Day: Sunday
Time: 7:30 p.m.
Location: Our Church
It happened again! I hadn’t seen THIS in nearly a year. And I was not prepared. (If you follow on Twitter, you know.)
Our kids were enjoying their Sunday night Awanas program. At the end of the evening, I went to pick up 3- year-old Lil Bit, as my husband went to pick up 5-year-old Stinkpot. After waiting for over 5 minutes in the atrium with Lil Bit, my husband came from the stairwell alone. The look on his face told me that our strong-willed Stinkpot was refusing to leave.
As I stood up to meet him, a loud roar rumbled through the atrium. The echo making it more powerful.
And as quick as that, my Stinkpot comes running from the stairwell, his face flushed a bright red, teeth clinched and flashing anger. He charged at my husband, fists flying, with a fierceness that was as if an evil force had taken control of my little boy.
I quickly interceded, so my husband could make a quick escape with our Lil Bit. Our hope was that I could calm him. Nothing was working. My face was punched and scratched. He was possessed by his Reactive Attachment Disorder. The sound coming from my little boy’s throat was a frightening growl.
All this time, parents are leaving the atrium, attempting to shield their children from what they were witnessing.
Our Stinkpot finally calmed down. But we are exhausted!
We will do all we can to help our little boy overcome his demons! We know our God is powerful, and we are seeking His wisdom for healing.
On the other hand, an 8-month-old baby girl needs a forever family. This baby girl is my deceased cousin’s great-grandchild, so my relatives are requesting that this baby be placed with us as a kinship placement. How can we add another child to this chaos?
Please pray for us as we make these important, life-changing decisions!
Have had to you turn down a foster care placement?
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
There is no shame in saying no to a foster placement (as difficult as it may be) when saying yes could possibly be detrimental to your children or family. Wishing your family an outpouring of support rather than judgment at this time!
Twitter: Foster2Forever
February 23, 2013 at 4:42 am
Thanks for the encouragement, Mary! Its a tough decision. Would you believe we still haven’t heard from the baby’s caseworker? CPS certainly is on their own timetable.
We are also foster parents here in Indiana with our goal being adoption. We have struggled and struggled with the system. And our arms are empty. We feel that we were called to this system, but after over two years and nothing, we are considering moving towards private adoption. We have had to say no to placements because of age restrictions and the protection of our biological children. It isn’t easy, but you have to trust that God will provide for that child. We will pray for your family as you make this difficult decision.
Twitter: Foster2Forever
February 23, 2013 at 4:47 am
Thanks, Kara! We sat empty for months because CPS refused to license us for foster care. And then when they changed us to dual license, we get the call for a foster only baby boy…who became our Stinkpot!!! It’s a crazy system. Praying for your family as you make the difficult decisions.
Can you stay with CPS & pursue private adoption concurrently?
You are amazing, such patience…:) I have no words of wisdom for you, but I know that I’d be hard pressed to not take in another little person, especially if they are extended family. (I’m hoping to one day add to our family via Foster-to-Adoption) But I know that you might just have your hands full, if not your hearts. GL with whichever decision you make, I know you won’t take it lightly…
Twitter: Foster2Forever
February 23, 2013 at 4:50 am
Thank you, Melina! Adding another child to our family right now is tough because I still work full-time. We are examining the possibility of me leaving this summer, but I insure us for $300 a month. Tough decisions!
We’ve had to turn down two.
One was (relatively easy) — we turned it down based on what the caseworker told us over the phone when she called us. Known behavior issues that we knew we couldn’t handle (would have been our first placement) including known sexual abuse already leading to sexual acting out. (Given the ages of our biological kids, we just had to say no.)
The second was harder. It was a call for some kids that had been in our home before, had reunified and were taken back into care. I hated saying No that time, but the logistics of our house just didn’t work since we’d taken in another placement in the meantime. That one is as close as we’ve gotten to your situation, which has got to be even worse….
Check out what G recently posted..Caseworker Carousel
Twitter: Foster2Forever
February 23, 2013 at 4:54 am
Oh, Gen! Do you know how the kids are doing?
Such tough decisions! We are still waiting to hear from the CW. No decisions for us to make until CPS actually gives us one. This process is nuts!
Twitter: laurke1
January 30, 2013 at 8:57 am
Yes, I think most fp’s have turned down placements at one time or another. Its hard to do b/c you feel guilty, knowing you *might* be the best place for that child. But you aren’t the right place it it feels too overwhelming, the child’s needs are more than you are equipped to handle, or one more child will upset a delicate balance. I still have a bed open but asked my worker to mark us as full until the teenager leaves in July, for various reasons.
Check out what Laurke recently posted..Is it enough?
Twitter: Foster2Forever
February 23, 2013 at 5:00 am
The decision to take a placement is tough. Will our Stinkpot do well with a baby? He adored 10-mo-old Cupcake & 20-month-old Twinkie. (It was 4-yr-old Donut that he clashed with) We are still waiting on the CW.
What does your heart say? If you cannot hear your heart because your brain is screaming NO, it’s okay to at NO. Just remember that God makes a way and that his plans are perfect.
Twitter: Foster2Forever
February 23, 2013 at 5:02 am
Annie, I would love to say yes to this baby girl! I would KNOW our family is complete. If the baby came, I would become a stay at home mom. Kinda looking forward to that!