Foster2Forever

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5 Ways to Help Foster Children and Families without Fostering

A handgun was placed in front of her. Was it loaded? Did it matter? Micki* was only 11 years old and knew nothing about firing one. “Go ahead. The world would be a better place without you in it.” – the words spoken by her mother.

Micki and her little brother came to our home late one night with a trashbag of dirty clothes and very few belongings. They lived in our home for one week as arrangements were being made for them to go live with their dad out-of-state.

We are foster parents.

Wait! Before you say, “Oh, that’s great for you, but I could never do foster care!” Let me reply with “you don’t have to.”

ways-to-help-foster-children-families

Foster children come into care through no fault of their own. You can help one of the 450,000 children in foster care without actually adopting or becoming a foster parent. Here’s how:

1. Offer Your Photography Skills

So many of you are talented photographers. “A picture is worth a thousand words.” Agencies use photolistings of foster children needing a home to display to potential families. Sadly, many times, unflattering “deer-in-the-headlights” snapshots are the only photos ever taken of the child. Sometimes, a photo that captures the mesmerizing eyes of a child showing their personality is what can tug on a potential parent’s heart. Are you a photographer? Would you be willing to create beautiful portraits of foster children to display to potential families?

If you would be willing to donate your artistic skill, go to the Heart Gallery of America, to find a Heart Gallery in your area, or to begin one.

2. Become a Foster Child’s Advocate

Sometimes a foster child may move from home to home, and desperately need a consistent adult presence in their life to ensure that they don’t get “lost in the system.” Judges appoint Court-Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) volunteers to watch over a foster child’s case and advocate for them in court.

CASA volunteers do not have to be attorneys or social workers, just everyday people that want to make a difference in an abused or neglected child’s life. For more information, contact casaforchildren.org

3. Donate to an Organization that Assists Foster Children

Of course, sometimes, money can help those in need. There are many, many organizations designed to help abused and neglected children.

My favorite charities are those that assist the 30,000 foster children that, by turning 18, are “aging out” of the foster care system each year. These children become adults with no place to call home. No parents to call for guidance or assistance in getting started on their own. Country singer Jimmy Wayne (@jimmywayne) was a foster kid that found himself homeless and hungry, like 50% of former foster children do.

http://youtu.be/FDtIzSqbT2s

He created Project Meet Me Halfway to help other former foster children. In Miami, Casa Valentina provides a supportive home environment for adult foster girls that have aged out of foster care to assist them in becoming healthy, productive adults.

If you would like to help foster children in Texas, each local CPS office has a Rainbow Room which is stocked with emergency items, such as underwear, baby formula, diapers, and hygiene items, available for immediate use for children when first placed into foster care.  Here is a list of Rainbow Rooms with online drives for emergency items.

4. Provide Short-Term Respite Care for a Foster Parent

As you may know, caring for your children is a challenging endeavor. As parents, you must make alone time with your spouse to keep your family strong. However, my husband and I didn’t leave our home alone overnight for nearly 2 years. We desperately needed some “alone time”, otherwise known as short-term respite care.

As foster parents, we couldn’t leave our foster children with just anybody – anybody that cares for our foster children has to pass our State’s background check for foster care. And foster parents – shoot, any parents – can reach burn out easily if they don’t occasionally have some type of respite or “getaway”.

Would you be willing to help out a foster family by providing respite care? Contact your local child welfare office for requirements.

5. Provide Meals for Foster Families with New Placements

The first few days when a child comes into a new environment is full of adjustments – for the entire family! Consider providing a meal to a foster family when you learn of a new placement.

*6. Provide a Home for Child that Doesn’t Have One

I know I said “you don’t have to {do foster care}”; however, would you be willing to just to find out the facts? Agencies are constantly holding informational meetings. Classes for potential foster parents begin soon!

Here’s a special challenge for you! Simply attend an informational meeting to learn more about foster care in your area.

Who knows? Maybe this year will be a life-changing year! For you and a neglected child.

BEGINNING FOSTER CARE

BEST Of Foster2Forever

OUR E-BOOK

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You Can Tell He’s Not Yours

I think we have the same smile. Don't you?

“You can tell by looking at him that he’s not yours.”

Yes, those are the words Lil Bit’s Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) said to me during one meeting.

I was shocked she said that to me.  And that statement did rub me the wrong way.  Okay, I admit it – I was offended.

Would she have said that to me if Lil Bit were African-American?

Or what if he were blond-haired and blue-eyed like Blondie?

What would’ve been your reply?

Have you had to deal with small-minded people in regard to your children?

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April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month

A Foster Parent’s Perspective – Preventing Child Abuse

When Penny asked me to write a guest blog for National Child Abuse Prevention month, I said ‘yes!’  Then I thought, ‘What have I done? ‘ I don’t know anything about child abuse Prevention. I know some about child abuse.  I know a little, and I stress little, more about dealing with abused children. But, prevention – not so much.

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So, here we are – National Child Abuse Prevention month. While I do not claim to be an expert in any sense of the word, I do believe that these thoughts are practical ways that will reach multiple generations, if we are willing to say yes.

My husband and I have been foster parents for the last 16 months.  Fostering has opened our eyes to a broken, overworked system that focuses on putting out immediate fires with little regard for long term consequences.   Please understand, the system is broken – not necessarily the people who work in the system.

One really great person that works in this system is the Child Advocate or CASA volunteer. We have the most amazing CASA volunteer and are blessed to be in a county that requires every child be assigned a volunteer.  The CASA volunteer’s job is simply to speak on behalf of the child.  Because, they are volunteers, they work with the kids because they WANT to, not because they have to.  These volunteers provide the child a voice, that isn’t looking out for their own interests – like attorneys, CPS, judges, etc.  So, what can you do?  If you are not a foster parent, sign up to be a volunteer.   Be the voice of an abused child and help prevent abuse for the next generation.

Our fostering process has had SO many ups and downs.  Our intention has always been that we would adopt one or more children through fostering, which is the riskiest decision we have ever made.  I’m not good at making relationship boundaries; I’m an “all in” kinda girl…which makes fostering SO hard for me. Anyway,  about 10 months into fostering our daughter, I had an epiphany.  While losing a child would be the worst loss of my life, I get the opportunity to lay a foundation of love, hope and joy for a child whose foundation would have been abuse, drugs, drama and who knows what else.  That, my friends, may be the ultimate way to personally impact the prevention of child abuse, the riskiest perhaps, but worth it.

So, remember at the beginning when I said we have to be willing to say yes?  Well, that may be the hardest part!

Melody, from I Heart…small kitchen appliances, is a wife, mom and children’s pastor who currently resides in the Greater Houston area.  She enjoys creating – food, crafts and organized chaos!  When she isn’t at home or church you will find her behind a 1929 baby grand practicing for a choral concert.

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PERMANENCY FOR OUR FOSTER BABY

Wednesday is a big day! We have been invited to the permanency conference for our 10-month-old foster boy, Lil Bit.  A permanency conference is a meeting that the State holds to discuss a plan for permanency for a foster child with the involved parties.

The first permanency conference is held when a child is first removed, where the plan for permanent placement is almost always reunification with the parents. In this meeting, everything the parent has to do to be reunited with their children is discussed with all the tasks spelled out for them.

Another is held later, especially if the parent has not complied with the permanency plan. My husband and I showed up for one with another foster child, where the case worker didn’t think we should attend and sent us on our way since the State was going to discuss terminating the mother’s parental rights. (She had disappeared for a month and a half on a drug binge)

Remember, our strange day in court last month, where we showed up expecting a hearing on whether or not the baby stays with us or moves to his great-aunt’s home? With the CASA and baby’s ad litem attorney pushing for a familial placement with the great-aunt, we were preparing to pack the baby’s things and say good-bye. We were shocked when the recommendation from the State and CASA was for the baby to remain with us until another hearing in September!

However, last week, through our attorney, I received the status report from the State on this case. The State is moving for terminating the mother’s parental rights!  We had no idea!  The mother is mentally-challenged and recently moved back in with her abusive grandmother. She has lived in 4 places in 6 months.

Another important thing we learned from the status report is that there is a cousin wanting custody of Lil Bit.

A list of those in line for Lil Bit:

  • Lil Bit’s great-aunt – barely passed home study due to previous investigations, but State and others are recommending this familial placement for Lil Bit
  • US – foster parents for most of the 10 months of Lil Bit’s life
  • The Cons – has Lil Bit’s 5 other siblings and is collecting a disability check on ALL of them (actually told State investigator that they would get Lil Bit by buying the mother “a shiny, new cell phone”)
  • AND NOW, A COUSIN HAS COME OUT OF THE WOOD WORK!!!
Where were these family members with the last 5 children the mother lost custody of ?
Please say a quick prayer for us Wednesday morning!
“And we know that all things God work together for good to those who love God” – Romans 8:28
Here’s a picture I recently took of our Lil Bit with my 12-year-old puppy that suffers from ADHD/OCD.
Check out the other pet photos at iheartfaces.

I’m Clever

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