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12:07 pm by Penelope

MISCELLANY MONDAY

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase lettersTHAT SURGERY
Thanks for all the well wishes for our 16-month-old who is recovering from THAT surgery. The second day when the local anesthesia wore off was the worst pain for him. After that, he has been in good spirits and even playing outside. He can’t bathe for a few more days and he does NOT like to shower.

STINKPOT’S SURGERY
We opted to NOT have tubes put in Stinkpot’s ears this week. It was just too difficult for FosterDad with 2 little ones at home by himself. (I came home Wednesday after work and FosterDad was still in his pajamas and quite flustered)

STINKPOT’S BEHAVIOR
Our 3-year-old’s behavior is still a challenge! He has now been kicked out 2 day cares for aggression.Yesterday, he had a knife from the silverware drawer and was threatening to cut us. “I cut you!”

MY DECISION
I have made the decision to stay home with him. I will work part-time during Mother’s Day Out and use family leave. (I haven’t told my boss yet) The child needs a LOT of TLC and individual attention, and he just won’t get that at a day care from 2 workers with 23 other kids. The Mother’s Day Out has just a few kids for the short time he is there.

2011 GOALS/RESOLUTIONS
I had a huge list of goals to share with you, for health, kids, marriage, faith, blogging but given the issues with Stinkpot, I have thrown those all out.

2011 will be defined for me by one word! Everything will revolve around the word: TRANSFORMATION.

MY PRAYER
LORD,
TRANSFORM me;
TRANSFORM my child;
TRANSFORM our family.

NEXT STEPS
I have begun a 365-day Transformation Project.

Praying, focusing on HIM,
Praying, focusing on Stinkpot,
Praying, researching child behavior,
Praying, trying a new tip or technique every day,
Praying, documenting Stinkpot’s actions and reactions,
Praying….

Will you pray for us during this journey?  Can you recommend any books, websites, etc.?

12:50 pm by Penelope

Running with Santa

Our 3-year-old, Stinkpot, is the most strong-willed, stubborn, hard-headed, determined little rascal that you can ever meet. He has now gotten kicked out of his SECOND, yes, second day care in a month!  We are beating our heads up against the wall trying to figure out what in the tar nation to do with our little Damien!

However, I am in awe of him!
I’m beaming with pride due to these very characteristics that are causing us so much heart burn.

A few weeks ago, I ran in a 5K Jingle Run (I finished 5th in my old lady division) and entered him in the kids’ 1K Run with Santa.

Here is our Stinkpot ready for the start of the race!
He was so focused on running the race, that he ran smack dab into the photographer!
But he picked himself right up and began running again.
For the entire 1K, he ran until he was tired, then after catching his breath, would begin running again.
He ran the race ALL BY HIMSELF! AT 3 YEARS OLD!
Here he raced Santa (and won)!
What an amazing finish!
This kid will be the death of me!
But wow! With that determination, isn’t he going to be a great attorney someday?

Today I linked up with 5 MINUTES FOR MOM! Add your Wordless Wednesday post below!
Have a very merry Christmas!

1:56 pm by admin

MY SON LOSIN’ IT!

My 3-year-old JD, is just that – a mess!!!

For 2 days now, we have received a page full of bad behavior listed in detail – hitting, biting, and scratching the teacher, punching and kicking his friends, and other aggressive behavior.

We took him off Singulair for his asthma on October 2nd due to the labeling warnings of mood swings and aggression.  He did better at first, but now his behavior is getting worse and worse. He even came at Daddy with his mouth open to BITE him!

Today, I am staying at home with him to:
(a) give the daycare a break;
(b) give JD a break;
(c) make an appointment with a doctor;
(d) possibly look for a more structured daycare.
___________________________________________________________________________
Have a blessed week!

12:55 pm by Penelope

MISCELLANY MONDAY – Orphan, Mood Swings and Halloween

OUR LIL ORPHAN
Last Tuesday was a court hearing for Lil Bit, our 13-month-old foster boy. I was out-of-town and so my hubby was there when the judge terminated the birthmother’s parental rights.  Our foster baby is now officially half an orphan!  I say that since the birthfather has not been located. The State is working with the Mexican consulate to make a good faith effort to locate him. Until then…

MOOD SWINGS
If you follow my blog, our 3-year-old Stinkpot’s strong will has been an incredible challenge for us. Last week was horrible!  Again! Temper tantrums, mood swings, and general meanness has made us worry about him.  Stinkpot’s birthfamily has a history of mental instability, and we have been seriously discussing taking him to a child psychologist for counseling, not just for him, but for us, in order to deal with him.

However, on Friday, when I went for my annual physical exam, my doctor asked me if I was having any depression or mood swings from Singulair.  (“I’m too busy with kids to even think of being depressed” was my reply.)

Since Stinkpot has been taking Singular for his asthma for nearly 2 years now – maybe Singulair could be his issue???

I have a call into his doctor to discuss it!!!

HALLOWEEN
Can you believe it’s less than 4 weeks away?  Have you already begun the quest for the perfect Halloween costume for you and your kids?  Isn’t this just the cutest costume for less than $10?

Have a great week!

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters

12:12 pm by admin

My Son and People of Walmart – Funny Story

I am so proud of my son, JD! No, really, I am. But sometimes I just want to crawl into a hole. Last night, again, JD said what was on his mind, just a little too loud.

To make a short story long, JD has had a rough week.
Tuesday morning was H-E-double L!
He was NOT happy about waking up – that is an understatement! He woke up as a possessed, angry devil child. He was totally out of control. Instead of losing it with him, I chose to leave him naked on the bathroom floor, go lock myself in the baby’s room and get him dressed before dealing any more with Damien JD.

Damien JD followed me and was outside the baby’s room, screaming and banging on the door – the whole while, I’m saying, “I want nice JD, not mean JD!”

I guess it worked because as soon as I opened the bedroom door to come out, nice JD jumped up, smiled at me and said, “Hi, Mommy!”

JD has not been much better at day care this week. (He went to the “principal’s office” twice – he’s only 3 years old!) So for an incentive, Wednesday night before bed and all Thursday morning, I told him that if he’s a good boy, he can go to “Mall-Mart” and get candy.

“If you wake up from nap before your friends, are you going to kick them to get up or are you going to lay on your mat and be a good boy so you can go to Wal-Mart?”

“I be a good boy, Mommy.”

And would you believe that it worked! His teachers were “Hallelujah!” They were amazed that he remained laying on his cot, while other classmates were telling him to get up. Hallelujah for Wal-Mart!

As we were leaving Wal-Mart, a heavy-set woman rode by wearing a tube top.
“MOMMY, HER HAS NO SHIRT ON!”

This is NOT what he saw, but go to www.peopleofwalmart.com for more funny pics.

Tonight, if JD is a good boy, he’s going to a football game with Daddy!  Sure hope it works!

Have a GREAT weekend!

9:55 am by admin

Stinkiness, Boot Camp, and Friday Night Lights – and some Adoption News

I HEART OUR STRONG-WILLED PRESCHOOLER, STINKPOT…

Stinkpot concentrates on riding his tricycle – see that tongue!

  • Strong-willed is an understatement!
  • At 3 years old, thinks using the potty is for sissies
  • Hopeless fan of Houston Astros and Texas Rangers
  • Addicted to baseball, football, basketball, softball, tennis, soccer, hockey, wrestling, etc.
  • Loves attending church
  • Way too charming for his own good and juggles too many girlfriends to count
  • Likes to act silly
  • Independent – demanding to do things by himself
  • Future first round draft pick for the Houston Astros in 2025

He is such a blessing in our lives, but, wow!, what a challenge!

I HEART THE EVENTUAL ADOPTION OF OUR FOSTER BABY…
He is OURS!!! Not officially, of course, but we are now, over the largest hurdle of adopting our 1-year-old baby boy, Lil Bit — the birthmother has voluntarily signed relinquishment papers to terminate her parental rights!

A few weeks ago, we met with CASA (Court-Appointed Special Advocate) and Lil Bit’s case worker to discuss continued contact with the birthfamily (mainly the great-aunt from my understanding). We just had to decide how much contact we would allow.

Last Monday, I received a desperate call from the case worker to meet with our attorney to draw up our agreement with the birthfamily. The next morning, I met with our attorney and discussed terms of the agreement.  He had some really great suggestions, and we decided the normal exchange of photos and updates would cause the least confusion to Lil Bit as he got older.

However, we kept coming back to the question: With whom would the contact be?
The birthmother – whose termination order the agreement would attach???
Or the great-aunt – who CASA is heavily promoting so that Lil Bit can keep his Mexican culture???

After discussing this in our meeting, we had no clue! Over $300 in attorney fees!

A week later, we still have no answer and we’re waiting on either the case worker or birthmother’s attorney to discuss with our attorney….


I DON’T HEART BEING BOOT CAMP DRILL SARGEANT….

Stinkpot was really a challenge last week! Hitting his teachers, his classmates, and toys.  I had to perform some boot camp strategy that is totally “not me”.  At one point, he had struck my last nerve and was being so stubborn while I was trying to care for a sick baby. I finally had enough that I yelled raised my voice to him to do it, NOWWWW!!!! Oy!  — so NOT ME!
(He has since been mocking me by telling Daddy that he wants something NOWWWW!!! – with his signature smirk, no less) But he did straighten up after that…

I HEART FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS…
Additionally, I used a football game as motivation to get him in line. It worked (mostly)!

For being a mostly good boy this week, we went to a high school football game together. 

Giving Stinkpot a kiss under the Friday night lights

We wanted to see my niece perform on the dance team for the first time; however, she performed to the other side…

My beautiful niece before her performance

Maybe next time…

I HEART FACES…
Here’s a photo that my father-in-law took of my hubby as he was learning to ride a tricycle.
I love the story this picture tells! You can see my mother-in-law, always the enthusiastic cheerleader, is so proud of her little boy as he concentrates so intently on completing this milestone.
(I am amazed at how much our adopted Stinkpot resembles his dad!)

Steve learns to ride a tricycle – circa 1961
    I entered this photo in this week’s I Heart Faces “Photojournalism” challenge –
    click the badge for more photos!

     

    Come back Wednesday to hear the next chapter of our love story…
    And on Friday to link up your funny stories with 2 Funny Friday!

    Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters

    Mckmama- Not Me Monday

    Mommy and Me Monday at Really, Are You Serious?

    2:39 pm by Penelope

    ABOUT US

    Look it’s a blog hop!

    Howdy, y’all!

    I’m a mid-40s first time mom! Yep! A late bloomer at its best! You see, I was a single girl in the big city of Houston, Texas all through the 1990s +. Then in 2004, my life changed drastically forever through a whirlwind romance and marriage!

    I moved from a city of 4 million to a town of 1,400 and began trying to conceive at age 40. In less than 2 years, our fertility doctor told us that all my eggs were gone and should realistically look at adopting a child.

    We began the process to become foster parents in Jan 2007 hoping to adopt through our state’s foster care program. After a move back to our hometown and struggles with state licensing staff, we officially became foster parents to Stinkpot on March 4, 2008 and adopted him over a year later on my husband’s 50th birthday in August 2009.

    Through this journey, we have been foster parents to 4 girls (age 2-12), having to say goodbye and wonder how they are doing.

    We currently have a 1-year-old baby boy (Lil Bit) that we foster and would like to eventually adopt: however, his case is a MESS!

    On this blog, I share our struggles and joys of being foster parents and eventually becoming a forever family!

    I hope you enjoy our adventures in foster care! Hold on because it can be a crazy ride!

    9:07 am by admin

    FOSTER BABY AND OTHER MISCELLANEOUS THINGS

    The hardest part of adopting through foster care is the uncertainty of a final adoption.

    Our 10-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit, was placed in our home after a violent dispute between the mother and her grandmother, last December. The mother had had her parental rights terminated with her 5 previous children which were not placed with relatives. We were told the baby would be ours for adoption. (oops!)

    This case has been a complete mess and $6,000 in legal fees later – Lil Bit is still with us until a custody hearing in late September. You can read the history HERE.

    We had a permanency meeting last month to discuss the forever plan for Lil Bit and his mother’s progress for reunification.  When a child is first removed, the parents and the State draw up a permanency plan checklist that lays out all the individual steps a parent must do in order to be reunified with their child(ren). Items include things as routine (for the normal responsible population) as getting (and keeping) a job or income and finding a place to live independently.  Other things include drug testing, anger management classes, parenting classes, first aid training, and individual or group counseling.

    In the meeting, Lil Bit’s mentally-challenged birth mother showed that she is working hard to complete everything on the permanency plan checklist to get back custody of her baby. She had completed all the training and is now receiving SSI and will be moving into government housing soon. She has purchased a baby bed and high chair for Lil Bit, fully anticipating his return.

    This is the saddest part! After all of her hard work, in this meeting, a State worker looked the birth mother in the face and told her,

    “We do not believe that you have the mental capacity to care for the baby by yourself.
    The current plan for permanency for this baby is adoption.“

    I felt so horrible for this mother. She really has no clue and neither does her mother.

    The State’s current plan is adoption by the baby’s great-aunt.  The birth mother and grandmother oppose this adoption and stated in the meeting that they want us to adopt Lil Bit instead of their family.  They stated that the uncle is a weekend disc jockey and there is a lot of alcohol consumption in the home. “They like to party.” The State did acknowledge that they did need to “check out some things” in regard to their home study.

    The CASA stated that another court hearing will occur before our original September 22nd custody hearing. We believe that the State will be seeking to terminate the birth mother’s parental rights before September, but we do not know.

    The good news is that Lil Bit will stay with us in the meantime. More time to be a true blessing in our home!

    *********************************************************************************

    I just heard that everything is fine for the licensing of our home for the 18-year-old with Asperger’s Syndrome.  We still haven’t heard from his case worker and are assuming they found a home for him.

    *********************************************************************************

    Yesterday, our 3-year-old Stinkpot, was very upset with us for not taking him with us to “Big Church” after Sunday School.  So last night, we took him with us to Sunday evening worship since there wasn’t any childcare that night.  He did GREAT, sitting up in his chair, paying close attention – UNTIL – the singing stopped.  Then continually, loudly whining politely asking to go to “his class”.

    So he and I went outside to the church playground, split a Wendy’s Apple Pecan Chicken Salad, and enjoyed a special “Mommy and Me” picnic!

    Mommy and Me Monday at Really, Are You Serious? Hosted by Krystyn
    *********************************************************************************

    Remember to enter this month’s GIVEAWAY! Foster2Forever is giving away an autographed copy of Spoken from the Heart signed by Laura Bush, the former First Lady herself!

    Remember to enter a comment, if you are already a follower or subscriber!

    Have a great week!

    9:33 pm by admin

    MY BABY BOY IS 3 YEARS OLD TODAY!!!

    Posted by Picasa

    It’s hard to believe that my Stinkpot is 3 years old today!

    I honestly can’t remember anything of July 1, 2007. It was a Sunday. I’m sure we were at church. I’m sure my stepson was at his mom’s for the month of July. So it was just me and my wonderful husband alone together. But I don’t remember what we did that day or where we ate lunch.

    Thinking of my little boy’s birthday in this way saddens me. On his birthday each year, I can’t share with him even one detail of his birth.

    You see, we adopted Stinkpot through our state’s foster care program.

    What I can share with him through the years, is how much he changed my life on March 4, 2008 – the day of his arrival. Our plans on that election day changed from attending our voting precinct convention to “how are we ever going to get this baby to sleep”! You can read more about his arrival on THIS POST.

    The Gift of Life
    I didn’t give you the gift of life,
    But in my heart I know.

    The love I feel is deep and real,

    As if it had been so.

    For us to have each other
    Is like a dream come true!

    No, I didn’t give you
    The gift of life,
    Life gave me the gift of you.

    — Unknown

     
    Y’all have a blessed week!
    ~penny
     
     p.s. Due to technological problems, I will not be able to announce the giveaway until this weekend.
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