Behavior Issues Archives - Page 4 of 8

My Child’s Early Hunger Still Affects Him Today

More than one in five children (including one in four Latino children) in the U.S. may not know where their next meal is coming from — nearly 16 million children experience child hunger!

Children who experience even intermittent struggles with child hunger may suffer serious, long-term consequences to their health, well-being and educational achievement. I know these effects first hand!

Our son experienced child hunger before being placed in foster care.

When our toddler’s tantrums morphed into rages as he got older, as parents, we felt more and more hopeless — we didn’t know what was going on in our little boy’s brain! We were frightened that our son could have serious psychological issues. However, thanks to Empowered to Connect, we began to realize that our son’s rages were associated with hunger.

Due to our son’s early neglect and experience of child hunger, his little brain had been rewired to believe: “when I’m hungry, I might not eat, I might die” which can trigger the fear response of fight or flight. (our son is a fighter) Once we realized our son’s fits were associated with child hunger, we have been able to help him by giving him a quick snack to reset his blood sugar. We have now reduced our strong-willed son’s fits by 95%!!!

That’s why child hunger is an important topic to me! I’m proud to be partnering with ConAgra Foods to help build a community of people to make a difference and help donate up to 7 million meals through P&G’s Child Hunger Ends Here campaign.

To learn more about how you can help end child hunger, join the Child Hunger Ends Here Facebook page or connect on Twitter or Instagram!

How do your children respond to hunger?

Disclosure: I participated in this important program on behalf of ConAgra Foods and The Motherhood, but this is my true experience of child hunger.

8:00 am by Penelope

My Christmas Wish: More Quiet Time at Home

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Cottonelle.

If you follow my family’s misadventures on Facebook, you know that last week was a chaotic nightmare. I want just one morning or evening that’s QUIET! But with two rambunctious, young boys, it’s beginning to feel that a quiet morning time is like sugarplums dancing in my head… Poof! An elusive dream.

My 6-year-old ADHD son is impossible to wake in the mornings, even after going to bed at 7:30pm! He’s close to a tantrum when he wakes up. I do know that low blood sugar can easily trigger my son into a rage anyway — so I’ve even woken him up with candy, just to spike his blood sugar up a bit so that he’s tolerable. Don’t judge!

Post by Foster2Forever.

School is now becoming a challenge. He tells me how much he hates school, and asks to stay home nearly everyday. I believe he is acting out so he can stay home. I want to help my son express himself like the big kid he is, so our home can be less chaotic, and more of the calm environment I crave for my sons.

More calm. More quiet. More hugs. More laughter. More joy. MORE!

It’s simple – more is better. Having 25 percent more this holiday season can make a big impact.

And Cottonelle understands that even just a little bit more is better and is giving away $100 American Express gift card EACH DAY until Friday, December 20th! To enter, simply pin the Cottonelle image below to one of your Pinterest boards, and then fill out the form on the SITS Girls Facebook page. You can enter every single day this week! Easy peasy!

What do you want more of this Christmas? More time? More quiet? More calm?

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Cottonelle.

8:40 am by Penelope

My Child is Out-of-Control! Could It Be His Diet?

Is your child out-of-control? With mood swings, anxiety, or ADD? Has Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)?

Today Jax of The Roller Coaster Life of a Forever Family is sharing how a gluten-free diet changed the out-of-control behaviors of her son.

How a Gluten-Free Diet Changed My Child’s Behavior

My now-adopted son was in seven foster homes and five daycare settings between the ages of two and three. No one could handle his behavioral problems. He hit. He screamed. He lashed out. He injured himself and had non-stop, almost manic energy. He both scared and frustrated his caregivers and eventually everyone always gave up on him…that is, until I came along. I was home number eight and determined to be his final stop.

I tried to manage my child’s behaviors with love, consistency and patience and that worked, to a degree. He was often well-mannered in preschool but would then act out on the playground. There have been so many occasions where a parent was angry with me when Christopher hit, scratched, pushed or bit their child. The preschool wouldn’t let him play outside with the other kids because he kept hitting the other kids or slamming into them while running. I knew we had a problem but I didn’t know what to do. I kept hoping it would all go away but it never did.

The final straw for me was when his summer nanny called me at work a few weeks ago to tell me that she and Christopher had been escorted out of the Children’s Museum…by security…because Christopher was attacking the other children. When your 38-lb. child is escorted out of a building by a gun-toting security guard, you know you have a serious behavioral problem.

I was now officially at my wit’s end and desperate for help. Neither Christopher’s pediatrician nor his therapist had any real answers for me. What could I do?

My sister suggested I change Christopher’s diet. She told me that gluten (a protein found in wheat) and artificial dyes can cause aggression in some children and why don’t I try a gluten-free diet and see if it helps. I figured hey, it couldn’t hurt and so I removed both gluten and artificial dyes from his diet that very day. And wow, what a difference that decision made in my child!

I noticed a change in Christopher almost immediately. He became much calmer and was easier to manage. He played nicely with other kids and no longer hits or scratches them. It used to break my heart to see kids not wanting to play with my son but now they all want to be around him. I love that for him!

Gluten Intolerance Symptoms

Digestive issues, such as bloating, gas, diarrhea, or constipation
Fatigue, crankiness, feeling tired, or in a “brain fog”
Dizziness or feeling off balance
Migraines or headaches
Mood swings, depression, anxiety, or ADD
Swelling or pain in the joints
Eczema

If your child exhibits some of these gluten intolerance symptoms, you might try a Gluten-Free diet to see if it helps your child.

Come back on Thursday for an Easy Gluten Free Recipes Meal Plan! Read more on gluten-free diet and Sensory Processing Disorder.

Does your child have gluten intolerance symptoms? Have you tried a Gluten-Free Diet?

7:31 am by Penelope

Have You Tried Gluten-Free With Your Kids?

Do you have a child that’s difficult to parent? Are your children cranky, aggressive, or hyperactive? Has your child been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)? {Read The Out-of-Sync Child for more on SPD}

Have you tried a gluten-free diet for your child with Sensory Processing Disorder?

I haven’t yet, but here’s what I’ve been reading about a gluten-free diet for SPD…

Beth Allen says this in her post, Jumping on the Gluten-Free Bandwagon for Our Son with Sensory Processing Disorder:

My second son Asher, 18 months at the time, was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. SPD is a neurological condition in which the person has difficulties organizing the sensations coming from the body and the environment. One of the first things I read about SPD recommended removing both Gluten (protein found in wheat) and Casein (protein found in dairy) from his diet. I decided I’d give it 3 weeks, and then go back to life as usual, because it surely wasn’t going to change anything.

Well I’m here to shout from the rooftops, because it’s turned out to be life-changing for us!….

I was about to dive in to Occupational Therapy after Asher was assessed, but I decided to try this GFCF (Gluten-Free/ Casein-Free) diet for 3 weeks “just to rule it out.” Ha!

The GFCF lifestyle has been a Godsend! And still to this day, 5 months in to this journey, I am blown away by what we’ve witnessed. Our estimation is that 75% of Asher’s symptoms were COMPLETELY GONE within 1-2 weeks of going GFCF.

Jenny has a son with autism and SPD and says this on the SPD Blogger Network about a gluten-free, dairy-free diet:

Back in October, you may remember that my son started the GFCF diet (gluten free and casein aka dairy free). Within weeks, his eye contact and engagement improved, his verbal ability approved, and he began to sleep through the night for the first time ever. That was life changing for this exhausted mommy, and I was ecstatic that Bud seemed happier himself.

To be honest, I haven’t tried a gluten-free diet with my son because, frankly, I thought it would be just too hard. But check out this group of ebooks!

Check out these five ebooks on grain- and gluten-free cooking! In these books are numerous tips for a gluten-free kitchen as well as almost 200 recipes for every meal of the day. This book bundle is useful whether you’re just getting started or you’ve been gluten-free for years.

Grain-Free Meal Plans: Summer {2 Weeks} by Cara Faus
Cara’s known for her grain-free meal plans, and this collection includes recipes for 3 meals a day, 7 days a week for two full weeks plus grocery lists, prep instructions, indexes, and more to take the headache out of meal planning for your family. {$~~16.00~~}

Awaken: 30+ Egg Free and Grain Free Breakfasts by Karen Sorenson
In Awaken: 30+ Egg Free and Grain Free Breakfasts, Karen offers 30 delicious breakfast recipes that are egg- and grain-free with step-by-step instructions and photos as well as tips for stocking a gluten-free pantry, egg and sweetener substitution charts, and nutritional information estimates.

Baking with Coconut Flour by Starlene Stewart
Baking with Coconut Flour is not a recipe book but an instructional guide that will answer your questions about baking with coconut flour. Starlene shows you how to successfully reproduce other people’s recipes, how to work with coconut flour, how to adapt your favorite family recipes, how to troubleshoot your flops, where to find coconut flour and more. She even includes a handy worksheet to help you convert recipes!

Check out Beyond Grain and Dairy Cookbook
And the recipes in Gluten-Free Snack Cookbook look so yummy!

I have already ordered and can’t wait to read the Grain-Free Meal Plans book (with grocery list)!!! I’ll let you know how it goes.

Have you tried a gluten-free diet with your kids with Sensory Processing Disorder? Did it help their behaviors?

4:00 am by Penelope

Our Bedwetting Dilemna

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of GoodNites. All opinions are 100% mine.

Have you had a child in your home that wets the bed?

I was surprised when an 8-year-old foster child wet the bed the first night in our home. Bedwetting occurred nightly, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it.

However, nocturnal bedwetting is not uncommon —

1 in every 9 kids wet the bed at night

Bedwetting may be caused by one or more factors. The most common cause of bedwetting, however, is simply a small bladder that is not growing as fast as the rest of a child’s body.

Dr. Stephen Sheldon, director of the Sleep Medicine Center at Children’s Memorial Hospital in Chicago, Illinois:

“The most common causes of bedwetting continue to be issues involving bladder control, infection, fluid intake, stress and trauma.”

Because foster children have a number of stress factors, such as being removed from their families, moving to a new placement, and starting a new school, they may be more prone to bedwetting.

When I mentioned nighttime diapers for our foster child, she exclaimed, “No! Diapers are for babies!” (Note: I should have used the term nighttime underwear.) But when she saw the cute, girly, discreet design of GoodNites Underwear, she didn’t have any problem wearing them.

However, when I ran out of the GoodNites Underwear, I purchased another brand.

Our foster child did NOT like the other brand. “Gross! I’m NOT wearing that! It looks like a diaper!”

The discreet design of GoodNites Underwear made her feel more like she was wearing regular underwear.

Our nearly 4-year-old Lil Bit also has an issue with bedwetting; however, we found that the potty-training diapers just aren’t absorbent enough for nighttime bedwetting. Many nights, he wakes up in the middle of the night drenched in urine. We are now making the switch to GoodNites Underwear for him too.

For more information on bedwetting, check out the GoodNites Facebook page.

What has been your experience with bedwetting?

6:47 am by Penelope

3 Tips on How Parents Can Deal with Manipulation

One evening while my husband and I were dating, he was voicing how upset he was with his ex-wife about how she handled their son, Bubba. Bubba had run to his dad’s house, and began lamenting about his mother: “She said I couldn’t go with you to visit my cousins!”

Angry that his ex-wife, Medusa, was encroaching on his plans with Bubba, my husband went to her home and they began arguing. Bubba hadn’t complete his chore of taking out the trash, and she had given him a consequence. As my husband and Medusa were arguing, Bubba went to them and said, “I took out the trash.”

When my husband relayed this story to me, he was struck back as I began laughing out loud. “Sweetheart, don’t you see? Your son is manipulating you. He knows exactly how to get you and Medusa arguing to take the pressure off of him.”

Triangulation – when a child plays one parent against another in a manipulative way.

photo credit: .craig via photopin cc

My husband and I rarely argue; however, we found ourselves arguing more and more after our 12-year-old foster girl, Big Helper, joined our home. It was only after she left that we discovered how crafty she was in subtly pitting us against one another. We didn’t even realize it.

All children, not just foster children, will try and manipulate a situation to gain control and get their needs/wants met. However, for foster children, manipulation can be a technique they learned in order to survive.

HOW CAN PARENTS DEAL WITH MANIPULATION?

Encourage your child to use honest words. Let them know that they don’t need use tricks to ask for what they want.
Check with your spouse. If a child says that the other parent said so — always, always, always check with your spouse before agreeing.
Become more connected with your child to help them learn that you are there to meet their needs.

If you follow on Facebook, just last week, my 5-year-old didn’t want to go to school. After numerous attempts to get him in the car, I exclaimed: “Get in the car NOW or I’m leaving without you!” My Kindergärtner walked to the car, opened the door, pulled out his blanket, closed the door, and said, “Bye, Mom.”

I was furious! But I had to drive away… When I returned a few minutes later (to take him directly to the principal’s office), he had gone inside and told my husband: “Mommy left — She said I could stay home today.”

He’s only FIVE!!! But already learning the art of manipulation.

What has been your experience with manipulation? What suggestions do you have?

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10:00 am by Penelope

Help! Is This Oppositional Defiant Disorder?

Our strong-willed preschool son is a defiant one! This strong-willed Kindergartener has been so demanding and obstinate lately. And we are exhausted!

We recently attended a foster care training on mental health issues, such as depression, PTSD, ADHD. And when the speaker showed the slide on Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), our mouths fell open…

What is Oppositional Defiant Disorder?

ODD is a pattern of negative, hostile and defiant acts that lasts more than 6 months. (How about 2+ years?)

Symptoms of Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Loses temper easily
Argues with adults
Refuses to obey rules
Often annoys people on purpose
Blames others for his mistakes
Often touchy or easily annoyed with others
Often angry and resentful
Often spiteful

A child must exhibit at least 4 or more of the following symptoms to be diagnosed with ODD.

My son exhibits every single symptom of ODD!!!

Now don’t get me wrong – I am not diagnosing my son with ODD! To the contrary, my prayer is that he does not have ODD.

Because…get this: He has had no tantrums at school this entire year! My observations are that he only exhibits these symptoms of ODD with his parents! Since he only exhibits these symptoms with his primary caregivers, it could mean that he is expressing his needs due to his past trauma only when he feels safe – with his parents.

Read more about the overlapping symptoms of other disorders.

photo credit: demandaj via photopin cc

10:28 am by Penelope

Dealing with your Defiant Kid

Do you have a defiant kid too? I have a defiant, strong-willed son that I believe takes pride in challenging me. I love my little imp, but boy, he tries my patience!

I have been reading through The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family and have been using a number of the strategies for connecting with your adopted child.

STEPS IN DEALING WITH CHILD’S MISBEHAVIOR

Respond to misbehavior immediately.
Redirect to better choices.
Practice getting it right with a do-over.
Praise for improved behavior.

But sometimes, my son is stubborn and simply defies me. Chapter 7 discusses Dealing with Defiance! Here are some of the strategies I’ve been using from this chapter:

STEPS IN DEALING WITH CHILD’S DEFIANCE

If your child challenges you, move closer and assert your authority while giving your child a chance for a do-over.
Then say something like: “It is NOT okay for you to talk to me or your dad like that. You can be unhappy, but you MUST talk with respect! Now try that again, son.“
Many times I have to give my preschool boy a choice of talking nicely or a consequence. After a few moments, he usually turns around because he knows I mean business.
Praise him for talking respectfully. “Good choice in talking nicely!“

The Connected Child recommends: “Use the least amount of firmness and corrective effort needed to resolve a situation.”

However, sometimes, these strategies may not work, and Chapter 7 of The Connected Child discusses dealing with defiance in more detail.

BE FLEXIBLE

To avoid a total breakdown, sometimes, I have to stay aware of my son’s “meltdown potential.”

Sometimes if he might be hungry, I realize that he isn’t capable of pulling himself together – so my first task is to get his blood sugar back up – before I deal with his defiance.

After he’s calm, then we talk about his misbehavior and even sometimes, I give him the choice of what his consequence for misbehavior should be. Funny story: One time, he decided his punishment would be “no wii for 20 months”. I told him that would be nearly two years until he could play wii again, so 2 days of no wii would be fine.

What strategies have you found effective in dealing with the defiant personality of your kid?

8:00 am by Penelope

When Do-Overs Don’t Work: A Child’s BIG Emotions

I have a defiant child! His challenging behaviors can be so frustrating as a parent attempting to help him.

Last month, I discussed the “Do-Over” as a technique to teach your child appropriate behavior as an alternative to other forms of discipline.

However, sometimes, such as during this scary blow-up rage at church, DO-OVERS JUST DON’T WORK!

My son, JD, was in full rage mode & nothing we could do was calming him down. We were desperate, and racing to the local hospital for help. In fact, he didn’t calm down until we actually pulled up to the hospital.

A few months ago, I read The Whole-Brain Child along with Lisa Qualls and a few of her readers of One Thankful Mom.

One of the helpful strategies that I began using during one of JD’s meltdowns is:

Whole Brain Strategy #2: Name It to Tame It: Telling Stories to Calm Big Emotions.

Name It to Tame It helps children not be overwhelmed by their feelings. The authors note that we can: “name and tame the emotions we are experiencing, rather than be{ing} overwhelmed by them.” This storytelling process can help a child make sense of their experiences.

One thing that we’ve noticed with JD’s rages is that they usually occur when he hasn’t eaten a good meal in a while. During these rages, I’ve began repeating to him: “oh, you must be hungry…you get really grumpy when you’re hungry…what would you like to eat?”

By adding these narrative details while JD is raging, I’m hoping to help him make sense of what he’s experiencing with these BIG emotions and what he’s feeling in his body. Then hopefully, one day, he will realize that he’s hungry and just say “I’m hungry!”

That scary blow-up at church was so perplexing to us because he had eaten nearly two grilled cheese sandwiches before church! That intense rage (the worst in over a year) frightened us more than ever about what could be going on inside our little boy’s brain. I was in tears holding and praying over my son as we drove that ten minutes to the hospital.

After that ordeal, when we finally made it home and walked in the door, what do you think Stinkpot said to me? Yes! That’s right!

I’M HUNGRY.

How do you help your child deal with BIG emotions?

You can read The Whole-Brain Child on your Kindle or listen through Audible (how I read it).