Foster2Forever

Archives for February 2015

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Easy Dr. Seuss Green Eggs and Ham Recipe

After searching for Dr. Seuss food ideas, I finally found the easiest Dr. Seuss green eggs and ham recipe!

You see Dr. Seuss’ birthday of March 2nd touches a special memory in my heart of the grandfather my children never met. Every year, I celebrate with my kids with a special edible Dr. Seuss food menu…because of their grandfather’s epic recipe fail of green chicken…

Check out this easy green eggs and ham recipe for a Dr. Seuss party

Making the green eggs was easy – white chocolate with green M&Ms – but I couldn’t think of any easy way to make the green ham. And then! Perusing the candy aisle at H-E-B I found the perfect green ham!!

The new Peeps Minis in Sour Watermelon flavor!

Just cut off the head & turn upside down! 

These Peeps look just like green ham for a Dr. Seuss party snack

Here’s my Dr. Seuss Green Eggs & Ham Recipe! (Note: the larger Mega M&Ms would probably look even better)

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Parenting Using The Whole Brain Child – Book Review

Have you read THE WHOLE BRAIN CHILD: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind?

This best-selling parenting book by psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel and psychotherapist Dr. Tina Bryson has excellent advice on parenting that is based on the science of the brain.  The authors teach 12 parenting techniques that can help children deal with fears and frustrations by applying the latest research on brain development.

This book is an excellent resource to help parents understand how your child’s brain handles emotions and experiences; and gives you techniques to use as a parent to help your child make sense of their experiences.

I highly recommend this book, but I do give you a warning my video review.

Click here to view this Parenting with The Whole Brain Child video through YouTube

Purchase THE WHOLE BRAIN CHILD: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind {Amazon affiliate link}

Here are some posts that I’ve written about the strategies from The Whole Brain Child:

NAME IT TO TAME IT: How to tell stories to calm big emotions

FAMILY BONDING: Increase the family fun factor

Be sure & subscribe to my YouTube channel!

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Is Time-Out the Best Method to Discipline Your Child?

Is time-out really the best method to discipline your child?

My little boy would NEVER stay in time-out when I had to discipline him!  The ordeal of constantly moving him back to his time-out chair with his emotions (and mine) escalating exponentially became a horrifying punishment, not only for him but for me as well. (Admittedly, it was a good workout, especially if I had to dodge the chair he was throwing at me.)

But I was taught that time-out is the best method of discipline — one minute for each year of a child’s age. Is that what you were taught?

Is forcibly restraining a child in time-out a really helpful method of discipline in changing a child’s behavior?

Is using time-out for discipline hurting your child?

We put our child in time-out and somehow expect that our child’s behavior will magically change when the time-out is over. Does time-out actually teach our child how to behave? Sending a child away to a time-out when he misbehaves doesn’t help him LEARN how to behave.

In fact, it can be counterproductive, especially for at-risk children.  The isolation of a time-out encourages a child to disengage from the world, especially when dealing with life’s disappointments.

To some children, a time-out can be a form of banishment and rejection from the family, and can cause insecurity in a child’s mind. You may be sending the message to your child: “My parents don’t want me around.” Read how our foster daughter reacted to time-out.

And this is particularly true with foster or adopted children that struggle with attachment. Because of a child’s early history of neglect and abuse, he may already feel disconnected from the family due to the lack of bonding in his earlier relationships.

The isolation of a time-out can encourage a child to disconnect from the world, and can reinforce the belief that he is alone in the world and can only rely on himself.

On another point, when you send your child to his bedroom for a time-out, you may be sending your child to a bedroom full of toys and entertainment. “Go to your room and think about what you did!” Is a child really thinking about what he did wrong and how he can do better next time?  Alone in his bedroom, a child can amuse himself alone, and detach emotionally to forget about problems in the family.

Dr. Jane Nelsen, the renowned author of Positive Time-Out, through her 4 R’s OF PUNISHMENT, shows what negative feelings a child may develop when isolated:

1. Resentment: “This is unfair. I can’t trust adults.”

2. Revenge: “They’re winning now, but I’ll get even.”

3. Rebellion: “I’ll do just the opposite to prove that I don’t have to do it their way.”

4. Retreat into:

  •       a. Sneakiness: “I won’t get caught next time.”
  •       b. Reduced self-esteem: “I’m a bad person.”

“Isolation, no matter how brief, encourages the child to focus on things and objects — and not on relationships.” via The Connected Child

Instead of using time-out as a method of discipline, we have begun to use time-ins and do-overs.  Although my strong-willed defiant child is in constant need of redirection and discipline, we have begun to see positive changes in his behavior.

DOWNLOAD YOUR TIME-IN DISCIPLINE GUIDE SHEET

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Star Wars Darth Vader Valentine Box

Looking for a Valentine box ideas for boys? Check out how I made a Star Wars Darth Vader Valentine box for my son!

Check out this Star Wars Darth Vader Valentine box! Great idea for boys!

With all the excitement for the release of the new Star Wars movie, I created this amazing and easy Darth Vader Valentine box for boys (or girls). Check out these other Valentine box ideas for boys and these Valentine boxes too.

Although I have only seen the first three Star Wars movies, my boys now enjoy the characters. With our oldest 24-year-old son, Bubba, at home right now, I asked him to take his 8-year-old little brother to see the new movie for a bonding time. This was an experiment since the older son still picks on his little brothers. Surprisingly, both boys enjoyed their time together.

Making this Darth Vader Valentine box was actually quite easy.
SUPPLIES NEEDED:
Shoebox (I used a black one)
Knife/scissors
Black paint (if you need to paint it)
Large popcorn bucket
Black duct tape
Large googly eyes (optional)
Darth Vader mask
Old black t-shirt or cloth for cape
Stapler
Hot glue
Scotch tape

1. Cut a hole for the Valentines in the shoebox.
2. Paint the shoebox black, if needed.
3. Wrap popcorn bucket with black duct tape. You can try to paint it but I wasn’t sure how well the paint would stick to the popcorn bucket’s waxy coating.
4. Attach googly eyes to covered/painted popcorn bucket where eyes can be seen through mask. (optional – I thought it was cute)
5. Attach mask to popcorn bucket. We didn’t glue ours since it fit so well.
6. Cut old black t-shirt around the neck cuff in front and shape into cape in the back. (Leaving the neck cuff gave an easy way to attach the cape around the box.)
7. Attach cape to one end of the box. Secure top of cape with staples or hot glue.
8. Stick Darth Vader head on Valentine box. Secure with hot glue if desired. Our head fit perfectly snug on box so that it could be easily be pulled off and put back on again.
9. Make name card (I.e. Darth Jackson) using a Star Wars font.
10. Take a picture and tag @foster2forever on Instagram or Twitter. Or share your creation on my Facebook page.

Add name to box using http://www.dafont.com/star-jedi.font

 

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Do You Discipline Your Children or Just Punish Them?

Discipline vs. Punishment

When a child misbehaves, many parents believe they should punish their child for the misbehavior.

The goal of punishing a child is simply to make the unacceptable behavior unpleasant enough that child stops the misbehavior (and doesn’t do it again).  For many parents, that’s the only goal: they want their kids to stop misbehaving immediately!

Punishment may stop the behavior at the moment, but punishment alone does not eliminate misbehavior over time.

While punishment can be physical, as in spanking the child; punishment can also be psychological, such as shaming the child, isolating the child from others (as in time-out), or taking away privileges. A child who is punished with spankings, shouts, and threats may learn how to avoid these punishments simply by not misbehaving in front of certain people. But there is no guarantee, however, that the child’s behavior will actually be changed over time or out of sight from the person who punishes.

Dr. Jane Nelsen, the renowned author of Positive Time-Out, shows 4 long-term results of punishment:

FOUR Rs OF PUNISHMENT

1. Resentment: “This is unfair. I can’t trust adults.”

2. Revenge: “They’re winning now, but I’ll get even.”

3. Rebellion: “I’ll do just the opposite to prove that I don’t have to do it their way.”

4. Retreat into:

  • a. Sneakiness: “I won’t get caught next time.”
  • b. Reduced self-esteem: “I’m a bad person.”

Great parenting quote! Punishing a child is different than disciplining.

When a parent punishes a child, it takes the responsibility for the misbehavior away from the child and simply gives it to the parent.

“Children need to be accountable for their own behavior in order to learn the inner control necessary to function as healthy, self-disciplined individuals.” ~Karen M. Carlson, University of Minnesota

In other words, children need DISCIPLINE!

Effective discipline means that we’re not only stopping a bad behavior or promoting a good one, but also teaching skills that will help children make better decisions and handle themselves well in the future.

The word “discipline” means to train (someone) to obey rules or a code of behavior — and comes from the root word “disciple”. A disciple is a student — a disciple is not a prisoner or someone to be punished, but someone who is learning through instruction. Punishment might shut down misbehavior in the short term, but training offers skills that last a lifetime.

Discipline is a term that’s not about punishment or control, but about teaching and skill building — and doing it from a place of love, respect, and emotional connection.

Punishment is hurtful to children; discipline is teaching!

Discipline is helping children develop self-control with a moral compass, so that they are thoughtful and conscientious in their actions, even when authority figures aren’t around.

Discipline helps children learn for the future, while punishment makes children pay for the past.

Read more in No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind {affiliate link}

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Can You Really Support THOSE Mothers?

“I can be a much better mother than her!”  I have to admit that I think that sometimes, especially as a foster parent. Even if the kids haven’t been removed from their mother because of actual abuse, but because the kids were in “unsafe conditions.”  The mother may not make the best choices in men or employment or recreational activities — but when it comes down to it — she is a mother!

And sometimes it’s really difficult to support a child’s reunification with family! Especially if we see that the child will be returning to a dysfunctional family. But supporting reunification is always the first goal of foster care!

When my young son came to my home as a neglected infant, I was upset about the neglect and lack of care given to this baby. However, I had to overcome my judgement to support this young mother in her quest to overcome her demons and have her son returned, even though it didn’t make sense to me.  I had already considered him “my baby boy” and a member of our family.

As an excited new mom, I went all out purchasing all sorts of cute baby boy clothes for “my new baby boy.”  I found the cutest 3-piece suit and had professional photos taken of my slobbery baby boy.

The butterflies twirled around my stomach before each family visit.  Then I realized something:

#sisterhoodunite

While I had feelings of loss before each family visit — this baby’s mother was feeling that loss every moment.

I realized I had to overcome my judgement of this young mother and show her support. I purchased a Mother’s Day card for this young mom from her 9-month-old son — Cookie Monster saying “I wuv you, Mommy!”  Inside the card I added a photo of her baby boy in that little suit.

#SisterhoodUnite

The next court date arrived, and sadly, it didn’t go well for her – she openly admitted her mistakes to the judge. But afterward, this young mother spoke to the Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) saying: “Please tell my son’s foster mom thank you so much for the Mother’s Day gift. It means so much to me.” That was the last time the young mother ever showed up in court or for family visits.

Sometimes we may forget how important or meaningful it is to show support and offer encouragement to the other moms. A small gesture of a simple card and photos can make a world of difference to a mom that hasn’t had any support her entire life.

I am proud to be joining the Sisterhood of Motherhood to encourage parents to support each other and to unite around the idea that we’re all in this together. I believe in this message of support and non-judgement!

Join me and become a part of the sisterhood!

Disclosure: I am honored to partner with Similac in the Sisterhood of Motherhood campaign to support other moms rather than place judgement. #SisterhoodUnite #ParentsFirst

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