Foster2Forever

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A STRANGE DAY IN COURT FOR OUR FOSTER BABY

Today we went to court in regard to the placement of our 9-month-old foster baby, Lil Bit.  In December, he was placed with us as a legal-risk placement meaning that, at the time, there was no foreseeable family members for placement and the mother’s parental rights had been terminated with her previous 5 children.

As foster parents, we had “intervened” with the court in the placement of this baby with an aunt of the mother.  You can read more of the details of the case on this post.

I have not been optimistic. Everyone seemed to be wanting this baby to go live with his great-aunt. In fact, when the Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) had visited last week, her last remark to me was: “he’s young, he’ll assimilate easily.”

Today was NOTHING what I expected. The baby’s case was called second on the docket.

The CPS case worker was called to the stand. She was asked how the mother was doing and she stated that she was currently working services.  The baby’s ad litem attorney asked if CPS was still looking at placing the baby with his great-aunt and her reply was yes.

My attorney showed me a report from the CASA. He instructed me to look at the Recommendations on the last page. #3 stated: “The child should remain in his current placement.”

The judge then ruled that Lil Bit would remain in his current placement (WITH US)!

The next hearing is set for September.

WOW!  All I can say is…the miracle of prayer!
I want to say a HUGE THANKS to all our prayer warriors out there!!!

Y’all have a great week!
Hugs!

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I HEART MY FOSTER BABIES!!!

Tomorrow is the big day!  Tuesday, May 25th is when we go back to court to see if we will keep our Lil Bit, or if he will be placed with a great aunt.  I am not optimistic. CPS wants him with family – the baby’s ad litem attorney wants him with family – the baby’s Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) wants him with family.  However, the birthmother does NOT want him with family. You can read the drama details of the last hearing on this post.

If the judge rules for Lil Bit to go, my husband & I can use this reprieve to reconnect & regroup for our next placement.

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God” – Romans 8:28

And for the IHeartFaces yellow challenge this week, here is a picture of our very first foster baby that was placed with us – now, this picture is 2 years later & he is now adopted.  He is such a Stinker!

Y’all have a great week enjoying your loved ones!
Hugs!
~penny

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ANOTHER COURT HEARING ON OUR FOSTER BABY

Many times when a child is placed in foster care, it is because there isn’t any stable family members available to provide a safe environment for the child.  However, albeit rarely, family members may argue over who will get to keep the child. This is quickly becoming the case with our 9-month-old, Lil Bit.

After having her rights terminated on 5 previous infants, the birthmother is actually working to reclaim custody of Lil bit; however, she does have an uphill battle considering that she is mentally-challenged.
Amazingly, while Lil Bit is in foster care, the birthmother does NOT want Lil Bit placed with any of her family members. She has actually sided with our family over hers in court. However, her first choice is for Lil Bit to be placed with her friends that are raising Lil Bit’s siblings – all 5 of them.  (I’ll call them the Cons) However, since the Cons are no relation to Lil Bit and haven’t even met him, the judge had previously ruled that the Cons do not have any legal rights to the child.

We have a hearing set for next Tuesday, May 25th, to determine whether the Lil Bit will go live with his great-aunt (against the birthmother’s wishes) or whether he will remain with us.

But that blew up a couple of weeks ago. I was driving through rural Texas for work, and my cell phone beeped that I had a message.  The voice mail was from none other than Lil Bit’s case worker (I’ll call her AB). She wanted to visit our home that afternoon. I was ticked! Why?

AB had finally set up her first home visit in the 4 months since we’d had the baby for the week before – and never showed! No phone call, nothing! I even called the next day to finalize arrangements for Lil Bit’s dental appointment for the next week, and AB didn’t even mention her missed visit.

And now she wanted us to drop everything for her convenience. I returned her call the next morning and invited her to come to our home that night. Ha! A Friday night! Plus the maid would have just cleaned that afternoon! Double ha!

When AB finally arrived for her first home visit, she told us the reason for her expedited visit – there was another court hearing scheduled for the next Tuesday!

At our last custody hearing in March, AB had to give testimony regarding the Cons. (Although their case had already been thrown out by the judge before that hearing, the judge went ahead and allowed Mr. Con to testify since the birthmother’s attorney had called him as a witness since she wants Lil Bit with her other children.)

In AB’s testimony in March, she had stated that the Con’s home had been closed. Apparently, that was the correct terminology to use since the home had only reached the “maximum number of occupants.”

Although Mrs. Con wasn’t at that hearing, she was apparently so upset about AB’s testimony that “trashed their name”, that she exploded at the Regional Director of Family & Protective Services – a special hearing was called.

At our home visit, I asked AB if there was anything that we needed to do or if we needed to attend this special hearing the next Tuesday. She reassured us that there was nothing we needed to do.

However, at 2:45pm on Monday afternoon, AB called and told me that we did, in fact, need to attend the hearing the next morning.

I quickly tried to contact our attorney. I finally tracked him down driving from a deposition in South Texas. I quickly briefed him on the hearing. He was livid that, being the attorney on record, he hadn’t received the required 3-day hearing notice. Not only very frustrated for the lack of hearing notice, but my lack of knowledge on the details of this hearing, and also his lack of cell phone coverage in the Texas coastal plains. {can you hear me now?}

The next morning our attorney attended this joke of a hearing – it was in the judge’s chambers only – nothing in the legal record.

During the discussions, our attorney did have to remind everyone that the testimony regarding the Cons occurred AFTER the judge had already thrown out their case when AB testified.

The judge stated that to resolve the issue, Child Protective Services (CPS) could put a memo in the legal record; but, the next custody hearing for Lil Bit would still occur on May 25th.

Whew! What a mess! It’s hard to believe that when Lil Bit was removed from the birthmother, CPS was looking for a legal risk home to adopt this beautiful baby boy.

As we approach next Tuesday’s hearing date, how much are you willing to wager that the Cons will be in the courtroom, still trying to stake their claim on Lil Bit? Will Lil Bit’s great-aunt show up to this hearing? If she does show up, will the judge award custody to his great-aunt?  CPS always prefers familial placements.  {read my first post on the custody of Lil Bit}

We are grateful for your continued prayers!
Hugs!
~penelope

{all photos excepts Lil Bit’s gorgeous eyes are from
Flickr’s Creative Commons group
– please click on the photos to visit their wonderful works of art}

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UPDATE ON LIL BIT (Part 5) – HOSPITAL STAY

A few weeks ago, we had yet another health scare with Lil Bit (our 8-month-old foster baby). I had noticed that he was beginning to wheeze again. We gave him a breathing treatment of albuteral with his nebulizer, and began watching him closely.

Late that evening, after the other kids had gone to bed, he was becoming extremely fussy and crying out. His breathing was worse. Looking at his chest, I noticed that he was “retracting” (the skin was pulling in & out between the ribs with each breath). The scariest part was when I looked at his round, little face — he was turning BLUE!!!

With tears in my eyes, I sped to the hospital with him crying out the 10-minute drive. I was so scared & trying to comfort him in the back seat with tear-soaked words. I drove over 50 mph through a residential zone & ran 2 red lights. I didn’t care – I just wanted to get Lil Bit to the hospital!

I pulled up to the ER & frantically rushed inside.

Something was different — Would you believe it?

This is the moment Lil Bit stopped crying.

I immediately told the young man at intake how this baby I was holding was struggling to breathe. The young man looked at this little angel quietly lying there and calmly replied,

“Please fill out this form, and I will need a copy on your insurance card.”

“Uh, sure,” I sheepishly replied.

I self-consciously picked up Lil Bit to find a seat in the crowded waiting room as everyone was quietly watching me. (I actually believe I heard an IV drip down the hall.) It was as if everyone’s eyes were saying, “What a nutcase of a mother – wait your turn.”

Just then, before I had made my way across the room, Lil Bit began wailing again. Strong & LOUD! Not that I wanted him to cry, but it did get the attention of a nurse that rushed to us.

“Let’s check his oxygen level. Come with me!”

By this time, Lil bit was really screaming now! With his arms & legs flailing about, it took several trys to get any type of reading for his oxygen — finally 92%

“Let’s find an exam room so the doctor can see him,” the nurse told another.

We quickly got settled into the ER exam room & them we had to..
WAIT
Doctor exam
WAIT
Blood tests
WAIT
Chest x-ray
WAIT
IV (this is the worst with an infant)
Steroid injection
WAIT
Breathing treatment
WAIT

DIAGNOSIS
Bronchialitis

At 2 a.m., the doctor returns and says, “He can go home now.”

WAIT

45 minutes later, as the nurse begins to take the IV out of Lil Bit’s arm, I exclaimed, “Look at his chest!” He was retracting again.

The nurse rushed to get the doctor. From the doorway, the doctor said, “Let’s go ahead & admit him.”

WAIT

At 5 a.m., we finally arrived at our room on the Pediatric floor of the hospital. We could finally get some sleep!

WAIT

30 minutes later, the nurses had completed the admissions paperwork and lowered the lights as they left the room.

Lil Bit & I finally slept….HARD!

The treatment Lil Bit received worked wonders!
His breathing improved tremendously throughout the day.
Lil Bit was released from the hospital late that afternoon.

I’ve since requested that Lil Bit be referred to a pediatric pulmonologist (worked great for Stinkpot). No one is balking at this request; in fact, the doctor and insurance company have been very helpful with the referral.

Lil Bit is on his way to receiving specialized care to prevent these health scares in regard to his breathing.

Have a great week enjoying your family!
Hugs to y’all!
~penny
http://txpenelope.blogspot.com

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UPDATE ON LIL BIT (Part 4) – Another Hospital Visit

Thanks to an obstinate dairyman, I had a meeting scheduled out-of-town at 4 pm on Good Friday. Making lemonade out of lemons, my family traveled out of town with me on our way up to the Metroplex to visit cousins during the Easter holiday weekend.

That night, Lil Bit began coughing a horrible cough throughout the night. I called the local hospital to see if he could get RSV again (he was hospitalized with it for 4 days in February). “Yes!” was the reply. At 4 o’clock in the morning I dressed and headed to the small-town ER with Lil Bit coughing the entire way.

My thoughts were racing – if Lil Bit needs to be hospitalized:

  • Can I take him to the hospital back home or would they want him to stay here?
  • Would he have to ride in an ambulance as Stinkpot did last time he was hospitalized?
  • How long would we have to stay in this small-town hospital?
  • Would he need to spend another 4 days in the hospital like the last time he had RSV?

I arrived at the ER and the doctors were quick to examine him. The doctor’s thought was that with his throat being so red that he may have strep throat. The nurses came in and tested him for strep & RSV.
The tests results came back quickly: No strep, no RSV, just a common cold. YEAH! We can leave!
When I got back to the hotel, everyone was up & ready for breakfast. Ready for an Easter egg hunt!
A funny thing did happen in this small-town hotel though. I thought it only happened in the movies, but….
the elevator broke down with my kids inside!!!
After that fiasco, we finally were able to head to my sister’s house & the cousins had such a good time together on their Easter egg hunt. They were so proud of their findings!!


Have a great week with your family!
Hugs to y’all!

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UPDATE ON LIL BIT (Part 3) – ANOTHER DAY IN COURT

This morning we went to court again for a placement hearing on our 6-month-old foster baby that we have nicknamed Lil Bit.

Our day in court began at 9am; however, with a full docket, our case was, of course, heard LAST after the 5 other cases (one was from 2001)!

Tic tock, tic tock…
More attorney fees.
In fact, we actually had TWO attorneys representing us in court today!

When our case finally was called, it was after 11am.
TWO hours of attorney fees to listen to other cases!

First, the mother’s attorney called up the foster dad that has 5 of the mother’s other children. (The mother wants Lil Bit with her other children.)

The baby’s ad litem attorney jumped up adamantly objecting.
“He has no standing!”
“No relevance now!”
“He hasn’t even met the child!”

The judge said he would briefly allow this testimony. This testimony was mainly regarding how he currently cares for the mother’s other children.

Then the cross-fire, I mean, cross-examination from the baby’s ad litem attorney shot out. She asked some very tough questions.

“If the other children are failing in school, how can you care for another child?” He wasn’t able to answer the question.

“The last home study completed when you adopted the mother’s last child stated that you were to not have any more children in your home, correct?”

The CPS caseworker was the next witness. The CPS attorney and the baby’s ad litem attorney focused on how Lil Bit should be with his great-aunt. Our attorneys focused questions so that she would say that Lil Bit would be safest with us.

Then the baby’s ad litem attorney called Lil Bit’s mother onto the stand. She began by asking detailed questions about her relationship with the father, where she conceived the baby, when the father moved to Mexico, when she moved to Mexico, when and where she gave birth to Lil Bit.

(Later, our attorney told us that those questions were to confirm that the U.S. and Texas have jurisdiction over Lil Bit’s case and not Mexico where he was born.)

Then I was called to testify on the stand. I was so nervous, nearly to tears. So much on the line here. Our attorney asked me questions to reiterate to the court that Lil Bit would be safest in our home, since we have no contact with the violent members of his birth family.

Leave it to me that when he asked me questions in the negative like attorneys sometimes do, I messed up my answer & he would have to repeat it & I would have to correct myself.
(All these expensive meetings & he didn’t prepare me for THAT!)

No other attorneys questioned me (another good sign).

My husband testified so diplomatically when asked who the baby preferred. “When both of us are in the room, the baby prefers my wife!” (His calm diplomacy is one of the characteristics that drew me to marry him.)

To our advantage today, the great-aunt wasn’t in court to testify. It was optimistically believed that CPS didn’t inform her of the new court date since it had been postponed twice.

The judge ordered a brief recess to review the great-aunt’s home study and call the attorneys into his chambers.

The judge then issued his ruling…
THE BABY WOULD STAY WITH US UNTIL ANOTHER PERMANENCY HEARING ON MAY 25TH!!!!

So – HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!
But by May 25th, Lil Bit will be in our home as a member of our family for 6 months of his 9 months of life! Two-thirds of his life with us!
That will be to our benefit at the next hearing….

A HUGE THANK YOU for all your prayers!

Have a great week cherishing your loved ones!

Hugs to you all!

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SNOW – An Act of God!

What an AMAZING day of snow in Texas!
Over THREE inches! WOW!

As Texans, we become frozen with enchantment of a winter wonderland.

Schools close.
Businesses close.
Snowmen line our streets.
Snowball fights ensue.

The anomaly of snow here in Texas brings out the kid in all of us!

In Texas, any amount of snow necessitates a winter weather advisory.
But 3 inches of snow in Texas is an Act of God!

An Act of God is a legal term used in contracts & other legal documents to describe events outside of human control, such as storms & natural disasters.

Not that the 3 inches of snow here could ever be described as a disaster,
but it is an Act of God!
A blessing!

And the timing of God’s blessings can show us all that He is in control of EVERYTHING!

Psalm 107:25 – “For He commands & raises the stormy wind,
which lifts up the waves of the sea.”

We were richly blessed by the snow this week, not only for the joy it brought into our lives, but in that our custody hearing for our foster baby was postponed another week!

Another week to enjoy & love this angelic baby as part of our family!
Another week to PRAY!

Isn’t it amazing that God is in complete control of every aspect of our lives?

“And we know that all things God work together for good
to those who love God” – Romans 8:28

Have a great week enjoying the blessings in your life!

Hugs to you!
~penelope

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UPDATE on Lil Bit…Part 2 (Our Day in Court)

Foster parents usually don’t have “standing” in a custody hearing on foster children unless the child has been in the foster home for at least a year.
[“Standing mean that you have a legal case in court.
If you don’t have standing, your case is dismissed.]
Here we are about to “intervene” in the custodial placement of Lil Bit, our 6-month-old foster baby, into the home of a distant relative. A foster family “intervening” in a family placement is pretty much unheard of in our area.

However, this is an unusual case in that another family also tried to intervene in Lil Bit’s placement with the distant relative. All of Lil Bit’s 5 siblings have previously been adopted by a friend of his birth mother. This family friend also intervened and requested standing in court.

Lil Bit’s birth mother was supporting him going to live with this family and his 5 siblings (along with the many other children in the home)
instead of with her family member.

However, Children Protective Services (CPS), the baby’s ad litem attorney, the Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for the baby, ALL objected to their intervention. Their case for standing was quickly dismissed with these objections and because they had not met Lil Bit.

At this point, there was no objection to our standing in this case.
(WE’RE IN!!!)

Now that the birth mother’s friend wouldn’t get Lil Bit, the mother asked her attorney to meet me. Our attorneys awkwardly agreed. When we were introduced, I gave her pictures I had taken of Lil Bit in the 2 months he had lived with us. Looking through the photos, she wiped away tears from her face. She decided to now support us instead of her family member in this custody hearing. (Strange, isn’t it? Sadly, I believe it demonstrates a deep dysfunction in the family)

Also, in our favor, there was doubt of whether Lil Bit would be able to receive government benefits in the near future since he was born in Mexico. Since we are financially able to provide for him with our income, the CASA and ad litem attorney now supported Lil Bit staying with us.

So now we are in court asking that our foster baby stay in our home and not go live with a distant relative. The baby’s mother, ad litem attorney and CASA all support Lil Bit staying with us.
Then, there is CPS policy…

The CPS policy is, if possible, children are placed with family members –
However, since CPS is the only party not supporting the baby staying with us, they had to call state headquarters to see if they could officially support the baby staying with us. If so, then there would be a consensus of all the parties that Lil Bit stay with us and we could all go home without a hearing.

So there we are in court –
waiting –
tic tock, tic tock –
$4 a minute in attorney fees…

45 minutes later we finally get the official answer from Austin.
CPS policy is always family first.

The judge then granted a continuance and our custody hearing is now set for another day.

Please pray for us – we need strength, courage and faith that “all things work together for good.”

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UPDATE on Lil Bit…Part 1

My last writing on our now 6-month old foster baby, he was in the hospital with RSV & we were to give him to a relative on the 9th. It has been a whirlwind since!!!

Lil Bit was admitted to the hospital on February 2nd – Groundhog Day, no less – for RSV. My wonderful husband and I took turns staying/spending the night at the hospital. (An adult has to stay with an infant at all times)

Already emotionally & physically exhausted, I received all the legal paperwork discussing Lil Bit, his birth family, & the home study of a family member. Instead of being placed with his 5 siblings & other children, the home study recommended that Lil Bit be placed with his great-aunt. (don’t freak out – she’s younger than us at 33 years young!) As I read the home study & how they already had a room ready for Lil Bit, I began to cry. This baby has a family that loves him & wants him! He has 12-year-old & 7-year-old cousins that are excited about having a baby in their home. Who are we to get in the way of that?

I spent Thursday night in the hospital alone with Lil Bit saying my goodbyes to the little man & sleeping very little. (Can you hear the violins softly playing in the background?)

On Friday morning, my knight in shining armor that I married 5 years ago, comes into the gloomy hospital room & tells me that he wants to meet with our attorney. “I just want to hear what the attorney has to say” were the words he repeated to me.

Later that morning, I received a conference call from the law firm – my husband & TWO attorneys. Some of the things discussed:

  • Great-aunt cannot financially take care of Lil Bit without government assistance;
  • An arrest of great-uncle for violence years ago;
  • Lil Bit has lived with only the mother & us;
  • We have had Lil Bit for 1/3 of his life;
  • We have the financial capability to take care of Lil Bit long term;
  • Final adoption of Lil Bit is uncertain – other family members may be located;
  • This may cost up to $15K in legal fees!

So much to digest in one call & a really tough, expensive decision to make!
I was both excited & shocked when my frugal knight in shining armour told me –
“LET’S GO FOR IT!!!”
….to be continued….
Hugs until then!
~penny

I’m Clever

Sway