Foster2Forever

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When a Lawyer Calls

Remember that movie When A Stranger Calls?  The memorable line was “The call is coming from inside your house!“phone

In our foster care version, the movie is titled: When a Lawyer Calls, which has the tag line: “The call is coming from inside your bank account!”

Our attorney didn’t actually call, he just sent an email, but it costs the same. ($60)

He had forwarded a long string of State emails sent to him by the baby’s ad litem attorney.

As far as I could make out, the emails stated that our foster baby will be put on a waiting list to receive his U.S. citizenship certification. This process through U.S. Immigration could take a number of months, which shouldn’t surprise anyone.

Our attorney, Mr. MoneyBags, wants to meet today to discuss how this will play out in tomorrow’s termination hearing.

To follow along as events unfold –
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http://twitter.com/foster2forever

Also, today check out The Lark’s Nest Mama Mania Monday! I’m one of the Mamas discussing foster care!!!

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The Case of the Missing Birth Father

What do you do when a birth parent can’t be found? Can their parental rights automatically be terminated?

Lil Bit’s birth father is missing. All we know is that he is somewhere in Mexico. The State has been working with the Mexican consulate to locate the father; however, the dad has a fairly common name. For example, imagine trying to find an “Eduardo Hernandez” somewhere in Mexico.

Gavel

Photo courtesy of walknboston on Flickr

Termination of parental rights is scheduled for next week; however, the baby’s ad litem attorney is concerned.  Last week, she called a special hearing in order to discuss this matter with the judge.  After making numerous changes to our family’s schedules, I was able to make it to the hearing.

Our less-expensive attorney (at only $200 per hour) is waiting as I walk up to the courthouse.

“Bad news. The docket is overflowing from this morning and there is no telling how long it will be before this case goes before the judge.”

Oh great! ($200 times all afternoon equals a butt-load of money!!!)

We go inside and take a seat in the courtroom. Strangely, the judge comes out and as everyone is standing, he says, “No, no, you can remain sitting.” At this point, my attorney excuses himself.

A few minutes later, as others are squeezing into the bench beside me, our attorney comes up to me and nudges me to follow him outside.

After making our way out the door into the hall, he tells me that he and the ad litem had already met with the judge in his chambers.  Apparently, the judge addressed the ad litem’s concerns by appointing an attorney to represent the birth father’s interests – an attorney to represent the birth father’s empty chair at the termination hearing still scheduled for next week.

Let’s hope this new attorney doesn’t request a continuance….

Thanks to Danni for the support. She is currently enrolled in online social work courses and spends her free time as a nanny and volunteer at the
local food bank.

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Inefficiency in Foster Care Court Hearings

Sometimes the court hearings for foster children are a complete waste of time. The so-called status hearings anyway…

“Nothing has changed, your honor, since the last hearing six months ago.” I guess it’s a necessary part of the process to make sure no child gets lost in the foster care system.
Miami County Fair 2008 - Miami County Scene Category
However, last Friday, I received an email from our attorney ($60 to be billed later) stating that there is a status hearing for our 18-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit, scheduled for Tuesday, and we should plan to attend.

I shouldn’t have a problem with this, should I? But I do…

Here’s my problem:  The final termination hearing is scheduled for two weeks later!  Why have 2 hearings?

I’m sending an email back to my attorney (another $60 plus) to request that the status hearing be postponed until the final hearing.

Sounds reasonable, right?

If you’d like to keep up with this drama in real time, you can “like” Foster2Forever on Facebook or “follow” Foster2Forever on Twitter.

Hugs! ~penelope

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UPDATE on Lil Bit…Part 2 (Our Day in Court)

Foster parents usually don’t have “standing” in a custody hearing on foster children unless the child has been in the foster home for at least a year.
[“Standing mean that you have a legal case in court.
If you don’t have standing, your case is dismissed.]
Here we are about to “intervene” in the custodial placement of Lil Bit, our 6-month-old foster baby, into the home of a distant relative. A foster family “intervening” in a family placement is pretty much unheard of in our area.

However, this is an unusual case in that another family also tried to intervene in Lil Bit’s placement with the distant relative. All of Lil Bit’s 5 siblings have previously been adopted by a friend of his birth mother. This family friend also intervened and requested standing in court.

Lil Bit’s birth mother was supporting him going to live with this family and his 5 siblings (along with the many other children in the home)
instead of with her family member.

However, Children Protective Services (CPS), the baby’s ad litem attorney, the Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for the baby, ALL objected to their intervention. Their case for standing was quickly dismissed with these objections and because they had not met Lil Bit.

At this point, there was no objection to our standing in this case.
(WE’RE IN!!!)

Now that the birth mother’s friend wouldn’t get Lil Bit, the mother asked her attorney to meet me. Our attorneys awkwardly agreed. When we were introduced, I gave her pictures I had taken of Lil Bit in the 2 months he had lived with us. Looking through the photos, she wiped away tears from her face. She decided to now support us instead of her family member in this custody hearing. (Strange, isn’t it? Sadly, I believe it demonstrates a deep dysfunction in the family)

Also, in our favor, there was doubt of whether Lil Bit would be able to receive government benefits in the near future since he was born in Mexico. Since we are financially able to provide for him with our income, the CASA and ad litem attorney now supported Lil Bit staying with us.

So now we are in court asking that our foster baby stay in our home and not go live with a distant relative. The baby’s mother, ad litem attorney and CASA all support Lil Bit staying with us.
Then, there is CPS policy…

The CPS policy is, if possible, children are placed with family members –
However, since CPS is the only party not supporting the baby staying with us, they had to call state headquarters to see if they could officially support the baby staying with us. If so, then there would be a consensus of all the parties that Lil Bit stay with us and we could all go home without a hearing.

So there we are in court –
waiting –
tic tock, tic tock –
$4 a minute in attorney fees…

45 minutes later we finally get the official answer from Austin.
CPS policy is always family first.

The judge then granted a continuance and our custody hearing is now set for another day.

Please pray for us – we need strength, courage and faith that “all things work together for good.”

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UPDATE on Lil Bit…Part 1

My last writing on our now 6-month old foster baby, he was in the hospital with RSV & we were to give him to a relative on the 9th. It has been a whirlwind since!!!

Lil Bit was admitted to the hospital on February 2nd – Groundhog Day, no less – for RSV. My wonderful husband and I took turns staying/spending the night at the hospital. (An adult has to stay with an infant at all times)

Already emotionally & physically exhausted, I received all the legal paperwork discussing Lil Bit, his birth family, & the home study of a family member. Instead of being placed with his 5 siblings & other children, the home study recommended that Lil Bit be placed with his great-aunt. (don’t freak out – she’s younger than us at 33 years young!) As I read the home study & how they already had a room ready for Lil Bit, I began to cry. This baby has a family that loves him & wants him! He has 12-year-old & 7-year-old cousins that are excited about having a baby in their home. Who are we to get in the way of that?

I spent Thursday night in the hospital alone with Lil Bit saying my goodbyes to the little man & sleeping very little. (Can you hear the violins softly playing in the background?)

On Friday morning, my knight in shining armor that I married 5 years ago, comes into the gloomy hospital room & tells me that he wants to meet with our attorney. “I just want to hear what the attorney has to say” were the words he repeated to me.

Later that morning, I received a conference call from the law firm – my husband & TWO attorneys. Some of the things discussed:

  • Great-aunt cannot financially take care of Lil Bit without government assistance;
  • An arrest of great-uncle for violence years ago;
  • Lil Bit has lived with only the mother & us;
  • We have had Lil Bit for 1/3 of his life;
  • We have the financial capability to take care of Lil Bit long term;
  • Final adoption of Lil Bit is uncertain – other family members may be located;
  • This may cost up to $15K in legal fees!

So much to digest in one call & a really tough, expensive decision to make!
I was both excited & shocked when my frugal knight in shining armour told me –
“LET’S GO FOR IT!!!”
….to be continued….
Hugs until then!
~penny

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YES, IT DOES GET WORSE!

What a week!

I am still very nervous about what going to happen to Lil Bit, our 5-month-old foster baby. His case worker called me last Friday to tell me that they were going to send Lil Bit to the family member that has his other 5 siblings.

Since then, I have spoken with our attorney, and it all comes down to whether we, as foster parents, have standing for a court case. Foster parents can ask a judge to be considered as an option for placement if the child has lived with them for a year. Even though Lil Bit has lived with us less than 2 months – he has lived with us for 20% of his short life. But that doesn’t hold up in court.

We will have to prove that placing Lil Bit with the family member will possibly “endanger or otherwise cause harm” to him. Did I mention that, as I understand it, this family member has 6 children of their own? I know that the State is not recommending this placement; however, the family member does have an attorney & is requesting a sibling placement. I am meeting with our attorney tomorrow.

The worst part of all this is that I took Lil Bit to the doctor on Tuesday because he was getting a cough – and, turns out he has RSV! He was admitted to the hospital & is in isolation! I’m thankful I went ahead and took him before he had gotten worse! He has been doing well in that he is still getting plenty of oxygen; however, he has been fighting a fever & severe congestion.

Please keep Lil Bit and our family in your prayers!

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THE DOWNSIDE OF BEING A FOSTER PARENT

We have been so blessed as foster parents to have such beautiful, wonderful foster children! It has been “pure joy” to open our home to neglected children. But now comes the hard part – I received a call today that CPS has found a home with a distant relative for our 5-month-old precious baby boy that we’ve been fostering for the last month and a half.

The toughest part emotionally has to be that since CPS did not foresee any family members for this baby, we were asked, “Do you want to keep him?” Anticipating his membership into our family, we have been searching for a name to fit this beautiful dark-haired, blue-eyed baby and had decided on a combination of family names. (Another “J” name for another boy which means God rescues & a middle name to honor my husband’s late uncle that passed away before we started dating)

I don’t blame anyone. I can totally understand why someone would want this beautiful creation. He is so perfect! He only cries when he’s wet or hungry and now only wakes once during the night. Did I mention that he is BEAUTIFUL???

I’m extremely disappointed and have contacted our attorney to see if we have any say at all. Right now I’m feeling quite nervous and have butterflies the size of 737s in my stomach. I know, however, as the impending date of February 9th draws closer, losing this little angel will become more difficult to deal with.

Until then, I must focus on being the best parent I can be for this child and the others in our home.

Romans 8:28 “all things work together for good to those who love God…”

I will keep you posted as more details unfold…

Hugs to you!
-penelope

Read more about our adventures in fostering by clicking the fostering label.

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