Foster2Forever

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Water Safety as a Licensed Foster Home

This has been the hottest summer that I can remember!  Here in Texas, we have had 100+ temperatures for over 40 days!!!  40 days!!!pool-rules-regulations-foster-care

Tomorrow, the forecast is for 110 degrees!!!  110 degrees!!! It is impossible to stay cool if you are outside in this heat. We had purchased a blow-up wading pool for the kids (and us) for some family water fun; however….

We received an email from our foster home worker to “gently” remind us of the requirements for above ground pools as a licensed foster home:

If this summer heat is making you want to go out and buy an above ground pool, please remember to inform me before you fill it with water, so I can make a home visit to ensure all requirements have been met. Above ground pools need to comply with Minimum Standards and Policy, which are:

7251 Water Safety CPS April 2002

When a foster and/or adoptive parent family home is verified or approved, CPS staff must ensure that the home is in compliance with the following water safety requirements:

1.   Children under age five or children with physical or cognitive impairments must be supervised at all times in a bathtub;
2.   Adults or persons certified in water safety must supervise children around any large bodies of water at all times. This includes swimming and wading pools, hot tubs, stock ponds, creeks, rivers, lakes, oceans, or bays;
3.   Foster and/or adoptive parents who have a pool or body of water on their property must successfully complete a water safety course;
4.   Life jackets must be worn by all children and youth who engage in boating activities and by children who are in more than two feet of water and do not know how to swim;
5.   Hot tubs must be securely covered when not being used;
6.   Swimming pools must have physical barriers designed to limit access. Barriers include fences or walls, and pool safety covers.
·  Fences and walls around pools must be at least four feet high and well-constructed (the Red Cross recommends vertical fencing, and openings in the fence should be no more than four inches wide); these barriers must be installed completely around the pool.
·  Fence gates must be self-closing, self-latching, and locked when the pool is not in use.
·  If the house forms one side of the barrier for the pool, then doors leading from the house to the pool must be protected with alarms that produce an audible sound when a door is opened.
·  Applicable doors and windows must also have a lock installed that cannot be unlocked by a child under the age of five without assistance.
·  A child safety pool cover that can be placed over the water area may be used as an alternative barrier for fences or walls. However, pool covers are only required when there is no fence or wall surrounding the pool. Pool covers must be completely removed prior to pool use;
7.   Exterior ladders (not in-pool ladders) on above-ground pools must be removed and gates secured and locked when the pool is not in use;
8.   Furniture or large materials must never be left near the pool’s fence so children may not use them to scale the fence;
9.   Toys must be kept away from a pool that is not in use (toys can attract young children into the pool);
10. A telephone and basic lifesaving equipment must always be kept by the pool (for example, a pole, rope, and personal floatation devices);
11. Foster family group homes must comply with additional standards developed by DFPS’s Licensing Division (see the Minimum Standards for Child-Placing Agencies, Appendix G, Foster Group Homes, Standards G-3100.3 and G‑3100.4); and
12. Foster and/or adoptive homes must also comply with all local and county ordinances.

Needless to say, we didn’t fill it.

What are the standards for water safety in your state?

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Our Foster Home Is Now Under Investigation!!!

If you don’t know already, on the Fourth of July, our 22-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit, fell off the sofa and after an afternoon at the hospital, we discovered he had fractured his elbow.

As a licensed foster home, we reported this injury of our foster child, both verbally and by completing an injury report.  We went through the arduous process of getting him medical care from an orthopedic specialist through Medicaid.

The weekend after this unplanned, busy week was one for our family to relax! Sunday after church, we were all lounging around VERY comfortably.

3:00 p.m. – DING! DONG!

Our 4-year-old, JD, runs to door to answer. ‘Wait!” I exclaimed. FosterDad, comfortable in his boxers, tries to hand the baby to me to make his quick exit out of the living room. I’m handing the baby back.  He’s handing the baby back to me again.  Then I had to grunt, “I don’t have a bra on!“ All while JD is answering the door.

The man at the door was wearing a badge: Texas Department of Children Protective Services from Austin.

“Oh, you’re hear to check on our foster baby.”

“Yes, ma’am.  Is there a room where I can set up my laptop for the interview? I will be interviewing each of you separately.”

“Yes, right this way. Here is the spare bedroom.”

The investigator interviewed FosterDad first. A one-hour interrogation interview.

Then it was my turn for the inquisition interview.  “I will need to record this interview. Do you have an issue with that?”

“No, sir.”

For a State agency, the laptop was very high-tech with a recording program, rotating monitor, and a program and stylus to record signatures onto documents.

I won’t go into too many of the questions, but it was very intense with every little detail being questioned.  “Where were you sitting? What were the others doing? Which way were they facing? What were you reading?”

I felt as if early-onset Alzheimer’s had gotten me at the tender-young age of 46!

After my one-hour ordeal. The investigator asked if JD would talk to him. “You can see.” He questioned JD alone for a few minutes before he closed up shop to leave.

5:50 p.m. Not the relaxing weekend we had planned.

The experience was nerve-racking, not because there was anything wrong, but just because of FEAR.

  • FEAR in knowing that children have been removed from families for less than a broken bone.
  • FEAR that there was a very small possibility that our baby could be removed just a few months before adoption.

Now we are simply waiting for the final report. Our caseworker has indicated that there is no issue, but until then we have to put our faith into this verse:

Fear-not-Isaiah-Bible

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5 Tips to Scheduling Foster Care Appointments – Part 2

Last Monday, Tammy from I Must Be Trippin’ shared with us the crazy-busy schedule of foster care appointments as a single working foster mom.   Caseworkers, counselors, therapists, doctors, dentists, family visits, court appearances…  It made my head spin!  How in the world does she do foster care by herself???

5 Tips to Schedule Foster Care Appointments

  • Plan one workday each month to take off – I let all of the “regular” monthly visitors know about 2-3 weeks ahead of time when that will be and they know they will have to come on that day if they want to come during the day. Otherwise, they will have to come after I get off work or on a weekend. I have to say, they are usually pretty quick to jump on scheduling something for the day that I choose when they hear that I’m not taking off work any other day. 🙂
  • Have “regular” monthly visitors do their visits at the same time – It’s definitely easier on me and the kids, and it’s really helpful having the adults involved in the case together in order to be certain that everyone is on the same page. Because there are so many people involved in these cases, lack of communication tends to be a HUGE problem. Getting several of the key players together at one time has been very helpful for all of us.
  • Schedule outside appointments on my one day off a month – (ex. dentist, physicals, etc.)  It’s usually an insanely busy day, but if I can get the majority of the month’s appointments done in one day, it leaves the rest of the month for the kids just to be kids.
  • Request any therapy sessions, monthly visits, etc. be done at the children’s schools or daycares – I found out nine months into a placement that the caseworker didn’t have to come to the house every month. She mentioned offhandedly that she could occasionally see the baby at his daycare and do my interview over the phone. I also found out that there are some therapists who will travel to the children’s schools for their weekly sessions. No one had ever mentioned these things to me, so now I always ask.
  • Have a super-cool, mega-sized day planner – I like this goal-planning weekly/monthly schedule planner that never leaves my side when I have a placement. I use it to keep track of everyone’s schedules as well as to jot down notes about visitations, milestones, behavioral problems, giving medications, etc. It comes in incredibly handy when I complete my monthly progress reports and med logs for the kids. Keeping it with me has also helped when I get the inevitable phone calls asking, “When did so-and-so last go to the dentist?” or “How many visits have the kids had with their parents now?” It’s a great way to keep track of schedules as well as doubles as a diary of sorts. Believe me, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to go back and reference notes and other pertinent information in mine. Having everything in one location is a huge help when it comes to the paperwork. I’ve also been told that it makes me “the best foster parent ever” by my agency and a few caseworkers. (Note to you caseworkers out there… It never hurts to butter up your foster parents by telling them how awesome they are. 🙂

I hope I haven’t scared away any potential foster parents with this rundown of the madness that is life in foster care. I always think that it helps to know what you’re getting into. I know it would have helped me that first day when I was trying to comfort a baby in a body cast while being bombarded by phone calls from people wanting to know when it was a “convenient” time for them come to my house.

Just remember that you don’t always have to jump to do their bidding. You are the one parenting these kids who need someone to stand up for them. A caseworker wants to schedule a home visit the afternoon after your baby gets his 6-month shots? You can say “no.” I didn’t realize that when I first started out. I have learned, and now I pass on my wisdom to you, Young Jedi… 😉

Feel free to follow my foster/adopt journey at “I Must Be Trippin’,” and join us every other week for “Foster Friday” when our panel of foster/adopt moms and family members discuss various topics related to this crazy and wonderful world we have chosen to live in known as Foster/Adopt Land.

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Our Foster Baby Broke His Arm!!!

foster-child-injury

Foster child playing with a cast

If you follow Foster2Forever on Facebook or Twitter, you know that our Independence Day began with our 22-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit, falling off the sofa.

It was a short fall. A freak accident. However, when he stood up, Lil Bit was holding his right wrist.  FosterDad is a former P.E. teacher and knew something wasn’t right by the way he was holding it.

We were visiting family in East Texas, so we took a trip to the local hospital emergency room.  The x-ray confirmed our fear.  Our baby boy had a fractured elbow.  It was not his wrist, as we first suspected.

However, due to the location of the fracture, the E.R. physician was concerned about it affecting Lil Bit’s arm movement.  She requested that we take Lil Bit to an orthopedic specialist in the next few days. Her concern was that he might have to undergo surgery and physical therapy to prevent problems with mobility.

We arrived home late Monday night and Tuesday morning began all the follow-up to:

  • Report the incident to our foster home case worker, Lil Bit’s caseworker, and a quick FYI to our attorney;
  • Complete a report for “Serious Injury of a Foster Child” to turn into both caseworkers;
  • Call the Medicaid insurance provider (StarHealth) to get a list of orthopedic specialists;
  • Call the list of specialists and learn than none take Medicaid;
  • Make an appointment for out-of-town orthopedic specialist;
  • Visit Primary Care Physician for a referral to the orthopedic specialist;
  • Visit orthopedic specialist!!!

The visit to the orthopedic doctor went better than expected! Another x-ray showed that the bone is healing well and surgery will not be necessary.  A hard cast was put on Lil Bit’s arm, and he returns in 3 weeks to see how it is healing.

For Lil Bit, the broken arm has been more of a nuisance to him than anything. He gets frustrated that now he can’t climb on the couch or sleep tucked on his tummy.  He is eating well with his left hand.  He now has to drink out of a sippy cup with handles.

However, for us, as foster parents, we are not out of the woods. As we are in the final stages of Lil Bit’s adoption, the State is now conducting their followup investigation into the injury.

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The Never-Ending Foster Care Appointments – Part One

If you follow Foster2Forever on Facebook and/or Twitter, you know that our 22-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit, broke his arm last week.  We have been engrossed in all the follow-up appointments and investigations that come with a serious injury, such as a broken bone.  So today, I am thrilled that we have Tammy of “I Must Be Trippin‘”  guest posting about the crazy schedule of appointments in foster care, while we attend to Lil Bit’s needs…

You Want Him to Go to the Dentist? He Has No Teeth!!!

When I entered the crazy world of Foster/Adopt Land as a single, full-time working foster mom nearly three years ago, I was blissfully unaware of what I was getting myself into. I think the foster care trainers deliberately lull you into a false sense of security during the initially training classes. They scare the poo out of you when it comes to potential behaviors of your soon-to-be children, but sort of fail to mention the extent to which your life will be completely taken over by foster care-related appointments.

I remember the trainers telling us that children in foster care are required to see a doctor within two weeks of placement and a dentist within 60 days. “No problem! I can handle that,” I thought. Have you ever tried to find a pediatrician who would actually accept new Medicaid patients and get them in for their initial appointment within 14 days?!? Good luck with that! Six placements later, and I have yet to meet that 2-week deadline. And have you ever taken a 7-month-old with a grand total of two teeth to the dentist? I have!!! The man looked at me as if I had sprouted a third eyeball from my chin.

I went into my first placement expecting to do those couple of initial medical appointments and for my agency worker to “come out to the house periodically.”

I remember the first time I wrote about all of the appointments that were taking over our lives and how I desperately needed advice on what I could do to make it better. At the time, I had a baby boy and his 16-year-old mom. Their case was a little extreme in terms of the number of regular appointments and random people requesting access to our home, but it definitely gave me a good idea of how insane Foster/Adopt Land can be. On any given day, we had AT LEAST two CPS-related appointments (ex. therapy, medication monitoring, visitations, parenting classes, training classes, home visits with caseworkers, CASAs for each child, attorneys, court dates, etc.).

We tried to cram in all of the mandatory doctor and dental visits as well as our routine visits that we would have regardless of CPS on the two days a week that we didn’t have standing appointments. My 13-month-old had his own dayplanner for crying out loud!!! And it was full!!! I remember my teenage daughter’s caseworker actually having the nerve to ask us what kinds of extracurricular activities she was involved in. “Extracurricular activities?!?!? Well, let’s see… She has therapy every Monday. Visitation with her parents every Tuesday. Parenting classes every Wednesday… You’re here today… Extracurricular activities??? ”

Just to give your poor, unsuspecting, potential and first-time foster parents an idea of what you might be dealing with, let me frighten you with:

In the two and half years that I’ve been fostering, I have had monthly home visits from:

* My agency’s Family Specialist
* The children’s Caseworkers
* Each child’s CASA

Also requesting occassional access inside my home have been:

* My agency’s Director
* The children’s attorneys
* A CPS Investigator (investigating a prior foster home of one of the kids)
* State Licensing Staff
* ECI workers
* Psychiatrist
* Counselor
* Physical therapist
* Multiple Case Aids providing transportation
* Fire Department for the annual inspection (Although I don’t really mind that one so much. 😉

Outside appointments have included:

*Regular physicals and well-baby checks
*Therapy sessions
*Medication monitoring for children on psychotropic meds
*Dental visits (every 6 months beginning at 7-months-old)
*Annual eye exams
*Annual TB testing for children over the age of 12-months-old and myself
*WIC appointments
*Visitations with birth parents and occassional other family members
*Court dates
*Parenting classes for my teen mom
*Other classes for teens aging out of care
*School-related appointments
*Agency meetings discussing my children’s cases
*And of course, 50 hours worth of annual continuing foster parent training for me (because I clearly have nothing else to do).

Have I mentioned that I am a SINGLE, full-time working foster mom?

“What have you done to make things easier for yourself and your kids,” you might ask?

Come back next Monday, as I detail the ways I’ve managed this crazy schedule of foster care appointments.

Feel free to follow my foster/adopt journey at “I Must Be Trippin’,” and join us every other week for “Foster Friday” when our panel of foster/adopt moms and family members discuss various topics related to this crazy and wonderful world we have chosen to live in known as Foster/Adopt Land.

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Finally a License for Foster Care

Before actually going through the process, I had taken for granted that anyone pretty much normal could get a foster care license. After going through the hoops of attending a “mandatory” informational meeting and all the PRIDE training, we were denied a license for foster care!!! I was ticked! All the talk of a shortage of foster homes, yada yada.

Since we were licensed as an adoptive home only, we sat empty for months. No calls. Nothing. Nada.

In January of 2008, we had a quarterly visit from our caseworker.  She said that the supervisor that opposed our license for foster care was no longer over that section, and that now there was no opposition for our home to be licensed for foster care.

We now had a dual-license as a foster and adoptive home!!!!

But still no calls…

Fortunately, I happen to work with a former foster parent.  Not just any foster parent.  A long-term foster parent.  A foster parent that knows everyone in our area involved in foster care. The State agency staff.  CASA workers.  Foster families.  This foster parent has even held leadership positions in a few of the area non-profit associations that benefit foster children.

One day at the office, this co-worker was wanting to small talk with me and asked how foster parenting was going.  And I let loose!

Would you believe that a few days later this co-worker ran into our PRIDE trainer at Wal-Mart and let her know how ticked off we were?

Would you believe the very next week, on March 4, 2008, we received a call about the placement of an infant for foster care only?

Would you believe that we adopted this foster baby the next year?

Our gorgeous Stinkpot we adopted the next year! I entered this photo in the Beautiful Eyes challenge at IHeartFaces.com

Would you believe that God was smiling through all this knowing that He had a plan all along for our family?

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~Jeremiah 29:11

Check other photos of gorgeous eyes at IHeartFaces.com

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Top 3 Ways to Delay Getting a Foster Care License

Becoming a licensed foster care home so that you may accept placements of foster children can be quite an arduous process. In Texas, you must first attend an informational meeting on foster care before you can attend 30 hours of mandatory PRIDE training. After that, you must pass a home study.

That’s home stretch, so to speak, or it is for most, except us….here is Foster2Forever’s Top 3 Ways to Delay Getting Your Foster Care License.

1.  LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE

At the time we began our journey to become foster parents, we lived in a small rural Texas town at least 45 minutes from any town over 10,000.  We complete our PRIDE training in March 2007, and did not get scheduled for our home study until the end of May, over 2 months later!

We learned later that our current foster home caseworker was the one that scheduled our home study.   She’s told us how she struggled to find someone willing to travel so far to our rural home to conduct the home visit for the home study. She jokes with us about how nobody had heard of our village.  So if you want a quick home study – don’t live in the boonies!

home-landscaping-makeover

Our landscaping makeover before we sold our rural home

2.  MOVE TO ANOTHER LOCATION DURING THE HOME STUDY PROCESS

We had made the decision a year before (in 2006) to move from the boonies back to my hometown – a city of over 100,000. We had an offer on our rural home in late-March and were closing the end of May. All just in time for the home study visit scheduled the week of our move.

The lady walks into our living room with no living room furniture and boxes everywhere. She had to conduct the interview sitting with us around the dining room table.  It went well, and she seemed to understand our situation.

A couple of weeks after our move, we were assigned a home caseworker that informed us that we needed to conduct a new fire and health inspection.  We were so happy to be back in civilization, but larger cities do have disadvantages — we didn’t get our health inspection scheduled until mid-July.

Because we had moved, we had to also schedule another home visit. Our new caseworker visited, and we passed the walk-through; however, she did bring some bad news…

3.  HAVE A STATE AGENCY REFUSE TO LICENSE YOU FOR FOSTER CARE

Yep, you read that right! I find it hard to believe myself. Especially, given the foster home shortage.  But it’s all true!  Someone in the agency did NOT want us to be licensed for foster care. “You can be licensed for adoption only.”

“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!“

Apparently, someone thought that I would get “too attached” to a foster child, since I had no children of my own. I couldn’t believe it! (I still can’t, really)

So we sat as an “adoption only” home for months, until “someone” in the agency was transferred….

What challenges did you face in becoming a licensed foster home?

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PRIDE Training for Foster Care License

Our journey to become a licensed foster home was not easy.  First off, we had to travel 75 miles to Brenham, Texas in order to attend a “mandatory” informational meeting before we would even be able to enroll in PRIDE classes the next week.

PRIDE stands for Parent Resource for Information, Development, Education. The PRIDE course is 30 hours plus foster parents in Texas are required to have training on Behavior Intervention and other miscellaneous topics such as HIV, SIDS, shaken baby syndrome, etc.

Our training course was Tuesday and Fridays from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. A big chunk of time. Compound this with the fact that we lived an hour and a half away from the training, and this was exhausting!  Every Tuesday and Friday, we would rush out the door as soon as FosterDad came home from his bus route. We would scarf down some chow on the drive or just bring supper into the class with us. We did this for SIX WEEKS!

The first PRIDE class was basically a more detailed informational meeting.  I’m sorry but that “mandatory” informational meeting was a waste of a Saturday morning for us.  Get this: there was a man in that first PRIDE class that kept asking question after question. “What if there’s a teenage girl that accuses me of touching her?” and other questions along that line.  He was incredibly fearful, and FosterDad and I wondered if he even attended the mandatory informational meeting to ask those questions.  He didn’t show up again.

The classes themselves involved some canned videos and discussions on a variety of topics such as effects of abuse and neglect, sexual abuse, grief and loss, attachment issues, discipline, etc. One session on sexual abuse was incredibly touching as some of us shared our experiences as victims.  Much was common sense, but required material, and our instructors understood that some material could be covered quickly while other topics, such as discipline, would need more detail and discussion.

The class was taught by our current foster home case worker and a delightful veteran foster mom in the area. I was blessed to meet them and learn from them. I so enjoy our caseworker and love her visits (even if Stinkpot turns into a little monster when she is here).

Each week, we would have “homework”.  The homework was actually one piece of the home study at a time. A better way instefingerprintsad of the overwhelming list of things to do to complete your home study. One week, we would bring identification for criminal background checks. One week, copies of W-2’s or paycheck stubs. One week, divorce decrees. One week, the completed family profile questionnaire.

The most difficult task of the homework was completing our FBI fingerprinting.  We first had to call a number to schedule an appointment at the closest location (this was only 45 miles away from our home).  Then we had to bring our completed application along with $55 each.

Our last class, we had a little party eating tons of food while we covered the miscellaneous topics to complete our training. We completed our training!  That was March 2007.  All we needed was our home study visit. We were in the home stretch. It wouldn’t be long before our house would be full of kids, right?

WRONG! Next week, how we struggled to get that coveted foster care license.

ONLINE ADOPTION CONFERENCE

The Adoption HEART Conference is an online conference for foster and adoptive parents with a focus on Healing Trauma And Responding to Trauma (HEART). The conference sessions are free to watch during the conference dates.

If you are a temporary parent to traumatized children, and are trying to provide stability and make a difference in children’s lives, if only for a short time. You are in the trenches of parenting trauma.  This event will help you in developing strategies to effectively parent through trauma!

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Our Journey to Become a Licensed Foster Care Home

Our journey to become a licensed foster-adoptive home was just that.  A journey.3 different towns and over 1,800 miles of driving

The Beginning of our Foster Care Journey for a License

FosterDad and I discover our infertility in the Fall of 2006. After a time of grief and a busy holiday season, in January 2007, we made the decision to become foster parents hoping to eventually become a forever family to a small child or two. We discovered the steps in Texas to become a licensed foster/adoptive home is:

  1. Attend an informational meeting,
  2. Complete an application to attend PRIDE classes,
  3. Attend PRIDE classes (plus CPR/First Aid),
  4. Complete a home study,
  5. Get your license.

Lo and behold, PRIDE classes were about to begin! Perfect timing! Or was it?

There was a catch. We had missed the informational meeting. Okay. Let’s just enroll in the PRIDE class.

Wrong! Bureaucracy decided to rear its ugly head.

“You cannot enroll in the PRIDE classes until you attend the informational meeting.”

“But we missed it last week. Can’t we go ahead and enroll in the PRIDE class?”

“NO! You MUST attend the informational meeting first. But the next class begins in the fall.”

Grrr! I was ready to bite off someone’s head! It’s name was Bureaucracy.

Attending the Informational Meeting

Guess what? There was an informational meeting being held that Saturday morning. In Brenham, Texas (home to Blue Bell ice cream – have you heard of it?). 75 miles away.

So…we woke early that Saturday and drove and hour and a half to attend this “mandatory” informational meeting.

The “information” in this mandatory meeting was basically to touch upon neglect and the children that come into foster care.  Did we learn any new information? For us, no. We felt the meeting was more of a recruiting tool. We already knew that we wanted to become foster parents so, for us, the meeting was a waste of time just the first step in the process.

The PRIDE classes would be the next step and would be held in another city 75 miles in the opposite direction from our home!

Photo: Sienna minivan courtesy of Toyota

Part 2. PRIDE training classes and that coveted foster care license we were first denied.

I’m Clever

Sway