Foster2Forever

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ADDICTIONS, ADOPTION AND THE BLOGOSPHERE…

MY ADDICTION…
Last week, I finally admitted to the world the intensity of my addiction.  Call it – a Freudian slip – or something…
This week, as I was filling out a questionnaire for life insurance, aliens took over my body (or blame it on the 107 heat here in Texas), as I began checking YES down the page.
YES – I have or currently use cocaine, marijuana, opiates, heroin, etc.
YES – I have or currently are seeking treatment for alcoholism….
Oops! I must be delirious from the heat.
I completed a NEW form yesterday!

ADOPTION…
May be around the corner – This week, our 1-year-old foster baby’s birth mother will be voluntarily relinquishing her parental rights!!! Lil Bit will officially be available for adoption by the end of the month!!!

Thanks for all your support, advice, prayers during this time.  Last month, I came to a peace about Lil Bit being our child – thanks for all your prayers!

Now the next hurdle – and it’s a HUGE one – is his citizenship. You see, Lil Bit is a Mexican citizen. Who knows how long it will take to make this baby citizen of the United States???  I’ve already begun teaching him the Pledge of Allegiance – even though – the only word he says right now is, of course, Dada!
This will probably turn into a type of international adoption before it’s over!

AROUND THE BLOGOSPHERE…
I loved this post by Kristin at Adventures of a Betty Crocker Wanna Be writing about the day she received her special gift of her son, Cooper.

Here is a really neat post at Grown in My Heart of 2 brothers separated by adoption reunited years later. Isn’t that such a great photo?

And if you haven’t seen this post by Kristen at Rage Against the Minivan – Who doesn’t just love it when an adoption is finalized?

Check out Wendi Aarons’ post on Fun Things to Do When the Heat Index is 107 Degrees!
(I kind of like the idea of a snow cone bra.)

Have a great week and come back tomorrow to hear a continuation of our love story!
Don’t forget to link up your funny posts, pictures, stories, etc. on Friday!

Hugs to y’all!

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HELP! Open Adoption – Birth Family Contact – How Much?

CONTACT WITH THE BIRTH FAMILY – After adoption, how open would you be?

A question we never really considered when we chose to adopt through foster care.
A question posed to us yesterday.
A question we have to answer before Monday.
A question we desperately need help in answering.

Here’s the story!
Last night, we met with Lil Bit’s Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) and State case worker.  The State is seeking to terminate the parental rights of the birth mother due to a mental capacity issue.  On Monday, the State will be meeting with the birth mother to discuss her options of State termination versus her voluntary relinquishment.

In this meeting, the State wants to present to the birth mother as part of a voluntary reliquishment, the option of a semi-open adoption.  The State also want to present continued contact to Lil Bit’s great-aunt.

Steve and I have come up with this first laundry list of birth family contacts –
How could each of these individual contacts in this list affect Lil Bit’s future in our family?

  • Occasional daytime phone communication
  • Letter correspondence
  • Electronic communication
  • Photosharing website (Shutterfly) or other photo exchange
  • Invitations to birthday parties or birthday visit
  • Christmas time visit
  • Extracurricular activities/performances
  • Attending cultural or family events/celebrations with biological family

Please, please, please let us know your experiences with birth family contact/communication!

Thanks for all your support and prayers during this process. Hopefully, the end is in sight!

Hugs!

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Worship and Praise Sunday – Live Out Loud

Today is Sunday: a day to worship and praise Him! I’m joining Infertile Myrtle today, who like me, deals with infertility and moving on…

Although we adopted Stinkpot a year ago next Thursday, I still deal with a sense of loss from our inability to conceive; however, with 2 little ones – I’m too busy to think about it much…

Stinkpot’s adoption has been such a blessing in my life! One of my “formerly single” friends in Houston just adopted a beautiful little Korean baby this week! Because of cost, we never really considered international adoption; however, Steven Curtis Chapman has created Show Hope to aid families with the cost of international adoption.

Here is his song, “Live Out Loud” – the first song of his that made me a fan of SCC! Enjoy!

Imagine this…I get a phone call from Regis
He says, “Do you want to be a millionaire?”
They put me on the show and I win with two lifelines to spare
Now picture this…I act like nothing ever happened
And bury all the money in a coffee can
Well, I’ve been given more than Regis ever gave away
I was a dead man who was called to come out of my grave
And I think it’s time for makin’ some noise

Wake the neighbors, get the word out
Come on…crank up the music…climb a mountain and shout
This is life we’ve been given made to be lived out
So la la la la live out loud
Live out loud, yeah

Think about this…try to keep a bird from singing
After it’s soared up in the sky
Give the sun a cloudless day and tell it not to shine
Now think about this…if we really have been given
The gift of a life that will never end
And if we have been filled with living hope we’re gonna overflow
And if God’s love is burning in our hearts we’re gonna glow
There’s just no way to keep it in

Everybody, come on
La la la…la la la la
La la la live out loud
I want to hear everybody sing
La la la…la la la la
La la la live out loud, loud, loud

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ABOUT US

Look it’s a blog hop!

Howdy, y’all!

I’m a mid-40s first time mom! Yep! A late bloomer at its best! You see, I was a single girl in the big city of Houston, Texas all through the 1990s +. Then in 2004, my life changed drastically forever through a whirlwind romance and marriage!

I moved from a city of 4 million to a town of 1,400 and began trying to conceive at age 40. In less than 2 years, our fertility doctor told us that all my eggs were gone and should realistically look at adopting a child.

We began the process to become foster parents in Jan 2007 hoping to adopt through our state’s foster care program. After a move back to our hometown and struggles with state licensing staff, we officially became foster parents to Stinkpot on March 4, 2008 and adopted him over a year later on my husband’s 50th birthday in August 2009.

Through this journey, we have been foster parents to 4 girls (age 2-12), having to say goodbye and wonder how they are doing.

We currently have a 1-year-old baby boy (Lil Bit) that we foster and would like to eventually adopt: however, his case is a MESS!

On this blog, I share our struggles and joys of being foster parents and eventually becoming a forever family!

I hope you enjoy our adventures in foster care! Hold on because it can be a crazy ride!

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FOSTER BABY AND OTHER MISCELLANEOUS THINGS

The hardest part of adopting through foster care is the uncertainty of a final adoption.

Our 10-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit, was placed in our home after a violent dispute between the mother and her grandmother, last December. The mother had had her parental rights terminated with her 5 previous children which were not placed with relatives. We were told the baby would be ours for adoption. (oops!)

This case has been a complete mess and $6,000 in legal fees later – Lil Bit is still with us until a custody hearing in late September. You can read the history HERE.

We had a permanency meeting last month to discuss the forever plan for Lil Bit and his mother’s progress for reunification.  When a child is first removed, the parents and the State draw up a permanency plan checklist that lays out all the individual steps a parent must do in order to be reunified with their child(ren). Items include things as routine (for the normal responsible population) as getting (and keeping) a job or income and finding a place to live independently.  Other things include drug testing, anger management classes, parenting classes, first aid training, and individual or group counseling.

In the meeting, Lil Bit’s mentally-challenged birth mother showed that she is working hard to complete everything on the permanency plan checklist to get back custody of her baby. She had completed all the training and is now receiving SSI and will be moving into government housing soon. She has purchased a baby bed and high chair for Lil Bit, fully anticipating his return.

This is the saddest part! After all of her hard work, in this meeting, a State worker looked the birth mother in the face and told her,

“We do not believe that you have the mental capacity to care for the baby by yourself.
The current plan for permanency for this baby is adoption.“

I felt so horrible for this mother. She really has no clue and neither does her mother.

The State’s current plan is adoption by the baby’s great-aunt.  The birth mother and grandmother oppose this adoption and stated in the meeting that they want us to adopt Lil Bit instead of their family.  They stated that the uncle is a weekend disc jockey and there is a lot of alcohol consumption in the home. “They like to party.” The State did acknowledge that they did need to “check out some things” in regard to their home study.

The CASA stated that another court hearing will occur before our original September 22nd custody hearing. We believe that the State will be seeking to terminate the birth mother’s parental rights before September, but we do not know.

The good news is that Lil Bit will stay with us in the meantime. More time to be a true blessing in our home!

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I just heard that everything is fine for the licensing of our home for the 18-year-old with Asperger’s Syndrome.  We still haven’t heard from his case worker and are assuming they found a home for him.

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Yesterday, our 3-year-old Stinkpot, was very upset with us for not taking him with us to “Big Church” after Sunday School.  So last night, we took him with us to Sunday evening worship since there wasn’t any childcare that night.  He did GREAT, sitting up in his chair, paying close attention – UNTIL – the singing stopped.  Then continually, loudly whining politely asking to go to “his class”.

So he and I went outside to the church playground, split a Wendy’s Apple Pecan Chicken Salad, and enjoyed a special “Mommy and Me” picnic!

Mommy and Me Monday at Really, Are You Serious? Hosted by Krystyn
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Remember to enter this month’s GIVEAWAY! Foster2Forever is giving away an autographed copy of Spoken from the Heart signed by Laura Bush, the former First Lady herself!

Remember to enter a comment, if you are already a follower or subscriber!

Have a great week!

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MY BABY BOY IS 3 YEARS OLD TODAY!!!

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It’s hard to believe that my Stinkpot is 3 years old today!

I honestly can’t remember anything of July 1, 2007. It was a Sunday. I’m sure we were at church. I’m sure my stepson was at his mom’s for the month of July. So it was just me and my wonderful husband alone together. But I don’t remember what we did that day or where we ate lunch.

Thinking of my little boy’s birthday in this way saddens me. On his birthday each year, I can’t share with him even one detail of his birth.

You see, we adopted Stinkpot through our state’s foster care program.

What I can share with him through the years, is how much he changed my life on March 4, 2008 – the day of his arrival. Our plans on that election day changed from attending our voting precinct convention to “how are we ever going to get this baby to sleep”! You can read more about his arrival on THIS POST.

The Gift of Life
I didn’t give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.

For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I didn’t give you The gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you.
— Unknown

 
Y’all have a blessed week!
~penny
 
 p.s. Due to technological problems, I will not be able to announce the giveaway until this weekend.

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I HEART TEXAS BLUEBONNETS!!!

I love the bluebonnets in the spring here in Texas!
Two years ago, we were blessed with a beautiful 8-month-old baby boy placed in our home for foster care.
Last summer, we finalized his adoption and became his forever family.

Here is his picture in the bluebonnets I took recently…

I entered this picture in this week’s iheartfaces photography challenge for the theme “flowers”.

I took his first picture in the bluebonnets 2 years ago, when he was barely 9 months old,
not long after he came into our home.

I love this little boy!
You can read the story of his foster-adoption on this post!
Thanks for visiting!!!

Y’all have a great week!
~penny
http://foster2forever.blogspot.com

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HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

On this Mother’s Day with my children (adopted & foster) – –


The Gift of Life
I didn’t give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.

For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I didn’t give you The gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you.
— Unknown


Have a great Mother’s Day!
Hugs to y’all,
~penny
http://txpenelope.blogspot.com

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BABY FOR FOSTER CARE ONLY…LATER ADOPTED!

On Tuesday, March 4, 2008 at around 3pm, I received a call from CPS for an 8-month-old baby boy that needed a foster home. “Foster only“, she repeated twice. “Sure!” was my quick response.

If you recall, that was election day. My husband & I were planning to attend our precinct convention that evening & were excited about the possibility of attending the Texas Republican convention again, this time in a presidential election year.However, this call from CPS changed our focus from that night forward.

A CPS investigator from an adjacent county arrived at our home at 6:45 that Tuesday evening carrying in her arms the cutest baby boy. His bright eyes lit up as he smiled at us for the first time. His bottom 2 teeth gleaming. He was wearing an olive corduroy jacket over his navy onesie with the cutest navy & white striped pants. He was wearing navy tennis shoes! So adorable!


I can only rely on my memory as I didn’t have the foresight to grab my camera.
(A mistake I haven’t made again!)

As the CPS investigator began telling us the story on this baby, we were thinking “how can anybody neglect a baby that way?” He came with next to nothing & had been kept in his car seat & dirty diapers. What a horrible diaper rash he had! (This is one reason we are having such a difficult time potty-training him now!) He was 8 months old & couldn’t sit up or even roll over! He was also very sick. (Look at those poor little sick eyes!)

JD’s sick little eyes when he arrived

That first night was TORTURE! He was so congested that he could only sleep 15 minutes at a time – ALL NIGHT LONG! It was the most exhausting night of my life!

The next morning I drove 1-1/2 to pick up my mother-in-law to help me. I had no idea how to care for an infant! (When pregnant, you have nearly 8-9 months to prepare.) I was an instant Mommy!
For the next 2 weeks, we had DAILY trips to Walmart to pick up some type of baby paraphernalia that we needed. I was absolutely, totally FRAZZLED for at least 6 weeks solid – overwhelmed by the incredible responsibility of instant motherhood!
As time went on, it became more apparent that this baby wouldn’t be going back to his mother. He did have a full brother 2 years older that was living with his paternal grandmother. The baby would have been sent to live with his grandmother, but she was already raising SIX of her other grandchildren!
Once the mother’s rights were terminated, the grandmother realized that we could provide more for the baby than she could & decided to allow us to adopt him.
Here he is on the day we adopted him!
What a handsome little man he is!
What a blessing he has been to our lives!

I’m Clever

Sway