Today I am thrilled to have a former foster child write this moving post about how one person’s words made a difference in his life.
Warning: You might want to have a tissue close by…
“SO, WHY ARE YOU HERE?“
That was the question I’d grown accustomed to hearing. Gone were the days when someone would ask for my name, or where I went to school. Suddenly, the sum of my existence could only be defined by one factor; the reason why I had become a foster child.
The answer to that question would provide all the necessary information needed to place me into one of two categories; someone who had done something terribly wrong, or someone to whom something terrible had been done. Was I the victim, or the offender?
So… why was I there?
Does it really matter? Would it make much of a difference? Sure, those details may tell you about where I’ve been, but what would it say about where I was headed?
I had been ripped out of my home and away from my family, only to be dropped into a house full of strange adults and strange boys. I was being held against my will, and nobody seemed to be in too much of a hurry to rectify the situation.
About two months after I had been placed into foster care, someone told me something that that I will never forget…
You can allow yourself to become bitter, and thus gain nothing from the experience. Or, you can take the opportunity to learn something from your situation, and grow into a better person as a result.
His words were simple and to the point. At first, they stung. Imagine the nerve he had to insinuate that I should assume any responsibility for my current circumstance. That I should become an active participant within my surroundings and not just a spectator.
It wasn’t until after his words sank in that I began to see the truth in them.
Up until that point, all anyone ever seemed to be concerned about was why I was in foster care to begin with. Nobody had stopped to talk to me about my future, or how my attitude in the present could affect it. That conversation, however brief, made a world of difference for me.
I had other experiences with foster parents and social workers that were not as positive. Perhaps I encountered them on a bad day. I don’t know. What I do know is that the negative comments did not produce positive results. Maybe if they’d understood how much their negativity set me back they would’ve chosen their words more wisely. Maybe.
It’s very important for those whose occupation involves working with children, to remember that what may be ‘just another day at work’ for them, could very well be a life defining moment for a child. Words are powerful and can change the course of a child’s life. I know this has definitely proven to be true in mine.
The next time you are ‘on the job’, please ask yourself, “Why am I here?” Perhaps the answer will lead you in the direction of kindness. It could very well change the course of someone’s life.
Isn’t it amazing how one moment can change a child’s life?
Check out this video of Dr. Wess Stafford, President and CEO of Compassion Ministries, as he illustrates one such moment…
Please check out Just a Minute: In the Heart of a Child, One Moment…Can Last Forever! full of inspiring stories of how a minute can make the difference in a child’s life forever.
Peter Combs is first and foremost an avid reader. His love for a good story began before he knew how to read. But it wasn’t until the age of six when he watched a movie about the life of L.Frank Baum that he realized that he too could create magical stories from faraway lands. But before he had time to create a new and exciting world, he was living an adventure all of his own, full of real life characters- both good and bad. His journey had many stops, and each chapter was different from the last: life as a foster child; dealing with memory loss; jumping out of burning buildings; at times homeless; and finally, the road to redemption.
Through it all Peter has learned that life is the most exciting story ever told.
You can visit Peter’s blog at Home, or follow him on Twitter.
