 years without being too worried about adding more kids to our family-plus we were young, we had time.

    So, after my son’s 6th birthday I FINALLY was feeling baby crazy, but not pregnancy crazy.  My husband and I had always thought about adoption but it never became quite as real as it did when my husband finally said “We should just adopt!” after I had asked God to show me if we should adopt by having my husband finally be the one to bring it up!

    So, long story short, we settled on foster to adopt.  Sounds easy right?  -all you foster moms can stop laugh now –

    We got licensed and our first call was for a 2 year old little girl we were only supposed to have for 3 months.

    We had her for 16 wonderful months.
    Yankee Hat walk 64 Camp fireWe were head over heels in love with her.

    We had walked through fire for her and with her.
    We had hoped to adopt her.

    And then the judge sent her back to her ill prepared mom.

    That was only 3 weeks ago, if that.

    Our wounds are still fresh, and though I have not mentioned them, we have had 2 other foster children as well.  One went on to be adopted by someone else and one is still with us but will probably be returned to her mother as well.

    What I have learned through ALL of this is that these children desperately need someone who is willing to risk everything to love them during this time of total upheaval in their lives.  As I mentioned on my own blog a few days ago, I was very scared that we would not be able to handle a child we loved leaving.  Little did I know what it would really do.  My daughter, yes-MY daughter, leaving has lit a fire inside of me.

    I saw the sadness in her eyes of going in between our two homes.

    I saw the confusion of having 2 mommies.

    I was there when she told me her uncle was molesting her – repeatedly.

    I took her to the ER.

    I did everything within my legal power to help her.

    When I say that we walked through fire for her, it was truly WITH her.  These children have to do this with OR without us.  They can either live with a family that gives them 100% or one who isn’t worried about what is going on in their little hearts.  I went into this to adopt, to get my kids and get out-but that wasn’t God’s plan.

    He has called us to do more than what we planned.  He has called us to give up some of our comfort for a little one that has all of theirs stripped away.

    Fire in the skyOh, and in the mean time God had been working behind the scenes to bring our family hope after such a devastating loss.

    The week after our daughter left we finally met a little boy that we have been asked to adopt.

    He is almost 2 years old, and has blonde hair and greenish eyes just like our biological son.

    God does not miss a thing.  He has a plan and I truly mean it when I say, we are just blessed to be asked to be part of it.


    Mama Foster is a 20 something mom and wife who has been married to her awesome hubby for 9 years.  She has fostered 3 kids so far since she and her husband were licensed to foster 2 years ago.  She and her husband are currently working to get their first official adoptable son home as soon as possible, the adoption is via the United States Foster Care System.  She enjoys spoiling all her kids rotten and taking pictures of them while she does it.  She blogs her heart out at http://mamafoster.blogspot.com

    Be sure to add your adoption story to our blog hop!!!

    I’m Clever

    Sway