Foster2Forever

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365-Day Transformation: Word{ful} Wednesday

Our 3-year-old, Stinkpot, is the most strong-willed, demanding, hard-headed, stubborn, ornery, obstinate, cantankerous little rascal you will ever meet. He is impossible!

He even bosses us, as parents, around. “No, drive this way!” “Put that over there!” “No, I’ll do it!”

And when he doesn’t get his way, watch out! His tirade jumps full steam ahead. He becomes this loud, fit-throwing, aggressive little monster.

He has now become so aggressive, his reputation in our area precedes him since getting kicked out of TWO, yes TWO, daycares. We struggle to find anyone in their right mind willing to take on the wrath of Stinkpot.

Not too happy after getting hit in the eye with a baseball
Don’t get me wrong, he is an extraordinary work of God, beautifully and perfectly made.
Gorgeous, athletic and smart!

God has a perfect plan for our precious Stinkpot. Our job as his parents, is to train him in the right way and when he is old, he will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

Our Stinkpot is determined, head-strong, persistent, and tenacious. These very characteristics that are driving us crazy as parents, will be incredible, if directed toward a life with our Lord Jesus Christ. WOW! Can you imagine the treasures that would be stored in Heaven for our Stinkpot?

So we begin a journey. A LONG journey – toward transformation. January 1st was the first day of our first 365-day journey to intently focus on our Stinkpot’s transformation.

We are rolling up our sleeves and delving into God’s Word and any parenting resources that He lays out for us. Each step will be documented along this journey.

Focusing on transformation of our Stinkpot will be difficult if I am also working full-time; therefore, I will be taking family leave and working part-time (just to keep things going at the office and pay for our health care).

Please pray for our family!

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MISCELLANY MONDAY

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase lettersTHAT SURGERY
Thanks for all the well wishes for our 16-month-old who is recovering from THAT surgery. The second day when the local anesthesia wore off was the worst pain for him. After that, he has been in good spirits and even playing outside. He can’t bathe for a few more days and he does NOT like to shower.

STINKPOT’S SURGERY
We opted to NOT have tubes put in Stinkpot’s ears this week. It was just too difficult for FosterDad with 2 little ones at home by himself. (I came home Wednesday after work and FosterDad was still in his pajamas and quite flustered)

STINKPOT’S BEHAVIOR
Our 3-year-old’s behavior is still a challenge! He has now been kicked out 2 day cares for aggression.Yesterday, he had a knife from the silverware drawer and was threatening to cut us. “I cut you!”

MY DECISION
I have made the decision to stay home with him. I will work part-time during Mother’s Day Out and use family leave. (I haven’t told my boss yet) The child needs a LOT of TLC and individual attention, and he just won’t get that at a day care from 2 workers with 23 other kids. The Mother’s Day Out has just a few kids for the short time he is there.

2011 GOALS/RESOLUTIONS
I had a huge list of goals to share with you, for health, kids, marriage, faith, blogging but given the issues with Stinkpot, I have thrown those all out.

2011 will be defined for me by one word! Everything will revolve around the word: TRANSFORMATION.

MY PRAYER
LORD,
TRANSFORM me;
TRANSFORM my child;
TRANSFORM our family.

NEXT STEPS
I have begun a 365-day Transformation Project.

Praying, focusing on HIM,
Praying, focusing on Stinkpot,
Praying, researching child behavior,
Praying, trying a new tip or technique every day,
Praying, documenting Stinkpot’s actions and reactions,
Praying….

Will you pray for us during this journey?  Can you recommend any books, websites, etc.?

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THAT Surgery – Wordless Wednesday

Yesterday, our 16-month-old foster boy survived THAT surgery. (Genesis 17:11)
In case you didn’t know, Lil Bit was born in Mexico.
Nothing to eat since Monday night. Drank 5 ounces of water at 6 a.m. First appointment at 9:30 a.m. Surgery postponed until 2:30 p.m.!!!

Lil Bit was one thirsty and hungry baby!!!

We finally got home around 6 p.m. last night.
Although tired, we had a great night at home together.
However, the local wears off today. Yikes!

Fortunately, he’s not talking yet to tell us what he thinks of us doing this to him. What do you think he would have to say about this?

Stinkpot is scheduled to get tubes in his ears Thursday (for the THIRD time). Ug!

Wordish Wednesday

 

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Prayer Warriors Needed

As foster parents, we sometimes have to face the tearing apart of our families. A family is fragmented with a letter stating that a child will be removed and placed elsewhere.


The State doesn’t always have the best interests of the child in mind when making these decisions. Sometimes the removal of a child is what is quickest, easiest and will require the least amount of paperwork.

Shannon at http://4kidsandsurviving.blogspot.com needs prayer warriors! Little Mya needs prayer!

The State is quickly moving toward reunification with her birthfamily and the 2-year-old is distressed over leaving her foster family.

Please add Mya and all her family and workers to your prayer list.

“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” ~Ephesians 6:18

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MAMA FOSTER: Adopting Through Foster Care

Hello Everyone!

My name is Mama Foster, I choose to hide who I am so I can share the REAL stories of fostering my wonderful kids.

I want to thank Penny for letting me guest post!  I love her blog (I check it up to twice a day!) – I am a total blog stalker!

I thought I would share with you guys a little of what I have learned about adopting through foster care because, trust me, it is nothing like I thought it would be!

My husband and I have an 8 year old son that we made the old fashion way.  After my annoyingly eventful pregnancy I really didn’t have any desire to get pregnant again.  He was born healthy and beautiful and I was thankful for that, and that it was over with!!  So, we went almost 5 years without being too worried about adding more kids to our family-plus we were young, we had time.

So, after my son’s 6th birthday I FINALLY was feeling baby crazy, but not pregnancy crazy.  My husband and I had always thought about adoption but it never became quite as real as it did when my husband finally said “We should just adopt!” after I had asked God to show me if we should adopt by having my husband finally be the one to bring it up!

So, long story short, we settled on foster to adopt.  Sounds easy right?  -all you foster moms can stop laugh now –

We got licensed and our first call was for a 2 year old little girl we were only supposed to have for 3 months.

We had her for 16 wonderful months.
Yankee Hat walk 64 Camp fireWe were head over heels in love with her.

We had walked through fire for her and with her.
We had hoped to adopt her.

And then the judge sent her back to her ill prepared mom.

That was only 3 weeks ago, if that.

Our wounds are still fresh, and though I have not mentioned them, we have had 2 other foster children as well.  One went on to be adopted by someone else and one is still with us but will probably be returned to her mother as well.

What I have learned through ALL of this is that these children desperately need someone who is willing to risk everything to love them during this time of total upheaval in their lives.  As I mentioned on my own blog a few days ago, I was very scared that we would not be able to handle a child we loved leaving.  Little did I know what it would really do.  My daughter, yes-MY daughter, leaving has lit a fire inside of me.

I saw the sadness in her eyes of going in between our two homes.

I saw the confusion of having 2 mommies.

I was there when she told me her uncle was molesting her – repeatedly.

I took her to the ER.

I did everything within my legal power to help her.

When I say that we walked through fire for her, it was truly WITH her.  These children have to do this with OR without us.  They can either live with a family that gives them 100% or one who isn’t worried about what is going on in their little hearts.  I went into this to adopt, to get my kids and get out-but that wasn’t God’s plan.

He has called us to do more than what we planned.  He has called us to give up some of our comfort for a little one that has all of theirs stripped away.

Fire in the skyOh, and in the mean time God had been working behind the scenes to bring our family hope after such a devastating loss.

The week after our daughter left we finally met a little boy that we have been asked to adopt.

He is almost 2 years old, and has blonde hair and greenish eyes just like our biological son.

God does not miss a thing.  He has a plan and I truly mean it when I say, we are just blessed to be asked to be part of it.


Mama Foster is a 20 something mom and wife who has been married to her awesome hubby for 9 years.  She has fostered 3 kids so far since she and her husband were licensed to foster 2 years ago.  She and her husband are currently working to get their first official adoptable son home as soon as possible, the adoption is via the United States Foster Care System.  She enjoys spoiling all her kids rotten and taking pictures of them while she does it.  She blogs her heart out at http://mamafoster.blogspot.com

Be sure to add your adoption story to our blog hop!!!

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I WON! I WON!

Can you believe it? I won the I Heart Faces giveaway to their DREAM BIG photography workshop in Dallas!!! A $249 ticket! Woo! Hoo! So excited! I haven’t won anything this big since I won $75 at bingo when I was 14 years old! Except…

This week I also won a photo book party for me and 14 of my friends from Shutterfly and House Party! Everyone at the party gets a free hard cover 8×8 photo book (worth $29.99 each) PLUS 10 free photo Christmas cards. How cool is that?  “I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it…”

Then, last night, Stinkpot and I went to the grocery store and, can you believe it??? – He was an instant winner with his HEB Buddy Bucks!!!

So here I am now entering a photo of beef for this week’s photography challenge at I Heart Faces….

Here’s the recipe I found recently on allrecipes that is both my husband’s and my favorite. The combination of the balsamic vinegar marinade and caramelized onion with blue cheese is incredible!!!

SMOTHERED FILET MIGON

4 (6 oz) filet mignon steaks
seasoned salt to taste
cracked black pepper to taste
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
2 teaspoons dried rosemary
1 tablespoon butter
1 onion, sliced
1 teaspoon white sugar or Splenda
4 oz blue cheese, crumbled

  1. Season steaks with seasoned salt and black pepper, and arrange in a single layer in a large baking dish. In a bowl, whisk together olive oil, balsamic vinegar, mustard, and rosemary. Pour mixture over filets, and turn to coat. Marinate for up to 8 hours.
  2. While you are marinating the meat, melt the butter in a skillet over medium heat. Cook onion slices in butter until soft, then stir in sugar. Continue cooking until onions are caramelized. Set aside.
  3. Preheat grill for high heat on one side, and medium heat on the other side.
  4. Lightly oil the grill grate. Place steaks on the hot side of the grill, and cook for 10 minutes, turning once. When the steaks are almost done, move to the cooler side of the grill. Top each filet with a quarter of the caramelized onions and blue cheese. Close the lid, and continue cooking until the cheese is melted.

Maybe my lucky streak will continue??? Next – LOTTERY TICKETS!!!

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Our Love Story – The Night We First Talked

I’m really dragging this out, aren’t I? Here is the next part of our love story as told by my foxy husband, Steve!

The first part of this story is when Steve arrives at our church (as told by me). Read it first!
Then, don’t forget to read his side of the beginning!
And then read my side of our first conversation.

The story continues…(according to Steve)

After the long, uncomfortable 15-hour drive to another state, I had gotten very little sleep. I did, however, manage to meet most of the young people on the bus.

The second night at camp, after our group devotion, several of the young people came up to me and told me that this cute little brunette I had met on the bus, was upset and needed to talk to one of the counselors. I made my way to her and asked her if I could help.

That night, she opened up to me, sharing all that was going on in her life. We talked and talked for nearly 4 hours. By the time we got to our rooms, it was 2 am and everyone in both dorms was fast asleep. As a counselor, I was in big trouble!

But, the hours we spent talking that first night would only be a small dent in the many hours we would spend talking when we returned home.

Upon the return to Central Texas, it became our ritual after each church service to meet by the propane tank at the back of the church. Sometimes, we each would share what was going on in our lives, and other times, we would just be silly and joke around. Each week, we would talk for hours, and it was always very late when we would finally say our last goodbyes.

One night after church, we had talked for several hours when I realized how late it had actually gotten. I felt guilty and insisted that I drive her home (she usually walked to and from church). I felt I needed to apologize to her father for keeping her out so late. I’m not sure Penny ever knew how scared I was to approach her father that night, (I thought there was a chance he might shoot me), but he was gracious and thanked me for driving her home.

Our friendship grew deeper during that summer and I began to care very deeply for this young girl, though dating her at this time was totally out of the question…

Come back next week for the rest of the story…

Don’t forget to link up a funny post to win a cool giveaway!

5 MINUTES FOR MOM


Simply Being Mommy 125x125

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MISCELLANY MONDAY – Orphan, Mood Swings and Halloween

OUR LIL ORPHAN
Last Tuesday was a court hearing for Lil Bit, our 13-month-old foster boy. I was out-of-town and so my hubby was there when the judge terminated the birthmother’s parental rights.  Our foster baby is now officially half an orphan!  I say that since the birthfather has not been located. The State is working with the Mexican consulate to make a good faith effort to locate him. Until then…

MOOD SWINGS
If you follow my blog, our 3-year-old Stinkpot’s strong will has been an incredible challenge for us. Last week was horrible!  Again! Temper tantrums, mood swings, and general meanness has made us worry about him.  Stinkpot’s birthfamily has a history of mental instability, and we have been seriously discussing taking him to a child psychologist for counseling, not just for him, but for us, in order to deal with him.

However, on Friday, when I went for my annual physical exam, my doctor asked me if I was having any depression or mood swings from Singulair.  (“I’m too busy with kids to even think of being depressed” was my reply.)

Since Stinkpot has been taking Singular for his asthma for nearly 2 years now – maybe Singulair could be his issue???

I have a call into his doctor to discuss it!!!

HALLOWEEN
Can you believe it’s less than 4 weeks away?  Have you already begun the quest for the perfect Halloween costume for you and your kids?  Isn’t this just the cutest costume for less than $10?

Have a great week!

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters

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Our Love Story Continues: Our First Conversation…

The first part of this story is when FosterDad arrives at our church. Read it first!
Then, don’t forget to read his side of the beginning!

My parents had separated just before Christmas of 1978 and were divorcing.  My grandfather had recently died, and my mom was now living 4 hours away. Being 14 years old at the time, I was embroiled in the middle of a heated court battle over the custody over me and my 2 younger sisters. I had no idea where I was going to be going to school the next school year.

And if my world wasn’t falling apart enough, my best friend, Sonya, was moving away that summer!  Somehow, someway, I was invited to spend a week at church camp with her before she moved away.

Sonya and I were so excited over our first “real” camp experience and being able to spend a whole week – 7 full days together!  Long before the bus pulled out for the journey across Texas to New Mexico, Sonya and I were sitting on the bus together giggling and being silly together as we did so well.

THEN, that foxy preacher’s son strolled onto the bus. He was making his way down the aisle and sat in the seat across from us! GULP! My heart skipped a beat when he spoke to me, and my shyness overtook my personality.

Me at age 14

“So, what’s your name?”

“Penelope”

“I’m Steve.”

“Hi.”

“So, what grade are you in?”

“I’m gonna be in the 9th grade.”

“Oh, nice meeting you. See ya’ around.”

Of course, this is how I remember our first exchange…..

To this day, FosterDad will probably tell you that he got called to play cards, but in reality, as a college junior, he was not interested in talking to a little girl that just finished junior high!

Stay tuned for his side of the story!

I’m Clever

Sway