How Can You Say NO to Foster Kids?

Our two rambunctious preschool boys are a handful! The older, JD, being strong-willed and defiant, is not the best role model for our easy-going 3-year-old, Lil Bit.

Having our hands full with these two boys, my husband feels overwhelmed by infants and toddlers. Last summer, the placement of 3 more little ones in our home had us running ragged with FIVE kids aged 5 and under — (ages 5, 4, 3, almost 2, nearly 1). I was flabbergasted when a encountered my own Chick-Fil-A controversy when a {single} man lectured me for having too many children. After surviving that chaos, we changed the age limit of our foster home to ages 5 through 17. “No more babies” became my husband’s mantra. We have had no new placements since.

Early in May, we finally did receive a foster care placement call.

I know your home is closed to infants; however, we have an 8-year-old little girl that needs a home. She has a 6-month-old baby brother.

I was excited about the possibility of this foster care placement. Our 5-year-old, JD, could have an older sister to play with! However, after having 5 kids last summer, I knew my husband had to “bless” another foster care placement that included an infant.

Hold on – let me get my husband on the other line,” I quickly responded.

To my surprise, my husband said yes.

We would have FOUR children to parent. The kids will outnumber us 2 to 1!!!

That evening, I asked my husband about his change of heart: “I could hear the desperation since there are no foster homes in our area that accept infants. I just felt called to be their foster parents.

So we are now a family of SIX!!! I am so blessed to now be a stay-at-home mom! I honestly do not know how we could care for all these children if I were still working.

Now, my work is non-stop! Laundry, feedings, spit-up, diapers, referee…repeat. I am exhausted! And school hasn’t let out for summer yet!!!

The bickering between JD¬†and his new sister, KK, is nonstop. (They are not allowed to play Wii together or it starts World War Wii!) Since I have been a mom to boys, I didn’t realize how difficult it would be to deal with “little girl drama.” (my friends with daughters had warned me) I honestly believe dealing with “little boy energy” is easier.

The baby, Doodlebug, is a joy, but I had forgotten how tough infanthood is. And this baby spits up non-stop! He is the fifth infant I’ve cared for and I’ve never seen this much spit-up before. Even the incredible Dr. Brown’s Natural Flow bottles and Similac Spit-Up formula are not helping.

Another difficulty was that, at first, this baby would not go to sleep without a bottle in his mouth – and he would not take a pacifier – so frustrating, given his spit-up problem. I finally weaned him from this unhealthy habit which was torture for both of us. However, this sleeptime bottle weaning process has created an incredible bond between the two of us.


We don’t know what the future holds for our foster children, but we do know that we were called to be their foster parents, if only for a short time.

When have you said no to foster care placements?

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