Foster2Forever

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Help! Is This Oppositional Defiant Disorder?

Our strong-willed preschool son is a defiant one! This strong-willed Kindergartener has been so demanding and obstinate lately. And we are exhausted!

We recently attended a foster care training on mental health issues, such as depression, PTSD, ADHD.  And when the speaker showed the slide on Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), our mouths fell open…

What is Oppositional Defiant Disorder?

ODD is a pattern of negative, hostile and defiant acts that lasts more than 6 months. (How about 2+ years?)

Symptoms of Oppositional Defiant Disorder

  • Loses temper easily
  • Argues with adults
  • Refuses to obey rules
  • Often annoys people on purpose
  • Blames others for his mistakes
  • Often touchy or easily annoyed with others
  • Often angry and resentful
  • Often spiteful

A child must exhibit at least 4 or more of the following symptoms to be diagnosed with ODD.

My son exhibits every single symptom of ODD!!!

Now don’t get me wrong – I am not diagnosing my son  with ODD! To the contrary, my prayer is that he does not have ODD.

Because…get this: He has had no tantrums at school this entire year! My observations are that he only exhibits these symptoms of ODD with his parents!  Since he only exhibits these symptoms with his primary caregivers, it could mean that he is expressing his needs due to his past trauma only when he feels safe – with his parents.

Read more about the overlapping symptoms of other disorders.

photo credit: demandaj via photopin cc

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When Your Child Stops Breathing

Gasping, in the middle of the night, our Stinkpot would suddenly awaken and sit up in bed. Could my child have sleep apnea? He’s always gone back to sleep easily, but it was always startling to me how he would just wake up.

And our child’s snoring rivaled that of my husband’s!

snoring-sleep-apnea-children

Our poor baby boy, born premature, to a smoker, has always had severe breathing issues. Numerous hospitalizations and bouts with pneumonia, allergies, asthma, and even TWO, nearly three, myringotomies (tubes in the ears).

While consulting for his second myingotomy, the ear, nose, & throat doctor (ENT), asked us about his breathing. He told us that Stinkpot had enlarged tonsils which could cause Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA). He said that our toddler’s tonsils should be removed to help with his breathing — but only after he is 4-years-old or old enough to follow doctor’s orders.

Knowing our strong-willed hyperactive toddler, we knew it would be a few years before he was ready, especially given his propensity for rages! However, maybe some of his rages could be caused by his sleep apnea???

Signs/Symptoms of Sleep Apnea in Children (1)

  • Snoring
  • Pauses in breathing
  • Mouth breathing during sleep
  • Night sweats

Our Stinkpot had all of these symptoms, including waking up a sweaty mess every morning. Other signs of sleep apnea in children could include daytime cognitive and behavior problems, including problems paying attention, aggressive behavior and hyperactivity. (2) Hmmm!

Our Stinkpot was scheduled for his tonsillectomy after Christmas. We were extremely worried about fasting and if low blood sugar would cause him to go into a rage. However, a 6:15 a.m. check-in time might have helped, since he was still mostly asleep.

The surgery staff were fabulous! To prepare him for his surgery, they told him that they were going to put a special Super Hero mask on him, and he would have to smell some monkey perfume. “It doesn’t smell good since monkeys are stinky!” They told him that when he took a nap that they were going to put a straw in his arm!

The adenotonsillectomy (removal of both the tonsils and adenoids) lasted only 15 minutes. He awoke as most children do, but not crying as he did before. Surprisingly, he has done tremendously well!!!

At home, he was HUNGRY! And ate more than he has…ever! Probably due to no ADHD stimulant that morning. He ate yogurt, pudding, Oreo cookie pie, popsicles, French fries, ect.

And he was hyper! “Put the football down & rest, son!” He took a short nap that afternoon, but was climbing the walls otherwise. As if he hasn’t had surgery at all!

The second day, he slept – the entire day – all but three hours. However, since then — I am simply amazed!!! No sore throat, no other symptoms that he had had a tonsillectomy, except….

HE DOESN”T SNORE!!!

Does your child show signs of sleep apnea? Has your child had a tonsillectomy?

 

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The Craziness of Medicaid and Flu Shots

My 3-year-old was burning up with fever this morning. 101 degrees! “Oh no!” I thought. “He has had a cough and runny nose for a week now. Please God, don’t let it be pneumonia again!”

A fever in either of my boys adopted from foster care puts me into high alert. Both boys were born premature (one in Mexico) and have had numerous hospitalizations for respiratory issues.  But this morning, my biggest concern was the flu.

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports:

“Significant increases in flu activity in the United States have occurred in the last two weeks, indicating that an early flu season is upon us. 48 states and Puerto Rico have already reported cases of laboratory-confirmed influenza and, nationally, the percentage of specimens testing positive for influenza is rising fast. Influenza-like-illness (ILI) activity levels in parts of the country are already higher than all of last season. 5 states are already reporting the highest level of activity possible.“

Last week, I took Stinkpot to the doctor regarding my suspicion that he might have hypoglycemia. I requested a flu vaccination, careful not to say the word “shot” in front of my 5-year-old.

The doctor left for a few minutes and then returned, refusing to give my little boy the flu shot.

Apparently, since he is now receiving health insurance coverage under Medicaid, the doctor said that their office cannot give flu vaccinations under Medicaid!!! What???

I now have to take my children covered under Medicaid to the county health department to get them immunized for the flu!!! You cannot be serious!!!

RANT: In my opinion, the government should make it easy for everyone to receive a flu shot – not dictate where someone, especially the poor, would have travel to get vaccinated!!!

The irony is that the CDC, which receives 85% of its funding from the Federal government, has designated the first week in December as National Influenza Vaccination Week!

Have you gotten your flu vaccine? It's not too late! It's National Influenza Vaccination Week.

I will be taking my children to the county health clinic as soon as Lil Bit is able.  However, because I had an allergic reaction to the flu shot, I cannot take it without allergy testing first.  However, because of my asthma, I will!

Have you had your children had their flu shots? Do you have to deal with the same Medicaid craziness?

If you have a blog, use these banner and web tools to spread the word and promote flu vaccinations!

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Fifth Disease Virus Hits Our Home

On Friday night, it was still over 100 degrees in the evening here in Texas. We loaded our small family of four into our GMC Yukon to have dinner at a restaurant with an indoor playground.  I was hesitant to visit Chick-Fil-A after I was verbally accosted in Chick-Fil-A by a single man for being a bad parent when I was wrangling five small children by myself.

On the way there, Stinkpot became his demanding self, repeating: “I don’t want to go to Chick-Fil-A!”

As I looked back at him to get on to him for making demands, I became immediately alarmed.

Stinkpot’s face, arms and legs were covered in hives!

“Oh no!” I exclaimed. “Pull over! Stinkpot’s covered in hives! It looks like a horrible allergic reaction.”

We quickly deduced that he was allergic to a new flavored drink from Dollar General.  He was breathing fine and his tongue wasn’t swollen so a dose of Benedryl and an early bedtime in our bed is how we began our Labor Day holiday weekend.

In the morning, I woke to check our polka-dotted 5-year-old.  The rash was worse!

A quick trip to the urgent care facility gave us the diagnosis:  Fifth Disease

“What the heck is that?“

From the KidsHealth website:

Fifth disease is actually just a mild viral illness (from a type of parvovirus) that most kids recover from quickly and without complications.

Fifth disease begins with a low-grade fever, headache, and mild cold-like symptoms (a stuffy or runny nose). These symptoms pass, and the illness seems to be gone until a rash appears a few days later.

The bright red rash usually begins on the face. Several days later, the rash spreads and red blotches (usually lighter in color) extend down to the trunk, arms, and legs. The rash usually spares the palms of the hands and soles of the feet. As the centers of the blotches begin to clear, the rash takes on a lacy net-like appearance. Kids younger than 10 years old are most likely to get the rash.

A person with parvovirus infection is most contagious before the rash appears — either during the incubation period (the time between infection and the onset of symptoms) or when experiencing only mild respiratory symptoms.

The rash is the result of an immune system reaction that occurs after the infection has passed, so kids usually aren’t contagious once it appears. Isolating someone with a fifth disease rash won’t prevent spread of the infection because the person usually isn’t contagious by that time.  The rash of fifth disease usually lasts 1 to 3 weeks.  The majority of kids with fifth disease recover with no complications. By the time the rash appears and while it’s present, they usually feel well and are back to their normal activities.

We didn’t notice Stinkpot having any cold-like symptoms before. He has been playing, and his rash is clearing up quickly. And he will be returning to school tomorrow.

Have you heard of Fifth Disease before? What odd ailments has your children come down with?

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When the Call Comes, But the Kids Don’t. Waiting!

Last week, we received a very exciting phone call – a call for the adoptive placement of 2 young girls!

I was so excited to announce the news to you last Tuesday on Facebook, albeit prematurely. As a seasoned foster parent, I should know better.

Often times in foster care, the calls come but the kids don’t.

It has been nearly a week, and our caseworker has not heard back from the girls’ caseworker.

What my intuition is telling me:  The family members probably balked at adopting the girls (they are in 2 separate relative homes), hoping another family member would adopt.  However, rather than send their little ones off, the family will step up.

I can totally understand. And I am thrilled if this is the case for these little girls.

If the girls do come, I’m sure it won’t be before Easter, although I would love to share the story of the resurrection with this cookie recipe.

However, in the mean time, we wait…

Other Waiting

The biopsy was excruciating; I’m sure my outbursts of pain permeated that floor in the hospital during the ordeal. However, that pain has a purpose to bring peace of mind. The doctor is extremely optimistic, performing the biopsy as a precaution.

Now we wait to receive the results on Friday the 13th, no less…

How many “failed placements” have you had?

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Did She Drink When She Was Pregnant?

My nine-year-old daughter, GB, is diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, Autism, and Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD). The Bipolar is well controlled with medication. I honestly am not sure about Autism… Autism and FASD have a lot of similarities. I am sure of the FASD. So far, FASD seems to have the most challenges.

What is FASD?

FASD is described as a number of different physical, neurological and mental birth defects caused by a woman’s consumption of alcohol during pregnancy.

First Signs of FASD

GB’s birth was far from ideal. Although her birth weight was good, the birth was difficult. Her APGAR scores were 6/6 and she was transferred to a NICU about an hour from me. Her breathing improved, but she had a very weak suck. They put a clean white diaper under her chin and after every feeding, weighed the diaper to determine how much formula she had actually consumed. Weak suck is one of the first signs of FASD.

When she was released, she went home to two mentally ill parents and was severely neglected for almost six months. When her parents abandoned her, my husband and I took over. GB never smiled. She couldn’t hold her bottle, and formula still leaked out the sides of her mouth. She never cooed, she never babbled. She was silent or screeching. She made no eye contact, except with me. She was up four or five times a night, every night. Children with FASD are at high risk for attachment problems.

GB started receiving Early Childhood Intervention Services when she was seven months old. She received Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy, and Special Education Services, for a total of 7 services a week. After a few months, the ECI people met with me. They wanted me to know that GB was unable to generalize and had fixations. Examples they used were once they taught GB to “pretend” a red rectangular block was a phone, she then could not use any red rectangular blocks as anything but a phone. She would also not use any other kind of block as a phone. When they taught her how to build a tower of ABC blocks, she could not build one using colored cubes. They suggested I visit a neurologist.

Physical Features of FASD

GB was diagnosed with FASD before her first birthday. She had the Fetal Alcohol features. Small eyes, smooth philtrum, and a thin upper lip. Over all, GB’s facial features were more pronounced than 97% of children diagnosed with FASD.

Photo courtesy AAFP

Sensory Issues of FASD

GB had many fetishes each of which lasted a long time. A bubble wand, a specific pencil, sunglasses, cutting up white paper into little scraps. Any interference in these activities resulted in a melt down. GB couldn’t deal with loud noise, cold weather, or large groups of people. Years of therapy have made this better. Sensory struggles are also common in children with FASD.

As a child gets older, FASD can mimic many other disorders.

Overlapping Characteristics of FASD –                      Click on the image to see full chart

It is critical that the right help is found for the child as early as possible.

Although GB still struggles, I can’t imagine where she would be today if she hadn’t received so much early intervention.

GBsMom is 55 years old and working on a PhD in Educational Psychology. She has been an adoptive and foster mother for over 30 years. Most of her kids have been some combination of Bipolar, FASD, RAD, ADHD. She has been married for 35 years and is raising her second family, GB, 9, and Hope, 6. She blogs about her life at Adopting Special Needs.

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This is How Inefficient our Government Really Is

Have you read this book written by a former foster child?


We were so excited to finally adopt our Lil Bit! Now, over two months later, we are still anxiously awaiting the arrival of his new birth certificate!

Yesterday, while glancing through the mail, I saw a plain white envelope from the state Health and Human Services! I excitedly opened the envelope to find…

Lil Bit’s Medicaid card!

Printed on the card in bold was his new name! Our family name! Lil Bit’s first “official” card with our family’s name!

After our excitement waned, I began going through the rest of the mail. To my surprise, was another envelope from the state Health and Human Services, identical to the first. Could it be his birth certificate?

My curious hands opened the second envelope to find…

another Medicaid card!

Not a duplicate card. Another Medicaid card printed with Lil Bit’s BIRTH name!

So now we have TWO Medicaid cards with both of Lil Bit’s names. (Same Medicaid number, of course)

For those of you whose adopted children receive Medicaid, is this what normally happens?

How much longer until we receive Lil Bit’s birth certificate?  Which name will be printed on it?

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Did My Husband Have a Stroke?

His left eye was dilated. A strange bump protruded on his left arm. Whoa!

But when FosterDad said, “I feel really weird and the left side of my face feels numb.”

“Get dressed. We’re going to the hospital,” I quickly replied.

He hesitated and moaned.

“Get dressed. We’re going to the hospital,” I repeated, as I was putting shoes on Stinkpot.

He made excuses. “What if it’s nothing?”

“Get dressed. We’re going to the hospital,” I demanded.

He was being obstinate.

Even on the drive to the hospital, FosterDad asked: “Can’t we just stop by Walgreen’s and check my blood pressure first?”

“They will check your blood pressure at the hospital!” I growled.

He was admitted to the hospital and finally got into his room at 3:30 a.m. (I had taken the kids to the car to sleep.)

After 2 days in the hospital and numerous tests, the doctor finally gave his prognosis.

“No evidence of stroke or aneurysm.”

Thank you, sweet friends, for your thoughts and prayers. Your comments on Twitter and Facebook made us feel cared for during this scary ordeal!

Are all men this stubborn about going to the doctor???

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Disease Takes No Holidays! RSV Strikes Again!

A belated Merry Christmas to you!  We hope your holiday was merrier than ours.  It had to be…

what-is-rsv-symptoms

Our Lil Bit had RSV this weekend & didn't feel well. I entered this photo in the IHeartFaces holiday challenge.

For those of you who don’t follow Foster2Forever on Facebook or Twitter…

Our 2-year-old, Lil Bit, is in day care – a breeding ground for illness.  On Friday, I noticed that, although happy to be playing at home with his family, he was coughing quite a bit.  It wasn’t until late afternoon that I realized — he had a fever!  A low-grade fever of less than 100 degrees F (For my Aussie readers that’s about 37.7 C). But I knew I had to get him to a doctor FAST!

I glanced at the clock. It’s 5:02 p.m.

“Dog gone it!!!“

I called the doctor’s office anyway.

“Our office hours are 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. If this is an emergency, call 9-1-1.”

We were praying he didn’t get worse. Ibuprofen controlled the fever through most of the night; however, in the morning, he still had the fever and was coughing incessantly.

We were praying we wouldn’t be spending Christmas Eve in the Emergency Room.

I called our family medical clinic that has Saturday hours. Maybe, just maybe, they will be open on Christmas Eve.

“Good morning, how may I help you?”

Hallelujah! Our family physician was the doctor on duty this Christmas Eve morning.

Dr. Meyer diagnosed our Lil Bit with RSV, prescribed a steroid, prayed for him, and sent us HOME.  We are blessed!

What is RSV?

RSV stands for Respiratory Syncytial Virus.  In adults and older children, it’s basically a cold; however, in infants, it is a very serious virus that usually requires hospitalization.  The virus causes an overabundance of mucus, which adults and older children can cough up; however, for an infant, it can cause respiratory problems and low oxygen levels.  You can read more details about what is RSV and its symptoms at Christian Mama’s Guide.

Our History with RSV

We are not strangers to this virus. This is Lil Bit’s third bout with RSV:

  1. Our Lil Bit was only 5 months old when he was first hospitalized for RSV.  During this hospital stay, we were given the paperwork for Lil Bit’s removal from our home and placement with a distant relative.  My heart wept as I was saying my goodbyes for this little angel struggling to breathe.  This is when we made that life-changing decision to intervene in the familial placement and fight for custody.
  2. One year later in February of this year, at 17 months old, our Lil Bit was diagnosed with a common cold on a Friday, and then by Monday, was hospitalized for RSV that had developed into pneumonia.  (Lesson: Doctors can misdiagnose RSV with serious consequences)
  3. At 2-1/2 years old, our Lil Bit still struggled through RSV; however, we are thankful that his breathing wasn’t affected, and that we didn’t have to celebrate our Christmas in the hospital. Thank you, Lord, for your blessings!

And if Lil Bit contracting RSV isn’t bad enough – Now, Stinkpot has a horrible cough, runny nose and fever.  And I’m getting a course cough and tightness in my chest…OUCH!

Happy New Year, Everyone!

Have any of your little ones had RSV?

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