Foster2Forever

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Did My Husband Have a Stroke?

His left eye was dilated. A strange bump protruded on his left arm. Whoa!

But when FosterDad said, “I feel really weird and the left side of my face feels numb.”

“Get dressed. We’re going to the hospital,” I quickly replied.

He hesitated and moaned.

“Get dressed. We’re going to the hospital,” I repeated, as I was putting shoes on Stinkpot.

He made excuses. “What if it’s nothing?”

“Get dressed. We’re going to the hospital,” I demanded.

He was being obstinate.

Even on the drive to the hospital, FosterDad asked: “Can’t we just stop by Walgreen’s and check my blood pressure first?”

“They will check your blood pressure at the hospital!” I growled.

He was admitted to the hospital and finally got into his room at 3:30 a.m. (I had taken the kids to the car to sleep.)

After 2 days in the hospital and numerous tests, the doctor finally gave his prognosis.

“No evidence of stroke or aneurysm.”

Thank you, sweet friends, for your thoughts and prayers. Your comments on Twitter and Facebook made us feel cared for during this scary ordeal!

Are all men this stubborn about going to the doctor???

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Disease Takes No Holidays! RSV Strikes Again!

A belated Merry Christmas to you!  We hope your holiday was merrier than ours.  It had to be…

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Our Lil Bit had RSV this weekend & didn't feel well. I entered this photo in the IHeartFaces holiday challenge.

For those of you who don’t follow Foster2Forever on Facebook or Twitter…

Our 2-year-old, Lil Bit, is in day care – a breeding ground for illness.  On Friday, I noticed that, although happy to be playing at home with his family, he was coughing quite a bit.  It wasn’t until late afternoon that I realized — he had a fever!  A low-grade fever of less than 100 degrees F (For my Aussie readers that’s about 37.7 C). But I knew I had to get him to a doctor FAST!

I glanced at the clock. It’s 5:02 p.m.

“Dog gone it!!!“

I called the doctor’s office anyway.

“Our office hours are 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. If this is an emergency, call 9-1-1.”

We were praying he didn’t get worse. Ibuprofen controlled the fever through most of the night; however, in the morning, he still had the fever and was coughing incessantly.

We were praying we wouldn’t be spending Christmas Eve in the Emergency Room.

I called our family medical clinic that has Saturday hours. Maybe, just maybe, they will be open on Christmas Eve.

“Good morning, how may I help you?”

Hallelujah! Our family physician was the doctor on duty this Christmas Eve morning.

Dr. Meyer diagnosed our Lil Bit with RSV, prescribed a steroid, prayed for him, and sent us HOME.  We are blessed!

What is RSV?

RSV stands for Respiratory Syncytial Virus.  In adults and older children, it’s basically a cold; however, in infants, it is a very serious virus that usually requires hospitalization.  The virus causes an overabundance of mucus, which adults and older children can cough up; however, for an infant, it can cause respiratory problems and low oxygen levels.  You can read more details about what is RSV and its symptoms at Christian Mama’s Guide.

Our History with RSV

We are not strangers to this virus. This is Lil Bit’s third bout with RSV:

  1. Our Lil Bit was only 5 months old when he was first hospitalized for RSV.  During this hospital stay, we were given the paperwork for Lil Bit’s removal from our home and placement with a distant relative.  My heart wept as I was saying my goodbyes for this little angel struggling to breathe.  This is when we made that life-changing decision to intervene in the familial placement and fight for custody.
  2. One year later in February of this year, at 17 months old, our Lil Bit was diagnosed with a common cold on a Friday, and then by Monday, was hospitalized for RSV that had developed into pneumonia.  (Lesson: Doctors can misdiagnose RSV with serious consequences)
  3. At 2-1/2 years old, our Lil Bit still struggled through RSV; however, we are thankful that his breathing wasn’t affected, and that we didn’t have to celebrate our Christmas in the hospital. Thank you, Lord, for your blessings!

And if Lil Bit contracting RSV isn’t bad enough – Now, Stinkpot has a horrible cough, runny nose and fever.  And I’m getting a course cough and tightness in my chest…OUCH!

Happy New Year, Everyone!

Have any of your little ones had RSV?

IHeartFaces.com

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Losing a Parent at a Young Age

My children never met their grandfather.  I lost my dad to cancer nearly 25 years ago…

In Fall 1986, while a student at Texas A&M University, I received a call at 1 o’clock in the morning that no person wants to receive, much less a young college student.  My divorced father was in ICU at the hospital back home.  I packed a quick bag and raced to the hospital.

I found my dad in ICU, disoriented, and strapped to his bed.  My dad had had a seizure and had become aggressive with the hospital staff. He knew nobody and when I walked into his hospital room, I was the first person he recognized.

A cat scan showed that my dad had 3 tumors in his brain — he was given 6 months to live.

Because my dad had recently lost his job of 26 years, he had no income, no health insurance, and not much hope.

I discovered that my unemployed father, too proud to ask for help, had been living in his home with no electricity, surviving on a diet of pecans he had gathered from a local park.

I made the difficult decision to leave college to take care of my dad. One of the easiest decisions I had to make.

Me with Daddy and my sisters in 1979. Which one am I?

We were blessed by many that helped us through this horrifying journey of brain cancer.  My heart overflows for all those that helped our family during this difficult time.

I am extremely grateful for the assistance of the American Cancer Society.  The ACS provided us with a wheelchair and hospital bed once my dad became bedridden. Thank you again!

I lost my dad to cancer in February1987.  He was 53. He didn’t see his 54th birthday.

Please watch the video below of how the American Cancer Society is helping folks have more birthdays.

Who have you lost to cancer?

 
This post is sponsored by American Cancer Society.

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Another Investigation

For those of you that don’t follow Foster2Forever on Facebook or Twitter, our family had another traumatic event this weekend concerning our Lil Bit.

Our Lil Bit is 2 years old now, and he is a climber. We have removed the coffee table and end table from our living room for this reason. He is even using his potty chair–as a step stool.  We are constantly getting on to him.  However, we need to grow eyes on the backs of our heads…

On Saturday evening, while our backs were turned, Lil Bit climbed onto a dining room chair and fell onto the tile floor. Onto his previously fractured elbow. Snap!

The Saturday night at the hospital crowd caused us to have a L-O-N-G wait. It must have been “Bring Your Kid to the ER for a Runny Nose” Day at the hospital. (The doctor shared this with me.)  The x-ray showed a much worse fracture than the first – one that would require surgery – that night! At another hospital.

At 11 p.m. on Saturday night, our Lil Bit had his first, hopefully last, ride in an ambulance as he was transferred to Scott and White in Temple.

ambulance-child-seat

Lil Bit had 5 orthopedic specialists working on fixing his little arm. The doctors were concerned about nerve damage that could affect his ability to grasp. After numerous x-rays and consultations, we finally got into a hospital room at 5 a.m. with surgery scheduled for 8 a.m.

Time for a quick power nap!

Did I mention that our other son, JD, was with us? Awake the entire night!  However, he had slept 6 hours before we took him to Temple.

We awoke at 7 a.m. when Lil Bit was wheeled down to the operating room for the 8 a.m. surgery. The surgery lasted 45 minutes plus the surgeons were able to correct the fracture from last time.

Lil Bit slept most of Sunday so he wasn’t discharged from the hospital until last night.  He slept well last night and is playing and laughing this morning.

We’ve reported the injury and now just waiting for the next investigation into our foster home….

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10 Stress Management Tips for Parents

Are you a stressed-out parent?

Most parents would declare a resounding, “YES“! Add to that the stress of parenting foster children that have suffered through neglect and other abuse. Haunted by their traumas, foster children can act out with behaviors difficult for us, as parents, to understand or manage. The resulting stress can be overwhelming sometimes.

Secondary Traumatic Stress (STS) is defined as the “stress resulting from helping or wanting to help a traumatized or suffering person.” STS is commonly referred to as Compassion Fatigue.

stress-management-techniques-tipsFoster parents are especially at risk for developing STS due to:

  • Having empathy for foster children; and
  • Not having enough recovery time.

As a foster parent, you might be suffering from STS if:

  • Acting and/or feeling in ways that are not normal for you;
  • Feelings of anger, sadness, depression, or anxiety that last longer than usual;
  • Having nightmares similar to the type of trauma that your foster children have experienced;
  • Avoiding places or people out of fear for your foster children.

The signs of stress can be physical, mental, or behavioral.  These may include:

  • Tight muscles
  • Feeling anxious, forgetful, sad, confused, angry
  • Lack of caring for others
  • Mood swings
  • Laziness
  • Irritability
  • Over or under eating

There are a number of ways that you can combat stress in your life.

  1. Exercise. Last year, I started the Couch Potato to 5K (c25k) program and now try to run/walk for at least 30 minutes 2-3 times a week.  (I jog 2 minutes, then walk 1 minute and have gone as far as 8 miles using this method. I DON’T run 30 minutes straight.)  I have completed a number of 5ks and am training for a half-marathon in November using the Galloway walk/run program.  I can feel my self-esteem improving with every milestone. Do you have any exercise goals?
  2. Eat Properly. I do not eat as well as I should, but have been more self-conscious of the foods I eat. I have a chef salad for lunch most days and have added more olive oil to my diet.  I begin the Weight Watchers Points Plus program in 2 weeks!
  3. Journaling. Having this website allows me the opportunity to write out my frustrations of being a foster parent. Do you blog or journal?
  4. Join a Support Group. The wonderful readers that comment here on foster2forever are my support group. Thank you!!! In the next few weeks, I will be adding a community to the website so that we can chat and support one another more. So excited! Do you have a support group?
  5. Ask for Respite Care. A few weeks ago, FosterDad and I took respite care and enjoyed our time away from the kids to reconnect and just relax and focus on the 2 of us.  Sadly, we do not regularly schedule time together and I believe we need time away again! Scheduling weekly date nights is the next goal!
  6. Family Fun. When we do fun things with the kids that allow them to be kids, we ALL feel better.  We need to schedule this more often! Last night, Stinkpot enjoyed playing baseball with FosterDad in the 102 heat. Maybe a trip to the beach this weekend?
  7. Massage. I get tension headaches when I’m stressed and can feel it in my shoulders and neck.  When pain killers just aren’t doing the trick, I take a quick trip to the mall to the massage kiosk and pay the little Asian man $12 to massage my neck and shoulders. Works every time!
  8. Yoga and/or Meditation. I haven’t practiced yoga in a few years, but the stretching and meditation through counting helped me relax tremendously. Also, this incredible meditation audio CD by Susie Mantell is the BEST!!! She gets you so relaxed, then asks you to think about what’s bothering you. Each time, I’m so relaxed that I can’t think of anything!  I’ve only been able to stay awake through the entire CD once.
  9. Music. Add music to your life. Nothing can change my mood quicker than music. My kids love music too. Singing to my kids also helps them during tense times.
  10. Acceptance. Learn to accept your children. Our Stinkpot is an extremely strong-willed child. As I was reading Setting Limits with your Strong-Willed Child, Dr. MacKenzie pointed out that it is the nature of the strong-willed child to test, test, test everything. Once I realized that it was Stinkpot’s job to test me, I was able to better accept it, anticipate it and cope with it.

Are you stressed? Take this test.

How do manage your stress?

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Our Foster Child Still Lags Behind

Early Childhood InterventionOur foster child, Lil Bit, turned 2 years old last week!  He has grown so much from that 3-month-old infant brought to us nearly 2 years ago. However, he still seems to be a bit behind other toddlers his age.

Last weekend, we attended a birthday party for his class at day care. All the children in his class have birthdays within a month.  As I was watching the other children at the party, I realized just how far behind the others he actually is.

Although Lil Bit is receiving speech therapy through Early Childhood Intervention, other children his age:

  • Have a much larger vocabulary,
  • Talking in short sentences, and
  • Are in the advanced stages of potty-training.

Also, during the party, he would not let me put him down. (my back is killing me this week from carrying around the 25-pound little tike for 3 hours)

I realize that each child is an individual and develops an their own individual rate.  However, it saddens me for him.

Will he struggle to keep up his entire life or will he eventually catch up?

I realize that God has a perfect plan for our Lil Bit, but I do struggle during the mean time…

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~Jeremiah 29:11

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Enrich Your Marriage – Respite Care is for You!

Marriage is tough! Marriage with kids is tougher! Marriage with foster kids is possibly the toughest all-around!

Having a revolving-door family, as sometimes couples have in foster care, can leave foster parents so busy and exhausted that sometimes respite care can become necessary for foster parents to be their best.

Respite care is a temporary resting period or break for caregivers.  In Texas, respite child-care is defined as care lasting longer than 72 hours.  (Therefore, shorter periods of care are not regulated as respite child-care.)

Last weekend, FosterDad and I took a long-overdue couples’ getaway! My sister provided the respite care of our 2-year-old foster boy, Lil Bit, and our 4-year-old, Stinkpot for the long weekend.

It was FosterDad’s birthday, so I surprised him with a trip to East Texas where he attended college for 2 years. Online, I found a bed and breakfast in the small town of Jefferson for $150 for 2 nights.

We stayed at the lovely Steamboat Inn.

View of hallway looking out.

We stayed in the masculine Mens Room

When I chose Jefferson, I had no idea the incredible history and all this small Texas town of only 2,000 folks has to offer!  Jefferson is in northeast Texas and was the riverport to the Texas frontier in the 1800’s.  You wouldn’t think that now; however, a huge log jam on the Red River connected the town to the Mississippi River and the ports of St. Louis and New Orleans, making the town an important Texas port abuzz with steamboats. The log jam was blown up in 1873 and riverboat traffic all but ceased. What is left is a quaint, little small town that is now the Bed & Breakfast Capital of Texas with over 30 active bed & breakfast inns.

We strolled along the brick roads, enjoying all the historic markers and homes, visiting the antique shops and the Jefferson General Store.  We had a romantic dinner at the charming Stillwater Inn and even took a romantic moonlight ride in a surrey with fringe on top!!!

Spending the weekend focusing on us as a couple will help us be better parents. Just in time, since school starts Monday!

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Our Foster Baby Broke His Arm!!!

foster-child-injury

Foster child playing with a cast

If you follow Foster2Forever on Facebook or Twitter, you know that our Independence Day began with our 22-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit, falling off the sofa.

It was a short fall. A freak accident. However, when he stood up, Lil Bit was holding his right wrist.  FosterDad is a former P.E. teacher and knew something wasn’t right by the way he was holding it.

We were visiting family in East Texas, so we took a trip to the local hospital emergency room.  The x-ray confirmed our fear.  Our baby boy had a fractured elbow.  It was not his wrist, as we first suspected.

However, due to the location of the fracture, the E.R. physician was concerned about it affecting Lil Bit’s arm movement.  She requested that we take Lil Bit to an orthopedic specialist in the next few days. Her concern was that he might have to undergo surgery and physical therapy to prevent problems with mobility.

We arrived home late Monday night and Tuesday morning began all the follow-up to:

  • Report the incident to our foster home case worker, Lil Bit’s caseworker, and a quick FYI to our attorney;
  • Complete a report for “Serious Injury of a Foster Child” to turn into both caseworkers;
  • Call the Medicaid insurance provider (StarHealth) to get a list of orthopedic specialists;
  • Call the list of specialists and learn than none take Medicaid;
  • Make an appointment for out-of-town orthopedic specialist;
  • Visit Primary Care Physician for a referral to the orthopedic specialist;
  • Visit orthopedic specialist!!!

The visit to the orthopedic doctor went better than expected! Another x-ray showed that the bone is healing well and surgery will not be necessary.  A hard cast was put on Lil Bit’s arm, and he returns in 3 weeks to see how it is healing.

For Lil Bit, the broken arm has been more of a nuisance to him than anything. He gets frustrated that now he can’t climb on the couch or sleep tucked on his tummy.  He is eating well with his left hand.  He now has to drink out of a sippy cup with handles.

However, for us, as foster parents, we are not out of the woods. As we are in the final stages of Lil Bit’s adoption, the State is now conducting their followup investigation into the injury.

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Singing The Star-Spangled Banner

Today is Independence Day or more commonly referred to as the 4th of July. Today, we Americans celebrate the signing of the Declaration of Independence from England on July 4, 1776.

On this day of patriotism, we show our pride in our country, wearing red, white and blue, waving our U.S. flag, and singing our national anthem, “The Star-Spangled Banner.”star-spangled-banner-national-anthem


I cannot for the life of me carry a tune in a bucket and “The Star-Spangled Banner” is impossible for me to sing without making myself and those around me cringe. Because the song varies by an octave and a half, many struggle to sing it, and I have even heard talk of changing our national anthem to a song that’s easier to sing.

But “The Star-Spangled Banner” isn’t just a song to sing at the beginning of a big game. “The Star-Spangled Banner” represents our struggle for freedom.

Our national anthem was written by Francis Scott Key during the War of 1812 against the British.  He wrote the poem “The Defence of Fort McHenry” after the victory defending Baltimore from British invasion.

Just 30 years before, Americans had struggled and fought Britain for independence, and were now fighting Britain again! America’s freedom and independence were at stake!

Americans were euphoric over winning a “second war of independence from England.”  Patriotism and pride were at an all-time high.

The poem became immediately popular and was sung as a patriotic celebration.  The song later became titled “The Star-Spangled Banner” and was sung throughout the United States to celebrate our victory over British rule.

Our national anthem is significant in that it represents our struggle for freedom.

As I struggle to hit those high notes of the rockets red glare, I swell with pride and am overcome with emotion for all those that have fought for my freedom.

Tonight as you celebrate Independence Day, remember that the United States won freedom once, but has defended it numerous times.
Foster2Forever

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