Foster2Forever

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Our Love Story Continues: Our First Conversation…

The first part of this story is when FosterDad arrives at our church. Read it first!
Then, don’t forget to read his side of the beginning!

My parents had separated just before Christmas of 1978 and were divorcing.  My grandfather had recently died, and my mom was now living 4 hours away. Being 14 years old at the time, I was embroiled in the middle of a heated court battle over the custody over me and my 2 younger sisters. I had no idea where I was going to be going to school the next school year.

And if my world wasn’t falling apart enough, my best friend, Sonya, was moving away that summer!  Somehow, someway, I was invited to spend a week at church camp with her before she moved away.

Sonya and I were so excited over our first “real” camp experience and being able to spend a whole week – 7 full days together!  Long before the bus pulled out for the journey across Texas to New Mexico, Sonya and I were sitting on the bus together giggling and being silly together as we did so well.

THEN, that foxy preacher’s son strolled onto the bus. He was making his way down the aisle and sat in the seat across from us! GULP! My heart skipped a beat when he spoke to me, and my shyness overtook my personality.

Me at age 14

“So, what’s your name?”

“Penelope”

“I’m Steve.”

“Hi.”

“So, what grade are you in?”

“I’m gonna be in the 9th grade.”

“Oh, nice meeting you. See ya’ around.”

Of course, this is how I remember our first exchange…..

To this day, FosterDad will probably tell you that he got called to play cards, but in reality, as a college junior, he was not interested in talking to a little girl that just finished junior high!

Stay tuned for his side of the story!

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Our Love Story Begins – as told by FosterDad

The first part of this story is when FosterDad arrives at our church. Read it first!

Here’s the second part of how we met told from FosterDad’s point of view…

It was the summer of 1979. I had just completed my sophomore year of College, and my parents had just moved to a tiny little community in Central Texas. The Church my Dad had just become Pastor of, were taking their teenagers to Glorieta Baptist Conference Center (in New Mexico) for a Youth Camp. I had no plans to go on this trip and besides I had already secured a job for the summer and needed to make as much money as possible before the fall semester started.

Our church group at Glorieta

A week or so before the group was to leave, the Youth Pastor came to me and asked me if I would be willing to go with them to Glorieta as a sponsor, as well as, help drive the old church bus to New Mexico. I gave him several reasons why I couldn’t, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer, and I finally relented and told him I would go.

At 19 years of age, I was the youngest sponsor on the trip, but still several years older than most of the young people who had signed up to go. I had not had time to meet most of the young people on the trip, so getting to know them would be my first order of business.

I spotted an empty seat next to a very cute little brunette, and made my way to that seat…

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BLONDIE

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters

OUR FOSTER BABY WITH US….

Lil Bit has been sick with an ear infection this week.
Fever.
Not sleeping (any of us).
He has now learned how to gag himself when we give him medicine. yuk!

{Last night, we sent in our revised laundry list of potential birth family contact} Thanks for all your prayers and support during this journey!

MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND…
This week was his birthday, and we spent his special day at the health care clinic. He didn’t get a nice lunch or dinner or cake or even his presents. Poor boy, we’ll have to make it up to him.
Have you ever had a birthday that totally sucked???
[I celebrated my 25th birthday on a Greyhound bus broke down in Eunice, Louisiana during a winter storm. Top that!] 

OUR FOSTER GIRL THAT LEFT….

Meet Blondie!

  • Arrived June 2009 at nearly 2 years old
  • sweet and shy at first
  • serious attachment issues with excessive clingyness
  • aversion to men (including my hubby)
  • incessant whiner
  • prone to night terrors
  • extremely competitive with Stinkpot
  • extremely intelligent (possibly gifted)
  • loved water, shopping, and all things girlie
  • in October 2009, left the biggest hole in my heart when she went to live with a relative!!!
  • I still miss her!
I entered this photo in this week’s I Heart Faces challenge – click the badge for more “Shades” photos!
But I did want to also show you this photo of Stinkpot and Blondie together since it’s so CUTE!

If you still waiting to hear the next chapter of our love story, my hubby is writing the next part from his point of view – and he won’t let me see it!  I’ll post as soon as he finishes it…

Y’all have a great week!

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ABOUT US

Look it’s a blog hop!

Howdy, y’all!

I’m a mid-40s first time mom! Yep! A late bloomer at its best! You see, I was a single girl in the big city of Houston, Texas all through the 1990s +. Then in 2004, my life changed drastically forever through a whirlwind romance and marriage!

I moved from a city of 4 million to a town of 1,400 and began trying to conceive at age 40. In less than 2 years, our fertility doctor told us that all my eggs were gone and should realistically look at adopting a child.

We began the process to become foster parents in Jan 2007 hoping to adopt through our state’s foster care program. After a move back to our hometown and struggles with state licensing staff, we officially became foster parents to Stinkpot on March 4, 2008 and adopted him over a year later on my husband’s 50th birthday in August 2009.

Through this journey, we have been foster parents to 4 girls (age 2-12), having to say goodbye and wonder how they are doing.

We currently have a 1-year-old baby boy (Lil Bit) that we foster and would like to eventually adopt: however, his case is a MESS!

On this blog, I share our struggles and joys of being foster parents and eventually becoming a forever family!

I hope you enjoy our adventures in foster care! Hold on because it can be a crazy ride!

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First Blogiversary, a Makeover and Custody Update

TODAY IS THE FIRST BLOGIVERSARY OF THE FOSTER2FOREVER BLOG!

I began this little blog last year to share stories and pictures to our family and friends. But as time went on, to my surprise, friends began asking more and more questions about our experience as foster parents. They wanted to know the “real stories” of foster parenting.  That is how this blog morphed from just a family blog to Foster2Forever.

BLOG MAKEOVER

In celebration of the blogiversary, the blog received a makeover! With the help of Amber from Stolen Moments Design, Foster2Forever has a new look! (But it is still a work in progress) What do you think?  You can check out Amber’s designs in the ScrapMatters store for your custom blog wear design.

Plus, Foster2Forever now has a Facebook page! Check out the a badge on the right side bar. Now, you can just click on the badge and “like” Foster2Forever on Facebook. How cool is that?

CUSTODY UPDATE ON OUR FOSTER BABY

Some of you have been asking about last week’s permanency meeting in the custody struggle with Lil Bit, our 10-month-old foster baby. Here’s the Reader’s Digest version: It was an informal, casual, routine status meeting. The mentally-challenged birth mother showed that she is working hard to do everything on the permanency plan checklist to get back custody of Lil Bit. The State does not believe that she can care for Lil Bit by herself. The current plan for Lil Bit is relative adoption. The birth mother and grandmother oppose relative adoption and support us adopting Lil Bit. Another court hearing will occur before September 22nd. Lil Bit will stay with us in the meantime. I will post more details next week!

LAURA BUSH BOOK REVIEW

I finally read my autographed copy of Spoken from the Heart signed by Laura Bush, the former First Lady herself! (I had to stand in line for over an hour for this!)

I was fascinated to discover that, like me, by marrying later in life, she and George had struggled to conceive. They even had an application for adoption at the Gladney Center, when they discovered Laura was pregnant with the twins. (unlike me).

This is what other blogs are saying about Spoken from the Heart:

Susan from Thoughts from Over the Rainbow:
“I was moved by how poignantly she describes her heartache when she was unable to conceive in early marriage. She says that there is no word in the English language to mourn absence. She says, “For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like a silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that was never held?”.”

Laura Gerold from Laura’s Reviews: 
“Laura Bush writes the story of her life starting from the very beginning and through the move back to Texas after the end of George Bush’s presidency. I found her entire story intriguing, and was a great modern history. The book seemed to show me what I had always thought; Laura Bush is the kind of person I would like to sit down with for dinner and chat with.”

Have you read Laura Bush’s book?

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PERMANENCY FOR OUR FOSTER BABY

Wednesday is a big day! We have been invited to the permanency conference for our 10-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit.  A permanency conference is a meeting that the State holds to discuss a plan for permanency for a foster child with the involved parties.

The first permanency conference is held when a child is first removed, where the plan for permanent placement is almost always reunification with the parents. In this meeting, everything the parent has to do to be reunited with their children is discussed with all the tasks spelled out for them.

Another is held later, especially if the parent has not complied with the permanency plan. My husband and I showed up for one with another foster child, where the case worker didn’t think we should attend and sent us on our way since the State was going to discuss terminating the mother’s parental rights. (She had disappeared for a month and a half on a drug binge)

Remember, our strange day in court last month, where we showed up expecting a hearing on whether or not the baby stays with us or moves to his great-aunt’s home? With the CASA and baby’s ad litem attorney pushing for a familial placement with the great-aunt, we were preparing to pack the baby’s things and say good-bye. We were shocked when the recommendation from the State and CASA was for the baby to remain with us until another hearing in September!

However, last week, through our attorney, I received the status report from the State on this case. The State is moving for terminating the mother’s parental rights!  We had no idea!  The mother is mentally-challenged and recently moved back in with her abusive grandmother. She has lived in 4 places in 6 months.

Another important thing we learned from the status report is that there is a cousin wanting custody of Lil Bit.

A list of those in line for Lil Bit:

  • Lil Bit’s great-aunt – barely passed home study due to previous investigations, but State and others are recommending this familial placement for Lil Bit
  • US – foster parents for most of the 10 months of Lil Bit’s life
  • The Cons – has Lil Bit’s 5 other siblings and is collecting a disability check on ALL of them (actually told State investigator that they would get Lil Bit by buying the mother “a shiny, new cell phone”)
  • AND NOW, A COUSIN HAS COME OUT OF THE WOOD WORK!!!
Where were these family members with the last 5 children the mother lost custody of ?
Please say a quick prayer for us Wednesday morning!
“And we know that all things God work together for good to those who love God” – Romans 8:28
Here’s a picture I recently took of our Lil Bit with my 12-year-old puppy that suffers from ADHD/OCD.
Check out the other pet photos at iheartfaces.

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FOSTER BABY 9 , I mean, 10 MONTHS OLD TODAY!

Lil Bit is 9 10 months old today!  But we may have to rename Lil Bit to Lil Chunk. He weighs nearly 23 pounds! Our nearly 3-year-old, Stinkpot, weighs only 29 pounds. He is 9 10 months old today and most of his 12-month clothes are too small!  He only wore these 12-month clothes for 1 month! I guess I’ll get up into the attic next weekend…

Did any of your kids grow this fast???

Update on Lil Bit’s case — We received a notice for a permanency conference in 2 weeks. We have no idea what this is about. Our guess is maybe the State is moving toward terminating the mother’s rights, or it could be that the State wants to discuss how to protect Lil Bit if he is moved to his great-aunt’s home.  We received a notice of discovery from the mother’s attorney so it might be the former.

Lil Bit’s new case worker will return to the office on Monday so we will invite her to visit our home so that we can meet her and possibly learn more about the status.

Y’all have a great weekend with your family!
Hugs!
p.s. I had to correct the blog this morning, as my wonderful husband so gently reminded me that Lil Bit is 10 months old today and not 9 months old as I had previously posted…you know, I am an Aggie.

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HOW TO BE THANKFUL WHEN A FOSTER CHILD MOVES

“Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.” James 1:27 Our hectic life has caused a lot of stress lately. Also, the behaviors of our 12-year-old foster girl have taken its toll on us. She has taken things and we have caught her time and again in lies. She cannot handle discipline, and the consequences of her actions can send her into an emotional meltdown. She recently ran away after being grounded (on an evening I was out of town) and my husband had to call the police. She realizes now that decision was a mistake.

However, we’ve begun to notice that she has been bullying our 2-year-old little boy. She always does it in another room where we can’t see, but Stinkpot will come out of his room crying that “She hit me”. We’ve never actually witnessed it, but it happens at least once on most days. When I discovered that she had a history of being rough with little kids, my husband and I decided that a move might be best for her and us as a family.
After talking with our foster home worker, she agreed that a move would be best and now our foster girl will be moved this morning. My emotions run from partial relief to guilt to sadness. Because the new home is a potential adoptive home, she is taking it quite well.

So on this Thursday, I’m thankful that:

  • We were able to provide a stable home for her after a failed adoption
  • A more suitable foster home has been found for her with no little kids and in the country to deter her from running away
  • This new foster home may lead to a forever home for a girl abandoned by her mother
Please pray for all of us this week during this transition!

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TOP TEN DOCTOR VISITS SINCE I’VE HAD KIDS

Having kids totally changed my life!  As a foster parent, it changes with one phone call. (see my first call to foster)  We have had more than our fair share of doctor visits and even hospital stays.  The most recent – last week…

Oh Amanda is hosting a weekly Top Ten Tuesday, so I thought that this week I would list some of my most memorable visits to health care professionals in the last couple of years.

Before I list this Top Ten – let me first introduce you to the cast of characters:

  • Bubba (hey we ARE in Texas) – my teenage stepson
  • Stinkpot – our 2-yr-old that we adopted through foster care
  • Lil Bit – our 9-month-old foster baby

Without further ado – MY TOP TEN DOCTOR VISITS SINCE I’VE HAD KIDS

    1. My broken toe – Okay, not a doctor visit for the kids, but I did break my toe as my kids rode on my lap down a water slide the day of Stinkpot’s adoption.
    2. Bubba’s 3-day EEG after having a seizure at school – He was taped up like a lobotomy patient so that the wires would stay glued on his head. Quite a sight!  Lots of stares!  He showed up for his first day of work at McDonald’s like this – he was obviously sent home! This very expensive test gave no indication of the cause of his seizures. He has another one scheduled next month.  This time we will buy him a new video game to “beat” and allow him to stay up as long as he wants. [his previous seizures occurred after spending a weekend at his mom’s unstructured home life]
    3. Stinkpot’s first stay in the hospital – This 3-day visit was so frightening. First because the onset was so SUDDEN (crawling 1 minute then he couldn’t wake up). The doctors first thought it was meningitis -there had been a few cases in the area- I hated watching the spinal tap -thankfully not meningitis. Second, since the chest x-ray was clear for 2 days, the doctors were thinking something much more serious, like leukemia. On the 3rd day the chest x-ray showed pneumonia. He finally recovered and was sent home, but we were physically and emotionally exhausted!
    4. Stinkpot’s 2nd stay in the hospital for pneumonia – At a doctor visit for high fever, his oxygen level had dropped down to 82% and he was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance.  He LOVED it! He enjoyed the gurney ride as much as a buggy ride and was grinning and waving at everyone with the oxygen mask on him.
    5. Stinkpot’s visit to the pediatric pulmonologist – After 2 hospital stays, the insurance company actually contacted me to discuss Stinkpot’s breathing problems.  The insurance company wanted me to take him to an allergist; however, an allergist would not see him until he was at least 4 years old. So the insurance company suggested a pediatric pulmonologist. Stinkpot’s primary care physician wouldn’t give me a referral so I had to have the insurance company contact the doctor to get this done.  The pulmonologist looked at his chest x-ray and said that his chest was so full of fluid that he would be diagnosed with pneumonia again if he was running a fever (he wasn’t). The pulmonologist put him on a regimen of Singulair, Nasonex, and Zyrtec – he hasn’t been sick since!!!!
    6. Lil Bit’s 1st stay in the hospital
    7. Lil Bit’s 1st visit to the ER
    8. Lil Bit’s 2nd stay in the hospital for bronchialitis
    9. My allergic reaction to the flu shot
Impetigo
    1. Last week’s doctor visit for Lil Bit’s impetigo – a mosquito bite on Saturday evening gradually got worse and was oozing pus by the next evening.  Impetigo is a staph infection – the worst part is that when I saw this picture I realized that the baby got it from ME!!!  I thought the rash was another reaction from the flu shot.  After seeing how quickly that mosquito bite turned bad, I can see now how it can be deadly in a hospital setting.
    2. Honorable mention goes to LICE! Even though there was no doctor visit, I had 2 kids taken out of school until we got rid of those critters.  Although it doesn’t really belong on this list…I’d rather catch vomit on me than deal with lice again. That was the absolute WORST!!!

Y’all have a great week staying HEALTHY!!!!
Hugs!

I’m Clever

Sway