Foster2Forever

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Why Every Foster Parent Needs Sexual Abuse Training

Foster parents need sexual abuse training:

She was only 7 years old when Child Protective Services brought her to our foster home. As a matter of fact, CPS removed the child from her family due to hard drug use and violence in the home. CPS had no knowledge of sexual abuse.

However, I began noticing odd behaviors quickly after placement. The 7-year-old would defecate every time she took a bath. She would covertly brush her hand across the lap of any males in the home. She would search for the word “sex” on Netflix. At one point, she even patted my thigh in a manner that made me uncomfortable. AT 7 YEARS OLD!

It quickly became obvious to me that someone had sexually abused this 2nd grader.

Sexual abuse statistics

Sadly, foster parents discover that a child in care has been sexually abused. According to the US Department of Health & Human Services’ Child Maltreatment Survey, in 2016, child protective services removed over 57,000 children for sexual abuse. This number is much higher as these are only the known, reported cases.

Sexual abuse is especially rampant for children from backgrounds of neglect and other traumas. Especially, when parents are using illicit drugs. Given that, the lack of supervision and the associated transient lifestyle in drug culture puts children especially at risk for sexual abuse.

Along with that, another statistic states that children from single-parent homes are 20 times more likely to be sexually abused.

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Sexual abuse training for foster parents

All foster parents need this foster care training on sexual abuse. That’s why I felt it was imperative that the Adoption HEART Conference included a session on sexual abuse training. Sexual abuse changes a child’s perceptions of themselves, plus affects their self value.

This sexual abuse training session covers various facets of sexual abuse and the sexualized child, including:

  • what is normal sexual exploration,
  • what triggers sexual behavior,
  • how the fear response affects a child’s behavior, but mostly
  • the importance of how an adult’s history affects the way they respond to the sexualized child.

Sign up for this free online training here.

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Would You Adopt a Special Needs Child in Foster Care?

We are The Burdick Family. We have fostered 12 years and have adopted six children who would otherwise have gone into foster care or could not reunify, making us a family of twelve. Our kids ages are 27, 25, 23, 21, 15, 14, 12, 5, 3, and 3.

Our fostering journey began 15 years ago. After starting foster care classes and learning just how hard it can be — “we could never fit as foster parents!” We dropped out of the classes; however, in that process, we submitted an application to adopt with a local ministry.

Within a week, the agency called us about adopting a special-needs baby. The mother was in an amazing and supportive foster family but decided that private adoption was best for her child. When she gave her son to our family, she also gave herself to us as a daughter!

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Special Needs in Foster Care

A year later, the agency called again about adopting another special-needs baby who would have gone into foster care otherwise.

Three years later, his cousin was in foster care. The agency asked us to become licensed to become foster parents. We completed our licensing requirements and our son’s cousin came live with us at three months old.

Since then, we have fostered many babies — several were able to return home, and those who didn’t, we committed to adopt.

The last three, almost four, years, we had three medically-fragile babies, all needing g-tubes; each kiddo with their own unique journey.

Today, our 5-year-old forever child is g-tube free, and attending kindergarten.
Both our three-year-old sons are, too, off their g-tubes, attending preschool, and as healthy as can be.

The journey has had many ups and downs, but overall and without a doubt, we would do it all again to have the privilege of loving children from hard places.

We had amazing support from other foster families as well as our immediate family and friends. Our older four children have grown in compassion and love all their younger siblings.

12 Tips for Fostering a Special Needs Child

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RAD in Foster Care – How Hard It Can Be!

Reactive Attachment Disorder – RAD – in foster care can happen when children fail to attach to their primary caregiver early in life. Janie was 42 and Joe was 50 when two biological half-sisters, ages 3 and 5, made them foster parents in middle Tennessee. This is the foster to adopt story of their family.

The birth mom had a number of issues and already had two other children that had been adopted out. Eventually, the birth mom voluntarily relinquished her parental rights — she was unable to keep a housing, wouldn’t stay on medication, along with other issues.

5-year-old Hope had been seriously neglected and abused before she was 3-years-old. This sad child had no self-esteem — Hope believed she was not as pretty as her brown-skinned, brown-eyed biracial 3-year-old sister, Alex, with the curly locks. By the time of placement, Hope was 5 and Janie was her third mom in two years time. Trauma counseling began on Day 1 through the agency. Specialists eventually diagnosed Hope with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).

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Photo by mohamed Abdelgaffar

RAD in Foster Care

Although Janie educated herself with as many resources as she could find, parenting a child with RAD was a very difficult journey. She felt as though her child hated her much of the time and even felt that the child actually enjoyed making her life difficult. Janie struggled emotionally and sought out counseling for herself.

As much as possible, parents should be able to agree on styles. Janie and her husband did not always agree on parenting, which made things even more difficult. When it came to discipline or at least enforcing the rules, through their child’s triangulation, Janie felt like she was set to be the bad parent.

Younger sister, Alex was almost always loving and an over-achiever. Because of that, Janie did not have her in therapy initially. That is until the family hit the worst times: when Hope entered high school. Hope never fit in at school and struggled with her work and friendships. The stress of being more independent in 9th grade was too much for her — she didn’t feel safe on her own. She threatened suicide multiple times. Then she even threatened to kill the family with a knife. Janie and her husband had to take these threats seriously.

Ultimately, Hope ended up in a detention youth home,and then under state’s custody for nearly 2 years. The family felt broken apart.

Through all this, her younger sister, Alex, then went into therapy to deal with her pent-up anger at her sister. Throughout their lives, Alex had kept her anger toward her big sister inside because she felt she had to always keep it together in order to survive in the dysfunction. Alex had felt angry much of her childhood. Therapy helped her tremendously.

Finally, in the middle of her junior year, Hope was able to return to the family and things went pretty well. Hope enrolled in a different school than Alex, for both their well-being, which helped their relationship too.

Through most of the years, the family had a fabulous support service, through Catholic Charities, called the Adoption Support and Preservation Program (ASAP). Through ASAP, the family had access to support groups and special services. The therapist came to the home and worked with Hope, and sometimes with Alex too. These services were free for the family – the Lord blessed them with so many free services; it was amazing.

If you are parenting a traumatized child, look for support services and take advantage of them – they work wonders.

Through intense therapies and the process of healing, the family survived and the girls are doing well — Janie and her husband are so proud of their daughters.

Adopted Adults with Attachment Disorder

Hope graduated high school and has held some good jobs in retail and food service. She is a hard worker and in many ways, a very caring and sweet person. Although Hope has struggled and even gone through gender issues and suicidal thoughts, she has finally settled into her life. At age 25, Hope has a healthy relationship with the father of their one year old daughter.  Hope named her daughter, Jane Nicole, after her grandmothers – Janie and the dad’s mom! What an honor – from the child whom she thought hated her!

The baby girl, Alex, is doing great now too. However, in her sophomore year of college, her issues finally slammed her.  Alex felt she had to be perfect, thinking that was the only way to be loved. Doctors diagnosed Alex with an eating disorder and anxiety. She’s been in therapy for 3 years now and will graduate college in December — as what else? A social worker!!! She grew up in that world and found her place there.

Janie admits that she made mistakes and was not the perfect mother, (Who is?) However, Janie learned just how strong she is! She never gave up on her children, always advocated for them, and worked to get what they needed. Ultimately, her daughters have become beautiful, strong, loving women.

Your job as foster and adoptive parents will not always be easy, but using all the resources you can find, you can do this!

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Foster to Adopt Stories – Adopting Siblings

Many children in foster care that are waiting for adoption are sibling sets.  By adopting siblings from foster care, Jeremy and his wife, Sarah, ensured that three brothers would not be separated from each other.

My wife, Sarah, and I have talked about adoption for the 26 years we have been together — her brother was adopted from South Korea. As a military family with constant moving between military bases, we didn’t think that we would have the stability to get through the adoption process before we would have to move again.

Adopting Siblings from Foster Care

Once I retired from the military three years ago, we finally began to actively pursue adoption. We have always had a big family so we thought that we should consider adopting siblings rather than just one child.  

We completed our initial paperwork for adoption, and then waited – for months – but weren’t matched with any sibling groups. Then we were asked if we would consider foster care.  — three brothers were in foster care but not yet legally free for adoption.  By adopting siblings from foster care, it keeps siblings from being separated and split up.  

While this route would not guarantee adoption, after much prayer and consideration, along with many questions, we said YES and welcomed the brothers into our home.

foster-care-stories-adopting-siblings Photo by amyelizabethquinn

Foster families cannot anticipate everything that will be required of them during the adoption process. We have had difficult times. There have been times when we didn’t all get along. There are many challenges that we didn’t expect along the way. But there has never been any wavering in our commitment to have these precious children as part of family.

My wife Sarah has been home with some or all of these children for 21 straight months. All day, every day. Rarely ever getting a break. She takes care of the boys, takes them to their appointments, and advocates for the services that they require. She has done all of this and still had a home to manage, other kids to raise, and is still able to find time for me. I think her day has at least 36 hours in it, but somehow, by the grace of God, she is able to make it all work. Sarah’s love is truly the glue that keeps this family together and the oil that keeps it running smoothly.

Faith in Adoption

This unrelenting commitment to these children comes from a deep place in our belief system. According to Scripture, God adopted us, Christians, as children into God’s family.

  • Having an Eternal Father I can turn to at any time for help makes me want to be that for all 7 of our children.
  • Having a Heavenly Father that has provided me with everything I need for life so I can provide for every child under my care.
  • Having a loving Father that loves unconditionally reminds me that, even when it is hard, love will never run out for these boys.

Every day, I am learning how to love my sons better.

Today, I stand in Court testifying that Dominick, Matthew, and Ronen are forever members of our family.

Today we will celebrate a milestone. These boys are legally our sons and permanently part of our family. We will take pictures, have a special meal, and celebrate this date for years to come.

Today is just another step in our journey.

  • Our journey of assimilation into a family.
  • Our journey of discovering the skills and gifts that God has put into our boys.
  • Our journey of understanding the endless love of God as we endeavor to love these children well.

Tomorrow we will keep moving, together, as a family, on this journey through life. There will be other mountains to climb, valleys to endure, and everything in between. We will make memories, make mistakes, and make-up. I will continue to love these boys with the love that God has shown to me. No matter what twists, turns, difficulties, or obstacles come along, we will always have enough love to overcome it.

We are a family.

Jeremy is the father of 4 biological children and 3 adopted sons. He and his wife, Sarah, fostered their sons for almost two years before adopting siblings.

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Can I Really Help My Adopted Child? Or Are Genes More Important Than Environment?

We have all heard that “know it all” parent say under their breath, “If that were my child they wouldn’t act like that.” You may hear it at the park, at school functions, and even at church.

Every day, parents of children with behavior problems, may ask themselves, “Am I the right parent for this child? If my child were being raised in a different home, would their behavior be different?” As an adoptive parent, I must admit that I have asked myself that question hundreds of times. I’ve felt embarrassment and shame and wondered if I was good enough to parent my difficult child.

Americans spend millions of dollars each year on books and seminars trying to find answers for their child’s behavior. Most result in little or no change. To say that the debate over “Nature vs. Nurture” is convoluted is an understatement.

Psychologist John Watson had this to say on the issue:

“Give me a dozen healthy infants, well-formed, and my own specified world to bring them up in and I’ll guarantee to take any one at random and train him to become any type of specialist I might select … regardless of his talents, penchants, tendencies, abilities, vocations and race of his ancestors.”

Any parent who has raised more than one child should find this nurture theory laughable. Every day we see children raised in the same home, taught the same morels and beliefs, turn out with totally different beliefs and convictions than those they were taught and of those of their siblings.

Moreover, as foster and adoptive parents can attest, changing the environment of a child doesn’t just take away previous trauma and neglect. A foster/adoptive parent may wonder: “How much of a child’s behavior is a response from previous trauma and how much could be from some sort of possible disorder?”

The Nature theory asserts that nearly all traits such as intelligence, personality, aggression, and sexual orientation are encoded in an individual’s genes.

Genes and Environment

According to years of genetic research on twins, Dr. Danielle Posthuma of the Neuroscience Campus in Amsterdam found that although a child may have a high genetic predisposition for a characteristic, whether physical or psychological, environment can still play a part.

However, prenatal exposure in utero is the most powerful environmental factor for foster and adopted children. Poor nutrition, drug and alcohol exposure, stress hormones of the mother, all can affect a child’s development and neurophysiology even before birth or experiencing other trauma as a child.

Dr. Posthuma’s study reported that conditions such as ADHD is 68% inherited, but environment is a factor in only 6% of cases. Surprisingly, the predisposition for cocaine addiction is 64% inherited, but environment plays only a small role (7%). Schizophrenia is 77% is inherited and only 1% due to environment (this is due to the late adolescent/early adult onset of the disorder).

Although the predisposition for behavioral/mental disorders may be passed through genes, if you were to take this theory to the extreme, one could excuse all behavior as simply a product of their genes and conclude that no one is responsible for any of their behavior.

Despite the apparent flaws in both the Nature and Nurture theories, after raising 4 children, I find myself on a daily basis leaning more to the “Nature” side of the debate.  Because of my experience and research, I lean less and less to the “Nurture” side.

Growing up in a Christian home, I believed that there was one God who controlled the universe. I believed that He was the omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent creator of everything. I believed that He loved and cared for all human life and that through prayer, our lives could be made better.

If a person believes this is true, then that same person cannot also believe that environment plays a major role in a child’s outcome. If we believe that putting a child in different home, with different parents, would create a better outcome, then we must also believe that this same God we say is in control of everything, made a mistake.

If a child would be better off in a different home, then why wouldn’t that same God put him in a different home from the beginning?

It cannot be both ways. We must either believe that a child is born with a predisposition for his behaviors and would have those behaviors no matter what.  Or we must believe that God makes mistakes.

If you are a person who believes that God is not capable of making mistakes, then you must believe that the child placed in your home is there for a purpose.

Although your child may have a high genetic predisposition for a psychological disorder, it’s not 100%. There are no guarantees that the end result will be different. (A child with sociopathic tendencies may still end up in jail).  But by giving a child the medical attention, therapies, interventions, and other help they need, your influence will make a difference in a child’s life.

This was a submitted guest post. 

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What Foster Parents Must Know About Instant Family

Instant Family is a movie specifically about foster parenting – I absolutely LOVED it!

WARNING: Instant Family is NOT a family movie!

When I mention in conversations that I’m a foster parent, what usually follows is a barrage of inquisitive questions.   How do you become a foster parent?  Why are the kids in foster care? What happened to their “real” parents?  For the most part, a majority of people don’t understand what it’s like to open your home to not only children, but to caseworkers, CASAs, inspections, etc.

The Instant Family movie will help debunk some of the mysterys and myths about what it’s really like being a foster parent.

The Instant Family movie was written by real-life foster parent Sean Anders, who wanted to show reality. The Instant Family movie follows a naive couple, Pete (Mark Wahlberg) and Ellie (Rose Byrne) through the actual complicated process of becoming foster parents.

Foster parents know that foster parenting is encased with awkwardness and the crazy emotional rollercoaster of a case, and the Instant Family movie doesn’t shy away from that truth. The awkwardness of meet-the-kids events, children you don’t know immediately moving in, the honeymoon period when all the kids are angels, the back-and-forth of a case, etc.

Foster parenting isn’t easy, and the Instant Family movie shows how hard it really is.

However, the Instant Family movie is NOT a family movie.

WHAT FOSTER PARENTS MUST KNOW ABOUT INSTANT FAMILY:

1. EXPLICIT LANGUAGE

If you are a seasoned foster parent, you already know that sometimes kids from hard places may come into your home with some extremely colorful language (no matter the age). The cast (both adults and children) use explicit language that is scattered throughout the film, including the f-word, and even the p-word. Most curse words are used only a few times.

2. SEXUAL CONTENT

Experts estimate that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before their 18th birthdays! (from Darkness to Light) This statistic is even higher for children in foster care. Although the heavy topic of sexual abuse isn’t the sexual content depicted in the Instant Family movie, the parents have to face teen sexuality. Pete and Ellie’s inability to discreetly handle the situation brings out side-splitting belly laughs. Again, this is a topic that parents of all teens in today’s digital age must broach. Learn a lesson from Pete and Ellie! 🙂

3. BIRTHFAMILY TRIGGERS

The Instant Family movie shows the reality of the rollercoaster of how a case easily can switch back and forth from adoption, to reunification, and back to adoption.  I got emotional watching the children get caught in this emotional turmoil on the screen (and I’m an adult). This particular topic could be very difficult emotionally for any child that has been in the foster care system. And even if your teen seems well-adjusted, this storyline could unearth all sorts of confusing emotions that will be hard for a young mind to process.

All this being said, I LOVED the Instant Family movie! And I encourage you to go see it with your friends.

Just remember that Instant Family is a movie for PARENTS, not children.

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Siblings Adopting Siblings – True Stories

What happens when a family can’t be adopting siblings? Saying no is a guilt-ridden decision that can affect children long-term. Keeping the biological bond through adopting siblings can help children navigate their adoptee identity together. This biological connection can help minimize adoptee grief as the children get older.

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The Smiths faced that decision. After nearly two years of being foster parents to a baby boy, the Smiths finally adopted the young boy. After his adoption, the Smith’s family felt complete.

However, nearly four years later, the Smiths received a phone call they weren’t prepared for. Their forever son had siblings that needed a home!

Their son’s sisters moved in and the Smith family had to adjust to a larger family. However, parenting a home full of traumatized children began to take its toll on the Smith family. Realizing their limitations in raising children with numerous special needs, the Smiths were distraught about disrupting the placement of the girls with their biological brother.

Mrs. Smith’s sister, Shanna, had grown extremely attached to her foster nieces, and although Shanna already had four children, she just couldn’t bare the thought of never seeing her foster nieces again. Shanna said to her husband: “Babe…..please don’t say that I’m crazy…..but I really am pretty smitten with those girls!” Shanna was shocked when her husband responded that he felt the same way!

Siblings Adopting Siblings

Shanna and her husband leaped into the foster licensing process in order to keep the girls in their family, and in constant contact with their biological brother.

The Yoder’s have now become foster parents to their foster nieces. They hope one day to become the forever home to two little girls that can grow up as cousins with their biological brother. By adopting siblings, the children will grow up with a biological connection.

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Why You MUST Sign Up for this Adoption Conference

Watch this encore presentation of the Adoption HEART Conference!!! The Adoption HEART Conference is a free online event. Free sign up here.

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As an adoptive parent, I’ve struggled with navigating the unique challenges that come with parenting traumatized children. Sure, there are some incredible conferences and trainings available to foster and adoptive parents, but I just can’t jump on a plane to attend. And even if I could, my kids do not travel well at all!

To make matters worse, most adoption conferences and trainings don’t provide childcare so that means I’d have to find sitters anyway to either stay overnight or with my rambunctious boys during the conference.

That’s why I created the Adoption HEART Conference!

To provide adoptive parents (& prospective adoptive parents) a convenient way to get the training and tools they need to effectively parent traumatized kids.

The Adoption HEART Conference is an online event so that means no travel and no childcare, plus you can watch the conference sessions at your convenience. Plus it’s free to watch during the conference! – all you have to do is sign up.

You’ll get free access to sessions with over 20 adoption experts to give you incredible insight into the mind and heart of our children from hard places.

Check out these incredible sessions:

Replacing Your Child’s Fear with Love: Powerful Strategies to Stop Difficult Behavior

Bryan Post

Growing Up White: An Open Discussion with a Transracial Adoptee

Rhonda Roorda

How to Choose Which Adoption is Best for Your Family

Dawn Davenport (of CreatingAFamily.org)

What You Might Not Know About Birthmother Grief & Loss

Ashley Mitchell (birthmother of BigToughGirl.com)

What They Don’t Tell You About International Adoption

Sharla Kostelyk (of ChaosAndTheClutter.com)

How to Choose Which Adoption is Best for Your Family

Lori Holden (of LavenderLuz.com)

From Adoptee to Adoptive Parent: Overcoming Your Past to Parent Traumatized Children

Jillian Lauren (New York Times bestselling author)

What Parents MUST Know About Adoptee Identity, Grief & Loss

Sherrie Eldridge (author, adult adoptee)

Seeing Trauma through Your Child’s Eyes: Tips from a Former Foster Kid

Chadwick Sapenter (former foster youth)

What Really Happens to Kids Who Age Out of Foster Care & What You Can Do About It

Gianna Dahlia (Executive Director of TogetherWeRise.org)

How Attachment Has More to Do with YOU than Your Child

Marshall Lyles (of the Center for Relational Care)

How to Recognize Prenatal Exposure & Its Complex Effects on Your Adopted Child

Melissa Fredin (of Minnesota Organization on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome)

It’s Not Behavior, It’s Neurological: How Trauma Imbalances Your Child’s Brain

Dr. Rob Melillo (of Brain Balance Centers)

How Compassion Fatigue & Secondary Trauma Can Unknowingly Invade Foster & Adoptive Families

Amy Sugeno (trauma therapist)

How to Integrate Two Parenting Styles & Diffuse Conflicts in Your Marriage

Mike Berry (of ConfessionsOfAnAdoptiveParent.com)

How to Integrate Adoption into Your Home, Life & Work to Make a Difference in the World

Tamara Lackey (photographer, activist, adoptive mom)

How to Help Your Child Overcome Their Past Trauma with a Trust-Based Parenting Intervention

Debra Jones (author, parenting coach, adoptive mom)

How to Use Animals & Pets to Help Regulate Your Traumatized Child

Lindsey Bussey (equine therapist)

How to Develop an Effective Plan to Intentionally Parent Challenging Behaviors in Adopted Children

Stacy Manning (author, parenting coach)

How to Help Your Foster & Adopted Children Rise Up from the Depths of Trauma & Low Self-Esteem

Dr. Sue Cornbluth (therapist, parenting expert)

Tough Decisions When Parenting Reactive Attachment Disorder

John M. Simmons (author, adoptive dad)

Could Your Child’s Behavior Actually Be Sensory Processing Disorder?

Marti Smith (occupational therapist)

Creating this Adoption HEART Conference has significantly changed my view of adoption — now I feel that I can see through the lens of my adopted children about the adoptee loss that they WILL eventually experience.

Be sure and go to AdoptionHEARTconference.com to check out all the sessions and claim your free ticket to this life-changing event. Please share with your friends, agencies, and caseworkers!

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Is Adoption Really Everything You’ve Ever Wanted?

What people don’t tell you about adoption is the trauma that a child experiences can take hold of a family and cast doubts on the dreams of a happily ever after. I recently read the memoir of adult adoptee Jillian Lauren, Everything You Ever Wanted, about her and her husband’s adoption of their son from Ethiopia. She’s a beautiful writer that has an ability to make you visualize in great detail as if you were on the adoption journey with her.

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What I liked about her story is that she told it with honesty without the sugar coating that many adoption stories have. She didn’t paint the story as all rainbows and sunshine. She had struggles and was willing to share those hard parts too. Unless you’ve adopted and truly understand the transition to attachment and bonding, you naively don’t realize that there is a process to attachment. Sometimes it isn’t easy, and that’s what I loved about her story.

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She begins her story with her courtship and marriage to Scott Shriver, member of the rock group, Weezer, and being a “rock star wife.” After her previous life that included drug use, rehab, and the sex industry, I did want to know more about if she struggled with feeling loved unconditionally by her husband. Did she struggle with jealousy or low self-esteem in their marriage, especially given his status in a rock band followed by millions? What was different about Scott? But this is their real life, and keeping that part of their relationship between them is probably a good thing for their marriage. Marriage is between two people and the public doesn’t need to to know everything.

In Everything I Ever Wanted, Jillian gives an entertaining account of her infertility journey – if you like roller coasters! It reminds me of what desperate measures a woman will go through to have a baby. I was reminded how desperate I too felt as an infertile!

“Everybody keeps telling us us that if we’d just relax already, we’d get pregnant.”

“What do I really want? A Mini-Me or a family?”

Desperate times calls for desperate measures is a more-than-accurate motto of this part of Jillian’s adoption story, and her most desperate attempt to get pregnant had me literally laughing out loud, gasping for air.

She does share her struggles with feeling fit to be a mother given her colorful past. She openly shares her journey of attachment parenting, taking us on the ride with her as she struggles to find the solution to her child’s behavior issues. And I also struggle with parenting a child that suffered early neglect. Like us, when her child’s behavior became overwhelming, she sought out all sorts of help for her child. I too struggled in finding a daycare that my son could thrive in.

I could really relate to her struggle to parent in a different way via attachment parenting. It’s true that it’s not your first instinct to love on a child when they are acting like a demon.

“I’ll be honest, when the tantrums come, “Mommy is here. I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe” are NOT the first words that come to mind. The first words that come to mind are, “Stop throwing sh*t at me and get in the f-ing car already!”

In Everything You Ever Wanted, Jillian shares what she’s learned in her adoption journey. Things I didn’t realize ahead of time. When you bring your child home, “keep close to home, keep stimulation and distraction minimal, and stay present in the moment.”  She shares what she learned about parenting trauma.

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What I especially liked about Everything You Ever Wanted is its open, honest inner dialog of a heart-touching, heart-breaking journey to parenting — of getting everything you ever wanted and what you didn’t, but, in the end, knowing you wouldn’t want it any other way!

Click to sign up to see my in-depth interview with Jillian in the Adoption HEART Conference – an online adoption event.

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I’m Clever

Sway