Foster2Forever

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Inefficiency in Foster Care Court Hearings

Sometimes the court hearings for foster children are a complete waste of time. The so-called status hearings anyway…

“Nothing has changed, your honor, since the last hearing six months ago.” I guess it’s a necessary part of the process to make sure no child gets lost in the foster care system.
Miami County Fair 2008 - Miami County Scene Category
However, last Friday, I received an email from our attorney ($60 to be billed later) stating that there is a status hearing for our 18-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit, scheduled for Tuesday, and we should plan to attend.

I shouldn’t have a problem with this, should I? But I do…

Here’s my problem:  The final termination hearing is scheduled for two weeks later!  Why have 2 hearings?

I’m sending an email back to my attorney (another $60 plus) to request that the status hearing be postponed until the final hearing.

Sounds reasonable, right?

If you’d like to keep up with this drama in real time, you can “like” Foster2Forever on Facebook or “follow” Foster2Forever on Twitter.

Hugs! ~penelope

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When a Foster Child Lags Behind

Learning to roll over, follow your voice, sit up, walk, and talk are important developmental milestones for infants and toddlers to reach.

Also, the Early Childhood Interventionage your child reaches these milestones is equally important: You can possibly foretell a child’s learning potential or perhaps another underlying issue by examining a child’s development pattern.

Our Lil Bit is a big baby – at the 95th percentile for weight. Given his chunkiness, it took him longer to roll over, put weight on his legs, crawl and walk. Since he was behind on all these milestones, his caseworker at the time requested that he be evaluated for developmental delays by our state’s Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) program.

Early Childhood Intervention is a result of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) which, among other requirements, mandates that infants and toddlers with disabilities or developmental delays receive support services from birth to age 3. (Local school districts provide services for children over the age of 3.)

In October, at 14 months, our Lil Bit was evaluated by ECI on the following criteria:

  • Cognitive: difficulty with playing, learning and thinking
  • Motor: gross, fine and oral
  • Communication: limited understanding or responses in communicating with others
  • Social-emotional: attachment problems, limited parent/family interactions or behavior concerns
  • Self-help skills: feeding

    • Although behind (mostly fine motor skills), he was still within the normal developmental range.

    Flash forward to February, at 18-months-old, our Lil Bit is becoming increasingly behind in his communication. He does babble, but says very few words and rarely calls for mama or dada. (At 18 months, Lil Bit should be saying 8-10 words)  In December, his hearing was checked and was normal. He is social so we don’t have too much of a concern for autism. But we are concerned, especially seeing his classmates in daycare saying so much.

    Lil Bit was evaluated again last week by ECI and was markedly behind in communication. An Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP) is being developed to assist us in helping Lil Bit catch up, with an emphasis on speech therapy. These services are provided free of charge regardless of income or immigration status.

    This 4-minute video by CDC gives a good overview of how to recognize child development problems early.
    Early Recognition of Childhood Development Problems

    Is your child on target for meeting developmental milestones?  Here is a great resource for checking important developmental milestones.

    If you would like to have your child evaluated, here is a List of State Early Childhood Coordinators to find one in your state. Evaluations and assessments are free.

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    When a Foster Baby is Hospitalized

    I was right… Our 17-month-old foster baby, Lil Bit, developed pneumonia. I took him to the doctor last Friday with a fever; however, the doctor diagnosed him with a common cold and sent us home for the weekend.

    He had the fever all weekend so I returned back to the clinic on Monday.
    “This baby has RSV. Let’s send him to the hospital.”
    A chest x-ray then confirmed that it had developed into pneumonia.

    Our Valentine’s Day was spent in the hospital with a sick baby and a restless preschooler.

    In the last few weeks, our family has dealt with the flu, record low temperatures complete with snow and cabin fever, Mommy’s sinus infection and my systemic allergic reaction to an antibiotic.
    As a couple, we felt exhausted, discouraged, and alone.

    Lil Bit was on oxygen during the night and recovered quickly.
    He is now home and doing well with antibiotics and breathing treatments.
    I am also on the rebound, both physically and emotionally. (Maybe I’ll try and jog tomorrow?)

    “I will refresh the weary and restore tired souls.” ~ Jeremiah 31:25

    {I am in the process of moving this site to a dot com!!! https://foster2forever.com Go take a peek!}

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    Am I Harboring an Illegal Immigrant?

    Living in Texas, illegal immigration is a HUGE controversial topic. Especially, since April when Arizona passed their stringent illegal immigration law. With a third of the Texas population being Hispanic, our Tex-Mex culture inundates us here. So much, that we don’t really think much about whether someone is here legally or not.

    How does illegal immigration affect us personally?
    Our 17-month-old foster baby, Lil Bit, was born in Mexico and brought back to Texas by his birthmother.

    WHY? Because the State has removed so many children from the birthmother, she cannot give birth in this area without the hospitals contacting the State for removal. Before giving birth, the birthmother (a U.S. citizen) fled to Mexico with the Mexican birthfather and gave birth to our Lil Bit in Mexico. So, Lil Bit is “officially” recognized as a Mexican citizen with a Mexican birth certificate.

    MexicoThis does complicate matters in that he is not considered a U.S. citizen.  (Dual citizenship has recently become discouraged by U.S. policy.)

    The birthmother has voluntarily relinquished her parental rights; however, the State has to also remove the birthfather’s parental rights before Lil Bit will be officially available for adoption.

    The problem is that the birthfather is somewhere in Mexico and must be given notice before the State can legally terminate his rights. Another problem is that the mentally-challenged birthmother cannot remember where he lives. So the Mexican consulate is now trying to locate a man with a fairly common Hispanic name somewhere in Mexico.

    Another court date is scheduled for next month. We anticipate that the birthfather’s parental rights will be terminated at this hearing. Then Lil Bit will officially be an orphan and available for adoption.

    Because Lil Bit is not “officially” a U.S. citizen, this will make our eventual adoption of him quite a bit more complicated — more like an international adoption. Although, he is considered a Mexican national without a green card, the State does have custody of him; thus, our Lil Bit will NOT be deported. Whew!

    The State is currently working on his application for U.S. citizenship.

    Who knows when the courts will “officially” name Lil Bit as our son – what we know is that Lil Bit already IS our son!

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    MISCELLANY MONDAY

    Miscellany Monday @ lowercase lettersTHAT SURGERY
    Thanks for all the well wishes for our 16-month-old who is recovering from THAT surgery. The second day when the local anesthesia wore off was the worst pain for him. After that, he has been in good spirits and even playing outside. He can’t bathe for a few more days and he does NOT like to shower.

    STINKPOT’S SURGERY
    We opted to NOT have tubes put in Stinkpot’s ears this week. It was just too difficult for FosterDad with 2 little ones at home by himself. (I came home Wednesday after work and FosterDad was still in his pajamas and quite flustered)

    STINKPOT’S BEHAVIOR
    Our 3-year-old’s behavior is still a challenge! He has now been kicked out 2 day cares for aggression.Yesterday, he had a knife from the silverware drawer and was threatening to cut us. “I cut you!”

    MY DECISION
    I have made the decision to stay home with him. I will work part-time during Mother’s Day Out and use family leave. (I haven’t told my boss yet) The child needs a LOT of TLC and individual attention, and he just won’t get that at a day care from 2 workers with 23 other kids. The Mother’s Day Out has just a few kids for the short time he is there.

    2011 GOALS/RESOLUTIONS
    I had a huge list of goals to share with you, for health, kids, marriage, faith, blogging but given the issues with Stinkpot, I have thrown those all out.

    2011 will be defined for me by one word! Everything will revolve around the word: TRANSFORMATION.

    MY PRAYER
    LORD,
    TRANSFORM me;
    TRANSFORM my child;
    TRANSFORM our family.

    NEXT STEPS
    I have begun a 365-day Transformation Project.

    Praying, focusing on HIM,
    Praying, focusing on Stinkpot,
    Praying, researching child behavior,
    Praying, trying a new tip or technique every day,
    Praying, documenting Stinkpot’s actions and reactions,
    Praying….

    Will you pray for us during this journey?  Can you recommend any books, websites, etc.?

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    THAT Surgery – Wordless Wednesday

    Yesterday, our 16-month-old foster boy survived THAT surgery. (Genesis 17:11)
    In case you didn’t know, Lil Bit was born in Mexico.
    Nothing to eat since Monday night. Drank 5 ounces of water at 6 a.m. First appointment at 9:30 a.m. Surgery postponed until 2:30 p.m.!!!

    Lil Bit was one thirsty and hungry baby!!!

    We finally got home around 6 p.m. last night.
    Although tired, we had a great night at home together.
    However, the local wears off today. Yikes!

    Fortunately, he’s not talking yet to tell us what he thinks of us doing this to him. What do you think he would have to say about this?

    Stinkpot is scheduled to get tubes in his ears Thursday (for the THIRD time). Ug!

    Wordish Wednesday

     

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    MISCELLANY MONDAY – Orphan, Mood Swings and Halloween

    OUR LIL ORPHAN
    Last Tuesday was a court hearing for Lil Bit, our 13-month-old foster boy. I was out-of-town and so my hubby was there when the judge terminated the birthmother’s parental rights.  Our foster baby is now officially half an orphan!  I say that since the birthfather has not been located. The State is working with the Mexican consulate to make a good faith effort to locate him. Until then…

    MOOD SWINGS
    If you follow my blog, our 3-year-old Stinkpot’s strong will has been an incredible challenge for us. Last week was horrible!  Again! Temper tantrums, mood swings, and general meanness has made us worry about him.  Stinkpot’s birthfamily has a history of mental instability, and we have been seriously discussing taking him to a child psychologist for counseling, not just for him, but for us, in order to deal with him.

    However, on Friday, when I went for my annual physical exam, my doctor asked me if I was having any depression or mood swings from Singulair.  (“I’m too busy with kids to even think of being depressed” was my reply.)

    Since Stinkpot has been taking Singular for his asthma for nearly 2 years now – maybe Singulair could be his issue???

    I have a call into his doctor to discuss it!!!

    HALLOWEEN
    Can you believe it’s less than 4 weeks away?  Have you already begun the quest for the perfect Halloween costume for you and your kids?  Isn’t this just the cutest costume for less than $10?

    Have a great week!

    Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters

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    ADOPTION NEWS and AVERSION TO PINK

    Miscellany Monday @ lowercase lettersADOPTION NEWS
    Last Tuesday, we went to court…again.  All the paperwork had been signed and sent to the DA for the State. The birthmom was voluntarily relinquishing her parental rights.

    When I show up for court, something was amiss.  There was NO parking. I walk into the courtroom 10 minutes early. It was PACKED. There was a man up front in his prison garb and a different judge was on the bench.

    The baby’sCASAworker walked by. I asked her if this was the right place. “Yes” was her reply.  I scanned the courtroom. Our attorney wasn’t there yet so I went outside to wait for him. A minute later, he walked up and as he opened the door to the courtroom stated, “Oh, I forgot that Judge J was going to be here today.”

    Our case was second on the docket. And here’s where I became bold. Our attorney was talking to another attorney when the case was called and obviously didn’t hear that. I snapped my fingers at him to get his attention. He was quite taken aback that I had snapped at him, but admitted he didn’t hear.

    The State took the stand and testified on how Lil Bit was doing in his current placement with us. Lil Bit’s caseworker was not there and so it was her supervisor on the stand. She stated some things that weren’t true saying that Lil Bit had been placed with us from the hospital and that he had been evaluated by Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) since he wasn’t walking at 13 months of age.

    She then testified, “Adoption is the current plan.” NO mention of the relinquishment paperwork! The next court date would be in December.

    Here’s where paying an attorney $200 an hour can pay off. He clarified that Lil Bit had not been placed with us from the hospital, but upon removal.  “Judge, we have relinquishment papers that have been signed by all the parties and would like to seek termination of parental rights.”
    The DA then stated, “I haven’t seen them.” Ah, the efficiency of government….

    Now, we go back to court tomorrow. However, I have an important business meeting out of town tomorrow so my hubby, Steve, is going to have to show up if…..

    RUNNING
    That is how the bowels have been going in our home. When I picked up Lil Bit from day care Friday, his caregiver stated that his last movement had been runny. Yew!

    Three out of four family members had to deal with that this weekend.  Poor Lil Bit has been on a rice cereal, bananas, apple juice and Pedialyte diet all weekend. Last night, he made a disgusting sound as he was crawling across the floor. It was if a sound effects engineer from Hollywood had created that disgusting sound.

    So if he’s not better today, yet another trip to the doctor.  And possibly Steve staying home with Lil Bit tomorrow and only our attorney going to court…

    Did we give Lil Bit the right diet? Do you know of any remedies for a 1-year-old?

    AVERSION TO PINK

    Perfect Gift

    Last week, we received a call about a 5-year-old boy that needed a permanent family. He was originally placed with a family member that wasn’t going to pass their home study. He would need a foster family willing to adopt.

    With 2 boys already, especially with Stinkpot’s defiant streak and possible hyperactivity, we wanted to be cautious with what would be our final adoptive placement.

    I requested to see any paperwork on the child before making a decision. That was over a week ago. Still no word…

    Is pink just not in our future???

    I’m Clever

    Sway