Today I linked up with:
5 MINUTES FOR MOM
by Penelope
Today I linked up with:
5 MINUTES FOR MOM
by admin
NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH
Can you believe the month is half over? This weekend is National Adoption Day! I’m so excited! We have a number of foster children in our area who will be adopted into their forever families this weekend – just in time for Thanksgiving! What a blessing!
Foster2Forever now has nearly 100 adoption stories in our Adoption Blog Hop! Is yours listed? Can you help us get over 200 adoption stories by the end of the month? Won’t you help spread the word or host the blog hop on your site?
I HEART THE ZOO
This weekend, I took Stinkpot to the zoo. He was so excited that he screamed, yes, screamed, for the first 5 minutes! (Think Home Alone) He had an amazing adventure! He saw lions, tigers and bears, oh my! The lion was right behind the glass roaring at him. He touched a snake (okay, fake snake). I had to literally bribe him to leave.
I was able to get some amazing shots with my Canon Rebel XS shooting on manual mode! Thanks I Heart Faces for the great class!
I entered this photo of Stinkpot exploring the aquarium in this week’s IHeartFaces Silhouette challenge.
Come back tomorrow to see more zoo shots and link up your Wordless Wednesday post (and enter another giveaway)!
GIVEAWAY WINNER
Congratulations to The R House! The winner of the photobook and Christmas cards from Shutterfly!
OPEN ADOPTION
Katrina from Making Many Memories wrote the following story about their open adoption with their daughter’s birth family. Is this story familiar to you?
“I’ve heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason. Bringing something we must learn and we are lead to those who help us most to grow if we let them and we help them in return. Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true. But I know I’m who I am today because I knew you…. (For Good – from the musical Wicked)”
When we first started on our journey of adopting we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. We had 3 healthy biological boys and I had lost a 4th son when I was 6 months pregnant. We knew we didn’t want to do private adoption because we were capable of having another child and didn’t feel right about adding to the already long list of people who were waiting for a domestic baby. We also did not have the money to do an international adoption and had heard some really heart-wrenching stories about those as well.
That brought us to looking into foster/adoption. Little did we know when we first started the process that foster/adoption is a lot different than foster care. Looking back, we wouldn’t change how we got our angel Nevaeh and it is probably a good thing we were ill-informed.
Since this blog is suppose to be about open adoption in a foster/adopt situation, I will try and keep our story relatively short. We got our little angel when she was 2-1/2 months old. She was taken from her birth mother and father and both of them were given services. For 18 months she lived in our home and we loved her like she was our own daughter but knew that the chances of being able to adopt her were very slim. I was also the one who took her and supervised her weekly visits.
During this time I developed a love/hate relationship for her parents. Here were 2 people who loved their daughter very much but just couldn’t seem to keep it together. They made choices that infuriated me and at the same time gave me hope that somehow I would be get to be her forever mother.
So after 18 months of them slowly progressing (if you want to call it that), it was decided that Nevaeh could start doing overnight visits with them. “Oh my aching heart” does not even begin to describe the pain I felt the first time I dropped her off to stay the night. Yet I knew that I had provided the best possible start for her and was still silently hoping (and to my friends not so silently hoping) that they would find out just how hard taking care of a toddler was.
As the weeks passed, things did change, and events happened that made the social worker want the case to go to trial. But a miracle happened, and Nevaeh’s birth parents decided that she would be better off with us and asked us if we would adopt her. I will never forget that day. What do you say to someone who just gave you the best gift you could ever hope for? How do you thank them when you know their heart is breaking in two?
On this day, Steve and I made it clear that we still wanted Nevaeh’s birth family in her life. Of course, on the day of the trial, the lawyers tried to talk her parents out of it and told them they would have no legal rights to her what-so-ever after their rights were terminated. They told them we could promise them the moon and then leave the country and never even tell them once the adoption was final. And they were right. But that was never our plan. With all of their faults and weaknesses we still wanted them to be a part of her life.
Why? Is a questions we get all the time. Aren’t you afraid that they will come and take her back? Do you really want to expose her to them?
I have 2 sisters who were adopted from birth. We can tell them what we were told as to why they were given up for adoption but that’s about all we can do. They have questions that we can’t answer. There is a part of their lives that is a huge question mark and something that they want to know. Not because they don’t consider us their family, but because it is part of who they are. They are not looking to replace us. They just want to find out more.
I don’t want Nevaeh to grow up wondering. The arrangements I have with her birth family right now is that they see her about 4 times a year around birthdays and holidays. They do not know where we live and have never been to our house. We meet in a public location (partly because they are homeless again) and I buy us all lunch. We stay for about 2 hours and they laugh and play with her.
Is it hard on me? Yes. It is an hour drive there and back and trying to fit it into our busy schedules is frustrating to me sometimes. Nevaeh is a very strong willed 3-year-old (alright, she’s spoiled). I always feel as if I am being judged as to why she throws the fits she does or why she isn’t potty trained yet. Plus I hate the awkward moments, like the time her birth mom thought I was inviting her to live with us or the time they called and asked me to co-sign on their apartment.
I have had to lay down the rules!
I am not sure how long it will last, but I will do my best to make it work for as long as I can. Is it hard? Yes!
So why open adoption when I don’t have to? Why expose her to these people with sorted past who hurt her when she was a newborn? Why deal with all this frustration and awkwardness?
And because on April 22, 2010 we legally adopted her as shown in the picture above, I will always be her mom and Steve will always be her dad, but we will never be her first.
Steve, Katrina, Joshua, Jared, Jacob and Nevaeh live in Southern California. If you would like to read more about their foster care adventure, you can visit them at http://makingmanymemories.blogspot.com/
by admin
NEW FOSTER BABY
Friday night was date night! We had child care arranged and were looking forward to a nice dinner together. Something Foster Dad and I rarely get to do having 3- and 1-year-old boys. I also had a very busy weekend planned. But when you are a foster home – your plans (and sometimes your entire life) can change with 1 phone call!
{Read how my life changed forever on March 4, 2008}
A 4-month-old baby boy needed a place to stay! I just couldn’t say “NO”!
He has been a challenge: the wailing the first night in unfamiliar surroundings is the absolute worst.
However, he is now adjusting well (since we began feeding him with a Dr. Brown’s bottle) and giving us smiles and giggles! He will be moving to another foster home in a few days.
I HEART FACES
On Saturday afternoon, I had the privilege (by winning) of attending the I Heart Faces Dream BIG photography workshop.
(Foster Dad had to juggle 2 little ones – as Stinkpot spent the day with his cousins in Fort Worth)
I learned how to actually use manual mode on my DSLR Canon Rebel XS. Thanks, Michelle!
If you follow this blog, you know that I like to participate in the I Heart Faces weekly challenges. This week’s challenge is orange. To make it fun – see the last 3 years of Stinkpot at the pumpkin patch.
SHUTTERFLY HOUSE PARTY
On Sunday, I hosted a House Party sponsored by Shutterfly. Here’s my BEAUTIFUL niece, Jennifer, giving a BIG shout-out to Shutterfly for the FREE photobook!
HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST WINNERS
We had 26 entries in our Halloween costume contest and the winners (as chosen by Foster Dad) are…
And the winners EACH win (from Shutterfly, of course) –
8×8 hard cover photo book and 10 photo Christmas cards!!!
GIVEAWAYS
Keep posted this week as we will have spontaneous giveaways to our readers and Facebook fans!
You can win a free photo book by entering our Adoption Celebration giveaway! We have only 25 entries so far! Remember if you follow on Google, subscribe to our newsletter, are a fan on Facebook, – be sure and LEAVE A COMMENT (or 2) HERE to enter!!!
by admin
My 3-year-old JD, is just that – a mess!!!
For 2 days now, we have received a page full of bad behavior listed in detail – hitting, biting, and scratching the teacher, punching and kicking his friends, and other aggressive behavior.
We took him off Singulair for his asthma on October 2nd due to the labeling warnings of mood swings and aggression. He did better at first, but now his behavior is getting worse and worse. He even came at Daddy with his mouth open to BITE him!
Today, I am staying at home with him to:
(a) give the daycare a break;
(b) give JD a break;
(c) make an appointment with a doctor;
(d) possibly look for a more structured daycare.
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Have a blessed week!
by admin
Life with 2 little ones has been crazy busy lately! We are still dealing with behavior issues with Stinkpot even after taking him off his Singulair asthma medication. He also seems to sometimes be jealous of the baby, Lil Bit. I’ve been trying to show Stinkpot lots of individual attention.
Stinkpot went grocery shopping with me on Saturday. I tried to hurry home before naptime but…
I’m also getting ready for Bloggy Boot Camp on Saturday!
by Penelope
OUR LIL ORPHAN
Last Tuesday was a court hearing for Lil Bit, our 13-month-old foster boy. I was out-of-town and so my hubby was there when the judge terminated the birthmother’s parental rights. Our foster baby is now officially half an orphan! I say that since the birthfather has not been located. The State is working with the Mexican consulate to make a good faith effort to locate him. Until then…
MOOD SWINGS
If you follow my blog, our 3-year-old Stinkpot’s strong will has been an incredible challenge for us. Last week was horrible! Again! Temper tantrums, mood swings, and general meanness has made us worry about him. Stinkpot’s birthfamily has a history of mental instability, and we have been seriously discussing taking him to a child psychologist for counseling, not just for him, but for us, in order to deal with him.
However, on Friday, when I went for my annual physical exam, my doctor asked me if I was having any depression or mood swings from Singulair. (“I’m too busy with kids to even think of being depressed” was my reply.)
Since Stinkpot has been taking Singular for his asthma for nearly 2 years now – maybe Singulair could be his issue???
I have a call into his doctor to discuss it!!!
HALLOWEEN
Can you believe it’s less than 4 weeks away? Have you already begun the quest for the perfect Halloween costume for you and your kids? Isn’t this just the cutest costume for less than $10?
Have a great week!
by admin
ADOPTION NEWS
Last Tuesday, we went to court…again. All the paperwork had been signed and sent to the DA for the State. The birthmom was voluntarily relinquishing her parental rights.
When I show up for court, something was amiss. There was NO parking. I walk into the courtroom 10 minutes early. It was PACKED. There was a man up front in his prison garb and a different judge was on the bench.
The baby’sCASAworker walked by. I asked her if this was the right place. “Yes” was her reply. I scanned the courtroom. Our attorney wasn’t there yet so I went outside to wait for him. A minute later, he walked up and as he opened the door to the courtroom stated, “Oh, I forgot that Judge J was going to be here today.”
Our case was second on the docket. And here’s where I became bold. Our attorney was talking to another attorney when the case was called and obviously didn’t hear that. I snapped my fingers at him to get his attention. He was quite taken aback that I had snapped at him, but admitted he didn’t hear.
The State took the stand and testified on how Lil Bit was doing in his current placement with us. Lil Bit’s caseworker was not there and so it was her supervisor on the stand. She stated some things that weren’t true saying that Lil Bit had been placed with us from the hospital and that he had been evaluated by Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) since he wasn’t walking at 13 months of age.
She then testified, “Adoption is the current plan.” NO mention of the relinquishment paperwork! The next court date would be in December.
Here’s where paying an attorney $200 an hour can pay off. He clarified that Lil Bit had not been placed with us from the hospital, but upon removal. “Judge, we have relinquishment papers that have been signed by all the parties and would like to seek termination of parental rights.”
The DA then stated, “I haven’t seen them.” Ah, the efficiency of government….
Now, we go back to court tomorrow. However, I have an important business meeting out of town tomorrow so my hubby, Steve, is going to have to show up if…..
RUNNING
That is how the bowels have been going in our home. When I picked up Lil Bit from day care Friday, his caregiver stated that his last movement had been runny. Yew!
Three out of four family members had to deal with that this weekend. Poor Lil Bit has been on a rice cereal, bananas, apple juice and Pedialyte diet all weekend. Last night, he made a disgusting sound as he was crawling across the floor. It was if a sound effects engineer from Hollywood had created that disgusting sound.
So if he’s not better today, yet another trip to the doctor. And possibly Steve staying home with Lil Bit tomorrow and only our attorney going to court…
Did we give Lil Bit the right diet? Do you know of any remedies for a 1-year-old?
AVERSION TO PINK
Last week, we received a call about a 5-year-old boy that needed a permanent family. He was originally placed with a family member that wasn’t going to pass their home study. He would need a foster family willing to adopt.
With 2 boys already, especially with Stinkpot’s defiant streak and possible hyperactivity, we wanted to be cautious with what would be our final adoptive placement.
I requested to see any paperwork on the child before making a decision. That was over a week ago. Still no word…
Is pink just not in our future???
by admin
ADOPTION NEWS!
We are going to court tomorrow! Yeah! We are moving, albeit, slowly, toward adoption of our 1-year-old foster boy, Lil Bit.
The birthmother has signed the paperwork for relinquishment of her parental rights. Everyone except her and the district attorney has signed the agreement for birthmother contact. [With advice from our attorney, we will send pictures and an update every May, and she is allowed a 3 hour visit in August with 30 days written notice. If she defaults the first year, there will be no subsequent visits.]
Hoping that the judge will order the termination of parental rights so Lil Bit’s case will be transferred to the adoption unit.
REUNITED (and it feels so good)
This weekend, I crashed attended the Class of 1980 reunion from my high school. The organizers had opened the reunion to classes of 1978-1982, but I did get a personal invitation from a couple of the organizers. Thanks Brenda and David!
Here’s a picture of us that attended the same school all 12 years – can you find me?
STINKPOT SMIRKS!
Stinkpot’s typical smirk – entered in this week’s IHeart Faces challenge |
If you’ve been following a while, you know that my hubby, Steve, and I are extremely frustrated with potty training our 3-year-old Stinkpot! {he believes potties are for sissies} Just this week, I asked him if he needed to use the potty. He looks at me with his typical smirk and says, {get this} –
“No, I poop in my pants. Ha! Ha!”
This is going to be some journey….
YOU have a great week!
Come back later this week for a great giveaway!
by admin
This weekend, my hubby and I had Date Night – to a football game! How romantic is that? Needless to say, I became bored. I began messing with my camera, looking through old pictures, messing with the settings, and then, OH NO!!!!
I somehow reformatted the memory card and lost EVERY picture!!! I tried not to panic at the game. Although I hadn’t backed up in a while, I still had a number of photos on my computers. And perhaps, the photos were on the memory card and the camera just wasn’t reading them.
The next morning I checked out the memory card and ALL. THE. PICTURES. ARE. GONE.
So my #1 top pick for Must-Have computer programs is –
Straight out of camera |
I love how I can improve my snapshots and make them better. Check out how I improved this snapshot of Stinkpot learning to ride his tricycle.
I entered this photo in this week’s
I Heart Faces “Vroom!” challenge.
Cropped w/ cars removed |
Have a great week!