Foster2Forever

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Foster Baby Arrives! Then Adopted!

On March 4, 2008 at around 3pm, I received a call from the State for an 8-month-old baby boy that needed a foster home. “Foster only“, she repeated twice. “Sure!” was my quick response.

If you recall, that was presidential primary election day. My husband & I were planning to attend our precinct convention that evening & were excited about the possibility of attending the Texas Republican convention again, this time in a presidential election year.

However, this call from the State changed our focus from that night forward.

A State investigator from an adjacent county arrived at our home at 6:45 that Tuesday evening carrying in her arms the cutest baby boy. His bright eyes lit up as he smiled at us for the first time. His bottom 2 teeth gleaming. He was wearing an olive corduroy jacket over his navy onesie with the cutest navy & white striped pants. He was wearing navy tennis shoes! So adorable!


I can only rely on my memory as I didn’t have the foresight to grab my camera.
(A mistake I haven’t made again!)

As the State investigator began telling us the story on this baby, we were thinking “how can anybody neglect a baby that way?” He came with next to nothing & had been kept in his car seat & dirty diapers. What a horrible diaper rash he had! (This is one reason we are having such a difficult time potty-training him now!) He was 8 months old & couldn’t sit up or even roll over! He was also very sick. (Look at those poor little sick eyes!)

That first night was TORTURE! He was so congested that he could only sleep 15 minutes at a time – ALL NIGHT LONG! It was the most exhausting night of my life!

The next morning I drove 1-1/2 to pick up my mother-in-law to help me. I had no idea how to care for an infant! (When pregnant, you have nearly 8-9 months to prepare.) I was an instant Mommy!
For the next 2 weeks, we had DAILY trips to Walmart to pick up some type of baby paraphernalia that we needed. I was absolutely, totally FRAZZLED for at least 6 weeks solid – overwhelmed by the incredible responsibility of instant motherhood!
As time went on, it became more apparent that this baby wouldn’t be going back to his parents. He did have a full brother 2 years older that was living with his grandparents. The baby would have been sent to live with his grandparents, but they were already raising SIX of their other grandchildren!
Once the parental rights were terminated, the grandparents realized that we could provide more for the baby than they could & decided to allow us to adopt him.
What a handsome little man he has become!
foster infant child kid adopting adopted
As challenging as our JD has been, he has been an amazing blessing in our lives!
Have a great weekend!

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When a Foster Baby is Hospitalized

I was right… Our 17-month-old foster baby, Lil Bit, developed pneumonia. I took him to the doctor last Friday with a fever; however, the doctor diagnosed him with a common cold and sent us home for the weekend.

He had the fever all weekend so I returned back to the clinic on Monday.
“This baby has RSV. Let’s send him to the hospital.”
A chest x-ray then confirmed that it had developed into pneumonia.

Our Valentine’s Day was spent in the hospital with a sick baby and a restless preschooler.

In the last few weeks, our family has dealt with the flu, record low temperatures complete with snow and cabin fever, Mommy’s sinus infection and my systemic allergic reaction to an antibiotic.
As a couple, we felt exhausted, discouraged, and alone.

Lil Bit was on oxygen during the night and recovered quickly.
He is now home and doing well with antibiotics and breathing treatments.
I am also on the rebound, both physically and emotionally. (Maybe I’ll try and jog tomorrow?)

“I will refresh the weary and restore tired souls.” ~ Jeremiah 31:25

{I am in the process of moving this site to a dot com!!! https://foster2forever.com Go take a peek!}

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Am I Harboring an Illegal Immigrant?

Living in Texas, illegal immigration is a HUGE controversial topic. Especially, since April when Arizona passed their stringent illegal immigration law. With a third of the Texas population being Hispanic, our Tex-Mex culture inundates us here. So much, that we don’t really think much about whether someone is here legally or not.

How does illegal immigration affect us personally?
Our 17-month-old foster baby, Lil Bit, was born in Mexico and brought back to Texas by his birthmother.

WHY? Because the State has removed so many children from the birthmother, she cannot give birth in this area without the hospitals contacting the State for removal. Before giving birth, the birthmother (a U.S. citizen) fled to Mexico with the Mexican birthfather and gave birth to our Lil Bit in Mexico. So, Lil Bit is “officially” recognized as a Mexican citizen with a Mexican birth certificate.

MexicoThis does complicate matters in that he is not considered a U.S. citizen.  (Dual citizenship has recently become discouraged by U.S. policy.)

The birthmother has voluntarily relinquished her parental rights; however, the State has to also remove the birthfather’s parental rights before Lil Bit will be officially available for adoption.

The problem is that the birthfather is somewhere in Mexico and must be given notice before the State can legally terminate his rights. Another problem is that the mentally-challenged birthmother cannot remember where he lives. So the Mexican consulate is now trying to locate a man with a fairly common Hispanic name somewhere in Mexico.

Another court date is scheduled for next month. We anticipate that the birthfather’s parental rights will be terminated at this hearing. Then Lil Bit will officially be an orphan and available for adoption.

Because Lil Bit is not “officially” a U.S. citizen, this will make our eventual adoption of him quite a bit more complicated — more like an international adoption. Although, he is considered a Mexican national without a green card, the State does have custody of him; thus, our Lil Bit will NOT be deported. Whew!

The State is currently working on his application for U.S. citizenship.

Who knows when the courts will “officially” name Lil Bit as our son – what we know is that Lil Bit already IS our son!

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Use Playful Scenarios to Get Your Defiant Child to Cooperate

Day 33 and we feel as if we are making no progress!
Our defiant 3-year-old, Stinkpot, is challenging us to no end.

The Karate KidToday, I had to carry him kicking, screaming and hitting me in the face into his karate class. Once he finally calmed himself down, he had a GREAT time! However, once the class ended, he ran around everywhere and was demanding a helmet. I had to carry him out kicking and screaming.

Same thing at home. Refused to eat dinner and demanding he was hungry for cake. We are so discouraged!

Today, before leaving for karate class, his Football Guys (which are a GREAT toy for creative play) were strewn all over the living room. As usual, he refused to pick them up. So I began to race him to each piece that would be thrown away if I reached it first. We were laughing as we raced and had the toys picked up in no time.

Today, I learned that by using playful scenarios, Stinkpot will inadvertently cooperate. Am I teaching him responsibility or just trying to keep the peace? Right now, the latter.

We are so tired of our home being a war zone.

NEWS
Be sure and visit our fellow foster mom in Hawaii – She has BIG news on her website Footprints.

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Day 18 – 365-Day Transformation: Give Challenges to a Strong-Willed Child

On Day 18 of our 365-Day Transformation Project, we enrolled him in an educational basketball program called Teams of Tomorrow.

Our hard-headed 3-year-old, Stinkpot, was excited about playing basketball. He is an incredible athlete and can amazingly dribble a basketball better than kids twice his age.

Our prayer is that the challenge and incentive of basketball will help channel his energy and behavior toward healthy pursuits, instead of the aggression that seems to rear its ugly head. 

Has giving a challenge to your strong-willed child helped with behavior issues?

5 Minutes for Mom
Angry Julie Monday
SuperMom

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365-Day Transformation: Word{ful} Wednesday

Our 3-year-old, Stinkpot, is the most strong-willed, demanding, hard-headed, stubborn, ornery, obstinate, cantankerous little rascal you will ever meet. He is impossible!

He even bosses us, as parents, around. “No, drive this way!” “Put that over there!” “No, I’ll do it!”

And when he doesn’t get his way, watch out! His tirade jumps full steam ahead. He becomes this loud, fit-throwing, aggressive little monster.

He has now become so aggressive, his reputation in our area precedes him since getting kicked out of TWO, yes TWO, daycares. We struggle to find anyone in their right mind willing to take on the wrath of Stinkpot.

Not too happy after getting hit in the eye with a baseball
Don’t get me wrong, he is an extraordinary work of God, beautifully and perfectly made.
Gorgeous, athletic and smart!

God has a perfect plan for our precious Stinkpot. Our job as his parents, is to train him in the right way and when he is old, he will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

Our Stinkpot is determined, head-strong, persistent, and tenacious. These very characteristics that are driving us crazy as parents, will be incredible, if directed toward a life with our Lord Jesus Christ. WOW! Can you imagine the treasures that would be stored in Heaven for our Stinkpot?

So we begin a journey. A LONG journey – toward transformation. January 1st was the first day of our first 365-day journey to intently focus on our Stinkpot’s transformation.

We are rolling up our sleeves and delving into God’s Word and any parenting resources that He lays out for us. Each step will be documented along this journey.

Focusing on transformation of our Stinkpot will be difficult if I am also working full-time; therefore, I will be taking family leave and working part-time (just to keep things going at the office and pay for our health care).

Please pray for our family!

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MISCELLANY MONDAY

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase lettersTHAT SURGERY
Thanks for all the well wishes for our 16-month-old who is recovering from THAT surgery. The second day when the local anesthesia wore off was the worst pain for him. After that, he has been in good spirits and even playing outside. He can’t bathe for a few more days and he does NOT like to shower.

STINKPOT’S SURGERY
We opted to NOT have tubes put in Stinkpot’s ears this week. It was just too difficult for FosterDad with 2 little ones at home by himself. (I came home Wednesday after work and FosterDad was still in his pajamas and quite flustered)

STINKPOT’S BEHAVIOR
Our 3-year-old’s behavior is still a challenge! He has now been kicked out 2 day cares for aggression.Yesterday, he had a knife from the silverware drawer and was threatening to cut us. “I cut you!”

MY DECISION
I have made the decision to stay home with him. I will work part-time during Mother’s Day Out and use family leave. (I haven’t told my boss yet) The child needs a LOT of TLC and individual attention, and he just won’t get that at a day care from 2 workers with 23 other kids. The Mother’s Day Out has just a few kids for the short time he is there.

2011 GOALS/RESOLUTIONS
I had a huge list of goals to share with you, for health, kids, marriage, faith, blogging but given the issues with Stinkpot, I have thrown those all out.

2011 will be defined for me by one word! Everything will revolve around the word: TRANSFORMATION.

MY PRAYER
LORD,
TRANSFORM me;
TRANSFORM my child;
TRANSFORM our family.

NEXT STEPS
I have begun a 365-day Transformation Project.

Praying, focusing on HIM,
Praying, focusing on Stinkpot,
Praying, researching child behavior,
Praying, trying a new tip or technique every day,
Praying, documenting Stinkpot’s actions and reactions,
Praying….

Will you pray for us during this journey?  Can you recommend any books, websites, etc.?

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THAT Surgery – Wordless Wednesday

Yesterday, our 16-month-old foster boy survived THAT surgery. (Genesis 17:11)
In case you didn’t know, Lil Bit was born in Mexico.
Nothing to eat since Monday night. Drank 5 ounces of water at 6 a.m. First appointment at 9:30 a.m. Surgery postponed until 2:30 p.m.!!!

Lil Bit was one thirsty and hungry baby!!!

We finally got home around 6 p.m. last night.
Although tired, we had a great night at home together.
However, the local wears off today. Yikes!

Fortunately, he’s not talking yet to tell us what he thinks of us doing this to him. What do you think he would have to say about this?

Stinkpot is scheduled to get tubes in his ears Thursday (for the THIRD time). Ug!

Wordish Wednesday

 

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Running with Santa

Our 3-year-old, Stinkpot, is the most strong-willed, stubborn, hard-headed, determined little rascal that you can ever meet. He has now gotten kicked out of his SECOND, yes, second day care in a month!  We are beating our heads up against the wall trying to figure out what in the tar nation to do with our little Damien!

However, I am in awe of him!
I’m beaming with pride due to these very characteristics that are causing us so much heart burn.

A few weeks ago, I ran in a 5K Jingle Run (I finished 5th in my old lady division) and entered him in the kids’ 1K Run with Santa.

Here is our Stinkpot ready for the start of the race!
He was so focused on running the race, that he ran smack dab into the photographer!
But he picked himself right up and began running again.
For the entire 1K, he ran until he was tired, then after catching his breath, would begin running again.
He ran the race ALL BY HIMSELF! AT 3 YEARS OLD!
Here he raced Santa (and won)!
What an amazing finish!
This kid will be the death of me!
But wow! With that determination, isn’t he going to be a great attorney someday?

Today I linked up with 5 MINUTES FOR MOM! Add your Wordless Wednesday post below!
Have a very merry Christmas!

I’m Clever

Sway