In December 2009, a precious 4-month-old baby boy was placed in our home – a pre-adoptive placement (or so we thought).
At 4 years old, he now tells his adoption story:
“I was under the Christmas tree — I was a present!“
I cannot imagine my life without my precious LilBit. His affectionate, sensitive soul touches me deeper than I ever thought imaginable. I love him so much! He may not have my DNA, but he certainly has my heart!
It’s Christmas and what over 107,000 foster kids in the US want, can’t be put under a Christmas tree. It’s a home and a forever family!
The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption (DTFA) is airing its 15th annual television special that features uplifting stories of adoption from foster care tonight (Wednesday, December 18th, 2013). Join me on Facebook and Twitter to chat during the show. #AHFTH
If you are new to this website or would like to learn more about adoption from foster care, you can join our community of foster parents or read about our journey to get our foster care license.
Two years ago, on National Adoption Day, we adopted a little boy that had been brought to us as a baby in foster care.
The video of our National Adoption Day story.
Check out the National Adoption Awareness Month blog tour stories from other foster parenting blogs.
Enter the $60 Amazon giveaway below – ends November 30th!
National Adoption Day is a national effort to raise awareness of the more than 107,000 children in foster care waiting to find permanent, loving families. Two years ago, on National Adoption Day, we officially became the forever family for a little boy that had been brought to us as a baby in foster care.
This year’s spokesperson for National Adoption Day is Rachel Crow, The X Factor standout, Nickelodeon star and Columbia Records recording artist., who was adopted as a “crack baby” from foster care. I was thrilled to have the opportunity to interview Rachel and hear her adoption story and passion for foster care adoption.
Here is the video of me interviewing this young star. At 4:30 minutes into the video, I asked her advice to foster kids ashamed of their past. The maturity of her answer amazes me!
Here is the link to my interview with Rachel Crow.
Be sure and enter our $60 giveaway for an Amazon or PayPal gift card!
November is National Adoption Awareness Month to raise awareness of the 107,000 foster children available for adoption. I’ve teamed up with several bloggers that have adopted from foster care (or are in the process) for a blog tour! Throughout the month, I will be featuring a different blog and their unique adoption story.
And we are giving away a $60 to Amazon or PayPal!!! Just in time for Christmas! This giveaway ends at midnight on November 30th! So are you ready to meet some fabulous foster parents?
If you also blog about your adventures in foster parenting, leave your link in the comments!
Two days before we adopted our LilBit, I received a surprising call that LilBit’s birthmother had a newborn Baby Brother. We were the first family called so siblings could be together. We lamented on the decision of whether to have Baby Brother join our family.
Could we handle THREE rambunctious little boys, especially at our age?
Declining the placement of LilBit’s Baby Brother was the most heart-wrenching decision I’ve ever had to make. That one decision would change not only our lives, but so many other lives too.
We have been blessed in that Baby Brother has an incredible family, and he is their pride and joy! We have an open relationship with Baby Brother’s family and see each other occasionally.
Here are two brothers exhausted from swimming.
Can you figure out which little boy is our LilBit and which is his Baby Brother? Even LilBit can’t tell the difference!
Are you on Pinterest?
Pinterest can be so much more than recipes, beauty tips, and crafts I will never do! My sister and I have decided that Pinterest gives mothers this impossible standard of having a perfectly decorated home…while eating delectable foods… while wearing fun fashionable outfits… and being SKINNY! Are you kidding me?
My goal as a foster mom raising traumatized children is to get through each day without too many meltdowns!!! However, through Pinterest I have found numerous informative articles on being a foster/adoptive mom.
Are you following my Pinterest board on Foster Parenting?
I also have an Adoption board on Pinterest!
Are you on Pinterest? Leave your link below so we can follow each other!!!
“How long have you been off birth control?” the doctor asked at my annual checkup.
“Two and a half years,” I responded.
“Let’s run a few tests on you and your husband to see what is going on, okay?”
Blood tests, MRI, ultrasounds, urologist referral, surgery for the husband and at the end, there was no hope of ever becoming pregnant. We were infertile! Devastated! This was in the Spring of 1993, three and half years after we had been married. We prayed, and then tried to move on.
Through a friend of a friend, a miracle occurred and we privately adopted a newborn baby girl who was born in July of 93. This year-long process to adopt her totally wiped us out both emotionally and financially (there were all kinds of complications). Although we were happy that we had a child, we were struggling emotionally over the disappointment that we would never have our large family.
After several years of heartbreak – never experiencing the miracle of pregnancy – our hearts began to soften toward the idea of adoption. But we knew we couldn’t afford a baby, nor did we want there to be a huge age difference between any of the children.
Our daily newspaper runs a weekly series “Wednesday’s Child” that profiles a child who is in the foster care system who was needing a forever family. One Wednesday, we found a child who would fit great into our family. It was at that moment that we knew that we needed to look at adopting through foster care. We took our classes, got our foster care license and adoption certification, and eventually adopted a nine-year-old girl. As we walked out of the courthouse after the adoption hearing was over, our newly-adopted daughter and our oldest daughter told our licensing worker: “Let’s do this again! We want another little sister!”
Eighteen months later, we adopted an eight-year-old little girl — after that, a three-year-old boy — and then a nine-year-old boy. None of these children are biological siblings, yet they have woven themselves together as brothers and sisters.
We have been married for twenty-three years and our children are now 19, 16, 13, 10, and 6. Our oldest daughter and her husband have an 11-month-old baby boy. We recently opened our hearts and home to fostering the 0-4 years old age group. We currently have four placements; sibling brothers ages 2 and 4, an 18-month-old boy and a 12-month-old girl. To our surprise, there is a possibility that each of them may become permanent members of our family as well.
It has been years since grief has overwhelmed us at the idea of not having our own biological children. Baby showers are now fun to attend. Ultrasound photos and pregnant bellies on Facebook are now moment of joy instead of jealousy. Although we would welcome a pregnancy, we believe that God has richly blessed us with our perfect family through adoption.
Cathy Eley is a 44-year-old stay-at-home mom who two years ago left a local government supervisory position after twenty years to be a full time mom to five adopted children plus a foster mom to children under age 4. She received a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration in 2011. She married her high school sweetheart who is an elementary school principal in the school district that she grew up in. They have struggled with infertility their entire marriage yet been blessed through adoption with five children. Our family motto is “One At A Time”. Our life verse is Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” They are active in their local church in Scottsdale, AZ and enjoy loving on children as much as they can.
Doubt. For me, doubt is an overwhelming emotion that leads to incurable guilt. My journey through infertility created incredible doubt about my life decisions. Doubt about my decisions to focus on my career and delay marriage until age 40. Doubt about my decisions of waiting after marriage to begin a family. Doubt about my decisions to not continue fertility treatments. Through my journey of infertility, I felt alone in my desperation to become a mother. That insatiable desire to conceive a child began consuming my thoughts and devouring my life.
In November 2006, our fertility specialist gave us grim news: “Your eggs are gone. You will need an egg donor if you want to conceive.” That was it! Our hope to conceive a child was over within two years of marriage. I felt alone in my grief as a failure as a woman. My sweet husband was encouraging me that there was a child – a child we hadn’t met. A child that would be ours that might not even been born yet.
After grieving through the Christmas holidays, we began the year 2007 renewed with determination to bring a child into our family. With our “older age”, we were limited in our adoption choices and began our quest to become a licensed foster home.
We logged hundreds of miles traveling across Texas actively pursuing that elusive foster care license, during a move. Finally, on March 4, 2008, after over a year of wading through the licensing process, a phone call changed our lives forever. A caseworker said: “We have a baby boy for foster only.” She repeated, “Foster only.”
That 8-month-old baby boy pierced his way into my heart, changing me forever. I was overwhelmed with instant motherhood: “What does an 8-month-old eat?” My heart rejoiced as my body ached for sleep. I was exuberant to be a mother to this baby boy, if even for a short time.
As a foster parent, a child maybe part of your family for short time, sometimes forever. Against all odds, this baby boy’s birthfamily made a sudden decision we weren’t expecting. “He’s better off where he is.” This foster child would become our forever son! We finalized the adoption of our baby boy in the summer 2009.
Around this time, I discovered the expansive, online world of blogging. I began writing online about my journey through motherhood and our foster care adoption experience. Over time, other foster parents began following our journey and sharing their experiences and frustration with the foster care system. I love how this blog has developed into a community.
Through blogging, my hope is to encourage others that it doesn’t matter how you become a parent. Becoming a foster mother to a baby boy changed me – changed my focus. My infertility wasn’t an issue any longer. Being a mom to this neglected child became my focus. By hope is to encourage others that infertility is just a journey: the end result is that you can become a parent to a child that needs one.
Over time, the fact that my sons are adopted makes no difference. Those little boys, although not my DNA, are my sons. And it doesn’t matter how they joined our family. We are a family.
Join the movement to become a foster parent. Over 250,000 children in the foster care system need a home – some foster children need a home for a while, yet some foster children are legally free for adoption and need a forever home now. Who knows? One just might become your forever son or daughter.
You can learn more about the disease of infertility and about National Infertility Awareness Week.
