Foster2Forever

by

Our Foster Child Still Lags Behind

Early Childhood InterventionOur foster child, Lil Bit, turned 2 years old last week!  He has grown so much from that 3-month-old infant brought to us nearly 2 years ago. However, he still seems to be a bit behind other toddlers his age.

Last weekend, we attended a birthday party for his class at day care. All the children in his class have birthdays within a month.  As I was watching the other children at the party, I realized just how far behind the others he actually is.

Although Lil Bit is receiving speech therapy through Early Childhood Intervention, other children his age:

  • Have a much larger vocabulary,
  • Talking in short sentences, and
  • Are in the advanced stages of potty-training.

Also, during the party, he would not let me put him down. (my back is killing me this week from carrying around the 25-pound little tike for 3 hours)

I realize that each child is an individual and develops an their own individual rate.  However, it saddens me for him.

Will he struggle to keep up his entire life or will he eventually catch up?

I realize that God has a perfect plan for our Lil Bit, but I do struggle during the mean time…

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~Jeremiah 29:11

by

Our Foster Baby Talks!

Early Childhood Intervention

We have been concerned about our little foster boy. At 18-months-old, our Lil Bit just wasn’t talking.  He would babble, but would say very few words and rarely call for mama or dada. (At 18 months, Lil Bit should have been saying 8-10 words)

In March, Lil Bit was evaluated by Early Childhood Intervention and was markedly behind in communication. An Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP) was developed to assist us in helping Lil Bit catch up, with an emphasis on speech therapy.

Since then, Lil Bit has had speech therapy twice a month.  Many times, the speech therapist was teaching us techniques to encourage him to talk:

  • Encourage him to say a word when he wants something, such as juice, ball, mama, please, etc.
  • Give him a choice of 2 toys with which to play. “Car or train?” And wait for him to say a word.
  • Praise him enthusiastically when he does say a word, even if it’s not pronounced correctly.

After a few months of speech therapy and working with him, Lil Bit decided to talk! He just started talking. And it’s so stinking cute!!!

  • “Peas!” with his hand on his chest. For Please.
  • “Choo-Choo!” when he sees a train.
  • “Eyeyuyoo!” after I say, “I love you.” Then he gets a big raspberry on his belly. Lots of giggles.
  • “Tee-ta” for his brother’s name. That’s funny.

When I sing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”, Lil Bit will chime in on “star”, “are”, “high”, “sky”!  And he has musical talent just like the rest of us in the family. Ouch!

He says “Amen” when we sing “If You’re Happy and You Know It”

And he tries so hard to sing along with “Hey, It’s Franklin”  when the PBS show begins. All that comes out is “spend” & “you” but not pronounced, more like “eeennn” & “oooooo”.

I’m having such a fun time enjoying him!!! These are very proud mommy moments!

What have been your favorite words or phrases your child has said while learning to talk???

by

Our Foster Baby is a Citizen of the United States!

At approximately 2:30 p.m. on Wednesday, July 20th, our 23-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit, became a citizen of the United States!!!am flag light crossThat means 2 things:

We were hoping to finalize his adoption before Labor Day; however, our caseworker balks at that. Does anything ever move quickly?

Our next course of action is to get our new citizen a Social Security card so that we can file an amended income tax return to claim him as our dependent…

by

Our Foster Home Is Now Under Investigation!!!

If you don’t know already, on the Fourth of July, our 22-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit, fell off the sofa and after an afternoon at the hospital, we discovered he had fractured his elbow.

As a licensed foster home, we reported this injury of our foster child, both verbally and by completing an injury report.  We went through the arduous process of getting him medical care from an orthopedic specialist through Medicaid.

The weekend after this unplanned, busy week was one for our family to relax! Sunday after church, we were all lounging around VERY comfortably.

3:00 p.m. – DING! DONG!

Our 4-year-old, JD, runs to door to answer. ‘Wait!” I exclaimed. FosterDad, comfortable in his boxers, tries to hand the baby to me to make his quick exit out of the living room. I’m handing the baby back.  He’s handing the baby back to me again.  Then I had to grunt, “I don’t have a bra on!“ All while JD is answering the door.

The man at the door was wearing a badge: Texas Department of Children Protective Services from Austin.

“Oh, you’re hear to check on our foster baby.”

“Yes, ma’am.  Is there a room where I can set up my laptop for the interview? I will be interviewing each of you separately.”

“Yes, right this way. Here is the spare bedroom.”

The investigator interviewed FosterDad first. A one-hour interrogation interview.

Then it was my turn for the inquisition interview.  “I will need to record this interview. Do you have an issue with that?”

“No, sir.”

For a State agency, the laptop was very high-tech with a recording program, rotating monitor, and a program and stylus to record signatures onto documents.

I won’t go into too many of the questions, but it was very intense with every little detail being questioned.  “Where were you sitting? What were the others doing? Which way were they facing? What were you reading?”

I felt as if early-onset Alzheimer’s had gotten me at the tender-young age of 46!

After my one-hour ordeal. The investigator asked if JD would talk to him. “You can see.” He questioned JD alone for a few minutes before he closed up shop to leave.

5:50 p.m. Not the relaxing weekend we had planned.

The experience was nerve-racking, not because there was anything wrong, but just because of FEAR.

  • FEAR in knowing that children have been removed from families for less than a broken bone.
  • FEAR that there was a very small possibility that our baby could be removed just a few months before adoption.

Now we are simply waiting for the final report. Our caseworker has indicated that there is no issue, but until then we have to put our faith into this verse:

Fear-not-Isaiah-Bible

by

Our Foster Baby Broke His Arm!!!

foster-child-injury

Foster child playing with a cast

If you follow Foster2Forever on Facebook or Twitter, you know that our Independence Day began with our 22-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit, falling off the sofa.

It was a short fall. A freak accident. However, when he stood up, Lil Bit was holding his right wrist.  FosterDad is a former P.E. teacher and knew something wasn’t right by the way he was holding it.

We were visiting family in East Texas, so we took a trip to the local hospital emergency room.  The x-ray confirmed our fear.  Our baby boy had a fractured elbow.  It was not his wrist, as we first suspected.

However, due to the location of the fracture, the E.R. physician was concerned about it affecting Lil Bit’s arm movement.  She requested that we take Lil Bit to an orthopedic specialist in the next few days. Her concern was that he might have to undergo surgery and physical therapy to prevent problems with mobility.

We arrived home late Monday night and Tuesday morning began all the follow-up to:

  • Report the incident to our foster home case worker, Lil Bit’s caseworker, and a quick FYI to our attorney;
  • Complete a report for “Serious Injury of a Foster Child” to turn into both caseworkers;
  • Call the Medicaid insurance provider (StarHealth) to get a list of orthopedic specialists;
  • Call the list of specialists and learn than none take Medicaid;
  • Make an appointment for out-of-town orthopedic specialist;
  • Visit Primary Care Physician for a referral to the orthopedic specialist;
  • Visit orthopedic specialist!!!

The visit to the orthopedic doctor went better than expected! Another x-ray showed that the bone is healing well and surgery will not be necessary.  A hard cast was put on Lil Bit’s arm, and he returns in 3 weeks to see how it is healing.

For Lil Bit, the broken arm has been more of a nuisance to him than anything. He gets frustrated that now he can’t climb on the couch or sleep tucked on his tummy.  He is eating well with his left hand.  He now has to drink out of a sippy cup with handles.

However, for us, as foster parents, we are not out of the woods. As we are in the final stages of Lil Bit’s adoption, the State is now conducting their followup investigation into the injury.

by

Adoption Postponed. Yet Again!!!

Can you believe that there was yet another mistake in the court termination order that will delay our adoption of our foster baby, Lil Bit???

Apparently, Lil Bit’s full name listed on his Mexican birth certificate has FOUR names instead of the usual first, middle, last. This means that the court order to officially transfer his case to the State agency’s Adoption Division has to be re-done and sent back to the judge to sign AGAIN!

However, there is good news! The INS received Lil Bit’s application for certification of citizenship. Lil Bit will be certified as a citizen of the United States by the end of July!!! Do you think he can learn the Pledge of Allegiance by then? 🙂

On the other hand, there is some not-as-bad news associated with his application. A few months ago, I created a passport-type head shot of Lil Bit for his INS application for his certification of citizenship. I found a really, cute head-and-shoulders pose of him (without a shirt on) sitting in our yard.  I cropped the photo to the correct dimensions and printed.

The staff LOVED the photo – with those chubby cheeks, thick dark hair, and sweet smile, they called him a “total cherub.”

But, guess what? He is sitting in the grass. Not against a white background that is the INS requirement for application photographs.  Ug!

So, with the magic of Photoshop, I will crop Lil Bit from the photo and place him against a white background.  My project for this weekend.

With everything going on with Lil Bit’s case, we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel!

We are on target to adopt our foster child before Labor Day!!!

by

Another Screwup to Postpone Adoption

Can you believe it? Another problem to delay the adoption of our 22-month-old foster child, Lil Bit. Those of you that follow Foster2Forever on Facebook already have heard. For the rest of you…

Last Tuesday afternoon, I was at work concentrating on compiling an annual equipment order, when the alarm on my phone sounded. As I glanced down, I began to panic — a court hearing for Lil Bit in 10 minutes!!!! I quickly shut everything down in my office, and raced to my car to get to the court house about 15 minutes away.

Check out Lil Bit's summer buzz cut! He screamed and lashed about during the entire cut.

I get there at 1:35 p.m. (without getting a speeding ticket – a blessing if you know my driving record). I find the court docket posted and see Lil Bit’s name third on the schedule; however, next to his name a handwritten note “not on CPS list.” I grab the first attorney I see and ask him if that means his case won’t be heard. His reply, “Not necessarily. This case with the same note is going before the judge.”

I’m not sure what to do. I glance in the court room at another case being heard and don’t see the back of anyone’s head that I recognize. I take an overdue potty break, and as I slip out of the restroom, the attorney I spoke with pointed at the court room and said, “Your case.”

I rush into the court room and sit next to my attorney (where did he come from?). The caseworker supervisor for the State of Texas has already been sworn in. She testifies that Lil Bit is doing well and that his case has been transferred to the State’s Adoption Unit. However, once the attorney ad litem begins cross-examining her, the answer has been changed to “the case has been transferred but has not been accepted by the Adoption Unit.”

As caseworker supervisor leaves the stand, my attorney turns to me and asks, “Do you want to testify?” My reply is a simple “no!”

However, my attorney does use the opportunity to request that we be named Joint Managing Conservators with the State of Texas.  The judge rules that and schedules the next hearing for the end of August.

Afterward in the hall, my attorney tells me what really happened in the court room. “They had the wrong kid’s name on the second page of the paperwork, and the Adoption Unit rejected it.”

Yesterday, I received Lil Bit’s correct Final Order of Termination of parental rights, so he is now “officially” recognized as an orphan.

His case can now be accepted and processed by the Adoption Unit.  After that, all we will need is for INS to issue Lil Bit’s certificate of citizenship so we can finalize his adoption.  In short, we are waiting on the U.S. Government – isn’t that just dandy?

We are hoping that we can adopt him before the August court date if his U. S. citizenship is certified by then.  However, we do want to wait until after his second birthday in mid-August so that he will be eligible for subsidies, such as medical insurance, given his delays and health issues.

So will we adopt our Lil Bit in August??? Only the good Lord knows…

“I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

by

SeaWorld and Sesame Street

During Spring Break, SeaWorld San Antonio Texas opened a fantastic new venue – Sesame Street Bay of Play! What an incredible wonder world for the wee ones!  This is where it’s at! SeaWorld wanted to give the characters of Sesame Street a BIG Texas welcome.

We were fortunate enough to be able to attend the Grand Opening of Sesame Street Bay of Play with Elmo, Big Bird, Cookie Monster and a host of Sesame Street friends.

seaworld-sesame-street-bay-of-play-san-antonioStinkpot and I rode a number of the rides together. The merry-go-round is so whimsical and fun – the photo just doesn’t do it justice.

seaworld-san-antonio-bay-of-play

Climbing and sliding for the adventuresome kid!

We stayed and played there until our tummies told us that it was time for lunch.  Not far, we found a great all-you-can-eat pasta & pizza buffet, Rosita’s Buffet. Perfect for the kids and us. And the price was less that $10 per adult and $6 for kids under 9. And it included the refillable fountain drinks! We felt that we got our money’s worth, especially inside a theme park.

seaworld-san-antonio-rositas-cafe

After lunch, we decided to stroll around the park and enjoy a show, or two, or three. Our first show was Azul: Lure of the Sea featuring our beloved sea creatures, dolphins.

seaworld-san-antonio-azul-dolphin-show

Even flying dolphins wouldn’t keep Lil Bit from taking his nap!

We also saw the entertaining Cannery Row Caper featuring sea lions and walruses.

We wanted to watch the special showing of a 4-D movie featuring the Muppets. The movie was aimed at preschoolers so Stinkpot enjoyed it; however, the older kids weren’t as entertained as the little ones. The show has since been replaced by Pirates 4-D. [A 4-D movie is a 3-D movie that adds physical effects such as vibration, air and water. It is a thrilling experience!]

We then went to enjoy one of the last showings of the Shamu show, Believe.  The show began with a trainer coming out and welcoming us to the show. Then — the recorded message came on that said due to threatening weather, the show had been cancelled.  We were surprised by this since there wasn’t so much as a cloud in the sky.  Then another trainer came running up and said, “Sorry folks, we pushed the wrong button.” The audience chuckled, and after a few moments, the show began, for real this time.  A few of the more entertaining elements were not in this Believe show, probably stemming from the death of a trainer at SeaWorld Orlando last year.  The show mainly focused on the splashing the killer whale does with his tail fin. The first 20 rows were drenched! However, toward the end of the show – the electricity went out! In the entire park! Only for a few minutes, but long enough to end the show. We just happened to be at the one show with a rough start and abrupt end.

However, we are excited that the all-new Shamu show, One Ocean, opens this month! We will be returning later this summer to catch this one!

We ended the day back at Bay of Play to play in the water!  We let Stinkpot loose, and he had a ball on the splash pads until closing time, which during spring break was 6 p.m.

We had such a great time that we are planning to return again this summer. Longer hours. A new Shamu show. We can’t wait!

Disclaimer: Although SeaWorld provided us tickets into the park for a video contest, the views and opinions of our experience at SeaWorld are my own.  The opinions in this post were not influenced by the free passes. I was not monetarily compensated since SeaWorld has no idea that I have this website.

by

Open Adoption: Writing to the Birth Family

In foster care adoptions, openness is a rarity and not usually the norm. Usually, birth families lose parental rights for a variety of reasons that make it unsafe to continue contact.  However, our situation is a bit different: our agreement is for a semi-open adoption.

Last September, the birth mother of our 20-month-old foster son, Lil Bit, voluntarily relinquished (signed over) her parental rights. With the advice of an attorney, she negotiated to do so with a legal agreement.  In this agreement, in May of each year, we are to send an update letter with photos. (In August, she may visit Lil Bit with a one-month written notice)

The photos were easy, especially since Shutterfly gave 50 free prints as a Mother’s Day gift to its customers. (Yes, I’m frugal) The difficulties for me lie in writing the update letter.

A few events have occurred regarding Lil Bit I’m not sure the birth family should worry about.  For instance, on Valentines’ Day, Lil Bit was hospitalized again for RSV and pneumonia. Would the birth mother worry about a past health issue after it’s been resolved? Also, Lil Bit is speech-delayed and receiving speech therapy through Early Childhood Intervention (ECI); however, he is beginning to talk more. I want her to know that her precious child is, in fact, doing well.

Dear Friends,

Is is wrong to want her to know only the positive aspects of his life and not include the negatives? What would you include in an update letter to the birth family?

I’m Clever

Sway