Parenting Archives - Page 4 of 18

10:11 pm by Penelope

12 Homemade Halloween Costumes + my DIY Disney Frozen Olaf Costume

Do you need an easy Halloween costume? Are you a fan of Disney’s Frozen? Does “Elsa” need a date for Halloween? This easy DIY Disney Frozen Olaf Halloween costume is simple and would also work great as a Run Disney costume.

SUPPLIES for Hat of DIY Olaf Costume:

White baseball cap
Large googly eyes
Brown pipe cleaners (large)
Orange craft foam (for carrot nose)
Black adhesive felt (for eyebrows)
White felt (for tooth)
Hot glue gun
Black sharpie

My little boy loves his Olaf hat and has worn it on Silly Hat Day at school.

SUPPLIES for Body of DIY Olaf Costume:

White t-shirt
Brown long sleeved t-shirt or leg warmers (for Olaf’s arms)
White baseball pants
Black adhesive craft felt (for Olaf’s coal)
White socks
White shoes

Plus here’s more cute DIY Halloween Costumes!

DIY Pineapple – Sugar Bee Crafts

Pinata Shoes – Morena’s Corner

Easy Mime – Ginger Snap Crafts

Dark Fairy Wings – Crafty Lady Abby

Skein of Yarn – Dukes and Dutchessess

Caps For Sale – Blue i style

No Sew Mermaid Tutu – 365 Days of Crafts

Disney Frozen – Foster2Forever

Plants v. Zombies – Twin Dragonfly Designs

Inside Out Bing Bong – Desert Chica

Princess Anna Apron – Ruffles and Rainboots

Modern Mother Earth – BumbleBree Blog

4:07 pm by Penelope

Staying Calm During a Tantrum

I’ve written before about identifying the emotional triggers that can send a child into a tantrum – a toy doesn’t work a certain way, foods that touch each other on a plate, the word “NO”…

And when the tantrum begins, a parent is always perfectly calm, right?

I don’t know about you, but sometimes my child can certainly push my buttons, and can trigger me into my own “mommy meltdown.”

In the video below, condensed from a livestream, I discuss the importance of remaining calm when your child is misbehaving — plus I discuss the book I’m writing!!!

Video: Staying Calm During a Tantrum

8:28 am by Penelope

Silly Song to Teach Children to Control Emotions

My kids and I loved the Disney/Pixar movie, Inside Out! (Have you read my Inside Out movie review for foster/adoptive parents?)

What makes the Inside Out movie a great tool in parenting is that it gives kids a language to talk about ways to control emotions they are feeling. Getting your children to talk about their emotions can be quite frustrating as a parent.

Here’s a silly song about emotions so you can teach your children various ways to control emotions.

{sung to the tune of If You’re Happy and You Know It}

If you’re JOYful and you know it – Laugh out loud
If you’re ANGRY and you know it – Breathe in deep
If you’re SAD and you know it – You can cry
If you’re SCARED and you know it – Hug your dad

Be sure and read these 8 Tips to Teach Children How to Control Emotions.

If you’d like to laugh at me, here’s my blooper reel from this video.

Remember that activity also helps children regulate emotions. Check out these top toys for active boys (& girls).

Disclosure: I was not compensated for this post; however, the plush toys were purchased via another sponsored post.

9:32 pm by Penelope

What I Learned When I Rode a Roller Coaster with My Son

Now that my son is getting older (he just turned 8) – he recently re-introduced me to the “joy” of riding roller coasters, and at SeaWorld, no doubt!

Did you know SeaWorld rides include roller coasters?

When was the last time you rode a roller coaster? We are talking decades for me! Last time I rode a roller coaster, I had a “Rachel” haircut and my CD collection was comprised of grunge rock bands. Before I tell you what happened after a two decade absence from thrill rides….

SeaWorld has a variety of rides depending on your bravery level or degree that you wish to get wet.

For toddlers and preschoolers, Sesame Street Bay of Play is the SeaWorld attraction must. Plus the little ones can choose to stay dry or get very wet on the splash pad. Check out all the fun this same son had as a 3-year-old when SeaWorld opened Sesame Street Bay of Play a few years ago.

On this trip, both my boys (ages 5 and 8) loved Shamu Express which was a very short, mild ride for preschoolers at least 38 inches tall. A great ride to introduce young kids to roller coaster rides (and stay dry). My son rode Shamu Express a few times, but as an 8-year-old sensory-seeker, he seemed to desire a ride that could give him more of a “thrill.”

Although Journey to Atlantis is part roller coaster and part water ride for those over 39” tall but we really didn’t want to get wet just yet!

Rio Loco is another SeaWorld ride that gets you wet. It’s like a whitewater rafting trip for those over 39” tall and you will get soaked.

Steel Eel on the other hand is strictly roller coaster. Was my 8-year-old ready for this “big kid” roller coaster? Was I?

Our sensory-seeking son was so excited to finally be just tall enough at 48 inches tall to ride his very first roller coaster!!!

And can you guess which parent had the exquisite pleasure of riding the Steel Eel with him?

During this roller coaster feat, I screamed like a hysterical madwoman giving birth to 20-pound quadruplets – the entire ride – up & down & over again! While I was screaming my lungs out as gravity reeked havoc on my senses, my brave little boy quietly smiled and held my hand. My son amazes me! His body enjoyed the sensory stimulation of the roller coaster.

Honestly, Steel Eel has no flips or sharp turns – just those really tall ups and downs – that made this scaredy-cat scream like a banshee.

There’s also the Great White roller coaster ride at SeaWorld! That roller coaster, for those over 52” tall, places you in the seat with your legs dangling down as you go up and down AND upside down. Oh, hell no! I’ll stick with the Steel Eel.

What I learned by riding a roller coaster with my little boy, is that he is quickly becoming a little man right in front of me, and he showed me that bravery doesn’t have an age!

Disclaimer: I purchased tickets for me and my family to attend SeaWorld’s AdventureCon blogging conference in San Antonio and received no compensation for doing so. All opinions about riding roller coasters at my age are my own.

10:26 am by Penelope

The One Thing You MUST Do When Your Child Misbehaves

Remaining calm during times of chaos is THE single important parenting technique you can master.

I’ve discovered that if my child misbehaves in some way, my reaction to the behavior amazingly determines what happens next.

It’s funny how I’ve discovered that I can apply what I learned (and forgotten) in high school science class 20 years ago to parenting my children now. Do you remember Newton’s third law of motion?

“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

And that’s not just true in physics. It’s true in parenting children too!

“Kids act, parents react, kids react.” from No-Drama Discipline

If I scold or reprimand my child in a harsh or mean manner, my child’s fear response kicks in which becomes his trigger for a huge meltdown that can sometimes last for hours.

On the other hand, if I keep my cool, my child might or might not keep his cool. However, if I am not calm in my response to his behavior, you can bet that my child is primed for a meltdown.

You MUST stay calm when your child misbehaves!

Think of it this way: how can we teach our children to stay calm and ask for something nicely, if we, as parents, don’t respond calmly? If our child’s emotions are dysregulated, and then the adult’s emotions become dysregulated — we are not good examples to teach our children how to keep their emotions in check. How can we teach a child to regulate his emotions, if we can’t regulate ours?

Sometimes when our home becomes crazy chaos, I picture a hurricane with the storms raging and things crashing and breaking all around — but then, I remember, there is calm and peace in the eye of a hurricane. As a parent during these chaotic times, you must remain calm like the eye of the hurricane. “Be the eye” I tell myself sometimes. 🙂

As parents, we have to remain diligent in staying calm in response to our child’s misbehavior. And sometimes, it just isn’t easy!

5 Parenting Techniques To Stay Calm When Your Child Misbehaves:

1. Don’t respond to your triggers – I have to make a concerted effort not respond to my triggers. Sometimes, I can do this more easily than others, but sometimes, my downstairs brain is triggered and honestly, I’m not a very good parent during those times.

2. Take a deep breath – Sometimes, I have to just close my eyes and take a deep breath before I respond. Deep breathing has a calming effect and resets the brain allowing us to return to the thinking part of our brain.

3. Don’t say “I told you so” when a child’s misbehavior leads to a natural consequence – What? Are we still in junior high? This type of response is simply taunting a child.

4. Use as few words as possible – When a child is having a tantrum, no reasoning, no yelling “Stop” — that is going to bring a child back to their thinking brain. When a child is misbehaving, we may have a tendency to not only tell them what they did wrong, bring up the last time they misbehaved, what happened before that, why they shouldn’t do that, yada, yada, yada. Stop talking! Kids tune you out anyway. Do you really think that your child is really listening to what you say?

5. Listen to your child – When you remain calm and listen to your child, you are more likely to find out the “real” reason for your child’s behavior. Often what sets off the misbehavior is not the real reason for the emotions your child is feeling. Maybe he is hungry, tired, or just frustrated from something that happened to him at school or daycare. Listen to what your child is saying, not the way he is saying it. Learn how to ask questions to learn more about what’s going on.

Staying calm is critical to figuring out what is the real reason for your child’s misbehavior.

2:05 pm by Penelope

A Fun Way To Teach Children to Control Emotions

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #InsideOutEmotions #CollectiveBias

My kids and I loved the Disney/Pixar movie, Inside Out! (Have you read my Inside Out movie review for foster/adoptive parents?)

What makes the Inside Out movie a great tool in parenting is that it gives kids a language to talk about the emotions they are feeling. Getting your children to talk about their emotions can be quite frustrating as a parent.

And now that Wal-Mart has the Inside Out plush characters, a parent can use them as puppets to get children talking about their emotions.

How can puppets help children talk about their emotions?

Puppets create a playful environment. Play is safety in a child’s eyes. It’s difficult for a child to be guarded in the midst of play. Using puppets to communicate complicated feelings gives a child a safe way to communicate what’s going on with them. During play, children are more willing to express their feelings.

To a child, talking with a puppet can feel safer than speaking with an adult, which can be quite scary.

Tips on using puppets to communicate emotions:

Have the child choose an Inside Out plush toy of an emotion. (Joy, Anger, Sadness, Fear, Disgust) The goal is to have the child become the character and talk as the emotion.
Begin with helping the child tell a story as the emotion. — For example, “My name is ANGER and I get really mad when you don’t give me candy for supper.” (Remember that the emotion is speaking to you and not the child)
Show empathy. “I understand why you would be angry.”
Use open-ended questions in your puppet show to allow the child to lead the discussion.
- What happened when _____?
- Why do you feel _____ (the mood of the puppet he has picked)?
- What did you do when _____?
- Did that make you feel better?
- How do you think that made someone else feel?
- What else could you do?
- How would that make you feel?
Point out that it is okay to have emotions, even if it feels uncomfortable.
Help your child realize that emotions can affect what he does, BUT that he has choices about how to act when having that emotion.
Explain that if he doesn’t like what he is feeling, he can do something — like talking to someone about how he feels.
At the end of each story, discuss with your child ways to cope with each feeling. “When you’re feeling mad, you can take three deeps breaths.” “When feel you sad, it’s okay to cry.“

Also, here’s a song about emotions you can teach your children ways to control emotions.

You can find the Inside Out plush characters at WalMart for only $8.88 each.

Just go to the Toys section of the store

But, remember, the emotion of Sadness can show up anywhere unexpectedly!!! Even in the toy aisle! (He wanted one of these toys for active boys.)

6:48 am by Penelope

Celebrating Amazing Foster Dad of FIVE Little Ones

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #NauticaforDad #CollectiveBias

We became foster parents in 2008 and have fostered 16 kids during that time. As parents of neglected and traumatized kids, our journey has not been easy one. In fact, we’ve had to learn our limits as parents, especially with the placements in the summer of 2012.

My husband was anxiously watching the calendar that school year. Every day that went by was one day closer to his ultimate goal in teaching — early retirement! After teaching special education for the past decade, he was eager to relax at the end of his teaching career.

Not that life at home with our two boys was relaxing. Our 5-year-old forever son, placed with us as an 8-month-old, had been having all sorts of explosive behavior that he had been kicked out of THREE day cares. We were struggling in parenting him, but then again, he’s only five, right? And parenting him with his 3-year-old brother, chaos is expected, right? We were living our normal with our two rambunctious preschoolers.

Suddenly, one day, I received a call asking if we would accept a placement. The placement was a sibling group of THREE – but we only had TWO beds available in our home. As the cloud of guilt overcame any clear thinking – I realized we only needed two beds because, get this – the baby doesn’t need a bed since she will sleep in a crib!

I immediately said “YES” because how heartless can you be to say no to a BABY, right?

In the summer of 2012, our family looked like this: our 5-year-old forever son, 4-year-old foster son, 3-year-old forever son, nearly 2-year-old foster daughter (possibly FASD), and a 9-month-old foster baby!

While I was at my quiet desk job all day, Dad was at home with FIVE kids – 3 rambunctious, quibbling preschool boys, one very active non-verbal toddler, and a baby!

Welcome to retirement, Dad! So long to a relaxing summer enjoying retirement!

The stress of parenting five little ones all day alone was overwhelming for my husband (with a history of high blood pressure, no doubt).

Our 4-year-old foster son constantly fought with our 3-year-old son. Our 2-year-old sensory-seeking foster daughter was constantly into things and would scream at just the mention of sleep – she could only fall asleep with hard rocking motion. And then there was the baby… That was along with our two forever sons.

But through that summer, I gained a new respect for my husband while parenting this herd of little ones. He is the anchor of our ever-changing family.

I also learned that I should discuss accepting foster care placements with my husband first.

And even years later, I’m still trying to make it up to him and like to treat him special on Father’s Day. With our recent move to the Austin area, I finally went and checked out the shopping at The Domain.

Since my special man likes to smell good, I went browsing at the Macy’s fragrance counter.

I discovered this deluxe gift set of the new Nautica LIFE. It retails for $65 (even though it’s valued at $128.00). It includes a 3.4 oz Eau de Toilette, 2.5 oz Aftershave Balm, 2.5 oz Shower Gel, and 1 oz Eau de Toilette.

You can celebrate your lifelong journey with the DAD in your life with new Nautica Life!

I have teamed up with Nautica fragrances via Collective Bias to host an amazing giveaway with 3 very easy ways to enter.
-One GRAND PRIZE winner will win a $4,000 cruise vacation package
-5 second place winners will win a Nautica Men’s fragrance gift set!
-Winners must be 18+
Nautica for Dad

NOTE: There is a happy ending to this story – the siblings were placed with a family member nearby. We run into the kids occasionally, and they seem well and happy.

5:29 pm by Penelope

How Can Attachment Become So Disorganized?

Before becoming a parent, a person should understand the four attachment parenting types. Specifically, foster parents should study the disorganized attachment style. Why? Because 80% of abused children come from a home with a disorganized attachment style – an attachment based on FEAR. (Parenting from the Inside Out by Dan Siegel)

How is Disorganized Attachment Developed?

Caregiver is frightening, dangerous, or causes terror
Child needs the caregiver for survival but is terrified of the caregiver
Child cannot find a solution which results in disorganized attachment

Characteristics of Disorganized Attachment Style

Significant difficulty with behavior, emotions, attention, and relationships
Attempts to control their caregiver in order to make them more predictable
Prone to dissociation from relationships

I recently attended a workshop on Attachment and the Circle of Security — which simplified the disorganized attachment style down to 3 things parents do to disorganize attachment in their children.

MEAN, WEAK, or GONE!

Is the parent MEAN?

The very person a child has to rely on for safety or care causes fear in the child. That’s pretty much a given for physical abuse of the children that come into foster care. But it doesn’t have to be physical abuse. Harassing or humiliating a child is a subtle form of abuse that causes emotional problems for a child needing to feel secure. A child can become disorganized in their attachment.

Is the parent WEAK?

A weak, permissive, or not-in-charge parent can surprisingly cause a chaotic, disorganized family structure. When a child “rules the roost,” the entire family suffers. There is such a fine line from being permissive and giving a child a voice. Honestly, this is the struggle in our own family as we parent our traumatized, strong-willed child. Parents much be in charge, but in a kind way.

Is the parent GONE?

If a parent isn’t around and a child has to take care of themselves, the child loses any sense of security, and the family can become disorganized. Note that a parent doesn’t have to be physically gone. A parent that is spaced out using drugs is not present in the child’s life, even if they are sitting in the same room with the child. As a child of an alcoholic, I experienced feelings of aloneness and took up the role of caregiver in my family as a young teen. But even a parent that doesn’t use drugs or alcohol can be “gone” if they are preoccupied with other things in their life – examples include watching TV, electronics, video games, or online a lot of the time and not engaging with the child. A child needs to feel a connection with their parent in that their emotional needs of feeling important are met.

Parenting children with disorganized attachment is a challenge not to be taken lightly. But by learning a variety of parenting techniques that encourage attachment, a parent can help a child learn to trust and become more secure in their attachment.

10:45 am by Penelope

Homemade Mother’s Day Gift Idea plus FREE Printable

Hey ya’ll! I’m Deonna and I write Child at Heart: A faith-based DIY, gift ideas, and family blog. I’m a stay-at-home mom, police wife, and mommy to this little cutie 🙂

Had to share a picture from my Instagram with my new Foster 2 Forever friends 🙂 I was asked by Penelope to share an easy gift idea for Mother’s Day with you. I was one of Penelope’s roomies at Blog Elevated and we had SO much fun!

I LOVE making gifts for Mother’s Day and when I think of my mom, I think of how much she LOVES cooking…I didn’t get that gene 🙂 I found this great little measuring cup the other day and I decided to turn it into a fun kitchen candle. I am sharing a simple way to make a soy candle with essential oils in your microwave. It’s super easy and they turn out really pretty. I also made some simple gift tags that say “I Love You Beyond Measure” to add to your candle gift. All you have to do is print, cut, and you’re done!

Okay let’s make our candles:

You can choose any little bowl, cup, or mug to make this project if you don’t love the measuring cup idea. Just choose your bowl or cup and clean it out and dry it really well. I did the tutorial with this fun little bowl I found.

1. Place your wick in the center of the bowl or cup. I used a glue dot to hold it in place. Once, the hot wax hits the glue dot it will move but it does help get you ready to pour.

2. Measure your soy wax flakes by pouring them into your cup twice. This should be enough to fill the bowl once it’s melted. I melted them in a microwave-safe bowl in the microwave for about 5 minutes. Stir to make sure it is thoroughly melted.

3. Add your essential oils of choice. I did about 20 or 30 drops and my candles don’t smell very strong so if you want a stronger scent, use more. Stir for about 2 minutes and then slowly pour into your bowl or cup.

4. Place a small piece of wax paper over the candle with a hole in it for the wick. This will keep your wick centered while the wax hardens. Allow several hours to cool.

Here are some of the other finished candles! Besides the bowl and measuring cup, I used a tiny tea cup and a coffee mug that I wrote on with a gold Sharpie. The printable gift tags for the mug and tea cup are available on my blog as well. Just click on them, print, cut, and you’re done!

FREE Printable Gift Tags: Click on the link, print, cut, and tie it on your gift with some cute ribbon or jute. I made a colorful option and also a black and white option. You could hit the black and white tags with some watercolors for a fun twist!

“I Love You Beyond Measure” Gift Tag Printables in Color

“I Love You Beyond Measure” Gift Tag Printables in Black and White

Please check out some of my other DIY projects and family posts and thank you SO much for letting me come visit 🙂

Which candle is your favorite? What other things could you use from your kitchen for a candle gift?