Foster2Forever

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First Blogiversary, a Makeover and Custody Update

TODAY IS THE FIRST BLOGIVERSARY OF THE FOSTER2FOREVER BLOG!

I began this little blog last year to share stories and pictures to our family and friends. But as time went on, to my surprise, friends began asking more and more questions about our experience as foster parents. They wanted to know the “real stories” of foster parenting.  That is how this blog morphed from just a family blog to Foster2Forever.

BLOG MAKEOVER

In celebration of the blogiversary, the blog received a makeover! With the help of Amber from Stolen Moments Design, Foster2Forever has a new look! (But it is still a work in progress) What do you think?  You can check out Amber’s designs in the ScrapMatters store for your custom blog wear design.

Plus, Foster2Forever now has a Facebook page! Check out the a badge on the right side bar. Now, you can just click on the badge and “like” Foster2Forever on Facebook. How cool is that?

CUSTODY UPDATE ON OUR FOSTER BABY

Some of you have been asking about last week’s permanency meeting in the custody struggle with Lil Bit, our 10-month-old foster baby. Here’s the Reader’s Digest version: It was an informal, casual, routine status meeting. The mentally-challenged birth mother showed that she is working hard to do everything on the permanency plan checklist to get back custody of Lil Bit. The State does not believe that she can care for Lil Bit by herself. The current plan for Lil Bit is relative adoption. The birth mother and grandmother oppose relative adoption and support us adopting Lil Bit. Another court hearing will occur before September 22nd. Lil Bit will stay with us in the meantime. I will post more details next week!

LAURA BUSH BOOK REVIEW

I finally read my autographed copy of Spoken from the Heart signed by Laura Bush, the former First Lady herself! (I had to stand in line for over an hour for this!)

I was fascinated to discover that, like me, by marrying later in life, she and George had struggled to conceive. They even had an application for adoption at the Gladney Center, when they discovered Laura was pregnant with the twins. (unlike me).

This is what other blogs are saying about Spoken from the Heart:

Susan from Thoughts from Over the Rainbow:
“I was moved by how poignantly she describes her heartache when she was unable to conceive in early marriage. She says that there is no word in the English language to mourn absence. She says, “For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like a silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that was never held?”.”

Laura Gerold from Laura’s Reviews: 
“Laura Bush writes the story of her life starting from the very beginning and through the move back to Texas after the end of George Bush’s presidency. I found her entire story intriguing, and was a great modern history. The book seemed to show me what I had always thought; Laura Bush is the kind of person I would like to sit down with for dinner and chat with.”

Have you read Laura Bush’s book?

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PERMANENCY FOR OUR FOSTER BABY

Wednesday is a big day! We have been invited to the permanency conference for our 10-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit.  A permanency conference is a meeting that the State holds to discuss a plan for permanency for a foster child with the involved parties.

The first permanency conference is held when a child is first removed, where the plan for permanent placement is almost always reunification with the parents. In this meeting, everything the parent has to do to be reunited with their children is discussed with all the tasks spelled out for them.

Another is held later, especially if the parent has not complied with the permanency plan. My husband and I showed up for one with another foster child, where the case worker didn’t think we should attend and sent us on our way since the State was going to discuss terminating the mother’s parental rights. (She had disappeared for a month and a half on a drug binge)

Remember, our strange day in court last month, where we showed up expecting a hearing on whether or not the baby stays with us or moves to his great-aunt’s home? With the CASA and baby’s ad litem attorney pushing for a familial placement with the great-aunt, we were preparing to pack the baby’s things and say good-bye. We were shocked when the recommendation from the State and CASA was for the baby to remain with us until another hearing in September!

However, last week, through our attorney, I received the status report from the State on this case. The State is moving for terminating the mother’s parental rights!  We had no idea!  The mother is mentally-challenged and recently moved back in with her abusive grandmother. She has lived in 4 places in 6 months.

Another important thing we learned from the status report is that there is a cousin wanting custody of Lil Bit.

A list of those in line for Lil Bit:

  • Lil Bit’s great-aunt – barely passed home study due to previous investigations, but State and others are recommending this familial placement for Lil Bit
  • US – foster parents for most of the 10 months of Lil Bit’s life
  • The Cons – has Lil Bit’s 5 other siblings and is collecting a disability check on ALL of them (actually told State investigator that they would get Lil Bit by buying the mother “a shiny, new cell phone”)
  • AND NOW, A COUSIN HAS COME OUT OF THE WOOD WORK!!!
Where were these family members with the last 5 children the mother lost custody of ?
Please say a quick prayer for us Wednesday morning!
“And we know that all things God work together for good to those who love God” – Romans 8:28
Here’s a picture I recently took of our Lil Bit with my 12-year-old puppy that suffers from ADHD/OCD.
Check out the other pet photos at iheartfaces.

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FOSTER BABY 9 , I mean, 10 MONTHS OLD TODAY!

Lil Bit is 9 10 months old today!  But we may have to rename Lil Bit to Lil Chunk. He weighs nearly 23 pounds! Our nearly 3-year-old, Stinkpot, weighs only 29 pounds. He is 9 10 months old today and most of his 12-month clothes are too small!  He only wore these 12-month clothes for 1 month! I guess I’ll get up into the attic next weekend…

Did any of your kids grow this fast???

Update on Lil Bit’s case — We received a notice for a permanency conference in 2 weeks. We have no idea what this is about. Our guess is maybe the State is moving toward terminating the mother’s rights, or it could be that the State wants to discuss how to protect Lil Bit if he is moved to his great-aunt’s home.  We received a notice of discovery from the mother’s attorney so it might be the former.

Lil Bit’s new case worker will return to the office on Monday so we will invite her to visit our home so that we can meet her and possibly learn more about the status.

Y’all have a great weekend with your family!
Hugs!
p.s. I had to correct the blog this morning, as my wonderful husband so gently reminded me that Lil Bit is 10 months old today and not 9 months old as I had previously posted…you know, I am an Aggie.

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A STRANGE DAY IN COURT FOR OUR FOSTER BABY

Today we went to court in regard to the placement of our 9-month-old foster baby, Lil Bit.  In December, he was placed with us as a legal-risk placement meaning that, at the time, there was no foreseeable family members for placement and the mother’s parental rights had been terminated with her previous 5 children.

As foster parents, we had “intervened” with the court in the placement of this baby with an aunt of the mother.  You can read more of the details of the case on this post.

I have not been optimistic. Everyone seemed to be wanting this baby to go live with his great-aunt. In fact, when the Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) had visited last week, her last remark to me was: “he’s young, he’ll assimilate easily.”

Today was NOTHING what I expected. The baby’s case was called second on the docket.

The CPS case worker was called to the stand. She was asked how the mother was doing and she stated that she was currently working services.  The baby’s ad litem attorney asked if CPS was still looking at placing the baby with his great-aunt and her reply was yes.

My attorney showed me a report from the CASA. He instructed me to look at the Recommendations on the last page. #3 stated: “The child should remain in his current placement.”

The judge then ruled that Lil Bit would remain in his current placement (WITH US)!

The next hearing is set for September.

WOW!  All I can say is…the miracle of prayer!
I want to say a HUGE THANKS to all our prayer warriors out there!!!

Y’all have a great week!
Hugs!

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I HEART MY FOSTER BABIES!!!

Tomorrow is the big day!  Tuesday, May 25th is when we go back to court to see if we will keep our Lil Bit, or if he will be placed with a great aunt.  I am not optimistic. CPS wants him with family – the baby’s ad litem attorney wants him with family – the baby’s Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) wants him with family.  However, the birthmother does NOT want him with family. You can read the drama details of the last hearing on this post.

If the judge rules for Lil Bit to go, my husband & I can use this reprieve to reconnect & regroup for our next placement.

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God” – Romans 8:28

And for the IHeartFaces yellow challenge this week, here is a picture of our very first foster baby that was placed with us – now, this picture is 2 years later & he is now adopted.  He is such a Stinker!

Y’all have a great week enjoying your loved ones!
Hugs!
~penny

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ANOTHER COURT HEARING ON OUR FOSTER BABY

Many times when a child is placed in foster care, it is because there isn’t any stable family members available to provide a safe environment for the child.  However, albeit rarely, family members may argue over who will get to keep the child. This is quickly becoming the case with our 9-month-old, Lil Bit.

After having her rights terminated on 5 previous infants, the birthmother is actually working to reclaim custody of Lil bit; however, she does have an uphill battle considering that she is mentally-challenged.
Amazingly, while Lil Bit is in foster care, the birthmother does NOT want Lil Bit placed with any of her family members. She has actually sided with our family over hers in court. However, her first choice is for Lil Bit to be placed with her friends that are raising Lil Bit’s siblings – all 5 of them.  (I’ll call them the Cons) However, since the Cons are no relation to Lil Bit and haven’t even met him, the judge had previously ruled that the Cons do not have any legal rights to the child.

We have a hearing set for next Tuesday, May 25th, to determine whether the Lil Bit will go live with his great-aunt (against the birthmother’s wishes) or whether he will remain with us.

But that blew up a couple of weeks ago. I was driving through rural Texas for work, and my cell phone beeped that I had a message.  The voice mail was from none other than Lil Bit’s case worker (I’ll call her AB). She wanted to visit our home that afternoon. I was ticked! Why?

AB had finally set up her first home visit in the 4 months since we’d had the baby for the week before – and never showed! No phone call, nothing! I even called the next day to finalize arrangements for Lil Bit’s dental appointment for the next week, and AB didn’t even mention her missed visit.

And now she wanted us to drop everything for her convenience. I returned her call the next morning and invited her to come to our home that night. Ha! A Friday night! Plus the maid would have just cleaned that afternoon! Double ha!

When AB finally arrived for her first home visit, she told us the reason for her expedited visit – there was another court hearing scheduled for the next Tuesday!

At our last custody hearing in March, AB had to give testimony regarding the Cons. (Although their case had already been thrown out by the judge before that hearing, the judge went ahead and allowed Mr. Con to testify since the birthmother’s attorney had called him as a witness since she wants Lil Bit with her other children.)

In AB’s testimony in March, she had stated that the Con’s home had been closed. Apparently, that was the correct terminology to use since the home had only reached the “maximum number of occupants.”

Although Mrs. Con wasn’t at that hearing, she was apparently so upset about AB’s testimony that “trashed their name”, that she exploded at the Regional Director of Family & Protective Services – a special hearing was called.

At our home visit, I asked AB if there was anything that we needed to do or if we needed to attend this special hearing the next Tuesday. She reassured us that there was nothing we needed to do.

However, at 2:45pm on Monday afternoon, AB called and told me that we did, in fact, need to attend the hearing the next morning.

I quickly tried to contact our attorney. I finally tracked him down driving from a deposition in South Texas. I quickly briefed him on the hearing. He was livid that, being the attorney on record, he hadn’t received the required 3-day hearing notice. Not only very frustrated for the lack of hearing notice, but my lack of knowledge on the details of this hearing, and also his lack of cell phone coverage in the Texas coastal plains. {can you hear me now?}

The next morning our attorney attended this joke of a hearing – it was in the judge’s chambers only – nothing in the legal record.

During the discussions, our attorney did have to remind everyone that the testimony regarding the Cons occurred AFTER the judge had already thrown out their case when AB testified.

The judge stated that to resolve the issue, Child Protective Services (CPS) could put a memo in the legal record; but, the next custody hearing for Lil Bit would still occur on May 25th.

Whew! What a mess! It’s hard to believe that when Lil Bit was removed from the birthmother, CPS was looking for a legal risk home to adopt this beautiful baby boy.

As we approach next Tuesday’s hearing date, how much are you willing to wager that the Cons will be in the courtroom, still trying to stake their claim on Lil Bit? Will Lil Bit’s great-aunt show up to this hearing? If she does show up, will the judge award custody to his great-aunt?  CPS always prefers familial placements.  {read my first post on the custody of Lil Bit}

We are grateful for your continued prayers!
Hugs!
~penelope

{all photos excepts Lil Bit’s gorgeous eyes are from
Flickr’s Creative Commons group
– please click on the photos to visit their wonderful works of art}

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UPDATE ON LIL BIT (Part 5) – HOSPITAL STAY

A few weeks ago, we had yet another health scare with Lil Bit (our 8-month-old foster baby). I had noticed that he was beginning to wheeze again. We gave him a breathing treatment of albuteral with his nebulizer, and began watching him closely.

Late that evening, after the other kids had gone to bed, he was becoming extremely fussy and crying out. His breathing was worse. Looking at his chest, I noticed that he was “retracting” (the skin was pulling in & out between the ribs with each breath). The scariest part was when I looked at his round, little face — he was turning BLUE!!!

With tears in my eyes, I sped to the hospital with him crying out the 10-minute drive. I was so scared & trying to comfort him in the back seat with tear-soaked words. I drove over 50 mph through a residential zone & ran 2 red lights. I didn’t care – I just wanted to get Lil Bit to the hospital!

I pulled up to the ER & frantically rushed inside.

Something was different — Would you believe it?

This is the moment Lil Bit stopped crying.

I immediately told the young man at intake how this baby I was holding was struggling to breathe. The young man looked at this little angel quietly lying there and calmly replied,

“Please fill out this form, and I will need a copy on your insurance card.”

“Uh, sure,” I sheepishly replied.

I self-consciously picked up Lil Bit to find a seat in the crowded waiting room as everyone was quietly watching me. (I actually believe I heard an IV drip down the hall.) It was as if everyone’s eyes were saying, “What a nutcase of a mother – wait your turn.”

Just then, before I had made my way across the room, Lil Bit began wailing again. Strong & LOUD! Not that I wanted him to cry, but it did get the attention of a nurse that rushed to us.

“Let’s check his oxygen level. Come with me!”

By this time, Lil bit was really screaming now! With his arms & legs flailing about, it took several trys to get any type of reading for his oxygen — finally 92%

“Let’s find an exam room so the doctor can see him,” the nurse told another.

We quickly got settled into the ER exam room & them we had to..
WAIT
Doctor exam
WAIT
Blood tests
WAIT
Chest x-ray
WAIT
IV (this is the worst with an infant)
Steroid injection
WAIT
Breathing treatment
WAIT

DIAGNOSIS
Bronchialitis

At 2 a.m., the doctor returns and says, “He can go home now.”

WAIT

45 minutes later, as the nurse begins to take the IV out of Lil Bit’s arm, I exclaimed, “Look at his chest!” He was retracting again.

The nurse rushed to get the doctor. From the doorway, the doctor said, “Let’s go ahead & admit him.”

WAIT

At 5 a.m., we finally arrived at our room on the Pediatric floor of the hospital. We could finally get some sleep!

WAIT

30 minutes later, the nurses had completed the admissions paperwork and lowered the lights as they left the room.

Lil Bit & I finally slept….HARD!

The treatment Lil Bit received worked wonders!
His breathing improved tremendously throughout the day.
Lil Bit was released from the hospital late that afternoon.

I’ve since requested that Lil Bit be referred to a pediatric pulmonologist (worked great for Stinkpot). No one is balking at this request; in fact, the doctor and insurance company have been very helpful with the referral.

Lil Bit is on his way to receiving specialized care to prevent these health scares in regard to his breathing.

Have a great week enjoying your family!
Hugs to y’all!
~penny
http://txpenelope.blogspot.com

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UPDATE ON LIL BIT (Part 4) – Another Hospital Visit

Thanks to an obstinate dairyman, I had a meeting scheduled out-of-town at 4 pm on Good Friday. Making lemonade out of lemons, my family traveled out of town with me on our way up to the Metroplex to visit cousins during the Easter holiday weekend.

That night, Lil Bit began coughing a horrible cough throughout the night. I called the local hospital to see if he could get RSV again (he was hospitalized with it for 4 days in February). “Yes!” was the reply. At 4 o’clock in the morning I dressed and headed to the small-town ER with Lil Bit coughing the entire way.

My thoughts were racing – if Lil Bit needs to be hospitalized:

  • Can I take him to the hospital back home or would they want him to stay here?
  • Would he have to ride in an ambulance as Stinkpot did last time he was hospitalized?
  • How long would we have to stay in this small-town hospital?
  • Would he need to spend another 4 days in the hospital like the last time he had RSV?

I arrived at the ER and the doctors were quick to examine him. The doctor’s thought was that with his throat being so red that he may have strep throat. The nurses came in and tested him for strep & RSV.
The tests results came back quickly: No strep, no RSV, just a common cold. YEAH! We can leave!
When I got back to the hotel, everyone was up & ready for breakfast. Ready for an Easter egg hunt!
A funny thing did happen in this small-town hotel though. I thought it only happened in the movies, but….
the elevator broke down with my kids inside!!!
After that fiasco, we finally were able to head to my sister’s house & the cousins had such a good time together on their Easter egg hunt. They were so proud of their findings!!


Have a great week with your family!
Hugs to y’all!

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BABY FOR FOSTER CARE ONLY…LATER ADOPTED!

On Tuesday, March 4, 2008 at around 3pm, I received a call from CPS for an 8-month-old baby boy that needed a foster home. “Foster only“, she repeated twice. “Sure!” was my quick response.

If you recall, that was election day. My husband & I were planning to attend our precinct convention that evening & were excited about the possibility of attending the Texas Republican convention again, this time in a presidential election year.However, this call from CPS changed our focus from that night forward.

A CPS investigator from an adjacent county arrived at our home at 6:45 that Tuesday evening carrying in her arms the cutest baby boy. His bright eyes lit up as he smiled at us for the first time. His bottom 2 teeth gleaming. He was wearing an olive corduroy jacket over his navy onesie with the cutest navy & white striped pants. He was wearing navy tennis shoes! So adorable!


I can only rely on my memory as I didn’t have the foresight to grab my camera.
(A mistake I haven’t made again!)

As the CPS investigator began telling us the story on this baby, we were thinking “how can anybody neglect a baby that way?” He came with next to nothing & had been kept in his car seat & dirty diapers. What a horrible diaper rash he had! (This is one reason we are having such a difficult time potty-training him now!) He was 8 months old & couldn’t sit up or even roll over! He was also very sick. (Look at those poor little sick eyes!)

JD’s sick little eyes when he arrived

That first night was TORTURE! He was so congested that he could only sleep 15 minutes at a time – ALL NIGHT LONG! It was the most exhausting night of my life!

The next morning I drove 1-1/2 to pick up my mother-in-law to help me. I had no idea how to care for an infant! (When pregnant, you have nearly 8-9 months to prepare.) I was an instant Mommy!
For the next 2 weeks, we had DAILY trips to Walmart to pick up some type of baby paraphernalia that we needed. I was absolutely, totally FRAZZLED for at least 6 weeks solid – overwhelmed by the incredible responsibility of instant motherhood!
As time went on, it became more apparent that this baby wouldn’t be going back to his mother. He did have a full brother 2 years older that was living with his paternal grandmother. The baby would have been sent to live with his grandmother, but she was already raising SIX of her other grandchildren!
Once the mother’s rights were terminated, the grandmother realized that we could provide more for the baby than she could & decided to allow us to adopt him.
Here he is on the day we adopted him!
What a handsome little man he is!
What a blessing he has been to our lives!

I’m Clever

Sway