Foster2Forever

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What Does the SuperBowl Have to Do With Adoption?

Usually the SuperBowl has absolutely nothing to do with adoption – But this Sunday, SuperBowl XLVI can be different.

Are you having a SuperBowl party or watching the big game with friends?

Tony Dungy, the SuperBowl-winning former coach of the Indianapolis Colts and adoptive father, is taking the orphan crisis to American families through a video download kit. This free kit is available to everyone to be shown at game watching parties anywhere.

Dungy and his wife, Lauren, who have adopted 4 children, and are sharing their personal thoughts about adoption and the current orphan crisis through the Adoption Journey Project.

Their hope is to encourage more Christians to consider adoption.

“The big win on Super Sunday would be to raise awareness about the millions of children who need a family. I would love to see thousands of local community groups and circles of friends gathering together to stop and consider how they can help.”

What can you do to promote adoption this SuperBowl Sunday?

If you are hosting or attending a SuperBowl party, you can promote adoption by:

  • Download the free video kit to show at the party

If you have a blog, you can promote adoption by:

  • Write to your readers, encouraging your readers to promote adoption this SuperBowl Sunday

If you have a Facebook account, you can promote adoption by:

If you are on Twitter, you can promote adoption by:

  • Tweet this post and use hashtag #DungyForAdoption

If you are part of a church family, you can promote adoption by:

 Will you share this post now???

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Are Your Children Eligible for Adoption Assistance Benefits?

I just registered for a free webinar to learn more on adoption assistance benefits.  The North American Council on Adoptable Children (NACAC) will host the free hour-long webinar tomorrow, Tuesday, January 31st at 2:30 p.m. (CST).

Adoption Assistance Benefits and Eligibility

This webinar will be presented by Josh Kroll and provide information about adoption assistance benefits, including which children are eligible and the benefits available. The session will be of use to prospective adopters as well as parents who are seeking to make a change in the child’s benefits due to changes in the child’s needs or family’s circumstances.

Click to register for Adoption Assistance Benefits and Eligibility.

Will you be able to attend this free webinar?

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This is How Inefficient our Government Really Is

Have you read this book written by a former foster child?


We were so excited to finally adopt our Lil Bit! Now, over two months later, we are still anxiously awaiting the arrival of his new birth certificate!

Yesterday, while glancing through the mail, I saw a plain white envelope from the state Health and Human Services! I excitedly opened the envelope to find…

Lil Bit’s Medicaid card!

Printed on the card in bold was his new name! Our family name! Lil Bit’s first “official” card with our family’s name!

After our excitement waned, I began going through the rest of the mail. To my surprise, was another envelope from the state Health and Human Services, identical to the first. Could it be his birth certificate?

My curious hands opened the second envelope to find…

another Medicaid card!

Not a duplicate card. Another Medicaid card printed with Lil Bit’s BIRTH name!

So now we have TWO Medicaid cards with both of Lil Bit’s names. (Same Medicaid number, of course)

For those of you whose adopted children receive Medicaid, is this what normally happens?

How much longer until we receive Lil Bit’s birth certificate?  Which name will be printed on it?

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Did My Husband Have a Stroke?

His left eye was dilated. A strange bump protruded on his left arm. Whoa!

But when FosterDad said, “I feel really weird and the left side of my face feels numb.”

“Get dressed. We’re going to the hospital,” I quickly replied.

He hesitated and moaned.

“Get dressed. We’re going to the hospital,” I repeated, as I was putting shoes on Stinkpot.

He made excuses. “What if it’s nothing?”

“Get dressed. We’re going to the hospital,” I demanded.

He was being obstinate.

Even on the drive to the hospital, FosterDad asked: “Can’t we just stop by Walgreen’s and check my blood pressure first?”

“They will check your blood pressure at the hospital!” I growled.

He was admitted to the hospital and finally got into his room at 3:30 a.m. (I had taken the kids to the car to sleep.)

After 2 days in the hospital and numerous tests, the doctor finally gave his prognosis.

“No evidence of stroke or aneurysm.”

Thank you, sweet friends, for your thoughts and prayers. Your comments on Twitter and Facebook made us feel cared for during this scary ordeal!

Are all men this stubborn about going to the doctor???

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What’s Your Story? Contributors Wanted

Isn’t it amazing how God sometimes just puts everything together? Without you even being aware. And then, BAM! – when realizing, “Oh, that’s what He was doing!”

I’ve begun compiling the story of our crazy adoption of Lil Bit. With all its twists and turns. (with tons of editing necessary)

We will be releasing our story as an e-book later this month – free to email subscribers. (Are you a subscriber?)

And would you believe it? Amazingly, a writing course just fell into place. The timing is impeccable!  With a Children’s Bible Study for the kids. Wow!

Our readers' #1 bestseller! Have you read this childrens' book on foster care?

This writing course has had several published authors speak.

Each speaker has their own unique gift of storytelling. But each speaker, at one point, has said:

“We all have a story. A story that can touch lives. Each story is unique. Each story should be heard.“

And as foster parents, our stories are unique. Our stories can touch lives because our lives as foster parents touch young lives, if just for a brief time.

 

What is your story?

We’d like to read it here!

I love the community of foster parents here online. It’s made me feel less alone in this unique situation of foster parenting.

Would you like to become a contributer at Foster2Forever so you can tell your story? 

We’re looking for bloggers/writers/advocates/individuals to tell their stories here just once a month.  Just submit the contact form and tell us a little bit about your story.

What is your story?

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The Color of Their Skin

My dad, born in the 1930’s, grew up during the most racially tense time in the South.  He witnessed the injustice, but still had his own prejudices.  In 1971, due to the physical locations that caused “natural segregation” of white & black neighborhood schools, the courts mandated that school districts in Texas must integrate schools regardless of location.

When my Daddy found out that his little girl was going to be bused across town “to go to school with a bunch of n*****s”, he initiated a “white flight” and quickly moved his family across the street to a white rural school.

I would not see a black person until I was in the seventh grade.

I never understood the prejudice I witnessed around me. I despise the N-word, even among African-Americans.

Today, we celebrate the short life of an incredible man that changed the course of history. His vision is still inspiring! His dream…

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

 Listen to his incredible speech in its entirety.

I live in the rural South, and it saddens me to still see prejudice around me.

My dream is that the “content of character” is the only thing that matters.

My dream is that judgments will not be made based on simply the color pigment of skin.

My dream is that my two little children will one day live in a nation where interracial families are the norm.

My dream is for our nation to become color-blind!

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When Did CPS Change Their Mind About Us?

Have you seen this inspiring movie about a former foster child? Watch the trailer!

At the end of this court hearing in March 2010, the State, CASA, and ad litem attorney were ambivalent.

Should our 7-month-old foster child, Lil Bit, stay with us or should he go live with his great-aunt?

None of them expressed concern either way !

UNTIL…

That one phone call to State CPS headquarters.

CPS Policy: A child should always be placed with family first.

Then, quick as a flash, the State, CASA/GAL, and ad litem attorney ALL adamantly opposed Lil Bit staying with us.

Suddenly, we were being accused of keeping our foster child from his family.  Worse than that, we were keeping Lil Bit from his Mexican culture.

For 2 months until our next court hearing in May.

We met with the CASA before court. I wasn’t optimistic.

Then this miracle happened. A strange day in court for our foster baby.

What changed?

  • Birth mom moved back in with her abusive grandmother (her third move in 5 months)
  • Caseworker AB turned in her resignation

Is this what changed the mind of CPS toward us?

In June, we attended a meeting to discuss permanency for our foster baby when the State told birth mom that they would be terminating her rights (no matter what she did). The birth mom (and her mother) told the State that they did not want Lil Bit to go live with his great-aunt.

Is this what changed the mind of CPS toward us?

The fact is we don’t know what changed.

In August, we met with CPS and CASA in our home.  They told us to work on conditions for an open adoption. Lil Bit would stay with us.

LIL BIT WOULD BE OUR SON!

The fact is we don’t care what changed the mind of CPS toward us.  We care that our Lil Bit would be safe. With us. Forever!

 

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Why We Fought For Our Foster Child

Our foster child, Lil Bit, has a birth family that loves him.  Lil Bit wasn’t abused or neglected.  He had a family member that expressed interest in adopting him that had an approved home study.

Have you seen the movie Losing Isaiah? Click image to view the movie trailer.

So, why in the world would you steal this foster baby from his family?

We have been accused of this.  However, as his foster parents, we felt it was our duty to keep this baby SAFE.

Even if it was unpopular.

Even if the State was against us.

Even if the Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA or GAL) was against us.

Even if the foster child’s Ad Litem Attorney was against us.

Even if it cost us thousands of dollars, which it did. (Thank goodness for the adoption tax credit!)

So , why did you go through all the hassle and expense to keep this foster baby?

Again, to keep this baby SAFE.

To back up, Lil Bit was taken away from his birth mother when she got into a physical altercation with her grandmother.

This violence occurred while birth mom was holding 3-month-old Lil Bit in her arms.

The grandmother (Lil Bit’s great-grandmother) threw the first punch at birth mom while she was holding the baby!

If that’s not bad enough, the grandmother pushed birth mom onto the bed and tried to physically take Lil Bit out of her arms!

They were playing tug-of-war with an infant!

After removal, Lil Bit’s great-aunt told the State that she would be willing to adopt him and went through the process of a home study, which their home passed.



So, if the foster baby could go live with a relative – why would you steal this baby from his family?

Simple answer:  There was one sentence in the great-aunt’s home study.  That one sentence made us want to fight to keep this baby and spend whatever it took:

The grandmother (that struck the birth mom) babysits the great-aunt’s kids after school and during the summer!

But the home study didn’t consider this. It should have!

Other factors in our decision included:

  • Prior investigation into the home;
  • Birthmother wanted her child to be raised in OUR family, instead of her own. (The largest reason)

Was the home study sufficient? Would you have fought the foster care system to keep this foster child?

UPDATE: In 2013, a horrific crime occurred against children in this birthfamily. We feel completely at peace with our decision to fight the system and keep our LilBit from becoming another victim of an unspeakable crime!

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Titties!

“Titties!“, she shrieked as she grabbed my breasts and squeezed.

I was shocked. I was taken aback. I was dumbfounded.
I mean, she grabbed me without provocation.

I wasn’t at a Mardi Gras parade. I wasn’t at a wild drunken concert.

I was in my home.

She was my foster daughter, Blondie.  And she was only 2 years old.

Best sports bra ever!!! And made in the USA!

As foster parents, we bring children from different backgrounds into our home.  Sometimes the environment from where they come is lacking what is referred to as “social norms.”  Their normal is not healthy or appropriate.

While a foster child is in our home, it is our responsibility to teach and instill acceptable behavior and social norms that these children may not know.  This may be the only time in their lives that they are exposed to “normal.”

What have you had to teach your foster children about appropriate behavior and social norms?

Lying? Stealing? Cussing?

I’m Clever

Sway