Foster2Forever

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My First Time!

I made CHICKEN FRIED STEAK!!!
All by myself!
From SCRATCH!!!
I have always believed that this was a dish that could only be made at a restaurant.
I didn’t think normal people could make this –
I was so intimidated & never even thought about EVER making it myself.But with a little help from The Pioneer Woman
& her new book “Pioneer Woman Cooks: Recipes from an Accidental Country Girl“.

I DID IT!!! And not only was it actually edible – it actually tasted quite delicious!
(The only thing about recipes is that they always tell you to fry meat for only a few minutes –
mine is NEVER cooked inside after just a few minutes so adjust the recipe accordingly)

If you go to The Pioneer Woman’s website, be sure & read her love story & how she fell in love w/ Marlboro Man – it’s very entertaining!

I can somewhat relate since I moved from a city of 4 million to a town of 1400
after I met (reconnected) with my special man…

Oh, and guess what else – I took this picture of our meal!! Yeah, me!
With my new SLR camera – still learning how to use all these buttons –
But WOW! I amaze myself with these pictures!
Let me know of any books, websites, etc. that will help me as I learn to use this blasted thing!Have a great week doing something that you love
& don’t be afraid to try something new!

Hugs to you all!

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UPDATE on Lil Bit…Part 2 (Our Day in Court)

Foster parents usually don’t have “standing” in a custody hearing on foster children unless the child has been in the foster home for at least a year.
[“Standing mean that you have a legal case in court.
If you don’t have standing, your case is dismissed.]
Here we are about to “intervene” in the custodial placement of Lil Bit, our 6-month-old foster baby, into the home of a distant relative. A foster family “intervening” in a family placement is pretty much unheard of in our area.

However, this is an unusual case in that another family also tried to intervene in Lil Bit’s placement with the distant relative. All of Lil Bit’s 5 siblings have previously been adopted by a friend of his birth mother. This family friend also intervened and requested standing in court.

Lil Bit’s birth mother was supporting him going to live with this family and his 5 siblings (along with the many other children in the home)
instead of with her family member.

However, Children Protective Services (CPS), the baby’s ad litem attorney, the Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for the baby, ALL objected to their intervention. Their case for standing was quickly dismissed with these objections and because they had not met Lil Bit.

At this point, there was no objection to our standing in this case.
(WE’RE IN!!!)

Now that the birth mother’s friend wouldn’t get Lil Bit, the mother asked her attorney to meet me. Our attorneys awkwardly agreed. When we were introduced, I gave her pictures I had taken of Lil Bit in the 2 months he had lived with us. Looking through the photos, she wiped away tears from her face. She decided to now support us instead of her family member in this custody hearing. (Strange, isn’t it? Sadly, I believe it demonstrates a deep dysfunction in the family)

Also, in our favor, there was doubt of whether Lil Bit would be able to receive government benefits in the near future since he was born in Mexico. Since we are financially able to provide for him with our income, the CASA and ad litem attorney now supported Lil Bit staying with us.

So now we are in court asking that our foster baby stay in our home and not go live with a distant relative. The baby’s mother, ad litem attorney and CASA all support Lil Bit staying with us.
Then, there is CPS policy…

The CPS policy is, if possible, children are placed with family members –
However, since CPS is the only party not supporting the baby staying with us, they had to call state headquarters to see if they could officially support the baby staying with us. If so, then there would be a consensus of all the parties that Lil Bit stay with us and we could all go home without a hearing.

So there we are in court –
waiting –
tic tock, tic tock –
$4 a minute in attorney fees…

45 minutes later we finally get the official answer from Austin.
CPS policy is always family first.

The judge then granted a continuance and our custody hearing is now set for another day.

Please pray for us – we need strength, courage and faith that “all things work together for good.”

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UPDATE on Lil Bit…Part 1

My last writing on our now 6-month old foster baby, he was in the hospital with RSV & we were to give him to a relative on the 9th. It has been a whirlwind since!!!

Lil Bit was admitted to the hospital on February 2nd – Groundhog Day, no less – for RSV. My wonderful husband and I took turns staying/spending the night at the hospital. (An adult has to stay with an infant at all times)

Already emotionally & physically exhausted, I received all the legal paperwork discussing Lil Bit, his birth family, & the home study of a family member. Instead of being placed with his 5 siblings & other children, the home study recommended that Lil Bit be placed with his great-aunt. (don’t freak out – she’s younger than us at 33 years young!) As I read the home study & how they already had a room ready for Lil Bit, I began to cry. This baby has a family that loves him & wants him! He has 12-year-old & 7-year-old cousins that are excited about having a baby in their home. Who are we to get in the way of that?

I spent Thursday night in the hospital alone with Lil Bit saying my goodbyes to the little man & sleeping very little. (Can you hear the violins softly playing in the background?)

On Friday morning, my knight in shining armor that I married 5 years ago, comes into the gloomy hospital room & tells me that he wants to meet with our attorney. “I just want to hear what the attorney has to say” were the words he repeated to me.

Later that morning, I received a conference call from the law firm – my husband & TWO attorneys. Some of the things discussed:

  • Great-aunt cannot financially take care of Lil Bit without government assistance;
  • An arrest of great-uncle for violence years ago;
  • Lil Bit has lived with only the mother & us;
  • We have had Lil Bit for 1/3 of his life;
  • We have the financial capability to take care of Lil Bit long term;
  • Final adoption of Lil Bit is uncertain – other family members may be located;
  • This may cost up to $15K in legal fees!

So much to digest in one call & a really tough, expensive decision to make!
I was both excited & shocked when my frugal knight in shining armour told me –
“LET’S GO FOR IT!!!”
….to be continued….
Hugs until then!
~penny

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All By Myself!


Stinkpot is such a strong-willed 2-year-old!
He is DETERMINED to dress himself with NO help from anyone!

Even if he winds up wearing a SKIRT with a BUSTLE!!!

Have a great week with your family! 

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YES, IT DOES GET WORSE!

What a week!

I am still very nervous about what going to happen to Lil Bit, our 5-month-old foster baby. His case worker called me last Friday to tell me that they were going to send Lil Bit to the family member that has his other 5 siblings.

Since then, I have spoken with our attorney, and it all comes down to whether we, as foster parents, have standing for a court case. Foster parents can ask a judge to be considered as an option for placement if the child has lived with them for a year. Even though Lil Bit has lived with us less than 2 months – he has lived with us for 20% of his short life. But that doesn’t hold up in court.

We will have to prove that placing Lil Bit with the family member will possibly “endanger or otherwise cause harm” to him. Did I mention that, as I understand it, this family member has 6 children of their own? I know that the State is not recommending this placement; however, the family member does have an attorney & is requesting a sibling placement. I am meeting with our attorney tomorrow.

The worst part of all this is that I took Lil Bit to the doctor on Tuesday because he was getting a cough – and, turns out he has RSV! He was admitted to the hospital & is in isolation! I’m thankful I went ahead and took him before he had gotten worse! He has been doing well in that he is still getting plenty of oxygen; however, he has been fighting a fever & severe congestion.

Please keep Lil Bit and our family in your prayers!

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THE DOWNSIDE OF BEING A FOSTER PARENT

We have been so blessed as foster parents to have such beautiful, wonderful foster children! It has been “pure joy” to open our home to neglected children. But now comes the hard part – I received a call today that CPS has found a home with a distant relative for our 5-month-old precious baby boy that we’ve been fostering for the last month and a half.

The toughest part emotionally has to be that since CPS did not foresee any family members for this baby, we were asked, “Do you want to keep him?” Anticipating his membership into our family, we have been searching for a name to fit this beautiful dark-haired, blue-eyed baby and had decided on a combination of family names. (Another “J” name for another boy which means God rescues & a middle name to honor my husband’s late uncle that passed away before we started dating)

I don’t blame anyone. I can totally understand why someone would want this beautiful creation. He is so perfect! He only cries when he’s wet or hungry and now only wakes once during the night. Did I mention that he is BEAUTIFUL???

I’m extremely disappointed and have contacted our attorney to see if we have any say at all. Right now I’m feeling quite nervous and have butterflies the size of 737s in my stomach. I know, however, as the impending date of February 9th draws closer, losing this little angel will become more difficult to deal with.

Until then, I must focus on being the best parent I can be for this child and the others in our home.

Romans 8:28 “all things work together for good to those who love God…”

I will keep you posted as more details unfold…

Hugs to you!
-penelope

Read more about our adventures in fostering by clicking the fostering label.

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COMING HOME – IN HIS PLAN

Within the last 2 weeks, 2 of my dear friends lost close family members. It is by God’s grace & guiding hand that He has shown me that by coming home, I was able to share in their grief. Coming home was in His plan all along!

When I left for college in 1988, I really didn’t think I would ever return. After graduating from college, I moved to a big city of 4 million. I fell in love with all the excitement & activities that the big city had to offer. I became a bonefide “CITY GIRL” and loved my life there for over 15 years.

After a whirlwind long-distance courtship, I eloped & married a wonderful godly man that I had been close friends with during my youth. Soon afterward, I left a city of 4 million to move to a town of 1400 so that my new husband could remain an integral part of his 12-year-old son’s life.

In this small town, I missed the big city and my friends I left behind. Because I was a little over an hour from where I grew up, I was able to reconnect with old friends, albiet on a limited scale.

After a year of small town life, both my husband and I longed for the convenience of a city. We began to plan for our return “HOME”. I had been gone from Central Texas nearly 19 years and, although my husband did not grow up in the area, he had lived in Central Texas for nearly 20 years, so it had become “home” for him as well.

Since our move nearly 3 years ago, I have personally lost 4 family members and have watched as close friends have tragically lost family members as well. By coming home, I have been able to personally share condolences and hopefully give comfort to my friends and family. I wouldn’t have been able to do this living away in the big city.

Looking back, I can see God’s guiding hand in my life to bring me home. Proverbs 16:9 says “a man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps.” As a single girl in the big city, I never thought I would ever leave big city life; however, the husband God chose for me determined the steps to bring me back home to my roots.

Thank you, Lord, for having plans to give me hope and a future that I NEVER expected! (Jeremiah 29:11) I love the fabulous life you have given me!!!!

Hugs to you!
~penny
http://txpenelope.blogspot.com/

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On Becoming a Foster Parent

This has been an exciting few weeks! On Tuesday, December 15th, I received a call from CPS asking if we would accept a 4-month-old baby boy to foster. Of course, I said, “YES!” I picked him up an hour later. He is so beautiful & such a good baby! I AM SO BLESSED!

Because the child’s mother has had numerous children removed before & has already had her parental rights terminated, he will be eligible for adoption after all the legal stuff has been completed.

I’ve had a number of people asking me about foster parenting & how difficult the process is. It actually isn’t that difficult to become a foster parent. Our licensing was more complex because we were in the middle of moving to a different county during the process, but overall, the process wasn’t too bad. We are licensed through our state agency as both a foster & adoptive home.

  • The first step is to attend an informational meeting. There are a number being held Tuesday, January 12th in the evening in Houston, Austin, Bryan & Waco. Check HERE for details. This is very informal, but for some reason, attending this meeting is required before moving forward in the process.
  • Next, you would attend a 35-hour parent education training, called PRIDE (short for Parent Resource Information Development Education). Our classes met twice a week for a few hours each evening. Before each class, we had to bring “homework”, which actually were documents required for our homestudy, such as identification, family profile/background form, home layout, desired children profile form, & scheduling FBI fingerprinting, etc. This helped keep the documentation process less cumbersome.
  • You will also need CPR/First Aid training, a home fire inspection (local fire dept) & a home health inspection. (We completed our CPR training at our jobs.)
  • Lastly, a home study will be conducted by a caseworker that will come to your home and interview everyone in the home. For us, scheduling the caseworker took the longest because we lived in a rural county 40 minutes from Bryan. When she finally came, we had already closed on our house & were in the process of moving. We had already boxed up a lot, given away our sofa & had to sit in the dining room for the interviews.

The cost of becoming licensed with the state agency has been minimal with the FBI fingerprinting costing around $50 per person. [Anyone over the age of 18 living in the home will have to be fingerprinted. My stepson will have to be fingerprinted SOON!] We also had to purchase a fire extinguisher for the home.

I hope this post gives you the information you need. If you are remotely interested, I encourage you to attend the informational meeting next week.

James 1:27 says that we are to reach out to orphans & widows in their distress.

Let me know if there’s anything else you’d like to know!

God bless & hugs to you all!
~penelope

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New Year’s Resolutions/Goals for 2010

Resolutions seem to go away the first week, but here are some goals I’d like to accomplish in 2010. Wish me luck & lots of prayer!

Spiritual
*Read the Old Testament – all of it – in chronological order. I found this really great One Year Chronological Bible at Mardel’s for $15. It is organized chronologically, which is really helping me with putting all the great Bible stories together how they happened. It’s like reading a great novel!

Family
*Provide a safe, loving Christian home to all my sons. My stepson graduates in May. Stinkpot, my very strong-willed toddler is a disciplinary challenge. We hope to adopt our foster baby boy sometime in 2010. (If you’d like information on fostering or adopting children in Texas – attend an informational meeting in your area.)

Homelife
*Get organized (somehow!) with cleaning, cooking & raising preschoolers while working full-time. I’m going to have to try this FlyLady thing again. To help with meal planning, I purchased this computer program –Dinner is Ready: 30 Meals in One Day – that I like alot. It puts together your menus & shopping lists by clicking on the recipes you like – you can even add your own recipes. Now to find the time to do the grocery shopping & cooking…(p.s. so far I have only been able to get this program to work on our PC with Microsoft xp, but not with Vista)

Personal
*Run the 5k in the Komen Central Texas Race for the Cure on April 24th. I have already begun training on the treadmill at work, but yesterday, I threw out my back…ug! Have any of you participated before?

Community
*Fight cancer in Central Texas by raising $15,000 for the Community Cancer Association at our first Quarters for Cancer event on Saturday, March 27th at Richland Mall. Anyone want to help or volunteer?

What are your goals/resolutions for 2010? Am I being too ambitious?

Hugs to you all!

I’m Clever

Sway