How Can You Say NO to Foster Kids?


Our two rambunctious preschool boys are a handful! The older, JD, being strong-willed and defiant, is not the best role model for our easy-going 3-year-old, Lil Bit.

Having our hands full with these two boys, my husband feels overwhelmed by infants and toddlers. Last summer, the placement of 3 more little ones in our home had us running ragged with FIVE kids aged 5 and under — (ages 5, 4, 3, almost 2, nearly 1). I was flabbergasted when a encountered my own Chick-Fil-A controversy when a {single} man lectured me for having too many children. After surviving that chaos, we changed the age limit of our foster home to ages 5 through 17. “No more babies” became my husband’s mantra. We have had no new placements since.

Early in May, we finally did receive a foster care placement call.

I know your home is closed to infants; however, we have an 8-year-old little girl that needs a home. She has a 6-month-old baby brother.

I was excited about the possibility of this foster care placement. Our 5-year-old, JD, could have an older sister to play with! However, after having 5 kids last summer, I knew my husband had to “bless” another foster care placement that included an infant.

Hold on – let me get my husband on the other line,” I quickly responded.

To my surprise, my husband said yes.

We would have FOUR children to parent. The kids will outnumber us 2 to 1!!!

That evening, I asked my husband about his change of heart: “I could hear the desperation since there are no foster homes in our area that accept infants. I just felt called to be their foster parents.

So we are now a family of SIX!!! I am so blessed to now be a stay-at-home mom! I honestly do not know how we could care for all these children if I were still working.

Now, my work is non-stop! Laundry, feedings, spit-up, diapers, referee…repeat. I am exhausted! And school hasn’t let out for summer yet!!!

The bickering between JD¬†and his new sister, KK, is nonstop. (They are not allowed to play Wii together or it starts World War Wii!) Since I have been a mom to boys, I didn’t realize how difficult it would be to deal with “little girl drama.” (my friends with daughters had warned me) I honestly believe dealing with “little boy energy” is easier.

The baby, Doodlebug, is a joy, but I had forgotten how tough infanthood is. And this baby spits up non-stop! He is the fifth infant I’ve cared for and I’ve never seen this much spit-up before. Even the incredible Dr. Brown’s Natural Flow bottles and Similac Spit-Up formula are not helping.

Another difficulty was that, at first, this baby would not go to sleep without a bottle in his mouth – and he would not take a pacifier – so frustrating, given his spit-up problem. I finally weaned him from this unhealthy habit which was torture for both of us. However, this sleeptime bottle weaning process has created an incredible bond between the two of us.

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We don’t know what the future holds for our foster children, but we do know that we were called to be their foster parents, if only for a short time.

When have you said no to foster care placements?

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