Foster2Forever

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FOSTER BABY AND OTHER MISCELLANEOUS THINGS

The hardest part of adopting through foster care is the uncertainty of a final adoption.

Our 10-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit, was placed in our home after a violent dispute between the mother and her grandmother, last December. The mother had had her parental rights terminated with her 5 previous children which were not placed with relatives. We were told the baby would be ours for adoption. (oops!)

This case has been a complete mess and $6,000 in legal fees later – Lil Bit is still with us until a custody hearing in late September. You can read the history HERE.

We had a permanency meeting last month to discuss the forever plan for Lil Bit and his mother’s progress for reunification.  When a child is first removed, the parents and the State draw up a permanency plan checklist that lays out all the individual steps a parent must do in order to be reunified with their child(ren). Items include things as routine (for the normal responsible population) as getting (and keeping) a job or income and finding a place to live independently.  Other things include drug testing, anger management classes, parenting classes, first aid training, and individual or group counseling.

In the meeting, Lil Bit’s mentally-challenged birth mother showed that she is working hard to complete everything on the permanency plan checklist to get back custody of her baby. She had completed all the training and is now receiving SSI and will be moving into government housing soon. She has purchased a baby bed and high chair for Lil Bit, fully anticipating his return.

This is the saddest part! After all of her hard work, in this meeting, a State worker looked the birth mother in the face and told her,

“We do not believe that you have the mental capacity to care for the baby by yourself.
The current plan for permanency for this baby is adoption.“

I felt so horrible for this mother. She really has no clue and neither does her mother.

The State’s current plan is adoption by the baby’s great-aunt.  The birth mother and grandmother oppose this adoption and stated in the meeting that they want us to adopt Lil Bit instead of their family.  They stated that the uncle is a weekend disc jockey and there is a lot of alcohol consumption in the home. “They like to party.” The State did acknowledge that they did need to “check out some things” in regard to their home study.

The CASA stated that another court hearing will occur before our original September 22nd custody hearing. We believe that the State will be seeking to terminate the birth mother’s parental rights before September, but we do not know.

The good news is that Lil Bit will stay with us in the meantime. More time to be a true blessing in our home!

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I just heard that everything is fine for the licensing of our home for the 18-year-old with Asperger’s Syndrome.  We still haven’t heard from his case worker and are assuming they found a home for him.

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Yesterday, our 3-year-old Stinkpot, was very upset with us for not taking him with us to “Big Church” after Sunday School.  So last night, we took him with us to Sunday evening worship since there wasn’t any childcare that night.  He did GREAT, sitting up in his chair, paying close attention – UNTIL – the singing stopped.  Then continually, loudly whining politely asking to go to “his class”.

So he and I went outside to the church playground, split a Wendy’s Apple Pecan Chicken Salad, and enjoyed a special “Mommy and Me” picnic!

Mommy and Me Monday at Really, Are You Serious? Hosted by Krystyn
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Remember to enter this month’s GIVEAWAY! Foster2Forever is giving away an autographed copy of Spoken from the Heart signed by Laura Bush, the former First Lady herself!

Remember to enter a comment, if you are already a follower or subscriber!

Have a great week!

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A STRANGE DAY IN COURT FOR OUR FOSTER BABY

Today we went to court in regard to the placement of our 9-month-old foster baby, Lil Bit.  In December, he was placed with us as a legal-risk placement meaning that, at the time, there was no foreseeable family members for placement and the mother’s parental rights had been terminated with her previous 5 children.

As foster parents, we had “intervened” with the court in the placement of this baby with an aunt of the mother.  You can read more of the details of the case on this post.

I have not been optimistic. Everyone seemed to be wanting this baby to go live with his great-aunt. In fact, when the Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) had visited last week, her last remark to me was: “he’s young, he’ll assimilate easily.”

Today was NOTHING what I expected. The baby’s case was called second on the docket.

The CPS case worker was called to the stand. She was asked how the mother was doing and she stated that she was currently working services.  The baby’s ad litem attorney asked if CPS was still looking at placing the baby with his great-aunt and her reply was yes.

My attorney showed me a report from the CASA. He instructed me to look at the Recommendations on the last page. #3 stated: “The child should remain in his current placement.”

The judge then ruled that Lil Bit would remain in his current placement (WITH US)!

The next hearing is set for September.

WOW!  All I can say is…the miracle of prayer!
I want to say a HUGE THANKS to all our prayer warriors out there!!!

Y’all have a great week!
Hugs!

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I HEART MY FOSTER BABIES!!!

Tomorrow is the big day!  Tuesday, May 25th is when we go back to court to see if we will keep our Lil Bit, or if he will be placed with a great aunt.  I am not optimistic. CPS wants him with family – the baby’s ad litem attorney wants him with family – the baby’s Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) wants him with family.  However, the birthmother does NOT want him with family. You can read the drama details of the last hearing on this post.

If the judge rules for Lil Bit to go, my husband & I can use this reprieve to reconnect & regroup for our next placement.

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God” – Romans 8:28

And for the IHeartFaces yellow challenge this week, here is a picture of our very first foster baby that was placed with us – now, this picture is 2 years later & he is now adopted.  He is such a Stinker!

Y’all have a great week enjoying your loved ones!
Hugs!
~penny

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ANOTHER COURT HEARING ON OUR FOSTER BABY

Many times when a child is placed in foster care, it is because there isn’t any stable family members available to provide a safe environment for the child.  However, albeit rarely, family members may argue over who will get to keep the child. This is quickly becoming the case with our 9-month-old, Lil Bit.

After having her rights terminated on 5 previous infants, the birthmother is actually working to reclaim custody of Lil bit; however, she does have an uphill battle considering that she is mentally-challenged.
Amazingly, while Lil Bit is in foster care, the birthmother does NOT want Lil Bit placed with any of her family members. She has actually sided with our family over hers in court. However, her first choice is for Lil Bit to be placed with her friends that are raising Lil Bit’s siblings – all 5 of them.  (I’ll call them the Cons) However, since the Cons are no relation to Lil Bit and haven’t even met him, the judge had previously ruled that the Cons do not have any legal rights to the child.

We have a hearing set for next Tuesday, May 25th, to determine whether the Lil Bit will go live with his great-aunt (against the birthmother’s wishes) or whether he will remain with us.

But that blew up a couple of weeks ago. I was driving through rural Texas for work, and my cell phone beeped that I had a message.  The voice mail was from none other than Lil Bit’s case worker (I’ll call her AB). She wanted to visit our home that afternoon. I was ticked! Why?

AB had finally set up her first home visit in the 4 months since we’d had the baby for the week before – and never showed! No phone call, nothing! I even called the next day to finalize arrangements for Lil Bit’s dental appointment for the next week, and AB didn’t even mention her missed visit.

And now she wanted us to drop everything for her convenience. I returned her call the next morning and invited her to come to our home that night. Ha! A Friday night! Plus the maid would have just cleaned that afternoon! Double ha!

When AB finally arrived for her first home visit, she told us the reason for her expedited visit – there was another court hearing scheduled for the next Tuesday!

At our last custody hearing in March, AB had to give testimony regarding the Cons. (Although their case had already been thrown out by the judge before that hearing, the judge went ahead and allowed Mr. Con to testify since the birthmother’s attorney had called him as a witness since she wants Lil Bit with her other children.)

In AB’s testimony in March, she had stated that the Con’s home had been closed. Apparently, that was the correct terminology to use since the home had only reached the “maximum number of occupants.”

Although Mrs. Con wasn’t at that hearing, she was apparently so upset about AB’s testimony that “trashed their name”, that she exploded at the Regional Director of Family & Protective Services – a special hearing was called.

At our home visit, I asked AB if there was anything that we needed to do or if we needed to attend this special hearing the next Tuesday. She reassured us that there was nothing we needed to do.

However, at 2:45pm on Monday afternoon, AB called and told me that we did, in fact, need to attend the hearing the next morning.

I quickly tried to contact our attorney. I finally tracked him down driving from a deposition in South Texas. I quickly briefed him on the hearing. He was livid that, being the attorney on record, he hadn’t received the required 3-day hearing notice. Not only very frustrated for the lack of hearing notice, but my lack of knowledge on the details of this hearing, and also his lack of cell phone coverage in the Texas coastal plains. {can you hear me now?}

The next morning our attorney attended this joke of a hearing – it was in the judge’s chambers only – nothing in the legal record.

During the discussions, our attorney did have to remind everyone that the testimony regarding the Cons occurred AFTER the judge had already thrown out their case when AB testified.

The judge stated that to resolve the issue, Child Protective Services (CPS) could put a memo in the legal record; but, the next custody hearing for Lil Bit would still occur on May 25th.

Whew! What a mess! It’s hard to believe that when Lil Bit was removed from the birthmother, CPS was looking for a legal risk home to adopt this beautiful baby boy.

As we approach next Tuesday’s hearing date, how much are you willing to wager that the Cons will be in the courtroom, still trying to stake their claim on Lil Bit? Will Lil Bit’s great-aunt show up to this hearing? If she does show up, will the judge award custody to his great-aunt?  CPS always prefers familial placements.  {read my first post on the custody of Lil Bit}

We are grateful for your continued prayers!
Hugs!
~penelope

{all photos excepts Lil Bit’s gorgeous eyes are from
Flickr’s Creative Commons group
– please click on the photos to visit their wonderful works of art}

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UPDATE on Lil Bit…Part 2 (Our Day in Court)

Foster parents usually don’t have “standing” in a custody hearing on foster children unless the child has been in the foster home for at least a year.
[“Standing mean that you have a legal case in court.
If you don’t have standing, your case is dismissed.]
Here we are about to “intervene” in the custodial placement of Lil Bit, our 6-month-old foster baby, into the home of a distant relative. A foster family “intervening” in a family placement is pretty much unheard of in our area.

However, this is an unusual case in that another family also tried to intervene in Lil Bit’s placement with the distant relative. All of Lil Bit’s 5 siblings have previously been adopted by a friend of his birth mother. This family friend also intervened and requested standing in court.

Lil Bit’s birth mother was supporting him going to live with this family and his 5 siblings (along with the many other children in the home)
instead of with her family member.

However, Children Protective Services (CPS), the baby’s ad litem attorney, the Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for the baby, ALL objected to their intervention. Their case for standing was quickly dismissed with these objections and because they had not met Lil Bit.

At this point, there was no objection to our standing in this case.
(WE’RE IN!!!)

Now that the birth mother’s friend wouldn’t get Lil Bit, the mother asked her attorney to meet me. Our attorneys awkwardly agreed. When we were introduced, I gave her pictures I had taken of Lil Bit in the 2 months he had lived with us. Looking through the photos, she wiped away tears from her face. She decided to now support us instead of her family member in this custody hearing. (Strange, isn’t it? Sadly, I believe it demonstrates a deep dysfunction in the family)

Also, in our favor, there was doubt of whether Lil Bit would be able to receive government benefits in the near future since he was born in Mexico. Since we are financially able to provide for him with our income, the CASA and ad litem attorney now supported Lil Bit staying with us.

So now we are in court asking that our foster baby stay in our home and not go live with a distant relative. The baby’s mother, ad litem attorney and CASA all support Lil Bit staying with us.
Then, there is CPS policy…

The CPS policy is, if possible, children are placed with family members –
However, since CPS is the only party not supporting the baby staying with us, they had to call state headquarters to see if they could officially support the baby staying with us. If so, then there would be a consensus of all the parties that Lil Bit stay with us and we could all go home without a hearing.

So there we are in court –
waiting –
tic tock, tic tock –
$4 a minute in attorney fees…

45 minutes later we finally get the official answer from Austin.
CPS policy is always family first.

The judge then granted a continuance and our custody hearing is now set for another day.

Please pray for us – we need strength, courage and faith that “all things work together for good.”

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YES, IT DOES GET WORSE!

What a week!

I am still very nervous about what going to happen to Lil Bit, our 5-month-old foster baby. His case worker called me last Friday to tell me that they were going to send Lil Bit to the family member that has his other 5 siblings.

Since then, I have spoken with our attorney, and it all comes down to whether we, as foster parents, have standing for a court case. Foster parents can ask a judge to be considered as an option for placement if the child has lived with them for a year. Even though Lil Bit has lived with us less than 2 months – he has lived with us for 20% of his short life. But that doesn’t hold up in court.

We will have to prove that placing Lil Bit with the family member will possibly “endanger or otherwise cause harm” to him. Did I mention that, as I understand it, this family member has 6 children of their own? I know that the State is not recommending this placement; however, the family member does have an attorney & is requesting a sibling placement. I am meeting with our attorney tomorrow.

The worst part of all this is that I took Lil Bit to the doctor on Tuesday because he was getting a cough – and, turns out he has RSV! He was admitted to the hospital & is in isolation! I’m thankful I went ahead and took him before he had gotten worse! He has been doing well in that he is still getting plenty of oxygen; however, he has been fighting a fever & severe congestion.

Please keep Lil Bit and our family in your prayers!

I’m Clever

Sway