It was tucking-in-bed time. He’d been quiet, withdrawn, and I could tell why.
My son is an older foster child, whom we are in the process of adopting.

A heartfelt post about older child adoption. #fostercare

At 5 years of age, my foster son entered the system. He came to us at age 7. He is now 8. Not to say his life became chaotic after he became a foster child. He lived in chaos much before then. Neglect and other forms of abuse were normal to him. Expected. Taught. Absorbed.

His removal from birth mom was a necessary call. The dangers outweighed the benefits of living in such environment. What am I talking about? There was no sure environment, for starters. Her rage and drug abuse took her away for long periods of time, as she farmed her kids around. Due to her inability to parent, my son was under such stress that he developed stress induced epilepsy… Which she was unable manage properly. Lack of medication or the will to administer the doses, not sending the medications to the caretakers (often, questionable ones, some were abusers themselves), all could have caused her son permanent brain damage. And aside from all of that, violence from her were both witnessed and experienced first hand, by him.

With such a long history of trauma involving her, you would think my son would want to forget all about her, wish she would never harm him again… But it isn’t so. He loves her. He always will.

If we were preparing him for reunification, it would make sense to promote their immediate relationship. We did, when they were trying to make that happen. However, her rights were rightfully terminated.They will form a better relationship some day, but not for now. His emotional wounds are too fresh… In fact, he doesn’t demonstrate the desire to move in with her again… Still, he loves her. He misses her eyes, her hair… I imagine he misses those short periods of time when he nestled in her arms, sensing her smell, listening to her voice.

We are preparing to adopt him, so it stung when I was reminded of this extension of his heart, his birth mom. Though he was next to me physically, he was close to her emotionally. What to do? How to cope with that?

So I hugged him. I told him I was so sorry for all the hardships of his life. He held my hand and asked me to stay with him for a while longer. I did. Then, I kissed him good night.

Mothering an older foster/adoptive child is hard. The “mother” seat may be taken already… Though, there is a place for me. For the honor of being called “mom” may not be mine, not yet anyway… But I have the honor of having him hold my hand as he travels across the state to find her in his thoughts. It was my arm he clung to as his heart tightened. It was in my embrace he buried his sweet little head, searching for comfort. My honor is to be counted trustworthy enough to accompany him in his journey.

Oh, why am I tearing up at this? Perhaps, because when I call him “son“, the echo does not reply, “mom“. Rather, it evokes the silent beauty of a new found trust, from a heart previously shattered, an echo expressed by his hand holding mine.

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GloriaRGloria R. is a mother of two birth children, and fostering to adopt an older child. She is  a licensed therapeutic foster parent with her husband. She continues to engage in research on traumatized children, foster care and adoption and hope to be a voice for kids, who often fall in between the cracks of society. She also loves writing and welcoming new readers to her blog,



This is so touching! Older child adoption from foster care.


Earlier this week, my kindergartner woke up with a HORRIBLE hacking dry cough and no voice. I was surprised since the temperature outside is still in the 90s here in Texas.

“Cold season” generally runs from September to April!

I didn’t realize that colds begin this early in the school year, but, of course, those are the months the kids are in school spreading their germs with all the other kids.

Although my kindergartner will eat just about anything – if you say the word “medicine” – he will start whining, crying, begging, and hiding. Isn’t that weird? Giving this child medicine can become an incredible struggle! Many times, before it’s over, we’ve had to resort to putting the medicine in a syringe, holding him down, and slowly squirting it in his mouth, just to get the medicine in him!!! And then he will just spit it out if we don’t watch…. How many of you can relate to this scenario???

In a new national survey of U.S. parents of school-aged children (ages 4-13), 40% say that they find it isn’t always easy to give their children over-the-counter liquid cough and cold medicine.

Dr. Cocoa™ for Children had sent me their products to try so I thought we’d try the Dr. Cocoa™ products that are made with 10% real cocoa — maybe my son might be more willing to take this medicine if it was flavored with “CHOC-WAT” (my son’s cute way of saying “chocolate“).

Dr. Cocoa™ Long-Acting Cough Relief is so chocolate-y that my son licked it up! (because it’s that thick) He even said “Yummy!” That’s the first time that’s happened!

To be honest, I was skeptical about chocolate-flavored cough medicine, but since trying it, I have been telling my family and friends about the Dr. Cocoa™ products that really is chocolate-flavored. Now I want Dr. Cocoa™ to make a children’s pain reliever! How about it, Dr. Cocoa™?

Like the Dr. Cocoa™ Facebook page to win a Dr. Cocoa™ hand puppet.

Here is a $2.00 off coupon so you can try Dr. Cocoa™ for Children yourself. You can buy Dr. Cocoa™ for Children at these locations.

Disclaimer: This is a product-provided, sponsored conversation that contains affiliate links. But this is my true experience with Dr. Cocoa™ for Children products.

Visit for a $2-off coupon offer.


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