Most prospective adoptive parents are afraid of the idea of fostering. We were too.
We did not want to care for a child for years and then give them back. We wanted to adopt. If fear had stopped us, we would not have been twice blessed by the tremendous gift of adoption through foster care.
Our first adoption attempt was through a domestic agency. We were seeking the placement of an infant. Wait times were upwards of two years. During that wait, we were extremely blessed by a surprise conception after four years of infertility. This also disqualified us from moving forward with infant adoption through that agency.
When secondary infertility became apparent, it was much easier to pick up where we left off. Except, our first agency only placed to childless couples. There was also the issue of finances. I left my job when Rosie was born and without a second income, we could not foresee raising the necessary funds to adopt.
Around that same time, a friend was in the process of back to back adoptions from our county foster care agency. Their first placement was a baby boy, who they picked up from the hospital. Their second placement was a four year old boy. I watched as over time these precious little boys so completely merged into their family. It was, perhaps, the first “adoption story” I witnessed in real time, in real life.
Their example allowed me to pick up the phone and call our county. We began training the following month. Two months later we received our first call. An interview was scheduled. There was a 2 month old boy in need of an adoptive resource family…would we accept him? We had not even finished our training yet! We were emergency certified and brought him home a week later.
He was the sweetest little red head with curly hair. He came into our home sick, and that sickness wiped out our entire family for a month. The transition was rough. Bonding was slow. A friend had advised me to keep a guarded heart. His birth parents were obviously upset about his placement in foster care. They clearly loved him. At his weekly visits, we slowly got to know one another. They were nice people with difficult lives. It was not likely they would be getting him back.
In July, we adopted Augie, 16 months after he was placed in our home. We have an open relationship with his birth parents and I can truly say I love them. We had such a good experience with round one of fostering that we accepted our second placement weeks after our first adoption. Our foster daughter just turned one and we are in the FWW (four week wait – from termination of parental rights). We are hoping for a spring adoption…which would put us at about 10 months from placement to adoption in her case.
Had we not taken the chance on foster care we could still be waiting to adopt.
Elisabeth has desired motherhood since puberty. She was blessed to meet Mr. Right & wed in 2002. The road to parenthood was long, filled with tears & suffering. In 2007, they were blessed with their miracle “Rosie” thanks to the help of NaPro Technology. With secondary infertility, Elisabeth & Mr. Right entered the world of foster care. They adopted “Augie” in 2011 and hope to adopt “Caite” this spring. Elisabeth is an at home mom, who twilight’s as a FertilityCare Practitioner. Elisabeth blogs at Blessed and Broken.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Great story and so nice to see someone who is involved with FertilityCare!
Love this!!! We also took a chance on fostering a child. Our very first placement was a 6 week old boy….when his brother was born 15 months later, we took him in at 1 day old. We have now adopted them and they are forever ours. It wasn’t all rosy, we spent the first 2 years of that in fear of losing them, but even if they had left, I would do it all over again, and am. We now have a 6 month old baby girl that we are fostering, and her future is very uncertain. We have also fostered several other children during this journey, and have been equally blessed by their mark on our lives.
Thank you for sharing your heart! We have a 30-year-old informally adopted daughter, a son-in-law and 3 grandsons because we chose to foster in 2008. Long story short, we fostered two little boys who successfully reunited with their mom, with whom we had a close relationship with as we helped get the boys home to her, and she wanted us to stay involved in their lives. SO, we get to be “Grandma and Grandpa” to the boys and “Mom and Dad” to her. It’s been a blessing to see that our willingness to take a chance and foster resulted in such additions to our family!
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