Foster2Forever

by

MISCELLANY MONDAY –

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase lettersADOPTION NEWS!
We are going to court tomorrow! Yeah! We are moving, albeit, slowly, toward adoption of our 1-year-old foster boy, Lil Bit.

The birthmother has signed the paperwork for relinquishment of her parental rights. Everyone except her and the district attorney has signed the agreement for birthmother contact. [With advice from our attorney, we will send pictures and an update every May, and she is allowed a 3 hour visit in August with 30 days written notice. If she defaults the first year, there will be no subsequent visits.]

Hoping that the judge will order the termination of parental rights so Lil Bit’s case will be transferred to the adoption unit.

REUNITED (and it feels so good)
This weekend, I crashed attended the Class of 1980 reunion from my high school. The organizers had opened the reunion to classes of 1978-1982, but I did get a personal invitation from a couple of the organizers. Thanks Brenda and David!

Here’s a picture of us that attended the same school all 12 years – can you find me?

STINKPOT SMIRKS!

Stinkpot’s typical smirk – entered in this week’s IHeart Faces challenge

If you’ve been following a while, you know that my hubby, Steve, and I are extremely frustrated with potty training our 3-year-old Stinkpot!  {he believes potties are for sissies} Just this week, I asked him if he needed to use the potty. He looks at me with his typical smirk and says, {get this} –

“No, I poop in my pants. Ha! Ha!”

This is going to be some journey….

YOU have a great week!

Come back later this week for a great giveaway!

by

Stinkiness, Boot Camp, and Friday Night Lights – and some Adoption News

I HEART OUR STRONG-WILLED PRESCHOOLER, STINKPOT…

Stinkpot concentrates on riding his tricycle – see that tongue!

  • Strong-willed is an understatement!
  • At 3 years old, thinks using the potty is for sissies
  • Hopeless fan of Houston Astros and Texas Rangers
  • Addicted to baseball, football, basketball, softball, tennis, soccer, hockey, wrestling, etc.
  • Loves attending church
  • Way too charming for his own good and juggles too many girlfriends to count
  • Likes to act silly
  • Independent – demanding to do things by himself
  • Future first round draft pick for the Houston Astros in 2025

He is such a blessing in our lives, but, wow!, what a challenge!

I HEART THE EVENTUAL ADOPTION OF OUR FOSTER BABY…
He is OURS!!! Not officially, of course, but we are now, over the largest hurdle of adopting our 1-year-old baby boy, Lil Bit — the birthmother has voluntarily signed relinquishment papers to terminate her parental rights!

A few weeks ago, we met with CASA (Court-Appointed Special Advocate) and Lil Bit’s case worker to discuss continued contact with the birthfamily (mainly the great-aunt from my understanding). We just had to decide how much contact we would allow.

Last Monday, I received a desperate call from the case worker to meet with our attorney to draw up our agreement with the birthfamily. The next morning, I met with our attorney and discussed terms of the agreement.  He had some really great suggestions, and we decided the normal exchange of photos and updates would cause the least confusion to Lil Bit as he got older.

However, we kept coming back to the question: With whom would the contact be?
The birthmother – whose termination order the agreement would attach???
Or the great-aunt – who CASA is heavily promoting so that Lil Bit can keep his Mexican culture???

After discussing this in our meeting, we had no clue! Over $300 in attorney fees!

A week later, we still have no answer and we’re waiting on either the case worker or birthmother’s attorney to discuss with our attorney….


I DON’T HEART BEING BOOT CAMP DRILL SARGEANT….

Stinkpot was really a challenge last week! Hitting his teachers, his classmates, and toys.  I had to perform some boot camp strategy that is totally “not me”.  At one point, he had struck my last nerve and was being so stubborn while I was trying to care for a sick baby. I finally had enough that I yelled raised my voice to him to do it, NOWWWW!!!! Oy!  — so NOT ME!
(He has since been mocking me by telling Daddy that he wants something NOWWWW!!! – with his signature smirk, no less) But he did straighten up after that…

I HEART FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS…
Additionally, I used a football game as motivation to get him in line. It worked (mostly)!

For being a mostly good boy this week, we went to a high school football game together. 

Giving Stinkpot a kiss under the Friday night lights

We wanted to see my niece perform on the dance team for the first time; however, she performed to the other side…

My beautiful niece before her performance

Maybe next time…

I HEART FACES…
Here’s a photo that my father-in-law took of my hubby as he was learning to ride a tricycle.
I love the story this picture tells! You can see my mother-in-law, always the enthusiastic cheerleader, is so proud of her little boy as he concentrates so intently on completing this milestone.
(I am amazed at how much our adopted Stinkpot resembles his dad!)

Steve learns to ride a tricycle – circa 1961
    I entered this photo in this week’s I Heart Faces “Photojournalism” challenge –
    click the badge for more photos!

     

    Come back Wednesday to hear the next chapter of our love story…
    And on Friday to link up your funny stories with 2 Funny Friday!

    Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters

    Mckmama- Not Me Monday

    Mommy and Me Monday at Really, Are You Serious?

    by

    MISCELLANY MONDAY – Birthdays, Beaches, and Butts

    Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters

    OUR FOSTER BABY TURNED ONE YEAR OLD….

    Lil Bit turned one year old this week!  To celebrate, on his birthday, we took he and Stinkpot to Chuck E. Cheese. And then on Saturday, we had a small family gathering at a local park so the kids could play on the splash pad.

    Lil Bit’s birthday cupcakes from Sam’s

    However, due to a massive 48-inch broken water main, the entire city was under a water ban…SO the splash pad was CLOSED. And it was 103 degrees on Saturday!! Oops!

    But the kids still had a good time playing on the playground anyway.

     OUR STRONG-WILLED PRESCHOOLER, STINKPOT…
    We’re thinking of sending Stinkpot to Dr. James Dobson’s house for a week so that he can rewrite his book The Strong-Willed Child. He is really earning his nickname this week:

    • He hit both of his teachers on Friday (they want to meet with us today – and this is daycare!)
    • Saturday morning, we had to send him to his room 3 times before he straightened up to go to the birthday party.
    • Bedtime is always HORRIBLE!
    • Naptime yesterday was worse – he finally crashed in the middle of the dining room floor at 5:30.
    • Last night, he called Aunt Rachel to go live with her.
    • “I don’t want to…” or “I want…” begins every sentence.

    Do they have boot camp for preschoolers? Or better yet, send me!

    I HEART BEACH FUN….

    This year, we did not go to the beach due to the BP oil spill! (Check out that link!)

    Look at Stinkpot’s concentration!

    Did it ruin your beach plans, too?

    Last year, we took a family vacation to Houston/Galveston. I was amazed at how Stinkpot knew exactly how to play in the sand – and he did so in the same spot for nearly 2 hours! That is unheard of for my 2-year-old!

    For the beach trip, I took my point-and-shoot camera so the pictures are, well, snapshots.

    Here’s a great realistic pic my hubby took of my flabby old-lady butt. OUCH!

    You can see why I’m doing the twohundredsquats program. 
    I just finished Week 2, but I’m going to repeat it since I’m really sore right now.

    Here’s another photo I took of Stinkpot…

    Straight out of camera

    But don’t you just love the magic of Photoshop?
    I can change that picture to THIS>>>

    Using Coffee Shop Sun Kissed

    I used a free Photoshop action developed by Coffee Shop Rita. You should check out her stuff!

      I entered this photo in this week’s I Heart Faces challenge – click the badge for more “Beach Fun” photos!

       

      Come back Wednesday to hear the next chapter of our love story…
      And on Friday to link up your funny stories with 2 Funny Friday!

      Y’all have a great week!

      by

      Foster Children Are Eligible for WIC

      This month, FosterDad took our foster baby, Lil Bit, to the WIC (Women, Infants and Children) office that provides nutritional foods for children under the age of 5.  Foster children are automatically eligible for WIC. 

      wic-foster-children

      Our foster baby’s mother was still receiving these benefits for Lil Bit even though she did not have him in her care.  We didn’t believe that this was right, so we called our state’s WIC program toll-free number to set up an appointment with the local WIC office to transfer the baby’s benefits.

      The local WIC intake person stated that you MUST bring the child to the appointment, along with documentation that the child is in foster care.  FosterDad spent a long afternoon in the waiting room of the WIC office to make it through the cattle-call process with a fussy baby.  However, in the end, Lil Bit did receive EIGHT cans of formula. Since he is lactose-intolerant, his formula costs $15 a can – so it was probably worth the ordeal.

      This month, I took off an afternoon from work to take the baby back to his followup WIC appointment.  As I was waiting, I counted 13 adults and 17 infants/children in a 280 square-foot waiting area. (yes, I was so bored that I calculated the square footage using the ceiling tiles) I was there 2 hours with a fussy baby. It sucked! (At one point, a worker expressed to me her frustration of the kids running around. I wanted to respond to her, my frustration of being required to bring my child.)

      However, the benefits Lil Bit did receive was helpful. They took a blood sample and discovered his iron was a bit low. He is being weaned and so there is no more formula, but other foods, like bread, 3 gallons of lactose-free milk, a dozen eggs, a pound of cheese, and other nutritional foods are now on his program.

      wic-foster-children-info

      We don’t have to bring him back for another 6 months, and that will probably be the end of Lil Bit’s government handout.

      Have any of you foster parents gone through this process for the little ones in your care? What are your experiences?

      wic-foster-children-formula-pin

      by

      HELP! Open Adoption – Birth Family Contact – How Much?

      CONTACT WITH THE BIRTH FAMILY – After adoption, how open would you be?

      A question we never really considered when we chose to adopt through foster care.
      A question posed to us yesterday.
      A question we have to answer before Monday.
      A question we desperately need help in answering.

      Here’s the story!
      Last night, we met with Lil Bit’s Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) and State case worker.  The State is seeking to terminate the parental rights of the birth mother due to a mental capacity issue.  On Monday, the State will be meeting with the birth mother to discuss her options of State termination versus her voluntary relinquishment.

      In this meeting, the State wants to present to the birth mother as part of a voluntary reliquishment, the option of a semi-open adoption.  The State also want to present continued contact to Lil Bit’s great-aunt.

      Steve and I have come up with this first laundry list of birth family contacts –
      How could each of these individual contacts in this list affect Lil Bit’s future in our family?

      • Occasional daytime phone communication
      • Letter correspondence
      • Electronic communication
      • Photosharing website (Shutterfly) or other photo exchange
      • Invitations to birthday parties or birthday visit
      • Christmas time visit
      • Extracurricular activities/performances
      • Attending cultural or family events/celebrations with biological family

      Please, please, please let us know your experiences with birth family contact/communication!

      Thanks for all your support and prayers during this process. Hopefully, the end is in sight!

      Hugs!

      by

      FOSTER BABY AND OTHER MISCELLANEOUS THINGS

      The hardest part of adopting through foster care is the uncertainty of a final adoption.

      Our 10-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit, was placed in our home after a violent dispute between the mother and her grandmother, last December. The mother had had her parental rights terminated with her 5 previous children which were not placed with relatives. We were told the baby would be ours for adoption. (oops!)

      This case has been a complete mess and $6,000 in legal fees later – Lil Bit is still with us until a custody hearing in late September. You can read the history HERE.

      We had a permanency meeting last month to discuss the forever plan for Lil Bit and his mother’s progress for reunification.  When a child is first removed, the parents and the State draw up a permanency plan checklist that lays out all the individual steps a parent must do in order to be reunified with their child(ren). Items include things as routine (for the normal responsible population) as getting (and keeping) a job or income and finding a place to live independently.  Other things include drug testing, anger management classes, parenting classes, first aid training, and individual or group counseling.

      In the meeting, Lil Bit’s mentally-challenged birth mother showed that she is working hard to complete everything on the permanency plan checklist to get back custody of her baby. She had completed all the training and is now receiving SSI and will be moving into government housing soon. She has purchased a baby bed and high chair for Lil Bit, fully anticipating his return.

      This is the saddest part! After all of her hard work, in this meeting, a State worker looked the birth mother in the face and told her,

      “We do not believe that you have the mental capacity to care for the baby by yourself.
      The current plan for permanency for this baby is adoption.“

      I felt so horrible for this mother. She really has no clue and neither does her mother.

      The State’s current plan is adoption by the baby’s great-aunt.  The birth mother and grandmother oppose this adoption and stated in the meeting that they want us to adopt Lil Bit instead of their family.  They stated that the uncle is a weekend disc jockey and there is a lot of alcohol consumption in the home. “They like to party.” The State did acknowledge that they did need to “check out some things” in regard to their home study.

      The CASA stated that another court hearing will occur before our original September 22nd custody hearing. We believe that the State will be seeking to terminate the birth mother’s parental rights before September, but we do not know.

      The good news is that Lil Bit will stay with us in the meantime. More time to be a true blessing in our home!

      *********************************************************************************

      I just heard that everything is fine for the licensing of our home for the 18-year-old with Asperger’s Syndrome.  We still haven’t heard from his case worker and are assuming they found a home for him.

      *********************************************************************************

      Yesterday, our 3-year-old Stinkpot, was very upset with us for not taking him with us to “Big Church” after Sunday School.  So last night, we took him with us to Sunday evening worship since there wasn’t any childcare that night.  He did GREAT, sitting up in his chair, paying close attention – UNTIL – the singing stopped.  Then continually, loudly whining politely asking to go to “his class”.

      So he and I went outside to the church playground, split a Wendy’s Apple Pecan Chicken Salad, and enjoyed a special “Mommy and Me” picnic!

      Mommy and Me Monday at Really, Are You Serious? Hosted by Krystyn
      *********************************************************************************

      Remember to enter this month’s GIVEAWAY! Foster2Forever is giving away an autographed copy of Spoken from the Heart signed by Laura Bush, the former First Lady herself!

      Remember to enter a comment, if you are already a follower or subscriber!

      Have a great week!

      by

      First Blogiversary, a Makeover and Custody Update

      TODAY IS THE FIRST BLOGIVERSARY OF THE FOSTER2FOREVER BLOG!

      I began this little blog last year to share stories and pictures to our family and friends. But as time went on, to my surprise, friends began asking more and more questions about our experience as foster parents. They wanted to know the “real stories” of foster parenting.  That is how this blog morphed from just a family blog to Foster2Forever.

      BLOG MAKEOVER

      In celebration of the blogiversary, the blog received a makeover! With the help of Amber from Stolen Moments Design, Foster2Forever has a new look! (But it is still a work in progress) What do you think?  You can check out Amber’s designs in the ScrapMatters store for your custom blog wear design.

      Plus, Foster2Forever now has a Facebook page! Check out the a badge on the right side bar. Now, you can just click on the badge and “like” Foster2Forever on Facebook. How cool is that?

      CUSTODY UPDATE ON OUR FOSTER BABY

      Some of you have been asking about last week’s permanency meeting in the custody struggle with Lil Bit, our 10-month-old foster baby. Here’s the Reader’s Digest version: It was an informal, casual, routine status meeting. The mentally-challenged birth mother showed that she is working hard to do everything on the permanency plan checklist to get back custody of Lil Bit. The State does not believe that she can care for Lil Bit by herself. The current plan for Lil Bit is relative adoption. The birth mother and grandmother oppose relative adoption and support us adopting Lil Bit. Another court hearing will occur before September 22nd. Lil Bit will stay with us in the meantime. I will post more details next week!

      LAURA BUSH BOOK REVIEW

      I finally read my autographed copy of Spoken from the Heart signed by Laura Bush, the former First Lady herself! (I had to stand in line for over an hour for this!)

      I was fascinated to discover that, like me, by marrying later in life, she and George had struggled to conceive. They even had an application for adoption at the Gladney Center, when they discovered Laura was pregnant with the twins. (unlike me).

      This is what other blogs are saying about Spoken from the Heart:

      Susan from Thoughts from Over the Rainbow:
      “I was moved by how poignantly she describes her heartache when she was unable to conceive in early marriage. She says that there is no word in the English language to mourn absence. She says, “For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like a silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that was never held?”.”

      Laura Gerold from Laura’s Reviews: 
      “Laura Bush writes the story of her life starting from the very beginning and through the move back to Texas after the end of George Bush’s presidency. I found her entire story intriguing, and was a great modern history. The book seemed to show me what I had always thought; Laura Bush is the kind of person I would like to sit down with for dinner and chat with.”

      Have you read Laura Bush’s book?

      by

      PERMANENCY FOR OUR FOSTER BABY

      Wednesday is a big day! We have been invited to the permanency conference for our 10-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit.  A permanency conference is a meeting that the State holds to discuss a plan for permanency for a foster child with the involved parties.

      The first permanency conference is held when a child is first removed, where the plan for permanent placement is almost always reunification with the parents. In this meeting, everything the parent has to do to be reunited with their children is discussed with all the tasks spelled out for them.

      Another is held later, especially if the parent has not complied with the permanency plan. My husband and I showed up for one with another foster child, where the case worker didn’t think we should attend and sent us on our way since the State was going to discuss terminating the mother’s parental rights. (She had disappeared for a month and a half on a drug binge)

      Remember, our strange day in court last month, where we showed up expecting a hearing on whether or not the baby stays with us or moves to his great-aunt’s home? With the CASA and baby’s ad litem attorney pushing for a familial placement with the great-aunt, we were preparing to pack the baby’s things and say good-bye. We were shocked when the recommendation from the State and CASA was for the baby to remain with us until another hearing in September!

      However, last week, through our attorney, I received the status report from the State on this case. The State is moving for terminating the mother’s parental rights!  We had no idea!  The mother is mentally-challenged and recently moved back in with her abusive grandmother. She has lived in 4 places in 6 months.

      Another important thing we learned from the status report is that there is a cousin wanting custody of Lil Bit.

      A list of those in line for Lil Bit:

      • Lil Bit’s great-aunt – barely passed home study due to previous investigations, but State and others are recommending this familial placement for Lil Bit
      • US – foster parents for most of the 10 months of Lil Bit’s life
      • The Cons – has Lil Bit’s 5 other siblings and is collecting a disability check on ALL of them (actually told State investigator that they would get Lil Bit by buying the mother “a shiny, new cell phone”)
      • AND NOW, A COUSIN HAS COME OUT OF THE WOOD WORK!!!
      Where were these family members with the last 5 children the mother lost custody of ?
      Please say a quick prayer for us Wednesday morning!
      “And we know that all things God work together for good to those who love God” – Romans 8:28
      Here’s a picture I recently took of our Lil Bit with my 12-year-old puppy that suffers from ADHD/OCD.
      Check out the other pet photos at iheartfaces.

      by

      FOSTER BABY 9 , I mean, 10 MONTHS OLD TODAY!

      Lil Bit is 9 10 months old today!  But we may have to rename Lil Bit to Lil Chunk. He weighs nearly 23 pounds! Our nearly 3-year-old, Stinkpot, weighs only 29 pounds. He is 9 10 months old today and most of his 12-month clothes are too small!  He only wore these 12-month clothes for 1 month! I guess I’ll get up into the attic next weekend…

      Did any of your kids grow this fast???

      Update on Lil Bit’s case — We received a notice for a permanency conference in 2 weeks. We have no idea what this is about. Our guess is maybe the State is moving toward terminating the mother’s rights, or it could be that the State wants to discuss how to protect Lil Bit if he is moved to his great-aunt’s home.  We received a notice of discovery from the mother’s attorney so it might be the former.

      Lil Bit’s new case worker will return to the office on Monday so we will invite her to visit our home so that we can meet her and possibly learn more about the status.

      Y’all have a great weekend with your family!
      Hugs!
      p.s. I had to correct the blog this morning, as my wonderful husband so gently reminded me that Lil Bit is 10 months old today and not 9 months old as I had previously posted…you know, I am an Aggie.

      I’m Clever

      Sway